A Gift

I came across this musing I'd written a few years back when we had a "snow day" off from school,  and it actually never snowed. I still like the sentiment of accepting some days as gifts and letting go to just enjoy them ...
"I know a lot of folks are discouraged that we missed a day of school and that the weather wasn't as bad as predicted and there will be hassles to deal with later, and a lot of folks spent the whole day at school anyway, but maybe we just need to adjust our perspective and see today as a gift ... to take time for ourselves or spend time with our families, who get far too little of our time as it is.  I've had 10 or so neighbor kids and teenagers in and out of this house today, making forts, watching movies, making hot chocolate, coloring ... work and schedules and obligations will always been there the next day, but unexpected times with our families and children are rare indeed.  Write a note to an old friend, read a book you've been saving for when you had "time", watch an old movie, call someone you've been meaning to catch up with and chat awhile, bake a cake and take some to your neighbor ... I say, give your time and attention to yourselves and your families today, and let the rest go, just for a day!"

Bathroom Humor

Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in the bathroom. Based on the vacant, deadpan stare, he didn't appreciate or even comprehend my hilarious reply of "Wheat or White?" My best material is obviously wasted on 13 year old males.

S.O.S.

You know you've taken WAY too much cold and sinus medication when you're having trouble following the story lines on The Love Boat ...

Subtle

Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."

Pokémon No Go

Dylan wanted to play Pokemon Go during the sermon in church. Of course I looked "shocked" and adamantly said, "NO!" To which Dylan replied, "I wanted to see if Pokemon could find Jesus in here ..."  Heaven help us!

Walk In My Shoes

I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet  So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Today is definitely NOT the day to walk a mile in Dylan's shoes!

Never Close Your Eyes ...

I've been down sick this past week and decided to finally lay day on the couch and take a much needed nap. The kids were playing together quietly, so I succumbed to the false belief that I could rest peacefully for a few moments. I gave them the usual admonishments about what NOT to do while I was asleep ... don't answer the door if you don't know the person outside, don't mess up your rooms, don't start fighting, don't cook anything, etc, etc.  A few hours later I woke up and was pleasantly surprised that everything in the house seemed quiet and normal.  Until ........ I walked into the kitchen and found that the kids had blown up about 100 balloons that were all over the floor, and Lily was frosting each one with Cool Whip. Why????!!!  How foolish of me to neglect to add "no balloon frosting" to my list of things NOT to do while I was asleep.  Lesson learned ... never. close. your. eyes.

I Dream Of ...

Lily was on Dylan's phone this evening and when he got it back he showed me what she had typed into the search bar ... What a sweet age it is to be eight when you still believe in everything magical! 😊❤️

Health Hazards

Lily informed me that she will NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could have a LOT of "bacteria." A true romantic in the making ...

Big Spender

Having a mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper",  eating "Whales" instead of "Goldfish", buying "Hydrox Cremes" instead of "Oreos" and having conversations like this one today after school ...
Bran: Mom, can we drive through Sonic? I'm starving.
Me:  No, Sonic is too expensive and I don't have any coupons.  I'll have to go where there's a $1 menu.
Bran: Coupons?!  But you have a twenty dollar bill in your wallet!
Me: Yeah, but it has to last me to the end of the month.
Bran:  It's ok, Mom, that's what DAD is for. (loved that logic!)
Me:  Um, don't tell Dad, but this IS his 20 dollar bill!

The Diagnosis

Lily came home from the pool saying her ear hurt.  I told her it was probably water that was still in her ear, which we call "swimmers ear."  Tonight Dylan was showing me a tooth that's been hurting him when Lily walked into the room. With great concern and authority she said, "Well, it's probably swimmers tooth. "

Need A Straw?

You know you live with a 12 year old male when ...  you enter his room after a sleepover and find your flower vase has been used as a Coke glass at some point during the night. One. step. above. animals.  Barely.

Made In China

Life with Dylan 101.
He was assigned a project in his Social Studies class to learn about China. His task was to bring in a Chinese artifact of some sort and explain about it to the class.
Me: "How did your Social Studies sharing go today? What did you take in for your Chinese artifact?"
Dylan: (whipping out a John Cena wrestling action figure). "This."
Me: (dumbfounded) What? Why?!!  John Cena has NOTHING to do with China!!
Dylan (emphatically): "Yes he does, Mom!  It says right here on his foot, 'Made In China'!"

Great. Can't wait to see the stellar grade we get on that one.

Love, Hate, and Middle School Basketball

I am the WORST basketball mom EVER.  I hate EVERYTHING about it. The uniforms are ugly, the balls thud and echo nonstop, the middle school gym stinks like old sweat socks, we are sitting on the dirty gym floor, balls keep hitting us from all the kids playing around on the sidelines, the buzzer blares in my ears and startles me every single time, the constant ref whistles are shrill and nerve racking, babies are crying, the super enthused mom sitting next to me is screaming "Defense" in a  piercing pitch a dog could hear, the coaches are bellowing "Hands Up" over and over like it's an armed robbery, and if the dad with anger issues next to me shouts,"Make it happen" or "Pass the ball" one more time, I may just lose it.  Did I mention I absolutely HATE it here?? But ... I happen to love one of the players, so here I sit, smiling at Dylan like this is the best place on earth!  Football and baseball I can do, but I'm pretty sure there is a level of hell called "Middle School Rec Basketball," and believe me, that's enough to keep me saved from now to eternity.

Sugar and Spice

In her bedroom, Lily Claire has a picture frame with the old familiar adage, "Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice, That's What Little Girls Are Made Of."  I found this paper in her room today and it looks like she's taken a little creative license with the poem! Indeed, there is a touch of lipgloss in every Southern girl!