Brain Waves

The faulty brain waves of sixteen year old boys, as evidenced by my conversation with Bran in the truck tonight ...
Me:  We're going to have a Fourth of July party at our house.
Bran:  When?

Shrimp Fried Rice

We ordered shrimp fried rice for supper tonight and I told Lily that she had to eat the rice, not just the shrimp (as she usually does).  When I came to get her plate later, the shrimp was gone, and here's what she had done with the rice!  She is soooo my child!

Great Value

Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Hero

I did my good deed for the day!  It was pouring rain when we turned into our neighborhood this afternoon. A little turtle was in the middle of the road, right in the path of the big garbage truck stopped one driveway away. I stopped the car, dashed out, and carried him over to the pine straw and out of the way of being crushed by the truck. It feels good to be a superhero ... even to a turtle! 😂🐢

Abba and Denise

Lily asked me tonight if we could watch the Beginner's Bible video about "Abba and Denise."  Yes, that would be Adam and Eve.  :)

Steak and Roller Skates

A little theology with Lily on the ride home today ... her questions ...
Does God ever spill anything?
If God gets thirsty and has to go get a drink, is He still watching you?
Are there roller skates in heaven?
Does Jesus eat steak?

Hmmmm ... good questions!  I think my answers were no, yes, yes, and yes.  I mean, is it really heaven without steak and roller skates??  I think not!

Blonde

Lily had us so confused today, and it was hilarious! She kept mumbling things and when someone couldn't hear her, she'd say, "Oh no. You're blonde." What?! Finally I asked her what that meant and she said, "Being blonde means you can't see!" Hmmm .. that's "blind" and you meant "deaf," Lil. Comedy of errors!

Yes To The Dress

WE SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!!!! ... at Toys R Us, that is! Lily spent her birthday gift card on this Cinderella princess bride gown! (Note the pink and yellow PJs underneath this super elegant gown!) When we put the veil on, Lily said "I LOOOOVE this bride hair!"

Front Teeth

My Lily makes me laugh so much!! She was mad when she realized she couldn't learn to whistle without her two front teeth, so the next thing I know, she had made some front teeth out of paper and taped them on!! I love this funny little girl!

Always With You

Sweet conversation with Lily in the car tonight ... she was a little worried about the thunderstorm warning that kept coming up on the radio. After a while she said to me, "You know what's a good thing about being a Christian? When you are scared you can say a prayer to God and He will help you not be scared and always be with you." Exactly right, sweet girl.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

Cheese Balls

Why do I let the kids talk me in to this kind of stuff in the summer???? A ginormous cheese ball barrel???? Full of essential vitamins and minerals, I'm sure!! Oh well. It's only summer once! Viva la Cheese Balls!

Teeny Tiny

Family, take note. I had a dental cleaning today and the hygienist said, and I quote, "You have a teeny, tiny mouth."  Quite the opposite of what I've been hearing for all these years!

Headache

Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Grandma Cora

Whenever Lily Claire (age 4)  plays with her baby dolls these days, she is "Mamma" and I am "Grandma Cora," for some unknown reason!  This was all fine and good until Lily started calling me Grandma Cora real loud in every restaurant and store in Snellville!

Crushed

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  Brandon apparently doesn't know his own strength!  We drove through Sonic for him to get a milkshake and when the lady handed it to him out the window he accidentally crushed the entire cup and the shake went all over his arm and hand!  I am STILL laughing!!!!!!!!!!

Golden Years

Well everyone .... It has begun. My descent into the golden years.  After a visit to the eye doctor today, I am the proud new owner of ....BIFOCALS!!! What???!!!!!  How did this happen??  Well, at least my new lenses have NO lines and my new frames have lots of sparkly rhinestones!  May as well "bling out" those golden years as much as possible and enjoy the ride!

Tank Top

Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck? 
Me: Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: AND put on deodorant ....
Me again: and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ,,,
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me) ...
Me again: and ..
Bran: (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!! I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me: I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale: All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome

Purist

Skeet and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Stuck

After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!).  Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!!  I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice.  I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?"  GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!

Snippets

Conversations with Lily (age 5) are always interesting!  A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!!  A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"

Epic

Eleven year old boys crack me up!  Dyl has three neighborhood friends over for an impromptu sleep over and they are playing video games, playing with old plastic wrestlers from eBay, and eating hamburger helper on paper plates.  I just heard one of the boys say, "This sleepover is EPIC!  The best one EVER!"  AND, apparently, my trash can lid that opens and closes by itself is "SICK" ... which is a HUGE compliment in "boy world!"  Please don't be jealous, other moms, of how awesome I am.

Summertime

I can tell it's summertime when my Walmart bill includes bubbles, suncatchers, fingerpaint, Captain Crunch, and Hi Ho Cherry-O!

Jingle Bells

Fellow moms out there will know that, every now and then, those "teachable moments" crop up when we can impart some sort of "life lesson" or "wisdom of the ages" to our children.   Case in point, the other day, Dylan and I were in a store, and he had to wait outside of the ladies room for me.  I told him to stay right by the cart and keep a careful eye on my wallet and keys while I dashed in and out. When I came out of the restroom, he had done just fine and had been sitting there, diligently holding my wallet in his hands.

As I was saying, "Good job" it dawned on me that I also needed to impart one more bit of motherly advice in this moment.  So I added, "Now you know, Dylan, if someone had come by and tried to take that wallet from you, I would want you to just give it to the guy so you would be safe.  I'd rather you be safe than worry about my wallet.  Anything in the wallet can be replaced, but you are irreplaceable."

Looking confused, Dylan responded, "So I should just GIVE the guy the wallet if he tries to steal it from me?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that my impromptu life lesson was obviously a smashing success.

"That's not what Daddy said to do,"  Dylan replied.

My heart warmed in that moment as I realized that Robert Skeet Taylor, too, had taken it upon himself to pass along some fatherly advice to Dylan about this very thing.  "Good job, Daddy," I smiled and thought to myself as I waited for Dylan to elaborate with some timeless nugget of fatherly wisdom.

"No," Dylan continued cheerfully, "Daddy said that if someone ever tried to steal something from me, I should kick the guy in the jingle bells and run like crazy."

Long silence (by me, as I am now speechless) ......  as I stare at a proud, grinning Dylan.

You know, somehow I just don't recall any such father/son wisdom between Andy and Opie or Ward Cleaver and the Beaver, or even one single "jingle bells" episode of  "Father Knows Best"...  I mean, imagine that!  Leave it to the sheer eloquence of the Taylor men of MY household.  Skeet Taylor ... REALLY?!!!  :)

The High Life

Bran just informed me that he "has it made" tonight ... he's laying in his bed watching the MLB channel on TV, he's got ESPN showing on the IPad, and he has a glass of sweet tea. He's living the teenage boy version of "the high life" apparently!

Over the Hill

Today's weird but true event: There is a small white church up the road from us that has a small graveyard beside it. Today one of the gravestones was decorated with all sorts of helium balloons, which to me was sort of funny. But then I noticed the balloons said "Over the Hill'!! What on earth?! Can you be "Over the Hill" after you have died?!  Maybe the balloons should have said "Under the Hill" instead!