Purple Marker

(2011) I walked into the kitchen this evening to find that Lily had drawn a big flower right on the refridgerator with a purple marker!!!! Thankfully I only buy washable markers! When I said, "Lily Claire, Don't draw on Mommy's refridgerator with marker!" Liily answered sincerely, "I didn't do it, Mommy ... the marker did it." Reminded me of a time Dylan drew all over my CAR with a black Sharpie pen and then told me that a bunch of ants had drawn it! Uh huh. Three year olds!

Best Friend

(2015) Lily just told me, "Mom, you can come to my birthday party because you're my best friend."  Sniff. Sniff.  Love that little girl!

Obscure

(2014) Bran wasn't sure if I could help him with his Language Arts homework last night because it was about some obscure, little known book called "To Kill A Mockingbird" ... had I ever heard of it?  Ummm ... yes, Bran.  I've heard of that "new" book.

Perks

(2014) Bran thinks he has hit the BIG TIME being on his highschool baseball team.  Why?  Because he gets FREE sweet tea AND lemonade at practices and games!  WHOA!!!!  Who needs the major leagues with these kinds of perks?!!  You gotta love 14 year old boys!

Round Here

While riding with Bran in his truck today, he turned to me and said, "Hank Williams Jr. A Country Boy Can Survive.  Best. Song. EVER."  Yup.  He's from around here.

Mother of the Year

(2014) I have to share my "Mother of the Year" story from this week ... I have been crowned once again.   I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet  So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Yes, once again, I am Mother of the Year!  What can you do but laugh?!

Worst Mistake Of My Life

Those who know me will attest to the fact that I'm adventurous and will try just about anything once (exempting anything illegal  or immoral! 😉).  However, I am NOT AT ALL adventurous when it comes to food, especially any kind of weird meat.  I can't stand those TV shows where they go to some foreign place and eat a lot of "local delicacies."  I get nauseous within the first five minutes. SOOOO, considering that, I made the ABSOLUTE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE tonight when I stopped in a food store near my house in the name of expediency that I've never been to before  (store name withheld so I don't hurt anyone's feelings). Y'all .... I should have trusted my instincts when my stomach lurched the moment  we walked In the door. The smells and atmosphere were horrendous, and I didn't recognize even one brand name or food item I'd ever seen before in my life.  As I intrepidly headed toward the meat section to find some simple meatloaf Ingredients, I kept getting queasier and queasier.  I was desperately scanning for ANY  meat I could even identify!  I am not kidding when I say that there were packages of huge wrapped hooves that looked like they were from a big cow or buffalo or something, and big slabs of grayish looking meat wrapped in strings that made my stomach churn. The capper was when I peered down into a refrigerated bin and staring back at me were about six frozen WHOLE lambs heads still with frozen fuzzy wool on them, wrapped in some yellowish cling wrap!  I seriously had to grab Lily's hand and run out of the store before I was completely ILL.  What a nightmare!!  What on earth possessed me to go into a sketchy meat shop to begin with?!  I got OUT OF THERE as fast as I could. Remind me next time to PLEASE take the extra turn into Kroger where I can rest assured that some big frozen animal face won't be greeting me from the meat counter and we won't have to stir-fry giant horse hooves for dinner. I am scarred for life, and Skeet can't quit laughing at my horrible ordeal!

Parent Conference

I had a parent say the nicest thing today that I've ever been told at a parent- teacher conference in 20 years of teaching. She said that her daughter came home the other day after school and told her, "Mrs. Taylor teaches us so many things beyond just Language Arts. She teaches us about kindness and how to treat each other the right way. Secretly, Mom, I know she's a Christian.  She can't say it, but I can see it."  I teared up on the spot ... One of the most meaningful compliments I've ever gotten from a student, and so kind of her sweet mom to share it with me!

Coupons

(2012) Having a Mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper",  eating "Whales" instead of "Goldfish", buying "Hydrox Cremes" instead of "Oreos" and having conversations like this one today after school ...
Bran: Mom, can we drive through Sonic? I'm starving.
Me:  No, Sonic is too expensive and I don't have any coupons.  I'll have to go where there's a $1 menu.
Bran: Coupons?!  But you have a twenty dollar bill in your wallet!
Me: Yeah, but it has to last me to the end of the month.
Bran:  It's ok, Mom, that's what DAD is for. (loved that logic!)
Me:  Um, don't tell Dad, but this IS his 20 dollar bill!
Bran (after long pause): Well then ...bring on the $1 menu!

Imagination

(2015) I love imagination. I spent my whole childhood completely immersed in mine ... Still do, really.  I love seeing the same thing in Lily ... She is so much like me as a little girl! Came downstairs tonight and found her in the dark living room with a flashlight "deep in the jungle" exploring and  "having an adventure," in her words.  These are some pictures of the amazing sights on her harrowing jungle expedition ...

Grading

(2015) Must. stop. grading. informational. writing. papers.  My brain hurts.  45 down, 15 to go.... must finish these before the 60 narrative papers are turned in for grading tomorrow. I hope nobody wrote War and Peace.  I'm on a nightmare grading circle of life ... Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

CrossFit

I'm pretty sure I just completed an entire CrossFit routine trying to get on my black tights to wear with my dress tonight. I'm exhausted now.

Dinnertime

(2014) Lily Claire set the table and made dinner tonight .... too bad it wasn't for us!

Sleep

(2008) Oh my heart. My little Dyl. He never slept, but when he did, it was where ever he landed. ❤ So love this boy. 

Alaskan Bushmen

I am watching some show called Alaskan Bush Men and on this episode they are going to town to find girls at the "Grizzly Pizza" hangout. Their names are Bear and BamBam, to name a few of the five guys, and they just washed up to go "hunt women" (their words) with a plastic pitcher of rain water poured over their heads and a pocket knife to clean their nails. Poor Bear's pick up line with the "ladies" was "Who likes to climb trees?!"  One asked for a girl's number but then remembered he didn't have a phone since they live on the ground in the forest.  Oh dear. Surprisingly they didn't have a lot of success, and no woman wanted to come back home with them to their one room "trappershack" that they all five share with their elderly parents. Not sure why!!?  :). In Alaska, there is one woman to every seven men, but as the saying goes, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."  Definitely.

Lucky Lady

(2014) Dylan "likes" a little girl in his fifth grade class so he picked this extra special Valentine to give to her on Friday at the Valentine exchange.  What a lucky lady ....

Coyote

We got a message from our HOA that a coyote was spotted walking around our neighborhood!  Yikes!  Guess the Roadrunner will be the next to move in!

Peppermint Lotion

I made the HUGE mistake of putting Peppermint scented lotion on my feet tonight before bed! Buddy has been licking my feet nonstop and there’s no escape!! It’s tickling me to death and would be super annoying if it weren’t so darn funny!!  #puppyproblems 😂😂

Mean

(2013) As we were all getting ready for bed tonight, we were talking about all of our Valentines and cupcakes and chocolate and fun from the day.  Dylan asked Skeet,"So how was YOUR Valentine party at work?"  Skeet said, "We didn't have one."  Dylan said, "WHAT?  What did you do all day?"  Skeet replied, "Work."  Dylan angrily replied, "That is MEAN!  I am NEVER working there!"

Dreams

I always have vivid dreams, but I've had a fever the past two or three nights, and my dreams have been CRAZY! Case in point ...
1.  I dreamed that we had a Cyber Day for school, but all my students had to come to my house for their lessons.  The nighbors called the sherrif because we were too loud!(that's not far from the truth!)
2.  I dreamed that an emergency vet team showed up at my door and told me that Buddy had contracted a horrible disease at the pet store from being fed tainted caulifower and it'd cost $10,000 for him to be treated and cured.
3.  I dreamed that I replaced all the carpets in my house with turquoise shaq rugs and then regretted it.
4.  I dreamed that I was at the wrong school one morning and when I tried to tell the principal that I was at the wrong place, I had to swim to reach her because the faculty meeting was taking place in a huge pool.
5. I dreamed that a friend was showing me his new house and we had to slide down a creepy, dirty laundry chute to get inside.
Needless to say, I don't feel very RESTED.  Pretty sure I"ll be laying off the Muxinex tonight!

Freshen Up

(2011) Me:  Lily, let's go upstairs and freshen up before we go to Bran's basketball game.
Lily:  Ok, Mama ... let's freshen down, too!

Pink Chicken

(2014) Lily Claire has been sick this week so as we were snuggling in her bed and she asked me to tell her a story.  When I asked what story she wanted, she replied, "The Pink Chicken Who Has To Do Everything."  Finally figured out she meant "The Little Red Hen"!  I'm feeling a bit like that pink chicken myself these days!

Baseball

WOW!  Anyone up for some baseball this spring?  Between Dylan's team and Bran's team, there are 80 dates on our family calendar for baseball games between February and May! Peanuts and cracker jacks, anyone?!

Compliment

(2013) I received the HIGHEST compliment possible from a nine year old boy last night.  Before going to bed, Dylan hugged me and said, "Mom, I love you more than baseball."  WHOA!  That's huge!

Heartaches

(2016) Poor Dyl .. he was so excited that his basketball team was in the playoffs for the championship game, and when they lost tonight, he was SO crushed.  Fortunately, being an eleven year old boy, he was feeling better after a warm bath, an episode of Spongebob, and a surprise run to McDonalds before bedtime by good old Mom for chicken nuggets and a root beer.  Wish I could keep him this age forever and all his heartaches would be that easy to mend.  Sure love that kid.

Goodest Dream

(2014) This morning Lily woke up and told me she had the "goodest" dream EVER!  She dreamed that she and a bunny and a kitten were sliding down a rainbow into a pot of gold!  Such are the happy dreams of little girls!

Surutha Ghandi

(2016) Conversation at our house this evening ...
Lily:  Guess what?  We are learning about Jackie Robinson in Social Studies.  He's a famous baseball player!
Dylan:  We are learning about a guy named Surutha Ghandi.
Me:  Surutha?  I thought his name was Mahatma Ghandi ..
Dylan (dead serious):  Well, that's probably his twin brother.

Priceless

(2016) Today at school, I brought in a few colorful beanbag chairs for the kids' book corner. They were SUPER excited!! One of my third graders ran over and hugged me and said, "Mrs. Taylor, you may have the mind of someone 46, but you have the heart of an eight year old."  Priceless. ❤❤

No Students

My sweet school story from this week ...
A retired teacher brought in a bunch of old workbooks for me to give away to students who like to play school at home.  As I handed them out to a bunch of eager little girls in my class on Friday, they were buzzing about how they'd go home and play school with their dolls and stuffed animals as their "students."  (Exactly what I did as a child!) On the way to the buses in the hall, I was surprised that one of my little girls looked really sad.  When I asked her what was the matter she gripped the old workbooks in her hands and said, "Mrs. Taylor, I don't got no students."  At first I didn't understand what she was talking about, so I asked her to say it again. "Mrs. Taylor, I don't go no students to play school because I don't got no stuffed animals." How heartbreaking.  I knew this little one came from very little, but it never dawned on me that she had no dolls or stuffed animals at home. My mind immediately went to the millions that my own daughter has and loves.  So this weekend, we remedied this problem by making a quick stop at the Dollar Store.  My sweet little one now has two new "students" to play school with, and I've never seen a more beaming face than when her "students" went home with her today.  This is why I love my job.

Bedtime

(2016) It's about two minutes before bedtime and Lily asks me if she could tell me just one more quick thing before bed.
"Sure," I said sleepily. "What is it?"
"Will you listen to my top 100 laughs and tell me which is the best one?"
Ummm ... no, Lil. Let's save that for your next spend the night with Grammie!! :). Hahaaaaa!!

Gone With the Wind

(2016) I have TOTALLY failed as a good Southern mother.
I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature).  At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color."  I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."
Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"
After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"
"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right?  It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something?  Right?"
Oh. my. lord.
"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."
Bran, "Never heard of it."
WHERE did I go wrong?!  I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it.  All.four.hours.
Brandon Taylor

Autocorrect

(2014) Bran begged me to let him run in Kroger on the way home one night for Krispy Kremes. He couldn’t find them in the store so he texted me in the car. The autocorrect made for a hilarious conversation!

Fatal Mistake

(2017) Dyl's sweet little girlfriend is coming with us to our family Super Bowl party, and Dyl just got his first dose of Southern Mama crazy!  We pulled in to her driveway, and Dyl made the fatal mistake of saying, "Mom, can I have your phone to text her that I'm here?" Long, looooong pause of sheer disbelief.... WHAT?????!!!!!!! I needed my smelling salts as I was completely overcome by the vapors at this point. I was able to wheeze out, "YOU. NEVER. EVER. EVER. TEXT. OR. HONK. TO. PICK. UP.  A. GIRL!! YOU GO TO THE DOOR!!"
Dylan looked completely baffled and said "Mom, why?"
"Because you are a GENTLEMAN and, more importantly, BECAUSE I SAID SO!"  Needless to say, Dylan went to the door ... bless his heart. 😂😂😂 Score one for Southern mothers everywhere.

Quiet Time

(2013) This evening I kept nicely telling Lily that I needed some "quiet time" (since she talks to me nonstop 24 hours a day)!  After about five minutes of quiet, she informed me that now SHE needed some "loud time."  Sigh.

Santa

(2014) Ummm ... apparently "someone" who is not me (who is also six years old and lives in this house) has been texting from my phone. It was a stretch, but the text to Santa was my first clue.

Birthday Party

(2011) Well, Lily is indeed her mother's daughter: she knows what she wants ... but then changes her mind!  She now does NOT want a Belle birthday party beause she doesn't want Beast to have any part of the party, and he's on all the party goods, etc! Sooooo... we have now moved on to a My Little Pony birthday theme to be sure that Beast will not attend. Sorry, Beast, I tried!!

Breakfast in Bed

(2013) When I woke up this morning, I saw on my nighstand that Dylan and Lily Claire had served me a fantastic breakfast in bed!  Just because all the food was either wood or plastic from Lily's pink kitchen in her room was quite alright!

Text

(2014)

I can't stop laughing at this autocorrect snafu in this text conversation between Bran and me when he ran in Kroger a minute tonight!!!!

Super Bowl

(205) Yes, Lily Claire is my daughter!  This afternoon she said, "I feel sorry for Papaw because it's raining on his birthday." I answered, "Well at least it's the Super Bowl so he'll like that!"  To which Lily responded, "What is the Super Bowl?"  Oops.  Hahaaaaa!!