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Thursday, August 30, 2018

Bunnies

(2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!

Monday, August 27, 2018

Lifetime

So I've decided I'm much more of a Hallmark Channel girl than Lifetime.  Lifetime movies always make me feel creepy and are either scary or depressing, though it's supposed to be a channel that most women love!  I'll stick with the somewhat cheesy, sentimental, feel good Hallmark movies any day! Guess I'll go watch "Operation Cupcake" now rather than "My Teenage Babysitter's Secret Life As An Alcoholic Axe Murderer Who Seduced My Husband's Brother Who Has a Chronic Illness."

Mean

(2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Skippy

(2013) Dylan, Dylan, Dylan...  I don't know where he comes up with half the things he does or says ... you just NEVER know what is next.  Today at school, his teachers told me that in all seriousness, he has asked all of them to call him by 'the nickname that his entire family calls him' ... "Skippy."  SKIPPY??  I, nor ANYONE in our entire family, has EVER called Dylan "Skippy"!!!!!!  What on earth?!!  He could have at least chosen something a tad less nerdy!!

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Loaf

Ummm.... Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in his bathroom. Boys crack me up!

Bamboozled

(2013) I think I'm being bamboozled ... Lily crawled in my bed tonight and said, "See how much I love you, Mama, that I want to sleep in here with you, rather than all alone in my own room?"  Of course, after looking at her little face, it worked.

Aristocats

(2013)Lily had a VERY exciting moment last night when she realized that our family is "exactly like" the Aristocats ... a mom, dad, two brothers, and a sister!  Now we are all being called by our cat name, since apparently we ARE the Aristocats!  Sincerely, Duchess

Bribery

(2014) Mwah ha ha ha haaaaaa!!!!  That is my DEVIOUS, EVIL MOTHER LAUGH!! Yes, I have stooped to bribery  and it WORKED (don't judge a desperate woman).  Brandon has wanted me to get him a subscription to Netflix for a LONG time, so I told him that when his summer reading was done AND the WELL DONE report was finished, I would order Netflix.  Guess who's reading his book as we speak?!!!!!   Unless you know my boys, you have NO IDEA the miracle of which I speak. Thank you to a dear friend for the BRILLIANT bribery, oh, I mean "motivational incentive," idea ... pure genius!  Mwah ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!



Tattoo

(2013) Hilarious teacher moment today ... My skirt today had a slit on the side and one of my 4th grade girls saw the unsightly veins on the side of my calf and said, "COOL TATTOO, MRS. TAYLOR!" Nice.  I am now WAY cooler than I thought I was!  Hahaaaaaaa!!!!

Cheese Fries

Being the non-sport person that I am, I may not have ever really WATCHED any of the kids’ football or baseball games n the past 15 years, but I’ve been a world champ at eating concession-stand cheese fries. Pretty proud of that long standing commitment to my children. 😂😂😂

Charcoal

After a long week, I decided I looked like I’d been run over by a truck, so I decided I'd indulge in a little self repair, including coloring my hair (NOT that I have any gray to cover or anything), taking a hot shower, and trying out this new charcoal face mask product that's supposed to make your skin really clean and soft. I'm doing my thing upstairs and had been settled into our bedroom recliner chair for about 20 minutes, looking quite lovely I might add, in my old robe, glasses, hair coloring goop, and a super thick layer of black charcoal mask drying on my face that's supposed to gently peel off when ready. Now those of you who know my husband, Robert Skeet Taylor, know he is a man of few words. For 28 years he has quietly and patiently put up with all my ideas and antics and shenanigans with school and with the kids, etc, with nothing more than maybe a quiet look of bewilderment or silent resignation. Tonight, however, he walked into our room and took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT is THAT?!!" he asked SUPER loud, looking at my charcoal face. Well, of course, this got me tickled, and when I starting laughing, the whole dried mask cracked and fell off, which I think threw Skeet into further shock!!! So much for trying to have a beauty spa night in peace around HERE!!! 😂😂😂

Friday, August 24, 2018

Soda Pop

Sorry friends who are not from the South, but I hate the words  "pop" and "soda" ... Down here we say, "Y'all want a Coke?" And then you ask, "What kind? (Coke, Sprite, Orange, etc)  #nixthesodapop

Invention

I know that Gutenburg's printing press gets the credit most of the time for the best invention of all time,  but I think the guy who invented air conditioning deserves to be sainted or knighted or something! Let's face it, you can't even enjoying reading a book fresh off the printing press when you're roasting hot!!

Glug

(2014) Should I be concerned that the toilet downstairs was making a loud "glug, glug, glug" noise and when I went to check it out, foaming bath bubbles were coming out of the bowl????  How and why???!!!

Mountain Men

Watching "Mountain Man" on the History Channel with Robert Skeet Taylor ... Completely fascinating,but I think the show should be called "Forever A Single Lonley Mountain Man" since one of them is getting frozen skunks out of traps in his henhouse, another took an all day ride to a junkyard to find screws for his makeshift wood shack house, and another is picking up dead squirrels that "aren't too old" off the road to take home for dinner.  He said eating road kill is a good way not to be wasteful. The Mountain Men are definitely NOT chick magnets!!!

Roast

(2017) Tonight I was miffed when Dylan came home at supper time with a big bag of hamburgers after I'd made a roast. Halfway through dinner I look over and see that Dylan has put huge hunks of roast on each hamburger and is eating them!!! "See Mom! The roast didn't go to waste!" he proudly informed me. Only a 14 year old boy!!!!! 🙄😂😂

Thursday, August 23, 2018

App

Which Taylor male subscribed on MY Apple account to “Manly Pro Body Muscle” app??? Really?! I don’t think an app is the answer here guys.  😂😂😂

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Burned

(2011) One of the many reasons why I love Robert Skeet Taylor ... while helping the kids get baths and do homework tonight (AND not feeling good), I totally burned our whole supper.  I called Skeet, who is at the football field with Bran, and he just laughed and said he'd pick up something for everyone on the way home.  I love that guy.

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Instant Message

Lily and I were heading to the grocery store today and got behind a driver who was going 2 miles an hour and not turning at the signal, etc. Lily and I were getting annoyed and yelling real meanly  at the driver inside our car to “hurry up” and “pay attention.” At that moment we passed at church that had a HUGE sign on its lawn that said,”Love God. Love people.”  From the backseat Lily said, “Oops. I guess God was sending us an instant message. “ 😂😂❤️ We were much nicer to fellow drivers the rest of the trip!!

Favorite

(2013) Bran was pressing me to say which of the kids was my favorite Of course, he wanted me to say it was HIM ... instead I said they were ALL my favorite. Then he asked who was my least favorite! I said, "None of you is my least favorite. I like all of you. I have three favorites" Then, in one last attempt to get me to say that HE was my favorite child, he asked, "If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one of us, who would you pick?" Without skipping a beat, I replied, "Daddy." And that, my friends, is the TRUTH ... far, far away from all my "favorites" for a day or two!!

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Jeep

(2014) So, Skeet got Bran a truck so he could hold onto his beloved red Jeep Wrangler.  I hesitate to tell him about this conversation in the car today between Dylan and his buddy, Jackson, as we pulled into the driveway this afternoon ...
Jackson:  Who's truck?
Dylan:  Brandon's
Jackson:  Wait.  I thought the Jeep was Brandon's.
Dylan:  Nope.  It's mine now.

Watch out, Skeet!!  You may have nothing to drive once the boys are through!

Grammie & Papaw

(2010) I was sitting in with Lily and Dylan tonight as they were going to sleep and I mentioned that Grammie and Papaw would be coming over for dinner on Thursday.  Lily said, "Good cause I like Grammie and Papaw."  Then she asked Dylan if he liked Grammie and Papaw.  Dylan replied, "OF COURSE, everybody in our WHOLE family likes Grammie and Papaw ... and I think everybody in the world likes them, too."  I had to agree!

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Bacteria

Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"

Snow Cones

I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Heaven

(2011) I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Hot Dogs

(2010) While having our gourmet dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese tonight, Lily informed us all that they weren't "hot dogs", they were "warm dogs."

Mars and Venus

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.
Grammie:  A brownie sticker?
Brandon:  No, BROWNING.
Grammie:  What is Browning?
Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.
Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)
Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)
Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!
Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.
Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!
Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Fan

I am cracking up ... I "liked" a page that said "Like if you are a Jason Aldean fan."  Well now I'm a "fan" of some page called "I Love Southern Boys" and there hasn't been ONE post about Jason Aldean, but there's been about 100 posts of photos of muscle-y cowboys with no shirts on!  Not exactly what I thought I was signing up for!!!!!!  I kept scrolling down my page wondering, "WHO is sending me all these cowboy pictures?!!!" 😂😂😂

Friday, August 10, 2018

Kitty

(2014) Lily sang along PERFECTLY with every single country song that came on in the car today as we were running errands ... Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan ... the only problem was that instead of the lyrics to the songs, she would sing "meow" to EVERY SINGLE WORD!  It was her day to be a "kitty" and I thought I would lose my mind on what became the longest car ride in history!

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Melted

We took Bran to a Japanese restaurant last weekend and it reminded me of a hilarious story. When Dyl was about four, he was terrified of the big fire at the hibachi grill at our local Japanese restaurant. While the cook was preparing the grill, Dylan was happily playing with this super cheap, large plastic tiger we’d gotten at the Dollar Store. When the big fire ensued, Dyl was cringing and obviously really frightened so the cook guy was trying to reassure him and make him feel better.  To be funny, he took Dylan’s tiger and waved it through the flames saying that the fire was not scary and wouldn’t hurt him. We were all laughing and smiling during this display UNTIL he handed the big plastic tiger back to Dyl and the whole face had melted off in the flames!!! You should have seen the look on Dylan’s face!! 😂😂😂 I still laugh out LOUD remembering how shocked we all were, including the chef guy,  at the melted tiger blob he pulled from the flames! We bring it up EVERY TIME we eat Japanese food, and crack up every time!!!

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Robber

(2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Monday, August 6, 2018

Baa Baa Blacksheep

(2011) Lily Claire's version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep":  "Brandon black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full.  One for the magic, one for the dang, one for the yellow boy who lives down the lane."

Friday, August 3, 2018

Badge

(2014) I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!  :)

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Stressed

Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Aim

Observation about the male species .... They spend their lives perfecting aiming a ball through a six foot high net, or aiming a teeny tiny white ball into a cup sized hole onto a green hundreds of feet away, or nailing a ball right into a hand- sized glove way,way,way out from centerfield.  The Taylor males succeed at ALL of these almost 100% of the time.  So my question is, how is it that these skilled males have NO AIM IN THE BATHROOM???  As I clean the bathrooms yet again this week, I ask you,  WHERE is the expert aim and skill, guys????  Step up your game, boys ... PLEASE!!

Go Figure

Just can't understand why Robert Skeet Taylor doesn't seem interested in looking at pics of a bunch of cute stuff I saw at Hobby Lobby while the Braves game is on ... oh well, his loss! 😂😂😂

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Whiskey

(2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Sweetest Thing

(2013) I had the sweetest thing happen this afternoon as I was leaving school!  The maintenance guys from the county office were on our hallway ALL day trying to fix problems with our air conditioners, and mine was having a LOT of issues, so there were three or four of them in my room all afternoon.  Very polite and helpful crew.  Anyway, when I was gathering up my stuff to leave, one of the workers in about his mid-20s who had been in my room almost all afternoon said to me, "M'am, I would have loved to be in your class when I was a kid.  Your room is so animated and welcoming.  I sure would have loved it here."  Those kinds words from such  a totally unexpected source completely MADE my day.