Scale

(2012) Lily Claire just stepped on the bathroom scale and asked, "Mama, how much do I cost?"

Slip

So I am cracking up while watching a whole bunch of DVR'd holiday romance movies I didn't get to before Christmas (though I don't know HOW that is possible since I watched Hallmark 24/7 this month!).  Anyway, there is always a moment in the movie where the guy and girl (who don't like each other at first) end up liking each other and then, by chance, the girl happens to fall or slip or something during a walk and the guy falls down on top of her for this long awkward moment.  I feel like I'm missing out because in 23 years, this has NEVER happened to me and Skeet! HOW can that be??! I thought about orchestrating a "faux slip" magical moment when he gets back home, but I'm pretty sure at this point we'd break a hip or not be able to get back up!!!!  Hahahahaaa!

Mistake

"What a nice surprise," I thought when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed it was Brandon Taylor, who is in Orlando at a baseball tournament.
"Hey Bran!! So glad you called! 😄" I gushed.
"Hello?  Hello?  Mom?  Is this Mom?  Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to call you."
Nice.

Fire Alarm

Life with a 15 year old son .... Skeet and I leaping out of bed at 1 AM to the fire alarm screaming and the smell of smoke. Run downstairs to see Dylan standing guiltily over a smoking pan of burned scrambled eggs. Without blinking an eye he says, “Buddy did it.” Nice try!! I told him that the next time he needs a middle of the night snack, it should be a PBJ. 😮😂

Nativity

(2015) Tonight I was reading several stories to Dylan and Lily, one of which was a book about the nativity.  Dylan was super disappointed that it wasn't a "scratch and sniff" book ... WHY we would want to scratch and sniff a donkey, I just don't know!!!!

God Bless Us

As you know, my fourth graders did a book study of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol during December in our reading class. Today one of my little boys was getting checked out after the holiday party, and we gave our hugs and goodbyes and he ran out the door to go home. A few seconds later he reappeared in my doorway, and in his loudest, happiest voice he yelled to the class, “And hey ... God bless us everyone!” Completely made my day! ❤️❤️❤️

Slurping

(2016) There is no denying the Lily is my child! I bought her a drink at QT on the way to get groceries and heard all this loud slurping in the back seat. I turned around and asked her what in the world she was doing!  She said,"I'm just slurping along with the music."  Sure enough, when I listened, she was perfectly slurping along on beat with The First Noel! Oh dear.

Sweet Tea

(2017) A direct quote from my 14-year-old son tonight: "Mom ... all I want for Christmas is a mini-fridge for my room ... full of sweet tea."  Yep, he's a Southern boy.

We The People

Something hilarious happened tonight when we were at Mah Jong Chinese restaurant. At the end of the meal my father-in-law made a joke with the young waiter about there being a shortage of turkeys this Thanksgiving because they were all running for president. 😂 The young waiter laughed and said that he didn’t want a turkey to be president because the president rules over all of us. Of course, I HAD to chime in saying he needed a small lesson in US government, because “we the people” run the government, no one “rules over us” here in America! We are a DEMOCRACY (democratic republic) and the PEOPLE have the final say! I literally almost broke out singing The Preamble song from Schoolhouse Rock, I was so inspired!😂😂😂 Of course, Lily was dying during the whole minilesson and when we left the restaurant and stepped one foot out the door she said, “And THAT is why you don’t take a social studies teacher to a Chinese restaurant!!!!” We both then completely cracked up!!!! #teacherkidproblems #can’ttakemomanywhere 😂😂😂

Christmas Movies

I just feel the need to say that I hate any Christmas movie that (A) has the same day repeating itself over and over again until the character learns some lesson and changes his ways, (B) stars Meredith Baxter Bernie, or (C) involves any type of storyline where someone is sick or dying and the whole town rallies to give them one last tear-jerking holiday. All I want is complete, total, 100% predictable, happy fluff for the holidays! NO REALITY, PLEASE!  I know I can always count on you, Hallmark Channel.

Memory

(2012) Made a priceless memory today when I went over to help Mom decorate the tables for Thanksgiving ... Lily Claire and Grammie were two peas in a pod mixing and stirring and baking together in the kitchen.  Grammie had lots and lots of "help"!  I think Lily licked more of the frosting than she put on the cake and I don't think Grammie stopped laughing!  It was so much fun watching the two of them together!  Today and EVERY day, I am so thankful for our "Grammie and Papaw."

Sleeve

(2016) Nothing like having your 17 year old son wake you up on vacation to show you all his plans and ideas for the "sleeve tattoo" he is NOT getting.  I told him he could choose food or a tattoo.  :)  Every day is an adventure around here.

Torture

(2016) Hahahahahaaa!  It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV.  I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise."  For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel!  With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of  Mr. Miyagi advice.  Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... :)  I'm STILL laughing!!

Hot Rod

(2017) This memory made me laugh out loud ... Brandon Taylor
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)!  That was proven yet again this weekend!  Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed.  I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags!  And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator!  Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?!  Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning!  And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom!  Can I please get my car back now?  Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!

Hero

How to be a hero in two easy steps...
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂

Alternate Universe

(2014) I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning!  I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive.  If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc.  Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead.  When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me!  Scared me to DEATH!  I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!!  Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!  :)

Clear

The lady next me at the Nail Shop is showing impressive restraint! We are both getting a pedicure and while my person is slathering “Ultra Neon Pink Bubblegum Pop Fantasmic” polish on MY toes, the lady next to me just ordered “clear, because it’s winter.”  I can guarantee I will NEVER EVER pick clear, even when I’m dead!  Life is too short for clear, folks. 😂😂😂

Ronald

I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning!  I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive.  If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc.  Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead.  When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me!  Scared me to DEATH!  I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!!  Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!

Ballot

A funny memory from a prior voting day...
Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS!  He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices!  He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one!  I'll probably win!!!!  🙂

Fifty Shades

So glad I FINALLY got to color my hair today before it got the starring role in 50 Shades of Blond, Orange, Gold, and Gray!!! 😂😂

Awkward

(2011) It's official ... Skeet has been out of town WAY too much the past few months.  How do I know this?  Because tonight a very scraggly pizza delivery man with a white stubble beard and no teeth came to the door, and Lily ran down the hall towards him screaming "Daddy".  Nice awkward moment for Mommy, to say the least!

Mommy Days

(2011) Lily Claire has started calling the weekends "Mommy Day" since we get to hang out together without going to school!  I love it!  Looking forward to several fun "Mommy Days" with my girl this weekend!

Grammie

(2012) Had Mom and Dad over tonight for BBQ sandwiches and to watch football/The Good Witch movie from Hallmark!  I had even MORE fun watching Lily Claire and Grammie play ... they read Berenstain Bear books, wrote a LONG Christmas list to Santa, played princess and fairy dolls, played an Alphabet game...  Lily Claire was in heaven!  She was so sad to see them go home ... but she gave Grammie an apple to take home as a present.

CrossFit

(2013) Driving Bran up to CrossFit tonight ... I'm going to sit in the car and eat a cookie while I wait for him.  Hahahahahaaa!!!!

Bitter

(2014) REALLY?!  I arrange a RARE free Saturday night with all the kids taken care of so I can surprise Robert Taylor  with a date ... I can't even remember our last date night!  I'm thinking dinner ... a movie ...a stroll around B&N ... ice cream ... Now he reminded me that he will be out of town Saturday night, taking Bran to a baseball showcase in Tennessee.  I am bummed.  And to top it off, after 24 years with one guy, I really have no other prospects to be my date on Saturday night!!  Sheesh. Guess I'll stay home and wash my hair and be very bitter! :)

Discount Tires

(2016) Today I had to take my car to Discount Tires to get a tire replaced that had a nail in it.  (Me + Discount Tires is already the beginning of a horror story in my book.)  At any rate, though the guy helping me was super nice, I just wanted to get in and out of there with a fast quote on how much it would cost to order my new tire so Robert Skeet Taylor could go get it later.  Unfortunately, Enthusiastic Tire Guy had different plans.  He proceeded to teach me everything I never wanted to know about tires and tire pressure.  He showed me a whole bunch of stickers on the inside of my car door that I didn't care about, he told me all sorts of numbers for correct air pressure in my tires, he showed me a bunch of charts about green, yellow, and red tire tread zones, and then he talked for over thirty minutes about the Georgia Bulldogs and their football season.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there are any TWO things in the WORLD that I have NO interest in AT ALL, it's CAR PARTS AND SPORTS TEAMS. Though I smiled and said "cool" to this barrage of "fun facts," I began secretly wishing I had nails in my ears instead of my tire!  For that hideous hour, I truly thought the Ascension had happened and I had not been chosen, because I'm pretty sure I got a glimpse of HELL today at Discount Tires. 😂😂

Dress

(2010) I have a sweet hubby ... You know I've been searching for a formal dress this week and I was bemoaning the fact that I'd tried on a dress I had ordered and it looked HORRIBLE when I actually put it on.  I texted Skeet dramatically, "UG! My new dress looks super horrible on me and now I hate myself!!!"  He instantly texted back, "Must be something wrong with the dress."  Made my day!

Fathers

(2016) A father's love ... Bran called home around 8 PM and said,"Mom, I'm as sick as I can ever remember. My head and chest and eyes are hurting so bad and I can't stop coughing."  My next words, "Come home. You need to sleep and go to the doctor in the morning."  Bran replied miserably, "I don't think I can drive home feeling this bad, and I don't have any cough medicine left. What should I do, Mom?"  Without batting an eye, Skeet said, "Tell him I'm on my way."  An hour and a half drive one way at night to EC after a long day at work ... but not a moments hesitation. I love how much Skeet loves us and shows it in a million little ways every day. And I'm so relieved Bran will be home soon to get well. I wouldn't have slept so well tonight otherwise!❤️

Vacations

(2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town.  He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!"  Cracked me up!!!

Lovely

(2016) Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."  Hahahaaa!

Terrorized

(2010) Lily was singing real sweetly to her baby doll tonight ... "Rock A Bye Baby, the tree falls, bye Mr. Baby, when the tree falls."  I think her babydoll may be too terrorized to go to sleep after that rendition!

Purgatory

(2014) I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys."  Shoot me now.

Chick Fil A

(2012) The boys are all at the BHS football game and Lily wanted me to take her to Chick Fil A.  When we got there she wanted to stay and play on the playground but I had just planned to go through the drive thru.  I told her, "Lily, I didn't bring my Kindle or any book to read while you play!  I won't have anything to do!"  She thought a minute and suggested, "Well, you could sing a little song and play with my pink Webkinz beaver."  Hmmmm ....  I'd like to see the looks I'd get in Chick Fil A if I were to sit alone in a booth and do that!

Rest in Peace

I was doing some yard work today and found this buried in the yard. It was a grave marker Lily made several years ago when a little chipmunk had died in our lawn, and Skeet buried it. She gave it a beautiful “service” that day then made this notecard to say “rest in peace little chipmunk Dave.” Truly made me smile today and gave me a good laugh! Oh, that girl of mine!!! 😂😂😂

Grits

(2011) I have succeeded in raising my kids as true Southerners!  I told Lily I was going to go order pizza for supper and she said, "No, Mom, let's order grits!"  That's my girl!

Wild man

(2012) Poor Papaw dropped both boys off at our house today afterschool and got roped into watching "The Call of the Wildman" with us!  That show CRACKS me up ... Papaw had never had seen it and he was cracking up, too!!!  The Turtleman will get sprayed by 20 skunks in someone's basement then they pay him with an old piece of leftover lumber or something!  I have to admit, the Turtleman is pretty creative with his traps and inventions!

Precious

(2013) I love five year olds.  I showed Lily an online picture of the baby panda cubs from the Atlanta zoo and she stood by the computer petting them (on the screen) and talking to them in a soft, high, sweet voice for about five minutes.  Precious.  Wish she could stay little forever.

Evaporation

(2014) I am amazed at the apparent rapid rate of tater tot evaporation ... Anytime I send Brandon Taylor to Sonic to get some for me, half the pack is somehow gone by the time it gets home to me!!!!!  Hmmmmmm......  :)

Math

(2017) Lily complaining while doing a page of math out of her math book tonight ...
“What is WRONG with this McGrawHill person?! Does he just WANT us to be bored??!!”  I’m cracking up!!! 😂😂😂

Glitter Glue

(2013) Lily is laughing so hard she can hardly stand it .... she needed me to open a glitter glue pen for her and I couldn't get it open, so I squeezed it, thinking it might have a hole in the top where the glue came out.  Of course it did NOT, and the lid popped off real loud and flew off, and the glitter glue splatter all over my face and hands!  We both just sat there stunned for a minute, then Lily Claire died laughing!  Yep ... she's my child!

Four

(2012) I love that even in this "high-tech" age, little ones are still pretty simple folks.  Lily spent today drawing chalk pictures on the sidewalk, playing hopscotch, building with blocks, playing with Mr. Potato Head, rocking her baby dolls, coloring in a coloring book, playing in a sandbox, collecting acorns, catching falling leaves, and planting flowers in a flower pot.  Nothing sophisticated or complicated ... just simple, old-fashioned fun.  She had a blast... I wish she could stay four years old forever!

Waffle House

So I’m going to make a confession. Waffle House grosses me out, and I hate to go there.  My husband knows this, so he was in shock today when I texted him that I took the kids to Waffle House for breakfast because the boys LOVE it! One of those sacrificial mom moments, I guess. 😂 Anyway everything went fine, it was SORT OF clean, we ate our food (though they only have cold syrup and serve hashbrowns with everything, even a hamburger) and I was starting to think, “Ok, this wasn’t so bad...”.  Just as I was entertaining this positive thought, the waiter next to me dumped an entire gigantic bucket of bleach water on the floor right next to where I was eating. Classy. Couldn’t quite swallow down anymore waffle with the bleach fumes floating over the greasy floor by my feet.  Check, please.  😂😂

Bears

(2011) Great.  Dylan talked me into watching a show with him on Animal Planet called "Viking Wilderness."  One whole part was this long footage of these big bears mating and Dylan said, "Awwwwwww!  Mom, look!  That bear is hugging the baby bear!!!"  Of course I quickly agreed it was "super cute" and then tried to change the subject!!!!

Text

(2014) I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches.  They text Bible verses, etc.  Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad.  Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer."  That cracked me up!!!!  Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!

Crazy

You know you've been raised by a Southern mama when .... your husband rehires the cleaning service to help you around the house and you are frantically cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen so they won't be dirty when the cleaning lady shows up!!! 😂😂😂 As we say around here, "Your crazy is showing .. better tuck it back in!!!"

BOOM

(2013) The little girls in my class have NOT been liking my fall clothes ... they tell me that they are used to my bright summer colors and my fall clothes are all darker colors.  It completely cracked me up when one of them said, "Yes, well, she may be all dark NOW, but BOOM! then come the Christmas sweaters!"  Yes, they know me well!

Jail

(2015) Funny story from today!  Dylan and Lily were playing "cops and robbers" and they had created this fort thing out of blankets, etc, that was supposed to be the "jail."  Apparently, Lily was the criminal who had been apprehended and put in the "jail."  A while later, Dylan crawled in the jail with her and I heard her say really seriously to him, "So ... What are you in for?"  I laughed out loud!!!!

British

Dylan walks through the family room tonight and asks, "Mom, why do all your shows have British people in them?"  Guess I've been watching too much PBS lately!!! :)

Ebola

(2014) I know the disease is not a joke, but Bran just asked me if he'd be able to skip school if he got Ebola. Nice try, Bran ... You ARE going to school tomorrow!

Wings

(2013)
“Got a huge laugh at Dylan's 5th grade parent/teacher conference today!  His teacher was sharing with me a piece he had written about which Native American tribe he would like to have been part of in early America.  Dylan chose the Pawnee because "he wanted to hunt buffalo and use buffalo for his tent and clothes and he really loves eating buffalo wings."  He seriously wrote that and was dead serious!  We were cracking up!!”

Cookout

Anyone up for trying the corndog caramel shake?? 😂😂😂

Ring Pops

Funny conversation in my class today after handing out a small treat that the kids had earned ...
All the kids ... “Thank you, Mrs. Taylor!!! You’re the best!!”
Me: “We’ll it’s because you guys are the best...”
One student after taking a big lick of his Ring Pop and a long, thoughtful pause,”No ... actually you’re really a lot better than us, Mrs. Taylor.”
I completely cracked up!!I’m sure the big Ring Pop candy swayed things in my favor considerably!!!! 😂😂😂

Cold Medicine

You know you've taken too much cold medicine when you're having a hard time following the story lines on The Love Boat .... 😂😂😂

Grown Man

(2010) Was stopped at the grocery store tonight by a GROWN MAN WITH TWO CHILDREN who said, "Mrs. Taylor!  Do you remember me?  You were my 5th grade teacher!"  AAAHHHHH!!!  I obviously was five years old when I was his teacher!!!!

No-No

(2013) I am laughing sooo hard!  There is a commercial on for that hair removal product called the  "No No" and Lily said in all seriousness, "Daddy needs that." She can never understand why the guys have hair on their chests and legs and refers to it as their "fur."  Guess the "No No" would take care of their unfortunate "fur" problems!!! I cannot stop laughing!!

College Boy

(2016) There is one very happy 18 year old college student in Franklin Springs, GA tonight.  I got a call around 9 PM from Bran ..."Mom, we just finished baseball practice and I am starving, but the school cafeteria is closed, no one delivers here, and I have no money."  About 10 minutes later after making a phone call, I sent him a text ... "Go to the Pizza Hut at Franklin Springs Circle.  There is a large pizza and a 2 liter drink waiting for you in your name. It's paid for. Love you, Mom". Took him a half second to text back, "ON MY WAY!!!"  He may be 18, but it still makes this mom's heart happy to take care of her boy.  I don't get that chance too often anymore! ❤️

Skunks

(2018) Of course. I’m being eaten alive by mosquitoes sitting at quite possibly the worst football field in Gwinnett County and the two men next to me are apparently professional exterminators and keep talking about how they can smell skunks all around us in the woods. Living the dream out here ...😂😂😂

Wizard of Oz

(2013) Lily is loving Wizard of Oz!  So far, her favorite is Glenda the Good Witch (the big sparkly dress and wand gave her a big advantage), but she said she does NOT like the "chipmunks" (aka,  the Munchkins).

Bed

(2014) Lily and I were snuggling in the bed together and I said, "Doesn't your bed feel the best when it has these soft, clean sheets on it?"  She put her little arms around my neck and said, "My bed feels the best when you're in it, Mama."  Nothing better than being loved by a little girl.  :)

Research

(2010) Things you hear yourself saying to a 7th grader supposedly doing his homework at the computer .... "Since when can you research biomes on Itunes?"

Sentimental

(2014)
Feeling a bit sentimental and philosophical tonight as I have watched my  kids play with a whole basket of dress up clothes and costumes and laughing themselves silly, coloring pictures of pumpkins with the beloved 64 box of crayons, being outside throwing balls, riding bikes, playing tag, squealing, cheering when it's Macaroni and Cheese for supper ... I know we are told all the time that the kids of today are more "sophisticated" and that we need to prepare them for a whole different world from what we know .. but actually, I think children are the same as they've ever been in all the truly important ways. Yes, the world will be different for them in many ways, but the REAL things in life ... love and family and faith and kindness ... the truly important things of the heart, will always be the same. As for tonight, I'm smiling as I watch my own children tossing away the imposed cares of the grown up world for as long as they can and simply enjoying the carefree days of childhood.

Young

So the lady doing my nails at the Nail Shop says to me, "You have beautiful skin! Don't need makeup!" While I'm still basking in the glow of this generous compliment, she adds, "I bet you very pretty when you were young."  Ummmm ... thanks????  I am desperately hoping something was lost in the translation!! 😂😂😂

Food Pyramid

(2013) I think I need to have a chat with Lily about the food pyramid ... here is the grocery list she made for me today!!  I'm thinking we better get some apples and yogurt instead ... ok, and maybe the brownies!  :)
1.  Puffy Things (aka, Cheese Puffs)
2.  Brownies
3.  Fruit Roll Ups
4.  Cheese Pringles
5.  Cupcakes
6.  Cake
7.  Doughnuts

Hair

(2014) Lily got to choose an item from the dollar store for filling her "teeth brushing" chart for two weeks, so she chose this GORGEOUS fake long hair!  She said, "EVERYONE, except God, will think it's REAL!"

Elliptical

Robert Skeet Taylor, what do you MEAN you think maybe we could get rid of my elliptical machine?!! WHY would you think I’m not using it that much??!! 😂😂😂😂 How DARE you!!!!

Crate

I love that after 28 years of being married to an elementary school teacher, my husband doesn’t even bat an eye at my school crate ... no matter what it looks like for the next day!!

Played

(2018) Laughing out loud! Bran just sent me a picture from his dorm showing me that he had MADE his bed (if you know BT, you know this has NEVER happened before in his lifetime). He then told me he probably deserved a little reward for doing this amazing chore so he could run up to McDonalds for a “late night snack.”  Boy, have I been played! That boy cracks me up!! (And yes, he got McDonalds). 😂😂😂😂

Win

(2016)
Bran ... Concert
Dylan ... Gwinnett County Fair
Lily ... Pool
Me... Pjs on the couch watching Mrs. Marple
I win!!! 😀

Baseball

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! said every baseball mom ever.

Whale

(2013) Social graces aren't always the strong suit of my gifted children.  Case in point, today one of my boys was telling us all about beluga whales and in his attempt to describe them to the class and me, he said, "And they are a little smaller than Mrs. Taylor."  What?!  Anything with "WHALE" in its title shouldn't be SMALLER than me!  Thanks, guys.

Book Report

(2011) Life with 11 year old boys ...We are trying to fill out Dylan's book response form for school which is entailing searching for symbolism and poetic language in The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Wish us luck!!!!

Sleeping Booty

(2010) Dylan is laughing his head off because Lily Claire is playing with her princess dolls and keeps calling Sleeping Beauty "Sleeping Booty."  Oh dear!

Slime

(2018) Lily just proudly showed me some huge blob of slime she made and then I realized she was carrying it around on top of her children's Bible!! What?!!
Me: "SLIME on your Bible, Lil? Really?!
Lily: GASP!!! Oops!!!!
Me: I'm calling Jesus right now to tell on you.
Lily: (running to get it off) Nooooooooo!!! I'm sorry, Jesus!!!!!
😂😂😂😂

Spanish

(2015) My second graders were writing today, and I saw some of the kids making capital letter mistakes, which had been a little mini lesson previously.  I said, "Uh oh!  Be careful everybody. I see some folks putting capital letters where they don't belong, and vice versa."  One of my little ones looked up in surprise and gasped,"Mrs. Taylor!  I didn't know you spoke Spanish!"

Cinderella

(2010) It's a special day for the Taylor girls ... Lily and I are watching Disney's Cinderella for the first time together and Lily is captivated!!  Every time Cinderella comes on the screen, she shouts "What her name, Mama?"

Coolness

(2011) Life with a 13 year old son:  On my way home this evening, I called Bran to remind him to get his homework and chores done.  Typically, Bran never "remembers" to do any of his chores without lots of "reminders." So I say, "Bran, don't forget to take down the trashcans from the curb before football practice."  To which he replies, totally seriously, "I already did it, Mom, because you know ... I'm just cool like that."  Uh huh ... we'll see how long this wave of "coolness" lasts!

Waiting

(2011) Saturday, I made the mistake of shopping early for Lily's Halloween costume online and she ended up picking out a sweet kitty cat costume.  HOWEVER, now she is asking me every day if I can draw whiskers on her face and put on her costume (which, of course, we don't have yet!)  She just came storming into my room huffing and said, "WHEN is Halloween?  I've been waiting and waiting!"  Oh dear.  October is going to be a loooooooooong month!

Wrong

If watching Hallmark channel and eating Little Debbies on the couch in my pajamas is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.😂😂😂

Grooming

I just got an offer from a pet website to send me a 128 page book about grooming my dog at home. What on earth?!!! All I do for Buddy is slop some dog shampoo and water on him in the tub then brush him. Buddy must be missing out on the other 127 pages of grooming! 😂😂🐾🐾

Medicine

This would be why I don’t take cold or allergy medicine before bedtime. Last night I dreamed that we had a pet lion in our backyard that had wandered in from the highway. I was concerned if the lion would get along with Buddy and the big group of gorillas we already had living in the backyard.  I also wasn’t sure if I was feeding the lion enough dog food every day and kept pouring huge mixing bowls full of it outside. We eventually let the lion into our kitchen to drink water out of a huge basin and let it lay on the floor and wander around the house roaring. Our neighbors then rented a petting zoo for one of their kid’s birthday parties and the owners asked if they could have the lion as part of their petting zoo. I agreed because I was worried the dog food for the lion was too expensive,but in the dream I was crying the whole time the lion was being put into a crate to leave with the petting zoo people. I kept telling the petting zoo people to take care of my lion and to remember that he was a boy lion named Joseph, but they wouldn’t listen to me. I kept trying to pet the lion one last time before the truck left. It was soooo bizarre and distressing! DEFINITELY going to stay away from the meds tonight before bed!!! 🦁🦁🦁

Storm

(2018) Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days. Our conversation ...
Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?
Bran: No, I'm staying here.
Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?
Bran: Yeah, I'm ready.
Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?
Bran: I bought a kite ...

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Old Timer

(2015) Lily just said, "Mom, remember in the old, old, old times when everyone had to wear a beard?  Well Daddy must have looked HORRIBLE!"  Sorry Robert Skeet Taylor, but I am cracking up, you old timer, you!!

Fruit Loops

(2013) Dylan was trying to entice Lily to come upstairs to play this morning.  When she wouldn't come, he made a trail of her favorite cereal, Fruit Loops, that went from the family room and up the stairs to her room for her to follow/eat her way upstairs.  It worked!!

16

Driving down some country back roads on my way to Callaway Gardens ... Windows down, sun shining, listening to some old Chicago 17 and 18 ... for a brief while I felt 16 again.

Cheese Straws

You know you’re in the South when the focal point for all spoken directions of the day starts with, “Well first take a right at the cheese straw stand...”  #yellowdaisyfestival #goodtimes

Sealed

(2012) Brandon just asked me how well Obama did in college.  I said nobody knows because his records are sealed.  Bran replied, "I wish MY school records could be sealed."  Cracked me up!!!

Tomatoes and Dogs

Last night I watched an old movie and the men kept referring to all the women as "tomatoes" and "dogs"!!! One guy even told a girl she wasn't as much of a dog as she thought she was, and apparently that was a compliment!  Then, the guy's mom, who had a gray bun, glasses,and knitted in a rocking chair the whole movie, was worried that her son would kick her out of the family home when he got married because she was so old.  She then revealed that she was 50!! What??!!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Homework

Lily was sitting on the couch reading a history article for school about cattle drives.  Out of nowhere, Buddy leaped up and tore off a hunk of the article paper and ate it!! We are in hysterics because we just witnessed a dog ACTUALLY eating homework!!! 😂😂😂

Illegal

Dear Middle School teachers,
Please excuse my daughter if she was extremely sleepy in your classes today. Apparently she stayed up half the night writing an impassioned essay entitled “Why School Should Be Illegal.” 😂😂😂 (true story, folks)

Rainbow

(2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Bob the Blob

So what does one do when a student spills red juice on your classroom floor that won't come off, no matter how much the custodian tried?  You turn it into "Bob the Blob," our new beloved classroom friend!  Hahahahaa!  Like we say in my classroom, "I'm not weird, I'm gifted!" (Ok, maybe I'm a little weird, too! Hahahaaaa!)

BEEP

(2012) Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...
I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).
Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?
Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!
Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.
I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Gray Flannel

I was getting Skeet a new bottle of his cologne that I like called Gray Flannel and this was seriously what it said on the product description ... "Launched by the design house of Geoffrey Beene in 1976, Grey Flannel for Men is recommended for romantic use."  Hahahahaaa!!!  I'll be sure Skeet reads those directions ... I'll be expecting a romantic dinner for two and some roses once he sprays some on!!

Lip

I hate when I go to get my eyebrows done, as I did today, and the lady asks, "Your lip? your lip?" meaning, do I want my upper lip waxed. I always say "no thank you" and then the lady shakes her head and looks at me with shock and despair like she's looking at some huge, shaggy mustache on my face!  It makes me so paranoid!!!  Here's how I think I look and then how the waxing lady makes me THINK I look leaving the shop!!!!

Nick Sabin

(2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?
Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!
Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.
Me: Oh.

Sweet Talk

(2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!

Crisis

(2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Brown

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!

Megatron

Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Accidentally

So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Radio

Jesus take the wheel ... and the radIo station controls PLEASE!!!! Robert Skeet Taylor is blasting hideous 70s music from HIS era all the way up to see Bran in Royston!!! What the heck is The Pinball Wizard and can it please go away FOREVER???!!!!

Prodigy

(2014) Had NO IDEA that I was raising a child prodigy.  I was getting my nails done yesterday and Lily picked out a color that I actually loved, so I decided I'd use it.  In complete seriousness she said, "Well, I AM sort of a genius about nail polish."  WOW!  Didn't realize I had birthed the Albert Einstein of the nail color world!  Good to know!

Rabbit Hole

(2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!

Take a Gun

I am watching a cute movie made in 1968 starring James Garner and Debbie Reynolds. They have a teenage son who wants to bum around Europe all summer and the kid just said, "Dad, I will be fine going by myself because I believe that all around the world love and trust protects us all."  The dad replies, "I've been all around the world ... Take a gun."  Cracked me up!!!  Sounds like a conversation that would happen in my house!!!!!

Cure

Tried and true cure for a long day ... make your hair a little blonder, paint your nails a little pinker, purchase a jumbo sized chocolate truffle DQ Blizzard, bathe yourself in puppy kisses, and watch several cheesy episodes of The Love Boat in your old flannel PJs. Yep, feeling better already. ❤️❤️

Softball

(2011) My 13 year old son and his buddies are suddenly interested in going to watch the 8th grade girls' softball games up at the high school ... hmmmm ... wonder why?!  LOL!

Grammie’s Baby

(2011) Lily tripped and hurt her knee, then very adamantly informed me, "Mama, you have to cuddle Grammie's baby when she's hurt!"  Three guesses WHO "Grammie's baby" is?  Yes, of course, Lily Claire!

Badge

(2014) Lily went to Sunbeams this week and loved BOTH!  She is super excited that she will be working on a Space and Stars badge and a First Aid Badge, among others.  I tried to convince her that there were so really AWESOME lesser known badges, like the Skunk Badge for girls that never took a bath, a Beard Badge for girls who grow a really long beard before camp, a Poison Ivy badge, and a Longest Toenails badge ... but for some reason she wouldn't believe me!!!  (Though she was laughing out loud from the back seat of the car!)

Santa Claus

(2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Lifetime

So I've decided I'm much more of a Hallmark Channel girl than Lifetime.  Lifetime movies always make me feel creepy and are either scary or depressing, though it's supposed to be a channel that most women love!  I'll stick with the somewhat cheesy, sentimental, feel good Hallmark movies any day! Guess I'll go watch "Operation Cupcake" now rather than "My Teenage Babysitter's Secret Life As An Alcoholic Axe Murderer Who Seduced My Husband's Brother Who Has a Chronic Illness."

Skippy

(2012)
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan...  I don't know where he comes up with half the things he does or says ... you just NEVER know what is next.  Today at school, his teachers told me that in all seriousness, he has asked all of them to call him by 'the nickname that his entire family calls him' ... "Skippy."  SKIPPY??  I, nor ANYONE in our entire family, has EVER called Dylan "Skippy"!!!!!!  What on earth?!!  He could have at least chosen something a tad less nerdy!!  :)

Bamboozled

(2014) I think I'm being bamboozled ... Lily crawled in my bed tonight and said, "See how much I love you, Mama, that I want to sleep in here with you, rather than all alone in my own room?"  Of course, after looking at her little face, it worked.

Tattoo

Hilarious teacher moment today ... My skirt today had a slit on the side and one of my 4th grade girls saw the unsightly veins on the side of my calf and said, "COOL TATTOO, MRS. TAYLOR!" Nice.  I am now WAY cooler than I thought I was!  Hahaaaaaaa!!!!

Loaf

Ummm.... Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in his bathroom. Boys crack me up!

Charcoal

After a long week, I decided I looked like I’d been run over by a truck, so I decided I'd indulge in a little self repair, including coloring my hair (NOT that I have any gray to cover or anything), taking a hot shower, and trying out this new charcoal face mask product that's supposed to make your skin really clean and soft. I'm doing my thing upstairs and had been settled into our bedroom recliner chair for about 20 minutes, looking quite lovely I might add, in my old robe, glasses, hair coloring goop, and a super thick layer of black charcoal mask drying on my face that's supposed to gently peel off when ready. Now those of you who know my husband, Skeet, know he is a man of few words. For 28 years he has quietly and patiently put up with all my ideas and antics and shenanigans with school and with the kids, etc, with nothing more than maybe a quiet look of bewilderment or silent resignation. Tonight, however, he walked into our room and took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT is THAT?!!" he asked SUPER loud, looking at my charcoal face. Well, of course, this got me tickled, and when I starting laughing, the whole dried mask cracked and fell off, which I think threw Skeet into further shock!!! So much for trying to have a beauty spa night in peace around HERE!!! 😂😂😂

Cheese Fries

Being the non-sport person that I am, I may not have ever really WATCHED any of the kids’ football or baseball games in the past 15 years, but I’ve been a world champ at eating concession-stand cheese fries. Pretty proud of that long standing commitment to my children.

Gutenburg

I know that Gutenburg's printing press gets the credit most of the time for the best invention of all time,  but I think the guy who invented air conditioning deserves to be sainted or knighted or something! Let's face it, you can't even enjoying reading a book fresh off the printing press when you're roasting hot!!

Glug

Should I be concerned that the toilet downstairs was making a loud "glug, glug, glug" noise and when I went to check it out, foaming bath bubbles were coming out of the bowl????  How and why???!!!

Mountain Men

Watching "Mountain Man" on the History Channel with Skeet ... Completely fascinating,but I think the show should be called "Forever A Single Lonley Mountain Man" since one of them is getting frozen skunks out of traps in his henhouse, another took an all day ride to a junkyard to find screws for his makeshift wood shack house, and another is picking up dead squirrels that "aren't too old" off the road to take home for dinner.  He said eating road kill is a good way not to be wasteful. The Mountain Men are definitely NOT chick magnets!!!

Miffed

(2017) Tonight I was miffed when Dylan came home at supper time with a big bag of hamburgers after I'd made a roast. Halfway through dinner I look over and see that Dylan has put huge hunks of roast on each hamburger and is eating them!!! "See Mom! The roast didn't go to waste!" he proudly informed me. Only a 14 year old boy!!!!! 🙄😂😂

Soda Pop

Sorry friends who are not from the South, but I hate the words  "pop" and "soda" ... Down here we say, "Y'all want a Coke?" And then you ask, "What kind? (Coke, Sprite, Orange, etc) #nixthesodapop

Manly

Which Taylor male subscribed on MY Apple account to the “Manly Pro Body Muscle” app??? Really?! I don’t think an app is the answer here guys.  😂😂😂

Doris

Every single news story I ever hear or read makes me upset.  I am now officially ONLY EVER going to watch Doris Day and Hallmark movies forever for the rest of my life starting today.  If you ever want to discuss current events with me, make sure it is something about Pillow Talk.  That is all.

Happiness and Rainbows

A little girl in my class gave me a hug today in the hallway and said, "Oh Mrs. Taylor!  You smell just like happiness and rainbows." So sweet!

Favorite

(2013) Bran was pressing me to say which of the kids was my favorite Of course, he wanted me to say it was HIM ... instead I said they were ALL my favorite. Then he asked who was my least favorite! I said, "None of you is my least favorite. I like all of you. I have three favorites" Then, in one last attempt to get me to say that HE was my favorite child, he asked, "If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one of us, who would you pick?" Without skipping a beat, I replied, "Daddy." And that, my friends, is the TRUTH ... far, far away from all my "favorites" for a day or two!! Robert Skeet Taylor

Instant Message

Lily and I were heading to the grocery store today and got behind a driver who was going 2 miles an hour and not turning at the signal, etc. Lily and I were getting annoyed and yelling real meanly  at the driver inside our car to “hurry up” and “pay attention.” At that moment we passed at church that had a HUGE sign on its lawn that said,”Love God. Love people.”  From the backseat Lily said, “Oops. I guess God was sending us an instant message. “ 😂😂❤️ We were much nicer to fellow drivers the rest of the trip!!

Belly Button

(2010) Lily Claire calls her "belly button" her BELTY BUCKLE. She cracks me up!

Grammie and Papaw

I was sitting in with Lily and Dylan tonight as they were going to sleep and I mentioned that Grammie and Papaw would be coming over for dinner on Thursday.  Lily said, "Good cause I like Grammie and Papaw."  Then she asked Dylan if he liked Grammie and Papaw.  Dylan replied, "OF COURSE, everybody in our WHOLE family likes Grammie and Papaw ... and I think everybody in the world likes them, too."  I had to agree!

Love Germs

Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"

Snow Cone

I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Bus

Tales from Middle School ...

Lily came home today and said,”Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is our bus driver said he would play music on the bus!”

Me: “Cool! What’s the bad news?”

Lily: “It was Kidz Bop.”😑

Apparently they were all back in their earbuds pretty quickly. 😂😂😂

14

(2017) Lord give me strength some days to survive living with a 14 year old again ... I'm getting too old for this!!! Parenting isn't for the weak. (Of course, after a bunch of drama and arguing and yelling about cleaning his room, he slinks into my bedroom to apologize, hug me, and snuggle up with  Lily to watch TV ... and melts my heart again.)

Hot Dogs

(2011) While having our gourmet dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese tonight, Lily informed us all that they weren't "hot dogs", they were "warm dogs."  :)

Browning

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.
Grammie:  A brownie sticker?
Brandon:  No, BROWNING.
Grammie:  What is Browning?
Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.
Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)
Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)
Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!
Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.
Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!
Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Heaven

(2012) I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Melted

We took Bran to a Japanese restaurant last weekend and it reminded me of a hilarious story. When Dyl was about four, he was terrified of the big fire at the hibachi grill at our local Japanese restaurant. While the cook was preparing the grill, Dylan was happily playing with this super cheap, large plastic tiger we’d gotten at the Dollar Store. When the big fire ensued, Dyl was cringing and obviously really frightened so the cook guy was trying to reassure him and make him feel better.  To be funny, he took Dylan’s tiger and waved it through the flames saying that the fire was not scary and wouldn’t hurt him. We were all laughing and smiling during this display UNTIL he handed the big plastic tiger back to Dyl and the whole face had melted off in the flames!!! You should have seen the look on Dylan’s face!! 😂😂😂 I still laugh out LOUD remembering how shocked we all were, including the chef guy,  at the melted tiger blob he pulled from the flames! We bring it up EVERY TIME we eat Japanese food, and crack up every time!!!

Robbers

(2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Lobster

I was at the dollar store this evening picking up a few items for my class. A man in the store was literally yelling at the top of his lungs to his wife across the store,”THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! “ As if that wasn’t weird enough, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what the dollar store was passing off as “lobster” in those frozen one dollar packs of egg rolls! Sounds like a food poisoning fiasco waiting to happen… 🤢  Pretty sure eating the glue sticks I was purchasing would’ve been a safer bet than ingesting those hideous eggrolls! 😂😂😂 #lobsterimposter 🦞

Summer Reading

(2015) Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Whiskey

(2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Relish

Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!
🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Lucky

I am one lucky gal to come home EVERY evening after all these years and be COMPLETELY idolized and adored and smothered with undying love and kisses; to have a best friend who NEVER leaves my side, loves and appreciates everything I cook for dinner (even if it’s reheated McDonald’s chicken nuggets from lunch), hangs on my every word, AND watches Hallmark movies with me without EVER complaining or changing the channel to ESPN ... yes, indeed, you are the BEST puppy ever, Buddy Taylor!! (What? You thought I was talking about someone else???Robert Skeet Taylor 😂😂😂)

Princess

(2010) Lily Claire went to her preschool today while I worked in my room at school.  A mom came in to help in Lily's class and when she asked Lily her name, Lily answered, "My name is Princess ..."  :)  Oh dear!

Run

(2012) Recieving the "mother of the year" award again today (hope you note the sarcasm there)!!!  Went to a different Walmart than our usual one and proceeded to march Lily Claire straight into the MEN'S RESTROOM!  It was on the left where the WOMEN'S restroom is at OUR Walmart and did I read the sign? Of course not!!!  Lily Claire stopped in her tracks and stared at the urinal and asked, "What do we do?"  "RUN!!!!!"  I said.  Thank the LORD there was no one in there or we both would have been scarred for life, I'm sure!!!  😂😂😂

California

My first words in California in the place where we are having lunch, "Do y'all have sweet tea?" Hahaaaa!  You can take the girl out of the South ....

Music

Lily confirmed today that I am successfully raising her to be a true "girl raised in the South."  She came into my room today and said, "Mom, put on some awesome music on your Ipod!"  "Like what?" I asked.  "Like country!" she said.  Did my heart good!

God

(2012) Lily Claire asked me if God could hear us.  I said, 'Yes, God always hears us and watches after us and takes care of us and loves us!"  Lily replied, "No He doesn't ... that's what MOMS do!"  :)

Airport

Robert Skeet Taylor and I have a joke because no matter where we travel, I ALWAYS get picked to get the extra airport security scans. ALWAYS. I must be very suspicious looking!!  Hahahaaaa!  Anyway, today, OF COURSE I got chosen for a "chemical wand" scan on my palms, waist, and shoes.  That's me ... Always covered head to toe with bomb residue!  And I ALWAYS make my bombs wearing lime green cardigan sweaters and rhinestone covered flip flops!  Hahahaha!  Really???  :)

Genius

I am a genius!!!  Skeet is out of town and I single-handedly fixed the disposal by myself!!! (Of course I just had to push a reset button ...)

Tall

Four teenage boys spent the night over here last night ... great kids, love them like my own ... but it sure is harder to find a place for everyone to sleep in our small house when all the guests are over six feet tall!!!!

DVR

Ummmm... WHO in my house DVR'd the Hooters International Beauty Pageant?!!!!  ....  Brandon?!! Dylan?!!

Drive

(2014) Yep. Bran's my son. He likes to drive barefoot, windows down, country music playing.

Bible Humor

(2015) A few weeks ago in "Mom's VBS," we learned about Joseph.  Lily and I happened to get this drink at the store last week and we said instead of Joseph's Coat, we got Joseph's Coke!  Hahaaaa!  A little Bible humor there for ya!

Twinge

(2017) It's funny how certain things you don't expect can give you that twinge of sadness as a mom.  Today I picked up Bran's records from the pediatricians office to take to our regular family doctor. (At 19, he didn't relish going to the pediatricians office anymore in the Pooh Bear rooms! Go figure?! Hahahaa!)  It was a huge envelope of every appointment he'd had since his first visit at one week old.  I know it's crazy, but it made me get all teary-eyed on the way home.  It's hard to believe the years have passed so quickly.  How did he grow up that fast?  Just made me a little sad. I still remember those first visits like it was yesterday. It goes by in a blink of an eye.  Everyone TELLS you that, but when you're in the thick of it,you don't believe it.  But, believe me, it truly does.

Boys

(2011) The boys were gone all week and they joined us today up in the mountains.  After about ten minutes of their loud wrestling and goofing around and shouting, Lily Claire ran up to me and asked "Mommy, can we put the boys away now?"

High Heels

(2012) Lily Claire is a definitely her mother's daughter (as if we didn't already know that!).  She was clomping around the house in these pink, plastic Cinderella high heel shoes and said,"Mom, these shoes really hurt!"  "Take them off," I said.  She looked shocked and said, "No!  They are cute high heels!"  Guess we all must suffer for beauty!

Fixation

You know your OCD fixation with vacuuming is out of control when your daughter is lying in bed at night going to sleep and says,"I don't like sleepovers at night because I miss the sound of your voice and the Roomba running." 😂😂

Citizen’s Arrest

(2014) We bought a special promo cup for Brandon at RaceTrac that you can refill through August 1st for free every time you are there.  Today he drove past there and went in to fill his cup and leave.  Some older man (another customer) chased him out of the store screaming, "Hey!  Hey!  You didn't pay for that drink!!!  Come back and pay!!!"  Bran turned around and said, "It's a promo cup you can refill for free."  The guy said, "Oh." and went back in the store.  Guess it was a Mango Slushie Citizen's Arrest of some sort!  Sheesh!

Racing

Got tickled today at Walmart observing a teenage worker who was moving so slowly that I was concerned if she even had a pulse!  When we encountered her again in the store, I noticed her t-shirt said "Rushing Toward Success." It's going to be a long, long journey at that pace!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Snake

Not so good surprise under the recycle bin outside this morning!  Has one yellow stripe below its head. What kind is it?  I can never remember all the helpful rhymes to know if it's a bad snake .. With my luck It's probably "yellow stripe on its head will kill you dead" or "Find under a recycle taker and you'll meet your Maker" or something else ominous!!

Fried Rice

(2015) We ordered shrimp fried rice for supper tonight and I told Lily that she had to eat the rice, not just the shrimp (as she usually does).  When I came to get her plate later, the shrimp was gone, and here's what she had done with the rice!  She is soooo my child!!!

Faulty

(2013) The faulty brain waves of sixteen year old boys, as evidenced by my conversation with Bran in the truck tonight ...
Me:  We're going to have a Fourth of July party at our house.
Bran:  When?

Beef Jerky

(2013) Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Dad

One of life's simple pleasures. ... Calling my dad late each evening just to chat, talk about the weather or what we had for supper, check in on Mom, and laugh about a bunch of goofy stuff!  One of the best parts of my day. ❤️

Grandma

We were at Chili’s tonight and the young waitress looked at Skeet and said, “Here’s your ribs, sir.” Then she looked at Lily and said, “And here’s your chicken pasta.” Then she put my plate in front of me and sweetly said, “And here’s fajitas for grandma.”  What?! Seriously? #thisreallyhappened #NOtip

Abba and Denise

(2013) Lily asked me tonight if we could watch the Beginner's Bible video about "Abba and Denise."  Yes, that would be Adam and Eve.

Theology

(2014) A little theology with Lily on the ride home today ... her questions ...
Does God ever spill anything?
If God gets thirsty and has to go get a drink, is He still watching you?
Are there roller skates in heaven?
Does Jesus eat steak?

Hmmmm ... good questions!  I think my answers were no, yes, yes, and yes.  I mean, is it really heaven without steak and roller skaters??  I think not!

Barter

I am cracking up at the brother-sister barter system going on in the Taylor house! Dylan just offered Lily $3 to make him 4 grilled cheese sandwiches. Lily raised it to $4 and a deal was struck! 😂😂😂 (The only thing Lily failed to tell Dylan was that Buddy accidentally licked all his sandwiches before she delivered them… She was afraid he wouldn’t pay the full price if he knew!) 😂😂😂

Scorpio

Watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and when they were interviewing a "groom to be" about how he met is future bride, he said that they were perfect for each other because "they were both Scorpios and their tails were so easily intertwining."  Um ... Okay.

Storm

Sweet conversation with Lily in the car the other night ... she was a little worried about the thunderstorm warning that kept coming up on the radio.  After a while she said to me, "You know what's a good thing about being a Christian? When you are scared you can say a prayer to God and He will help you not be scared and always be with you."  Exactly right, sweet girl.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

Radio

Had to keep myself from cracking up today at the Sprint store!  The young girl helping me fix a problem with my phone kept singing to the music that was playing on the radio in the store ... which would have been fine, except she was seriously singing three octaves higher than the melody AND on a completely different note!!!!

Green Stamps

Oh my goodness!  Watching an old film clip on TCM and this lady is buying a new toaster with her books of green stamps!  I totally remember my grandma collecting those!  Does anyone else remember that?

Bitmoji

Lily was choosing an outfit for her Bitmoji and chose one that was tight jeans with a crop top. She showed it to me, then said,”No, I better change that. Grammie wouldn’t approve.”  😂😂😂

Headache

(2012) Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Tiny

Family, take note. I had a dental cleaning today and the hygienist said, and I quote, "You have a teeny, tiny mouth."  Quite the opposite of what I've been hearing for all these years! 😂😂😂

Beards

(2012) After Bran's baseball game tonight, he told me he thought that the other team was a Varsity team.  I asked, "Why do you think so?"  and he said, "Well, because two of the players had full grown beards!"  Yup, we've never played against bearded kids before!  Cracked me up!!!!

Moose

(2013) Lily Claire asked me tonight if I remembered the time when she was three and we all rode on a moose in the hay on Christmas.  ..... um ...  no memory of THAT whatsoever!!!!  ?????

Pioneer

I was trimming some big tree branches today and started contemplating all the strenuous jobs I've completed in the yard this summer BY MYSELF in the blazing heat... chopping down several small trees, pruning all the giant bushes in our backyard (at least 50 or more), cutting back 15 or more prickly overgrown ugly bushes in our side yard by hand, using a chain saw to cut back 35 foot crepe myrtles then chop them up, hauling dead trees away, planting and transplanting dozens of bushes, tackling the poison ivy in our woods, cranking the gas blower BY MYSELF (after only about 300 yanks on that stupid pull cord ...who's dumb idea was that?) ... the impressive list just goes on and on.  I realized that indeed, I COULD have survived back in the day as a pioneer.  ... a grouchy, irritable, bitter pioneer, but a pioneer no less.

Ritual

(2017) Some traditions never die no matter how old you get ... pjs, the inflatable mattress, and Spongebob episodes at midnight. Still an honored Taylor summertime ritual!

Ditch

Why, yes, I did have to park on a big, soggy grass hill for the swim meet this morning, and YES, my car did get COMPLETELY stuck in a MUD DITCH on the way out!!!! I literally could not go forward or backward and mud was flying everywhere!!! It looked like I was trying to be some sad version of the Dukes of Hazzard! Thankfully, Brandon Taylor came to my rescue and had to PULL me out with a big rope hooked on to the Jeep Wrangler, with me in my car trying to move the wheels, while he shouted directions! Good grief! Never a dull moment with the Taylors, folks!

Haute Cuisine

Well, the boys have opened my eyes to a whole new world of haute cuisine tonight!  Who knew that Taco Bell had tacos with nacho cheese or cool ranch Dorito shells?  They must be good with as much as the boys begged me to go get them some!

Milkshake

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  Brandon apparently doesn't know his own strength!  We drove through Sonic for him to get a milkshake and when the lady handed it to him out the window he accidentally crushed the entire cup and the shake went all over his arm and hand!  I am STILL laughing!!!!!!!!!!

Bidocals

Well everyone .... It has begun. My descent into the golden years.  After a visit to the eye doctor today, I am the proud new owner of ....BIFOCALS!!! What???!!!!!  How did this happen??  Well, at least my new lenses have NO lines and my new frames have lots of sparkly rhinestones!  May as well "bling out" those golden years as much as possible and enjoy the ride!

Hershey Bar

Remember that I mentioned that it is 102 degrees here in Myrtle Beach?  I just discovered that Lily left a half eaten Hershey bar in the back seat of my car two days ago ....

Fireflies

Wow! My backyard is twinkling and shimmering with oodles of fireflies! #southernsummernight

Date

(2014) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck?
Me:  Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..
Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...
Me again: and ..
Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Weird

Robert Skeet Taylor and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Stuck

(2012) After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!).  Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!!  I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice.  I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?"  GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!

Xbox

(2012) Mark this day down in family history ... Bran is letting Lily lay in his room with him AND use his Xbox to watch a Dora the Explorer Goes to the Beach movie!

Big Brother Babysitter

(2014) Bran was a smashing success as a babysitter for Lily tonight!  They watched Spongebob, ate fettuccine noodles that Bran made, and caught lightning bugs in a jar.  Lily had a blast!  Good job Bran!

Conversations

(2014) Conversations with Lily are always interesting!  A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!!  A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"

Epic

(2014) Eleven year old boys crack me up!  Dyl has three neighborhood friends over for an impromptu sleep over and they are playing video games, playing with old plastic wrestlers from eBay, and eating hamburger helper on paper plates.  I just heard one of the boys say, "This sleepover is EPIC!  The best one EVER!"  AND, apparently, my trash can lid that opens and closes by itself is "SICK" ... which is a HUGE compliment in "boy world!"  Please don't be jealous, other moms, of how awesome I am.  Hahahaaaaa!!!

Summertime

(2018) Five fifteen year old boys + four pizzas + ten Gatorades + one basketball = summertime at the Taylor house ❤️🙂☀️🍕🏀

Babysitting

(2014) Bran is babysitting LIly for me tonight for the first time while I go with Skeet to a business dinner.  When we were in the car, I told him, "Bran, you'll get paid $5 an hour for babysitting tonight." From the backseat Lily said, "So Bran has to pay me $5 to babysit me?"  Not quite, Lily!!  :)

Teenagers

During the summer months, a lot of teenagers are working at the stores and fast food restaurants, which can sometimes lead to some pretty funny experiences. (To get the full effect here, you have to make the teenager voice below sound like a sort-of clueless surfer dude ...) ANYWAY, the other day, Papaw drove through Sonic to get a large strawberry limeade drink, and after he ordered, the teenage worker piped through the speaker asking, "So ... would you like ketchup and mustard with that, sir?"  Ummm .. no thanks.  Trying to cut back on the ketchup on my limeades these days.   THEN, Bran and I drove through Sonic a few days later and ordered a "vanilla ice cream with hot fudge."  The teenager voice came back through the speaker, "So ... like ... that will be one diet coke with hot fudge?"  Ummm ... no.  We don't usually get hot fudge ON our diet coke.  We were CRACKING up!  Keep up the good work, teenagers!  Feeling real confident about ALL of our futures with you guys next up to run the world.  :)

Future

(2012) Lily Claire informed me today that she is going to grow up and be a "gorgeous fairy", have a wedding, and have a little baby named Pinky Flower.  She's got her future all mapped out apparently!

Jingle Bells

(2014) Fellow moms out there will know that, every now and then, those "teachable moments" crop up when we can impart some sort of "life lesson" or "wisdom of the ages" to our children.   Case in point, the other day, Dylan and I were in a store, and he had to wait outside of the ladies room for me.  I told him to stay right by the cart and keep a careful eye on my wallet and keys while I dashed in and out. When I came out of the restroom, he had done just fine and had been sitting there, diligently holding my wallet in his hands.

As I was saying, "Good job" it dawned on me that I also needed to impart one more bit of motherly advice in this moment.  So I added, "Now you know, Dylan, if someone had come by and tried to take that wallet from you, I would want you to just give it to the guy so you would be safe.  I'd rather you be safe than worry about my wallet.  Anything in the wallet can be replaced, but you are irreplaceable."

Looking confused, Dylan responded, "So I should just GIVE the guy the wallet if he tries to steal it from me?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that my impromptu life lesson was obviously a smashing success.

"That's not what Daddy said to do,"  Dylan replied.

My heart warmed in that moment as I realized that Robert Skeet Taylor, too, had taken it upon himself to pass along some fatherly advice to Dylan about this very thing.  "Good job, Daddy," I smiled and thought to myself as I waited for Dylan to elaborate with some timeless nugget of fatherly wisdom.

"No," Dylan continued cheerfully, "Daddy said that if someone ever tried to steal something from me, I should kick the guy in the jingle bells and run like crazy."

Long silence (by me, as I am now speechless) ......  as I stare at a proud, grinning Dylan.

You know, somehow I just don't recall any such father/son wisdom between Andy and Opie or Ward Cleaver and the Beaver, or even one single "jingle bells" episode of  "Father Knows Best"...  I mean, imagine that!  Leave it to the sheer eloquence of the Taylor men of MY household.  Skeet Taylor ... REALLY?!!!  :)

The Highlife

(2013) Bran just informed me that he "has it made" tonight ... he's laying in his bed watching the MLB channel on TV, he's got ESPN showing on the IPad, and he has a glass of sweet tea. He's living the 15 year old boy version of "the highlife" apparently!!

Summer

You know it’s summer when your Walmart cart contains Scrabble, bubbles, water balloons, popsicles, and Cheese Puffs! 😂😂😂

Dollar Store

I have been crowned “mother of the year” yet again! Today I was at the Dollar Store loading up my cart with snacks for my kids to munch on at the pool. I headed over to the pet aisle and was about to put some doggy treats into my cart for Buddy. I stopped myself thinking, “Ewww, no. I don’t want Buddy to eat anything from the cheap Dollar Store! It might be gross or make him sick!” Then, without hesitation, I proceeded to the checkout to buy all the snacks for my OWN CHILDREN to eat ... from the cheap Dollar Store!! 😂😂😂 Sorry, kids ... I guess Buddy lives a little more high on the hog than you three!! 😂😂😂😂 #bestmomever
#buddyisthefavorite

Tank Top

Well there's no accounting for taste, apparently!  I graciously offered to get this stunning tank top at Walmart for Dyl and he turned me down, IF you can believe that!  His loss! Hahaaaaa!!

Crayons

(2011) Lily is definitely my child ... she is sitting beside me playing with her crayons but she has them all lined up in a row and has named all of them.  They are apparently a crayon family and they are all talking to each other.  Sophie, the pink crayon, is especially talkative and is telling all the other crayons what to do!  I am cracking up!

Boys

Why do boys think that going swimming means they have had their bath for the day?!

Hoarders

WHY did I just watch the most disgusting, horrible episode of Hoarders while I was doing laundry?  What was I thinking?! Why would a person "hoard" cats?!  I am scarred FOREVER.  I will stick with Love Boat from now on!!!!

Flipper

(2015) Dyl is such a good big brother.  He's been having to pretend to be Lily's pet dolphin, Flipper, for the past hour in the pool and then play Uno with her at adult swim!

Southern Girl

(2013) I am definitely raising a Southern girl!  I just asked Lily Claire what she wanted for a snack and she answered, "Yo-Grits", which is what she thought was the name for "yogurt."  Love it!

Bloated

(2013) Dylan and Lily are going to watch a Lego Batman movie and they want me to get out the air mattress for them to lay on while they watch.  Lil just came running into my room and said, "Mom!  We need to get the air mattress all bloated up!"

Sweating

(2014) Had a lunch date with the kids after the puppet show this morning!  They wanted to go to McDonalds so they could also play on the playground.  When we first got there, I told them to go play, but within a few seconds Lily had come back to the table. In an APPALLED voice she told me, "I do NOT want to play in there right now because there is a kid in there who is SWEATING!"  Well, heaven forbid.  Once the offensive "sweat-er" left, she decided she'd go on in and play!  Good grief!!  After that, she and Dyl had a good time in the playground pretending to be a magic princess and a mean bear on the prowl ... all I know is there was a lot of squealing and running and growling going on in there!  Sure hope there was no SWEATING going on!

Cool Dad

This dude at the pool keeps yelling at his middle school daughter to be careful on her pool float so she doesn’t knock into other people, but instead of yelling “be careful” he keeps screaming “be situationally aware.” Ummmm ... ok. 😂😂😂. #cooldadaward

Woman Code

Ok, really?!  We went out for lunch today and a lady stopped to admire some jewelry I was wearing.  As I am about to say "thank you" for her nice compliment, Skeet Taylor shouts out, "It's not real."  Seriously???   Woman code 101 has just been seriously breeched. Why don't you go ahead and tell the whole place that I have fake highlights in my hair from a drugstore box and my glowing complexion comes from a tube and that it's not my real figure because I have on a tummy control shaper under my dress?!  Any man in his right mind should know you DO NOT spill the time honored "woman" secrets!  Honestly.  Men are from another planet. 😂😂👽

Job

(2011) Another Dylan moment ... I was laying in his bed with him before he fell asleep and he asked, "Mom, when you grow up do you have to have a job?"  Of course, I said, "Yes, if you want to have a house and food!"  Dylan thought a moment then said, "Yea, and if you don't have a job you'd be drunk all the time and have a fat stomach."  WHERE does he get this stuff?!  He cracks me up!

Termites

So the termite exterminators come at the crack of dawn this morning (the yearly check, we don't actually have termites) ... I thought they would just spray some stuff and leave us our letter.  Of course not!  The man gives me a long speech about the option to have them drill into the basement floor and into all the outside bricks and the front porch with their jack hammer and how "it might look bad at first but it'll settle down after a while."  Oh yeah and also the holes could cause some "flooding problems. Do I want him to do that?"  Um ... NO!!!  What on earth? Just squirt some spray, mister!!!!

Burning

Seriously considering burning all the dirty laundry in a bonfire in the backyard rathering than doing it all today!  No one would notice a twenty foot burning pile of cloth in my backyard, would they?!!!