Chew Toy

A typical Skeet/Jen conversation last night, this time about Buddy…

Skeet, disgustedly looking at a new chew toy that Buddy has already destroyed: Look at this! Buddy has already torn this thing to shreds!!!
Jen: You’re mad that he chew up a chew toy? Think of all the fun he had tonight playing with it!
Skeet: That is a huge waste of money!
Jen: Is it a huge waste of money when you chew up a cookie?
Skeet: (Silent resignation) Buddy continues happily chewing.
😂😂😂🐶🐶🐶❤️❤️❤️
Bless this poor man who has put up with me, three children, and two dogs for 28 years!

Not Guilty

(2011) I walked into the kitchen this evening to find that Lily had drawn a big flower right on the refridgerator with a purple marker!!!! Thankfully I only buy washable markers! When I said, "Lily Claire, Don't draw on Mommy's refridgerator with marker!" Liily answered sincerely, "I didn't do it, Mommy ... the marker did it." Reminded me of a time Dylan drew all over my CAR with a black Sharpie pen and then told me that a bunch of ants had drawn it! Uh huh. :) Three year olds!

Birthday

(2012) Lily just told me, "Mom, you can come to my birthday party because you're my best friend."  Sniff. Sniff.  Love that little girl!

Obscure

(2012) Bran wasn't sure if I could help him with his Language Arts homework last night because it was about some obscure, little known book called "To Kill A Mockingbird" ... had I ever heard of it?  Ummm ... yes, Bran.  I've heard of that "new" book.

Big Time

(2013) Bran thinks he has hit the BIG TIME being on his highschool baseball team.  Why?  Because he gets FREE sweet tea AND lemonade at practices and games!  WHOA!!!!  Who needs the major leagues with these kinds of perks?!!  You gotta love 14 year old boys!

Papaw

(2012) Today Lily and I were driving to Dylan's scrimmage game and Lily asked, "Mom, how do you know how to get to the park?" I told her, "Because I've driven there a lot of times." She thought a minute and replied, "Yeah ... but Papaw  knows how to go EVERYWHERE like the beach and Barrel Cracker!" Yes indeed, Papaw takes us to all the BEST places!

Hank

While riding with Bran in his truck today, he turned to me and said, "Hank Williams Jr. A Country Boy Can Survive.  Best. Song. EVER."  Yup.  He's from around here.

Ordeal

Those who know me will attest to the fact that I'm adventurous and will try just about anything once (exempting anything illegal  or immoral! ).  However, I am NOT AT ALL adventurous when it comes to food, especially any kind of weird meat.  I can't stand those TV shows where they go to some foreign place and eat a lot of "local delicacies."  I get nauseous within the first five minutes. SOOOO, considering that, I made the ABSOLUTE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE tonight when I stopped in a food store near my house in the name of expediency that I've never been to before  (store name withheld so I don't hurt anyone's feelings). Y'all .... I should have trusted my instincts when my stomach lurched the moment  we walked In the door. The smells and atmosphere were horrendous, and I didn't recognize even one brand name or food item I'd ever seen before in my life.  As I intrepidly headed toward the meat section to find some simple meatloaf Ingredients, I kept getting queasier and queasier.  I was desperately scanning for ANY  meat I could even identify!  I am not kidding when I say that there were packages of huge wrapped hooves that looked like they were from a big cow or buffalo or something, and big slabs of grayish looking meat wrapped in strings that made my stomach churn. The capper was when I peered down into a refrigerated bin and staring back at me were about six frozen WHOLE lambs heads still with frozen fuzzy wool on them, wrapped in some yellowish cling wrap!  I seriously had to grab Lily's hand and run out of the store before I was completely ILL.  What a nightmare!!  What on earth possessed me to go into a sketchy meat shop to begin with?!  I got OUT OF THERE as fast as I could. Remind me next time to PLEASE take the extra turn into Kroger where I can rest assured that some big frozen animal face won't be greeting me from the meat counter and we won't have to stir-fry giant horse hooves for dinner. I am scarred for life, and Skeet Taylor can't quit laughing at my horrible ordeal!

Shoes

(2014) I have to share my "Mother of the Year" story from this week. I have been crowned once again.   I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet  So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Yes, once again, I am Mother of the Year!  What can you do but laugh?!

Crossfit

I'm pretty sure I just completed an entire CrossFit routine trying to get on my black tights to wear with my dress tonight. I'm exhausted now.

Coyote

We got a message from our HOA that a coyote was spotted walking around our neighborhood!  Yikes!  Guess the Roadrunner will be the next to move in!

Fluff

Oops ... I had set up to record some shows on a retro channel and accidentally recorded 69 episodes of Love American Style!! Hahaaaa!  I've actually enjoyed watching a few of them tonight ... pure fluff is right up my alley!

Mean

(2013) As we were all getting ready for bed tonight, we were talking about all of our Valentines and cupcakes and chocolate and fun from the day.  Dylan asked Skeet,"So how was YOUR Valentine party at work?"  Skeet said, "We didn't have one."  Dylan said, "WHAT?  What did you do all day?"  Skeet replied, "Work."  Dylan angrily replied, "That is MEAN!  I am NEVER working there!"

Peppermint

I made the HUGE mistake of putting Peppermint scented lotion on my feet tonight before bed! Buddy has been licking my feet nonstop and there’s no escape!! It’s tickling me to death and would be super annoying if it weren’t so darn funny!!  #puppyproblems

Freshen Up

(2011) Me:  Lily, let's go upstairs and freshen up before we go to Bran's basketball game.
Lily:  Ok, Mama ... let's freshen down, too!

Pink Chicken

(2012) Lily Claire has been sick this week so as we were snuggling in her bed and she asked me to tell her a story.  When I asked what story she wanted, she replied, "The Pink Chicken Who Has To Do Everything."  Finally figured out she meant "The Little Red Hen"!  I'm feeling a bit like that pink chicken myself these days!

Heartache

(2014) Poor Dyl .. he was so excited that his basketball team was in the playoffs for the championship game, and when they lost tonight, he was SO crushed.  Fortunately, being an eleven year old boy, he was feeling better after a warm bath, an episode of Spongebob, and a surprise run to McDonalds before bedtime by good old Mom for chicken nuggets and a root beer.  Wish I could keep him this age forever and all his heartaches would be that easy to mend.  Sure love that kid.

Compliment

(2014) I received the HIGHEST compliment possible from a nine year old boy last night.  Before going to bed, Dylan hugged me and said, "Mom, I love you more than baseball."  WHOA!  That's huge!

Acne

My funny school story for today… I was giving the kids their spelling test at the end of the day and I didn’t have on my reading glasses. I was very surprised when the next spelling word on the list was “acne.” That seemed to be a little weird on a third grade spelling list. When I read the sentence that was printed with the word, it got even weirder. Reading directly from the spelling sheet paper, I reluctantly said, “OK, the next word is ‘acne’ and the sentence is ‘The older I get the more my body is full of acne,’ said grandpa.”
I then stopped again and looked up at the kids and said, “Wow, that’s a really gross sentence for our spelling test! What on earth?!”
By this point the kids were dying laughing! “No!!” they all shouted, “Mrs. Taylor, the word isn’t “acne”, it’s “ache”!! Then I started dying laughing! The sentence was supposed to say that grandpa had aches all over his body, not acne!!! 😂😂😂 Guess next time I’ll take an extra moment to find my reading glasses BEFORE giving the spelling test!!! #Neveradullmoment

Laughs

(2014) It's about two minutes before bedtime and Lily asks me if she could tell me just one more quick thing before bed.
"Sure," I said sleepily. "What is it?"
"Will you listen to my top 100 laughs and tell me which is the best one?"
Ummm ... no, Lil. Let's save that for your next spend the night with Grammie!!  Hahaaaaa!!

Frankly My Dear ...

(2014) I have TOTALLY failed as a good Southern mother.
I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature).  At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color."  I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."
Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"
After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"
"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right?  It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something?  Right?"
Oh. my. lord.
"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."
Bran, "Never heard of it."
WHERE did I go wrong?!  I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it.  All.four.hours.

Quiet Time

(2013) This evening I kept nicely telling Lily that I needed some "quiet time" (since she talks to me nonstop 24 hours a day)!  After about five minutes of quiet, she informed me that now SHE needed some "loud time."  Sigh.