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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

DMV

(2017) So, friends ... the story I'm about to relay is not an episode of Punk'd.  It actually happened to me this weekend. What is the setting of said story, you may ask? Yes, the DMV (DDS, whatever).  Genre: the stuff nightmares are made of. I arrived at the DMV around noon on Friday since we had a day off. I was given the number B392.  The number they called as I sat down?  331. At 1:30 they call B392.  I rush to the window with all my paperwork ... my birth certificate, my W2, my bank statement, my pay stub, my old license. The gentleman asks, "Where's your marriage license?"
Huh?
"I did not bring my marriage license since I brought all the other options listed on your site."
The gentleman, "Ma'am, you've had a name change."
"No, I haven't had a name change in 26 years.  My old license, my W2, my pay stub, and my bank statement all reflect my name from the last 26 years ... Klaas-Taylor."
The gentleman, "Sorry.  Your birth certificate doesn't say Taylor."
SUPER long pause from me, trying to process this logic.
Me thinking, "Is this some sort of weird joke? Why would my birth certificate have my married name on it? Yes, I was a child bride, but I wasn't born married! My last license from the DMV HAS my married name on it and my photo!"
The gentleman, "Sorry ... but since your birth certificate only says Klaas and not Taylor, you will have to come back with your marriage license in order to renew so we know it's you."
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!  So, yes, I had to drive home, make a copy of my marriage license and return in order to renew since my "recent" name change of 26 years ago wasn't on my birth certificate. Would Skeet have had to bring our marriage license to renew? NO! I left the DMV at 4:00 with a renewed license, and apparently, a newly changed name. Exactly how I dreamed of spending four hours of my special day off from school!
Only the government.

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