Bitter

(2014) REALLY?!  I arrange a RARE free Saturday night with all the kids taken care of so I can surprise Robert Taylor  with a date ... I can't even remember our last date night!  I'm thinking dinner ... a movie ...a stroll around B&N ... ice cream ... Now he reminded me that he will be out of town Saturday night, taking Bran to a baseball showcase in Tennessee.  I am bummed.  And to top it off, after 24 years with one guy, I really have no other prospects to be my date on Saturday night!!  Sheesh. Guess I'll stay home and wash my hair and be very bitter! :)

Discount Tires

(2016) Today I had to take my car to Discount Tires to get a tire replaced that had a nail in it.  (Me + Discount Tires is already the beginning of a horror story in my book.)  At any rate, though the guy helping me was super nice, I just wanted to get in and out of there with a fast quote on how much it would cost to order my new tire so Robert Skeet Taylor could go get it later.  Unfortunately, Enthusiastic Tire Guy had different plans.  He proceeded to teach me everything I never wanted to know about tires and tire pressure.  He showed me a whole bunch of stickers on the inside of my car door that I didn't care about, he told me all sorts of numbers for correct air pressure in my tires, he showed me a bunch of charts about green, yellow, and red tire tread zones, and then he talked for over thirty minutes about the Georgia Bulldogs and their football season.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there are any TWO things in the WORLD that I have NO interest in AT ALL, it's CAR PARTS AND SPORTS TEAMS. Though I smiled and said "cool" to this barrage of "fun facts," I began secretly wishing I had nails in my ears instead of my tire!  For that hideous hour, I truly thought the Ascension had happened and I had not been chosen, because I'm pretty sure I got a glimpse of HELL today at Discount Tires. 😂😂

Dress

(2010) I have a sweet hubby ... You know I've been searching for a formal dress this week and I was bemoaning the fact that I'd tried on a dress I had ordered and it looked HORRIBLE when I actually put it on.  I texted Skeet dramatically, "UG! My new dress looks super horrible on me and now I hate myself!!!"  He instantly texted back, "Must be something wrong with the dress."  Made my day!

Fathers

(2016) A father's love ... Bran called home around 8 PM and said,"Mom, I'm as sick as I can ever remember. My head and chest and eyes are hurting so bad and I can't stop coughing."  My next words, "Come home. You need to sleep and go to the doctor in the morning."  Bran replied miserably, "I don't think I can drive home feeling this bad, and I don't have any cough medicine left. What should I do, Mom?"  Without batting an eye, Skeet said, "Tell him I'm on my way."  An hour and a half drive one way at night to EC after a long day at work ... but not a moments hesitation. I love how much Skeet loves us and shows it in a million little ways every day. And I'm so relieved Bran will be home soon to get well. I wouldn't have slept so well tonight otherwise!❤️

Vacations

(2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town.  He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!"  Cracked me up!!!

Lovely

(2016) Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."  Hahahaaa!

Terrorized

(2010) Lily was singing real sweetly to her baby doll tonight ... "Rock A Bye Baby, the tree falls, bye Mr. Baby, when the tree falls."  I think her babydoll may be too terrorized to go to sleep after that rendition!

Purgatory

(2014) I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys."  Shoot me now.

Chick Fil A

(2012) The boys are all at the BHS football game and Lily wanted me to take her to Chick Fil A.  When we got there she wanted to stay and play on the playground but I had just planned to go through the drive thru.  I told her, "Lily, I didn't bring my Kindle or any book to read while you play!  I won't have anything to do!"  She thought a minute and suggested, "Well, you could sing a little song and play with my pink Webkinz beaver."  Hmmmm ....  I'd like to see the looks I'd get in Chick Fil A if I were to sit alone in a booth and do that!

Rest in Peace

I was doing some yard work today and found this buried in the yard. It was a grave marker Lily made several years ago when a little chipmunk had died in our lawn, and Skeet buried it. She gave it a beautiful “service” that day then made this notecard to say “rest in peace little chipmunk Dave.” Truly made me smile today and gave me a good laugh! Oh, that girl of mine!!! 😂😂😂

Grits

(2011) I have succeeded in raising my kids as true Southerners!  I told Lily I was going to go order pizza for supper and she said, "No, Mom, let's order grits!"  That's my girl!

Wild man

(2012) Poor Papaw dropped both boys off at our house today afterschool and got roped into watching "The Call of the Wildman" with us!  That show CRACKS me up ... Papaw had never had seen it and he was cracking up, too!!!  The Turtleman will get sprayed by 20 skunks in someone's basement then they pay him with an old piece of leftover lumber or something!  I have to admit, the Turtleman is pretty creative with his traps and inventions!

Precious

(2013) I love five year olds.  I showed Lily an online picture of the baby panda cubs from the Atlanta zoo and she stood by the computer petting them (on the screen) and talking to them in a soft, high, sweet voice for about five minutes.  Precious.  Wish she could stay little forever.

Evaporation

(2014) I am amazed at the apparent rapid rate of tater tot evaporation ... Anytime I send Brandon Taylor to Sonic to get some for me, half the pack is somehow gone by the time it gets home to me!!!!!  Hmmmmmm......  :)

Math

(2017) Lily complaining while doing a page of math out of her math book tonight ...
“What is WRONG with this McGrawHill person?! Does he just WANT us to be bored??!!”  I’m cracking up!!! 😂😂😂

Glitter Glue

(2013) Lily is laughing so hard she can hardly stand it .... she needed me to open a glitter glue pen for her and I couldn't get it open, so I squeezed it, thinking it might have a hole in the top where the glue came out.  Of course it did NOT, and the lid popped off real loud and flew off, and the glitter glue splatter all over my face and hands!  We both just sat there stunned for a minute, then Lily Claire died laughing!  Yep ... she's my child!

Four

(2012) I love that even in this "high-tech" age, little ones are still pretty simple folks.  Lily spent today drawing chalk pictures on the sidewalk, playing hopscotch, building with blocks, playing with Mr. Potato Head, rocking her baby dolls, coloring in a coloring book, playing in a sandbox, collecting acorns, catching falling leaves, and planting flowers in a flower pot.  Nothing sophisticated or complicated ... just simple, old-fashioned fun.  She had a blast... I wish she could stay four years old forever!

Waffle House

So I’m going to make a confession. Waffle House grosses me out, and I hate to go there.  My husband knows this, so he was in shock today when I texted him that I took the kids to Waffle House for breakfast because the boys LOVE it! One of those sacrificial mom moments, I guess. 😂 Anyway everything went fine, it was SORT OF clean, we ate our food (though they only have cold syrup and serve hashbrowns with everything, even a hamburger) and I was starting to think, “Ok, this wasn’t so bad...”.  Just as I was entertaining this positive thought, the waiter next to me dumped an entire gigantic bucket of bleach water on the floor right next to where I was eating. Classy. Couldn’t quite swallow down anymore waffle with the bleach fumes floating over the greasy floor by my feet.  Check, please.  😂😂

Bears

(2011) Great.  Dylan talked me into watching a show with him on Animal Planet called "Viking Wilderness."  One whole part was this long footage of these big bears mating and Dylan said, "Awwwwwww!  Mom, look!  That bear is hugging the baby bear!!!"  Of course I quickly agreed it was "super cute" and then tried to change the subject!!!!

Text

(2014) I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches.  They text Bible verses, etc.  Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad.  Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer."  That cracked me up!!!!  Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!

Crazy

You know you've been raised by a Southern mama when .... your husband rehires the cleaning service to help you around the house and you are frantically cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen so they won't be dirty when the cleaning lady shows up!!! 😂😂😂 As we say around here, "Your crazy is showing .. better tuck it back in!!!"

BOOM

(2013) The little girls in my class have NOT been liking my fall clothes ... they tell me that they are used to my bright summer colors and my fall clothes are all darker colors.  It completely cracked me up when one of them said, "Yes, well, she may be all dark NOW, but BOOM! then come the Christmas sweaters!"  Yes, they know me well!

Jail

(2015) Funny story from today!  Dylan and Lily were playing "cops and robbers" and they had created this fort thing out of blankets, etc, that was supposed to be the "jail."  Apparently, Lily was the criminal who had been apprehended and put in the "jail."  A while later, Dylan crawled in the jail with her and I heard her say really seriously to him, "So ... What are you in for?"  I laughed out loud!!!!

British

Dylan walks through the family room tonight and asks, "Mom, why do all your shows have British people in them?"  Guess I've been watching too much PBS lately!!! :)

Ebola

(2014) I know the disease is not a joke, but Bran just asked me if he'd be able to skip school if he got Ebola. Nice try, Bran ... You ARE going to school tomorrow!

Wings

(2013)
“Got a huge laugh at Dylan's 5th grade parent/teacher conference today!  His teacher was sharing with me a piece he had written about which Native American tribe he would like to have been part of in early America.  Dylan chose the Pawnee because "he wanted to hunt buffalo and use buffalo for his tent and clothes and he really loves eating buffalo wings."  He seriously wrote that and was dead serious!  We were cracking up!!”

Cookout

Anyone up for trying the corndog caramel shake?? 😂😂😂

Ring Pops

Funny conversation in my class today after handing out a small treat that the kids had earned ...
All the kids ... “Thank you, Mrs. Taylor!!! You’re the best!!”
Me: “We’ll it’s because you guys are the best...”
One student after taking a big lick of his Ring Pop and a long, thoughtful pause,”No ... actually you’re really a lot better than us, Mrs. Taylor.”
I completely cracked up!!I’m sure the big Ring Pop candy swayed things in my favor considerably!!!! 😂😂😂

Cold Medicine

You know you've taken too much cold medicine when you're having a hard time following the story lines on The Love Boat .... 😂😂😂