Cool

 (2011) Life with a 13 year old son:  On my way home this evening, I called Bran to remind him to get his homework and chores done.  Typically, Bran never "remembers" to do any of his chores without lots of "reminders." So I say, "Bran, don't forget to take down the trashcans from the curb before football practice."  To which he replies, totally seriously, "I already did it, Mom, because you know ... I'm just cool like that."  Uh huh ... we'll see how long this wave of "coolness" lasts!  

Halloween

 (2011) Saturday, I made the mistake of shopping early for Lily's Halloween costume online and she ended up picking out a sweet kitty cat costume.  HOWEVER, now she is asking me every day if I can draw whiskers on her face and put on her costume (which, of course, we don't have yet!)  She just came storming into my room huffing and said, "WHEN is Halloween?  I've been waiting and waiting!"  Oh dear.  October is going to be a loooooooooong month!  

Beard

 (2015) Lily just said, "Mom, remember in the old, old, old times when everyone had to wear a beard?  Well Daddy must have looked HORRIBLE!"  Sorry Robert Skeet Taylor, but I am cracking up, you old timer, you!!

Meds

 This would be why I don’t take cold or allergy medicine before bedtime. Last night I dreamed that we had a pet lion in our backyard that had wandered in from the highway. I was concerned if the lion would get along with Buddy and the big group of gorillas we already had living in the backyard.  I also wasn’t sure if I was feeding the lion enough dog food every day and kept pouring huge mixing bowls full of it outside. We eventually let the lion into our kitchen to drink water out of a huge basin and let it lay on the floor and wander around the house roaring. Our neighbors then rented a petting zoo for one of their kid’s birthday parties and the owners asked if they could have the lion as part of their petting zoo. I agreed because I was worried the dog food for the lion was too expensive,but in the dream I was crying the whole time the lion was being put into a crate to leave with the petting zoo people. I kept telling the petting zoo people to take care of my lion and to remember that he was a boy lion named Joseph, but they wouldn’t listen to me. I kept trying to pet the lion one last time before the truck left. It was soooo bizarre and distressing! DEFINITELY going to stay away from the meds tonight before bed!!! 🦁🦁🦁

Directions

 You know you’re in the South when the focal point for all spoken directions of the day starts with, “Well first take a right at the cheese straw stand...”  #yellowdaisyfestival #goodtimes

Fruit Loops

 (2013) Dylan was trying to entice Lily to come upstairs to play this morning.  When she wouldn't come, he made a trail of her favorite cereal, Fruit Loops, that went from the family room and up the stairs to her room for her to follow/eat her way upstairs.  It worked!!  

Illegal

 Dear Middle School teachers, 

Please excuse my daughter if she was extremely sleepy in your classes today. Apparently she stayed up half the night writing an impassioned essay entitled “Why School Should Be Illegal.” 😂😂😂 (true story, folks)

Rainbow

A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Rap

Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...

I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).

Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?

Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!

Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.

I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Grocery Store

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!  

Felony

 Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Sabin

This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I seriously hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad and actually ridiculous if he was still in college that long without graduating.”

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Phone

 You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Brown

 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!