Bitter

 (2014) REALLY?!  I arrange a RARE free Saturday night with all the kids taken care of so I can surprise Robert Skeet Taylor  with a date ... I can't even remember our last date night!  I'm thinking dinner ... a movie ...a stroll around B&N ... ice cream ... Now he reminded me that he will be out of town Saturday night, taking Bran to a baseball showcase in Tennessee.  I am bummed.  And to top it off, after 24 years with one guy, I really have no other prospects to be my date on Saturday night!!  Sheesh. Guess I'll stay home and wash my hair and be very bitter! :)

Discount Tires

 (2016) Today I had to take my car to Discount Tires to get a tire replaced that had a nail in it.  (Me + Discount Tires is already the beginning of a horror story in my book.)  At any rate, though the guy helping me was super nice, I just wanted to get in and out of there with a fast quote on how much it would cost to order my new tire so Robert Skeet Taylor could go get it later.  Unfortunately, Enthusiastic Tire Guy had different plans.  He proceeded to teach me everything I never wanted to know about tires and tire pressure.  He showed me a whole bunch of stickers on the inside of my car door that I didn't care about, he told me all sorts of numbers for correct air pressure in my tires, he showed me a bunch of charts about green, yellow, and red tire tread zones, and then he talked for over thirty minutes about the Georgia Bulldogs and their football season.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there are any TWO things in the WORLD that I have NO interest in AT ALL, it's CAR PARTS AND SPORTS TEAMS. Though I smiled and said "cool" to this barrage of "fun facts," I began secretly wishing I had nails in my ears instead of my tire!  For that hideous hour, I truly thought the Ascension had happened and I had not been chosen, because I'm pretty sure I got a glimpse of HELL today at Discount Tires. 😂😂

Trick or Treat

 (2011) I am losing my mind!  Lily Claire has rung the doorbell about 1000 times now and keeps screaming "Trick or Treat!"  She's not quite understanding that today is NOT Halloween!!!!  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Fortune Cookie

 (2014) Hahaaa! A funny memory from a few years ago! ...

We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant tonight and when it came time to read the fortune cookies, we had a hilarious faux pas!  Lily asked to read Skeet's fortune out loud to all of us and, without any help, proceeded to read, "You will have good-looking personal affairs."  WHAT?!!!  Skeet was LOVING that fortune, until I snatched it and said, "Sorry mister.  It actually says, 'You will have good LUCK in your personal affairs!"   Oops ... letting a first grader read your fortune may alter your fate quite a bit, apparently!!  Hahahaaaa! 

Love

 (2016) A father's love ... Bran called home around 8 PM and said,"Mom, I'm as sick as I can ever remember. My head and chest and eyes are hurting so bad and I can't stop coughing."  My next words, "Come home. You need to sleep and go to the doctor in the morning."  Bran replied miserably, "I don't think I can drive home feeling this bad, and I don't have any cough medicine left. What should I do, Mom?"  Without batting an eye, Skeet said, "Tell him I'm on my way."  An hour and a half drive one way at night to EC after a long day at work ... but not a moments hesitation. I love how much Skeet loves us and shows it in a million little ways every day. And I'm so relieved Bran will be home soon to get well. I wouldn't have slept so well tonight otherwise!❤️ (postscript ... Bran was home over a week with pneumonia.)Brandon Taylor

Bug

 There was some big bug in the Lily's room and being the HERO that I am, I went upstairs with my Raid Can and sprayed it for like five minutes (never can be too careful!).  Anyway Dylan and Lily came running downstairs again and said the bug was still moving.  "How is that possible?!" I shouted.  "I sprayed about half a can of Raid on it!"  When I went back upstairs, I realized that I had NOT sprayed the BUG, I had sprayed a black KEN DOLL SHOE that was on the carpet instead!!  I'm getting old... apparently I need my reading glasses these days even to exterminate.

Oldness

 Today I was sitting outside on a bench at recess and had my ankles crossed.  One of my students was talking to me and then looked down at my ankle and said, Oh no, Mrs. Taylor, what happened?!”  She had seen an unsightly spider vein on my leg and thought I had been injured.  “Oh it’s nothing,” I said, “It’s OK. I’m  not hurt or anything.” Another student who was standing nearby overhearing the conversation rushed over to reassure me. “Don’t worry, Mrs Taylor! That just happens because of oldness.” Wow.  I felt much better thanks to that encouraging diagnosis! 😂😂😂😂

Scared

 (2012) Ok, so it's usually Lily Claire who is scared of the pizza delivery guy but tonight it was ME!  This older man who delivered our pizza tonight talked to me at the door for over thirty minutes about how "rich bums are building skyscrapers while dogs are in cages getting killed and a black hole could come and swallow us up."  I just kept smiling and nodding and agreeing with everything he said!!!!

Vacation

 (2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town.  He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!"  Cracked me up!!!

PJs

 (2016) Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."  Hahahaaa!

Mr. Baby

 (2010) Lily was singing real sweetly to her baby doll tonight ... "Rock A Bye Baby, the tree falls, bye Mr. Baby, when the tree falls."  I think her babydoll may be too terroized to go to sleep after that rendition!

Purgatory

 (2012) I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys."  Shoot me now.

Chick-fil-A

 (2013) The boys are all at the BHS football game and Lily wanted me to take her to Chick Fil A.  When we got there she wanted to stay and play on the playground but I had just planned to go through the drive thru.  I told her, "Lily, I didn't bring my Kindle or any book to read while you play!  I won't have anything to do!"  She thought a minute and suggested, "Well, you could sing a little song and play with my pink Webkinz beaver."  Hmmmm ....  I'd like to see the looks I'd get in Chick Fil A if I were to sit alone in a booth and do that!  Hahahahaa!

Buddy

Every time we’ve had a house showing I’ve had to take Buddy in the car and ride around or try to take him to the dog park. He hates being in the car so he always shakes and cries and slobbers everywhere and gets panicked! And he howls super loud at every person he sees through the window. 

So the other day I had to drive him around for THREE hours (it was raining and we couldn’t go to the dog park) which was a nightmare and by the end he was going nuts. I stopped by Sonic to get myself a drink and get him a cup of water.  I thought I had him peacefully settled  in the passenger seat with the drinks safely in the cup holder. 

Then I made the HUGE, HUGE  mistake of stopping at a mailbox in a shopping area.I quickly got out and put the letter in the mailbox and then turned back to get back into the driver seat. While I was doing that,  Buddy had proceeded to STOMP all through the drinks in the cup holder to get into my seat so he could see me better out the window!!! He had his paws IN the cups of cherry limeade and water and they had spilled everywhere and was all over his feet. One of his paws was completely stained pink from the cherry limeade! It was a complete nightmare! I had to use his towel to try and wipe up the huge mess and dry off his soaking wet paws. It is always an adventure with Buddy around… and not always a good one! It will be a miracle if we survive selling all these houses and moving! 😂😂😂

 

Grilled Cheese

 (2011) Grammie and Papaw came over tonight for homemade chili and to watch a movie. I was asking everyone if they wanted a "grilled" cheese sandwich with their chili and Lily shouted, "YES! I want a "girl" cheese sandwich!" Papaw laughed and said, "I want a "girl" cheese sandwich, too!" Lilly put her hands on her hips and said, "No Papaw, you have to have a BOY cheese sandwich!"

Permission

 (2013) The realities of life with two big brothers ... You must label all your food with dire warnings to keep them away!  I found this note in the kitchen today ... "Lily's cake. No one can have a peice without permition." Only time will tell if this will keep the big brothers at bay...

Crime

 (2013) One of my favorite Lily stories from 1st grade ... 😂❤️

Lily loves to make crafts, but tonight she came to me looking completely dejected with some sort of foam ball drenched in Elmer's glue and moaned dramatically, "OH NOOOO!!! Mom .. I am a GLUE GLOBBER." It is apparently a TERRIBLE crime. I just can't believe my sweet baby girl has turned to a life of glue globbing villainy at such a young age.

Texting

 (2012) I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches.  They text Bible verses, etc.  Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad.  Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer."  That cracked me up!!!!  Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!

Crazy

 You know you've been raised by a Southern mama when .... your husband rehires the cleaning service to help you around the house and you are frantically cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen so they won't be dirty when the cleaning lady shows up!!!  As we say around here, "Your crazy is showing .. better tuck it back in!!!"

Cops and Robbers

 (2012) Funny story from today!  Dylan and Lily were playing "cops and robbers" and they had created this fort thing out of blankets, etc, that was supposed to be the "jail."  Apparently, Lily was the criminal who had been apprehended and put in the "jail."  A while later, Dylan crawled in the jail with her and I heard her say really seriously to him, "So ... What are you in for?"  I laughed out loud!!!!

Buffalo

(2013) Got a huge laugh at Dylan's 5th grade parent/teacher conference today!  His teacher was sharing with me a piece he had written about which Native American tribe he would like to have been part of in early America.  Dylan chose the Pawnee because "he wanted to hunt buffalo and use buffalo for his tent and clothes and he really loves eating buffalo wings."  He seriously wrote that and was dead serious!  We were cracking up!!”