Eggs

 (2018) Life with a 15 year old son .... Skeet and I leaping out of bed at 1 AM to the fire alarm screaming and the smell of smoke. Run downstairs to see Dylan standing guiltily over a smoking pan of burned scrambled eggs. Without blinking an eye he says, “Buddy did it.” Nice try!! I told him that the next time he needs a middle of the night snack, it should be a PBJ. 

Fluffy

 (2012) The boys have been picking on their poor baby sister tonight ... she decided her new name is "Fluffy" but they keep "forgetting" to call her that and are calling her "Gaylord" and "Achmed" and "Red Hot Joe" and a host of other names that are making her VERY mad!!!  I hate to say it, but I'm cracking up! "Fluffy", however, is NOT laughing!

Vote

 (2016) Voted!! Took 5 minutes! Lily loved watching me click the choices, but made me laugh when the vote for the Commissioner of Soil came up.  She whispered to me, "Why do we need to vote for a farmer?" 

Cure

 (2011) There are some sad boys at my house tonight ... they lost the championship game 12-0.   What to do?  I'm baking them some cookies, which is the "mom" cure for all life's disappointments.

Doorbell

 (2011) I am losing my mind!  Lily Claire has rung the doorbell about 1000 times now and keeps screaming "Trick or Treat!"  She's not quite understanding that today is NOT Halloween!!!!  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Behave

 (2011) Lily had to sit in time out for hitting her brother.  I told her not come back in our room until she could be nice and BEHAVE.  When she came back in the room a little while later she said, "Sorry, Mama ... I'm 'being hay-ved' now." 

Fortune

 (2014) We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant tonight and when it came time to read the fortune cookies, we had a hilarious faux pas!  Lily asked to read Skeet's fortune out loud to all of us and, without any help, proceeded to read, "You will have good-looking personal affairs."  WHAT?!!!  Skeet was LOVING that fortune, until I snatched it and said, "Sorry mister.  It actually says, 'You will have good LUCK in your personal affairs!"   Oops ... letting a first grader read your fortune may alter your fate quite a bit, apparently!!

News Flash

 (2014) News flash for the family ... Lilly Claire informed me that she has changed her name to "Fluffy Belle."  Just FYI!

Halloween

 (2014) Sooooo much work ahead of me to make Bran into decent husband material one day ... case in point:  Tonight I walk into his room with all this highlighting product goop in my hair, my head covered with a huge plastic bag, moisturizer cream on my face, my pink robe on, and my black glasses.  My husband is smart enough not to comment (years of training).  My teenage son, however, says, "What the heck, Mom?!  Is that your Halloween costume?!!!"  Yes, I did swat him!  :)  Brandon Taylor

Old

 (2018) Today I was sitting outside on a bench at recess and had my ankles crossed.  One of my students was talking to me and then looked down at my ankle and said, Oh no, Mrs. Taylor, what happened?!”  She had seen an unsightly spider vein on my leg and thought I had been injured.  “Oh it’s nothing,” I said, “It’s OK. I’m  not hurt or anything.” Another student who was standing nearby overhearing the conversation rushed over to reassure me. “Don’t worry, Mrs Taylor! That just happens because of oldness.” Wow.  I felt much better thanks to that encouraging diagnosis! 😂😂😂😂

Vacation

 (2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town.  He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!"  Cracked me up!!!

Pajamas

 (2016) Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."  

Purgatory

 (2014) I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys."  Shoot me now.

Lullaby

 (2011)Lily was singing real sweetly to her baby doll tonight ... "Rock A Bye Baby, the tree falls, bye Mr. Baby, when the tree falls."  I think her babydoll may be too terrorized  to go to sleep after that rendition!

Grits

 (2011) I have succeeded in raising my kids as true Southerners!  I told Lily I was going to go order pizza for supper and she said, "No, Mom, let's order grits!"  That's my girl!

Five

 (2015) I love five year olds.  I showed Lily an online picture of the baby panda cubs from the Atlanta zoo and she stood by the computer petting them (on the screen) and talking to them in a soft, high, sweet voice for about five minutes.  Precious.  Wish she could stay little forever.

Evaporation

 (2015) I am amazed at the apparent rapid rate of tater tot evaporation ... Anytime I send Brandon Taylor to Sonic to get some for me, half the pack is somehow gone by the time it gets home to me!!!!!  Hmmmmmm......  

Homework

 (2018) Lily complaining while doing a page of math out of her math book tonight ...

“What is WRONG with this McGrawHill person?! Does he just WANT us to be bored??!!”  I’m cracking up!!! 😂😂😂

Chipmunk

 (2019) I was doing some yard work today and found this buried in the yard. It was a grave marker Lily made several years ago when a little chipmunk had died in our lawn, and Skeet buried it. She gave it a beautiful “service” that day then made this notecard to say “rest in peace little chipmunk Dave.” Truly made me smile today and gave me a good laugh! Oh, that girl of mine!!! 😂😂😂

Old School

 (2018) I am an old school elementary school teacher and proud of it!  I am pleased to say that tonight I rummaged out my "candy corn" earrings and my pumpkin vests for the upcoming season!  Now all I need to find are those cute socks with ghosts and black cats on them!!! Eat your hearts out, you young whippersnappers!!

Crime

 (2013) Lily loves to make crafts, but tonight she came to me looking completely dejected with some sort of foam ball drenched in Elmer's glue and moaned dramatically, "OH NOOOO!!! Mom .. I am a GLUE GLOBBER." It is apparently a TERRIBLE crime. I just can't believe my sweet baby girl has turned to a life of glue globbing villainy at such a young age.

Waffle House

 (2018) So I’m going to make a confession. Waffle House grosses me out, and I hate to go there.  My husband knows this, so he was in shock today when I texted him that I took the kids to Waffle House for breakfast because the boys LOVE it! One of those sacrificial mom moments, I guess. 😂 Anyway everything went fine, it was SORT OF clean, we ate our food (though they only have cold syrup and serve hashbrowns with everything, even a hamburger) and I was starting to think, “Ok, this wasn’t so bad...”.  Just as I was entertaining this positive thought, the waiter next to me dumped an entire gigantic bucket of bleach water on the floor right next to where I was eating. Classy. Couldn’t quite swallow down anymore waffle with the bleach fumes floating over the greasy floor by my feet.  Check, please.  😂😂

Text

 (2012) I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches.  They text Bible verses, etc.  Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad.  Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer."  That cracked me up!!!!  Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!

Crazy

 (2016) You know you've been raised by a Southern mama when .... your husband rehires the cleaning service to help you around the house and you are frantically cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen so they won't be dirty when the cleaning lady shows up!!! 😂😂😂 As we say around here, "Your crazy is showing .. better tuck it back in!!!"

Finery

 (2013) Ladies ... ladies ... PLEASE restrain yourselves ... not everyone can have such beautiful Dollar Store jewels like us.  Maybe one day YOUR ship will come in and you, too, can have such finery ...

Pretty

 (2016)  So the lady doing my nails at the Nail Shop says to me, "You have beautiful skin! Don't need makeup!" While I'm still basking in the glow of this generous compliment, she adds, "I bet you very pretty when you were young."  Ummmm ... thanks????  I am desperately hoping something was lost in the translation!! 

Real

 (2014) Lily got to choose an item from the dollar store for filling her "teeth brushing" chart for two weeks, so she chose this GORGEOUS fake long hair!  She said, "EVERYONE, except God, will think it's REAL!" 😃

Glamorous

 (2020) A glimpse into the glamorous life at the Taylor home. I was searching all day for a missing sock from the laundry ... And found it when Buddy threw it up on my bed at 2 AM. 😑😑😑#livingthedream  #mydogisagoat 😂😂😂

Annoying

 (2012) Skeet, Bran, Dylan, Lily and I were in the car this evening heading to a restaurant.  Here is the conversation between Lily and Dylan ...

Dylan: (making all sorts of weird faces and noises)

Lilyl:  Dylan STOP!!!

Dylan: (continues making all sorts of werid faces and noises)

Lilyl:  Dylan, STOP IT!  You are being annoying!

Dylan: (still making all sorts of weird faces and noises)

Lilly: STOP DYLAN!  EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE ANNOYING!

Long pause ...

Dylan: Grammie doesn't. (Then Dylan continues with weird faces and noises.)

Cracked me up because it's SO true!

Bacteria

 (2016) Lily just informed me that she would NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could have a LOT of "bacteria."  A true romantic in the making ... 😂😂😂😂

Exhausted

(2016)  I hope my family appreciates the blood, sweat, and tears I put into slaving over a hot stove for their supper tonight!  They wanted soup and sandwiches, so I opened SEVERAL pop-top cans of tomato soup BY MYSELF, then lovingly wrapped each grilled cheese sandwich in Sonic takeout foil. I am EXHAUSTED. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it ...😂😂😂😂). #bestmomever.

Sleeping Beauty

 (2011) Dylan is laughing his head off because Lily Claire is playing with her princess dolls and keeps calling Sleeping Beauty "Sleeping Booty."  Oh dear!

Slime

 (2018) Lily just proudly showed me some huge blob of slime she made and then I realized she was carrying it around on top of her children's Bible!! What?!!

Me: "SLIME on your Bible, Lil? Really?!

Lily: GASP!!! Oops!!!! 

Me: I'm calling Jesus right now to tell on you. 

Lily: (running to get it off) Nooooooooo!!! I'm sorry, Jesus!!!!!

😂😂😂😂

Hives

 (2020) When you’re itching and  think you have hives from all the stress you’ve been under and then you realize it was just a bunch of crumbled Pringles that fell down your blouse at lunch… #teacherlife2020

Remember

 (2011) Life with a 13 year old son:  On my way home this evening, I called Bran to remind him to get his homework and chores done.  Typically, Bran never "remembers" to do any of his chores without lots of "reminders." So I say, "Bran, don't forget to take down the trashcans from the curb before football practice."  To which he replies, totally seriously, "I already did it, Mom, because you know ... I'm just cool like that."  Uh huh ... we'll see how long this wave of "coolness" lasts!  :)

Kitty Cat

 (2011) Saturday, I made the mistake of shopping early for Lily's Halloween costume online and she ended up picking out a sweet kitty cat costume.  HOWEVER, now she is asking me every day if I can draw whiskers on her face and put on her costume (which, of course, we don't have yet!)  She just came storming into my room huffing and said, "WHEN is Halloween?  I've been waiting and waiting!"  Oh dear.  October is going to be a loooooooooong month! 

Wrong

 If watching Hallmark channel and eating Little Debbies on the couch in my pajamas is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.😂😂😂

Grooming

 I just got an offer from a pet website to send me a 128 page book about grooming my dog at home. What on earth?!!! All I do for Buddy is slop some dog shampoo and water on him in the tub then brush him. Buddy must be missing out on the other 127 pages of grooming! 😂😂🐾🐾

Kite

(2017) Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days. Our conversation ...

Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?

Bran: No, I'm staying here. 

Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?

Bran: Yeah, I'm ready. 

Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?

Bran: I bought a kite ... 

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Rainbow

 (2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE rainbow colored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow- colored!"   UG!!

Snacks

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor! 

Boots

 (2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Super Bowl

 (2018) Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Nick Sabin

 (2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I seriously hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad and actually ridiculous if he was still in college that long without graduating.”

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Brown

 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 😂😂

Refrigerator

 (2021) You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Bunny

 (2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!  :)

Cure

 Tried and true cure for a stressful day ... make your hair a little blonder, paint your nails a little pinker, purchase a jumbo sized chocolate truffle DQ Blizzard, bathe yourself in puppy kisses, and watch several cheesy episodes of The Love Boat in your old flannel PJs. Yep, feeling better already. ❤️❤️

Baby

 (2011) Lily tripped and hurt her knee, then very adamantly informed me, "Mama, you have to cuddle Grammie's baby when she's hurt!"  Three guesses WHO "Grammie's baby" is?  Yes, of course, Lily Claire!

Mean

 (2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Aristocats

 (2013) Lily had a VERY exciting moment last night when she realized that our family is "exactly like" the Aristocats ... a mom, dad, two brothers, and a sister!  Now we are all being called by our cat name, since apparently we ARE the Aristocats!  Sincerely, Duchess

Gutenberg

 (2014) I know that Gutenburg's printing press gets the credit most of the time for the best invention of all time,  but I think the guy who invented air conditioning deserves to be sainted or knighted or something! Let's face it, you can't even enjoying reading a book fresh off the printing press when you're roasting hot!!

Roast

 (2017) Tonight I was miffed when Dylan came home at supper time with a big bag of hamburgers after I'd made a roast. Halfway through dinner I look over and see that Dylan has put huge hunks of roast on each hamburger and is eating them!!! "See Mom! The roast didn't go to waste!" he proudly informed me. Only a 14 year old boy!!!!! 🙄😂😂

Mountain Man

 (2014) Watching "Mountain Man" on the History Channel with Robert Skeet Taylor ... Completely fascinating,but I think the show should be called "Forever A Single Lonley Mountain Man" since one of them is getting frozen skunks out of traps in his henhouse, another took an all day ride to a junkyard to find screws for his makeshift wood shack house, and another is picking up dead squirrels that "aren't too old" off the road to take home for dinner.  He said eating road kill is a good way not to be wasteful. The Mountain Men are definitely NOT chick magnets!!!

Glug

 (2014) Should I be concerned that the toilet downstairs was making a loud "glug, glug, glug" noise and when I went to check it out, foaming bath bubbles were coming out of the bowl????  How and why???!!!

Coke

 Sorry friends who are not from the South, but I hate the words  "pop" and "soda" ... Down here we say, "Y'all want a Coke?" And then you ask, "What kind? (Coke, Sprite, Orange, etc) 😂😂😂 #nixthesodapop

Grief Counseling

 Dylan gets a Moes burrito. 

Dylan sets it on a plate. 

Dylan goes to get a drink. 

Buddy eats burrito. 

We may need to call grief counseling for Dylan. 😂😂

Happiness and Rainbows

 One of my favorites ... ❤️

A little girl in my class gave me a hug today in the hallway and said, "Oh Mrs. Taylor!  You smell just like happiness and rainbows." ❤️❤️

Google

 (2020) Googling stuff we’ve never heard of to help Dyl with statistics homework. Jesus take the wheel. 😫😫😫

Favorite

 (2013) Bran was pressing me to say which of the kids was my favorite Of course, he wanted me to say it was HIM ... instead I said they were ALL my favorite. Then he asked who was my least favorite! I said, "None of you is my least favorite. I like all of you. I have three favorites" Then, in one last attempt to get me to say that HE was my favorite child, he asked, "If you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one of us, who would you pick?" Without skipping a beat, I replied, "Daddy." And that, my friends, is the TRUTH ... far, far away from all my "favorites" for a day or two!! 

Nicer

 (2018) Lily and I were heading to the grocery store today and got behind a driver who was going 2 miles an hour and not turning at the signal, etc. Lily and I were getting annoyed and yelling real meanly  at the driver inside our car to “hurry up” and “pay attention.” At that moment we passed at church that had a HUGE sign on its lawn that said,”Love God. Love people.”  From the backseat Lily said, “Oops. I guess God was sending us an instant message. “ 😂😂❤️ We were much nicer to fellow drivers the rest of the trip!!

Chips

 You know you might be a redneck if…

You’re laying in bed almost completely asleep and your husband walks in the bedroom and ask if you’re awake. When you say yes, he responds, “Oh good! Try one of these new barbecue chips” and then you proceed to actually eat one from some bag he’s holding over you while you’re laying in your bed in your PJs in the dark. Yes, that really did just happen in the Taylor household! 😂😂😂😂 Robert Skeet Taylor

Snow Cone

 (2018) I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Germs

 (2018) Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"

Music

 (2019) Tales from Middle School ...

Lily came home today and said,”Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is our bus driver said he would play music on the bus!”

Me: “Cool! What’s the bad news?”

Lily: “It was Kidz Bop.”😑

Apparently they were all back in their earbuds pretty quickly. 😂😂😂

Depressed

 (2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Baa Baa

 (2011) Lily Claire's version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep":  "Brandon black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full.  One for the magic, one for the dang, one for the yellow boy who lives down the lane."

Lobster

 (2020) I was at the dollar store this evening picking up a few items for my class. A man in the store was literally yelling at the top of his lungs to his wife across the store,”THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! “ As if that wasn’t weird enough, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what the dollar store was passing off as “lobster” in those frozen one dollar packs of egg rolls! Sounds like a food poisoning fiasco waiting to happen… Pretty sure eating the glue sticks I was purchasing would’ve been a safer bet than ingesting those hideous eggrolls! 😂😂😂 #lobsterimposter 🦞

School Supplies

 (2013) This was at the TOP of Lily's "most needed" school supplies list ... some new, gorgeous, high-quality jewelry from the Dollar Store to wear to Kindergarten!  Yes, she's my daughter!!

Remember

 (2012) In all seriousness, Lily Claire just came up to me and said, "Mom, do you remember that time that me you, Daddy, Dylan, Bran, Grammie, and Papaw were all riding on that unicorn one day?" .... ummmm... I"m not quite remembering that as much!

Sunbeam

 (2014) I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!  :)

Stressed

(2014) Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Socks

 (2020) No matter how old my kids get, I always buy them a new pair of shoes when school starts. When I texted Brandon about his shoes he asked me if I could also get him some socks. He said to get “no show” and “regular” socks, so I asked him if “regular” meant the kind that went up to his knee. This is the text I got back and now we are both cracking up at the thought of him walking around campus in big black or white knee socks with his shorts!!! 😂😂😂 #fashionfauxpas

Whiskey

 (2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Steve

(2018) We have home phones that will "announce" who is calling once the phone rings.  It's a lady computer type voice that can be hard to understand sometimes.  Anyway, the other morning I was super busy trying to arrange haircuts, get house chores done, etc.  And, of course, the phone kept ringing and ringing all morning.  Every time the caller ID said, "Call from ... Steve."  I never actually looked at the phone or number since I was busy and by the third call from "Steve," I was shouting back to the caller ID, saying things like, "STEVE, I don't know you!" ... "Steve, Quit calling me, I'm busy!" and "STEVE, GIVE IT UP!  STOP CALLING!!!"  Finally after about four or so calls from Steve, I stomped over to the phone as it rang again and I actually READ the caller ID ... which said "SKEET" NOT "Steve," as the lady computer voice kept saying!  (Guess she didn't have anything in her database for the word SKEET.)  Poor Skeet had been calling all those times from Pep Boys, needing a ride home while they worked on his car.  Oh dear.  I will definitely be taking calls from STEVE from now on!  Hahahaaa!  Sorry, Skeet!

Relish

 (2019) Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.

Lily: What’s relish?

Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it. 

Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!

Me: Yes!

Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either! 

Me: You don’t like hot dogs??

Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no. 

😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Dry Clean

 (2013) Embarrassing moment of the day:  I took some clothes from our trip to the dry cleaners and obviously had not done a good job of sorting out the clothes in my suitcase when we got back.  Case in point:  after I dropped off the clothes to be cleaned, the nice, Indian dry cleaner man chased me down in the parking lot to return a pair of my underwear and a bra I had mixed in with the dry cleaning.  Nice.

Cute

My 14 year old daughter just very politely and diplomatically asked if I could wear a “cute outfit” to her high school registration on Thursday instead of, in her words, “what you usually wear around the house.” 😂😂😂 

I’m not recalling the boys ever asking that!! 😂😂

 #girls #shouldibeinsulted

Adored

 I am one lucky gal to come home EVERY evening after all these years and be COMPLETELY idolized and adored and smothered with undying love and kisses; to have a best friend who NEVER leaves my side, loves and appreciates everything I cook for dinner (even if it’s reheated McDonald’s chicken nuggets from lunch), hangs on my every word, AND watches Hallmark movies with me without EVER complaining or changing the channel to ESPN ... yes, indeed, you are the BEST puppy ever, Buddy Taylor!! (What? You thought I was talking about someone else???Robert Skeet Taylor 😂😂😂)

Rushing

 (2016) Got tickled today at Walmart observing a teenage worker who was moving so slowly that I was concerned if she even had a pulse!  When we encountered her again in the store, I noticed her t-shirt said "Rushing Toward Success." It's going to be a long, long journey at that pace!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Citizen’s Arrest

 (2014) We bought a special promo cup for Brandon at RaceTrac that you can refill through August 1st for free every time you are there.  Today he drove past there and went in to fill his cup and leave.  Some older man (another customer) chased him out of the store screaming, "Hey!  Hey!  You didn't pay for that drink!!!  Come back and pay!!!"  Bran turned around and said, "It's a promo cup you can refill for free."  The guy said, "Oh." and went back in the store.  Guess it was a Mango Slushie Citizen's Arrest of some sort!  Sheesh! :)

4th of July

 (2011) Lily Claire, age 3, was looking at all the 4th of July decorations for our cookout tonight and asked, "Mommy, who's birthday is it?"  Thinking I was being clever, I said, "It's America's birthday today!"  Lily thought a minute then asked, "So when is America coming over?"  Oh well.

Elvis

(2015)  OH NO!!!!  Major unfortunate event for today... I was coloring my hair (NOT that I need to cover some gray or anything) and AFTER the 30 minute wait and rinse, I realized I had picked up DARK BROWN at the store instead of DARK BLOND!!!  My hair is now darker than my sisters and I am in shock.  I wondered why it looked black when I got out of the shower!!! Robert Skeet Taylor, please brace yourself when you get home!!!  I am going to have to go get a highlighting kit PRONTO at some remote shopping area where I won't be noticed, except maybe by an Elvis talent scout!  Good lord.

Jerky

 (2018) Brandon Taylor... this still makes me laugh!!! 😂😂😂

(2016) Brandon made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Grandma

 (2020) Funny memory ... 😂😂😲😲

We were at Chili’s tonight and the young waitress looked at Skeet and said, “Here’s your ribs, sir.” Then she looked at Lily and said, “And here’s your chicken pasta.” Then she put my plate in front of me and sweetly said, “And here’s fajitas for grandma.”  What?! Seriously? #thisreallyhappened #NOtip  😧😂

Barter

(2019) I am cracking up at the brother-sister barter system going on in the Taylor house! Dylan just offered Lily $3 to make him 4 grilled cheese sandwiches. Lily raised it to $4 and a deal was struck! (The only thing Lily failed to tell Dylan was that Buddy accidentally licked all his sandwiches before she delivered them… She was afraid he wouldn’t pay the full price if he knew!) 😂😂😂

Teeth

 (2015) My Lily makes me laugh so much!!  She was mad when she realized she couldn't learn to whistle without her two front teeth, so the next thing I know, she had made some front teeth out of paper and taped them on!! I love this funny little girl!

Yes to the Dreas

 (2013) WE SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!!!! ... at Toys R Us, that is! Lily spent her birthday gift card on this Cinderella princess bride gown! (Note the pink and yellow PJs underneath this super elegant gown!)  When we put the veil on, Lily said "I LOOOOVE this bride hair!"

Blonde

(2013) Lily had us so confused today, and it was hilarious!  She kept mumbling things and when someone couldn't hear her, she'd say, "Oh no.  You're blonde."  What?!  Finally I asked her what that meant and she said, "Being blonde means you can't see!"  Hmmm .. that's "blind" and you meant "deaf," Lil.  Comedy of errors!

Inspirational

 (2017) Funniest texts of the day between Brandon and me! He's loving working for a remodeler/landscaper this summer, but today's job was SUPER tough. He had to remove a large privacy fence with a crowbar and his hands! Then he had to try and dig the cemented posts out of the ground! He was dead tired when he sent me this text. My attempt to be motivational didn't quite have the inspirational effect I had hoped!! 😂😂😂 I am still laughing!! 

Headache

 (2012) Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Fake News

 Robert Skeet Taylor and I were running errands today and we pulled into PGA Golf store. 

"Come in with me," he said. "There's LOTS of cool stuff to look at in here!"

After approximately three minutes inside the store I realized I had been a victim of fake news. 😂😂😂

Outraged

 (2020) Just went to Chick-fil-A and was OUTRAGED to find out they don’t make large sized milkshakes anymore. Just small. This seems unAmerican. 😂😂😂 I mean, Lord knows I don’t NEED a large … but still. 😂😂😂

Date

(2016) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...

Me: What time is the movie?

Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck? 

Me:  Sure. Do you have money?

Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!

Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...

Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...

Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..

Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...

Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)

Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...

Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...

Me again: and ..

Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!

Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility. 

Bran: Defeated sigh. 

The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Purist

Skeet and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Summertime

 (2012) I can tell it's summertime when my Walmart bill includes bubbles, suncatchers, fingerpaint, Captain Crunch, and Hi Ho Cherry-O!

Brothers

 (2013) Life with two brothers means that everything gets eaten or used up before Lily Claire can get to it, most of the time!  Whenever we buy chocolate milk or doughnuts or ANYTHING, it is usually all gone by the next day when Lily is looking for it, because the boys have gotten to it first.  It makes her really mad!  Anyway, she went into the pantry this week and the light bulb had burned out.  She came out with her hands on her hips, scowling, and said, "Great!  Now the brothers have used up all the electricity, too!"

Lucky

 Robert Skeet Taylor, you are quite possibly the luckiest man on earth. All I could find tonight to put on my poison ivy was diaper rash cream, so it is currently all over my face and neck and hands and arms and ears. Paired with its delightful smell and my scratching, it looks especially nice with the old flannel PJ pants I’m wearing that are covered with faded polar bears. I’m also stopped up from the pollen, so I have a breathe-right strip on my nose, and my contacts were hurting my eyes so I have on black glasses with rhinestones. Skeet couldn’t ask for more gorgeous dream woman to hang out with tonight!!  #luckyman 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Checks

 Life with Jen and Skeet …

We just ordered checks with our new address on them. 

My design has pictures of neon colored popsicles with googly eyes and smiley faces dancing on piles of colorful confetti. 

Skeet’s are gray. 

😂😂😂 

Hunk

(2013) Lily was describing Robert Skeet Taylor at lunch: "a person with black white gray hair, wrinkly forehead, hairy arms, and a scratchy face." WHAT A HUNK!!  I am laughing soooo hard!!! 😂😂😂

Golf

 (2020) Conversations I had with Skeet on the golf course today… He’s such a lucky man to have me by his side!! 😂😂😂 Wonder if he’ll invite me again soon? 

“It’s humid out here”

“Uh oh. I hope you brought a lot of balls.”

“That lake is like a putt putt trap.”

“I’m going to watch from the shade.”

“Aww! Look at that cute dog!”

“I am going to look this tree up on plant app ...”

“I need a drink.”

“Somebody left tees everywhere.”

“They need to empty the trash out here.”

“Why are you using that club?”

“I’m sweating.”

“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep...”

“Woah! Look where this ball is. Somebody did terrible.”

“ I wonder who designs the shape of the sand traps.”

“Don’t get poison ivy getting your ball.”

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...”

“Maybe you should’ve brought your glasses.”

“What’s with all the ant hills?”

“Hold on. My tennis shoe hurts.”

“This is a no judgement zone.”

“That dude must be burning up in that long sleeve shirt.”

“Oops. It’s ok. Try again.”

“Look at all the dandelions!”

“Wow. We look super white in these shorts. We need a tan.”

“Are there fish in this lake? I just saw bubbles!”

“Don’t hit that guy over there.”

“They should make golf balls out of stuff that fish can eat for when they go in the lake.”

“Should I stop keeping score?”

Praise

 (2014) One of my sweet fourth grade boys said to me today, "Mrs. Taylor, the only better woman in my life other than you is my mother."  Absolutely precious. I don't think there is any higher praise possible than that!

OCD

 (2018) Anyone who knows me well knows I have a BAD OCD problem with vacuuming all the time! I have three Roomba vacuums that run all the time and three upright vacuums that I still use after the Roomba. The kids complain that they can’t hear the TV with the Roomba always running to which I just scream, “Too bad!” 😂😂😂 When I downloaded a vacuuming game app, Debbie Leonard wanted to hold a family crisis intervention. 😂😂😂 I know it’s crazy. I once told Bran when he was about ten that  I took med so I wouldn’t clean and vacuum so much, to which he politely said,”Not to hurt your feelings, Mom, but the med’s not working.” 😂😂😂 Anyway he’s been asleep in his room while the carpet cleaner guy has been here today, who he didn’t know was coming, and I got this text from him that cracked me up! He thought poor old mom had finally lost it while he’d been away at school! 😂😂😂

Bonfire

 (2013) Seriously considering burning all the dirty laundry in a bonfire in the backyard rather than doing it all today!  No one would notice a twenty foot burning pile of cloth in my backyard, would they?!!!

Gerbil

 (2011) Lily just asked me if she could have a JEWEL-BALL.  ????  Finally realized she was trying to say GERBIL!  I think the Jewel-Ball is a better option.

Grandma

 (2011) One of my students accidentally called me "Grandma" today  ... I told them their A in my class was now a C minus!!!!  

Moved

 Saw something soooo funny today ....  a church had apparently moved to a new location and all you could see from the road was their former sign.  Unfortunately, the lone sign was right in front of a graveyard and it said, "We have moved.  Call us at our new number."

Gift Card

 I am cracking up that almost everytime I "like" someone's post on FB now, it asks me if I want to give them a gift card!  "Aunt Bernice just found her lost tabby cat in the neighbors garage ... would you like to help Aunt Bernice celebrate with a Starbucks gift card?"

Grumpy

 (2012)

Lily Claire had to dress up as a fairy tale character for preschool today, which sounded super fun last night, but this morning, Lily wasn't quite as thrilled.  Here is a 7 AM picture of the grumpiest princess you'll ever see!

Raisin Bran

 (2011) How many nights in a row is it possible to have Raisin Bran for supper?  I'll be sure and let you know.  Such is my life during baseball season!!

Lipstick

(2013) So I delivered some news to Lily Claire last night that was followed by ten minutes of uproarious squealing, jumping, twirling, and clapping with delight.  Did I tell her we had won the lottery?!  No.  Did I tell her we were going to Disney World?!  No.  Did I tell her she could wear pink lipstick to her ballet recital tonight?  Yes!  It was a major lipstick celebration at our house.  :)

Concert

 I signed up for this site called "Bandsintown" that tracks when music groups that you like are going to be in town doing concerts.  It automatically gets information from your Itunes playlists and puts those artists in a tracking system for you.  It then gave me some suggestions for some other groups I might want to see in concert based on my current favorites.  I had to crack up when it suggested that I be notified when GENE KELLY was coming in concert!  That concert would be quite a marvel since he DIED in 1996!!  I DEFINITELY want to know about THAT concert so I can be the first to get tickets!

Foreigners

 (2013) Lily comes downstairs after her bath this evening and Skeet says in all seriousness, "Hey Lil, you forgot your pajamas on the bottom."

Lil and me:  "It's called a nightgown, Daddy."

Skeet, "Oh."

Yes, Lily and I live as foreign creatures in a Man Cave.

Moms

 One of my favorite memories of the boys is perfect for Mother's Day: One day when the boys were younger, they were arguing and bickering. Dylan kept telling Brandon what to do.  They came stomping up the stairs with Bran shouting, "DYLAN, STOP telling me how to live my life!!  NO ONE can tell you how to live your life!!!"  Then there was a pause and Brandon added, "Except Mom, she tells everyone how to live their life.” Glad he learned that early!!! Brandon Taylor Dylan Taylor

Irony

 Irony: I’m watching a survival show with Skeet and I’m sitting here harshly criticizing this lady for complaining and refusing to eat a big slimy stingray they caught with a spear. Then I remembered that I won’t even eat at Waffle House. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Weights

 (2019) Lily was using some of Skeet’s handheld weights this evening. After about ten minutes of pumping the weights up and down, she informed me that her arms were now very “musculent.”  😂😂😂

Cough

 (2012) Lily kept coughing tonight so I told her I needed to give her some cough medicine.  She thought a minute and said, "No Mom, I need some NOT cough medicine."  Good point, actually!!! 

Eyebrows

 You might teach third graders if ...You can’t find the Scotch tape on your desk and two of your little girls pipe up and say, “Oh we have it, Mrs. Taylor. We were just using it to wax our eyebrows!”  Really?! 😂😂😂 #neveradullmoment

Broadway

 (2014) PROUD PROUD parent moment ... Dylan has a part in the 5th grade school musical.  He is CAMPER ITCH-ALOT and apparently he has to "scratch alot".  His one line is, "The mosquitoes are eating me alive!"  Watch out BROADWAY ... I'm sure he will be discovered with this amazing break-out role!! 

Baby Book

 (2013) I pulled out Brandon's baby book of pictures to show him tonight and Lily rushed over and said, "Ooooo ... I want to look at Bran's remem-bories"!  

Skeleton

 (2011) Life with Dylan:  This morning we were talking about Easter and I said, "Jesus died for us then rose from the grave three days later!"  Dylan:  "Cool!  So Jesus is a skeleton now?"  Sigh.  "No Dyl, Jesus is not a skeleton!"

Sweetest

 (2015) I have the sweetest husband in the world ... he's worked all day then helped with the Varsity team dinner then coached Dylan's baseball game until 10:00, and now he's stopping at the store to buy 60 Popsicles for my students tomorrow because I forgot to get them on the way home.  He comes through for me every single day, even when he's super tired.  

Book

 (2011) I gave Lily a new Berenstain Bears book this morning and she gasped real big and said, "Wow! This is my most favoritest book I never seen!"  

NeHi & Boiled Peanuts

Nehi Peach and boiled peanuts.  ♥️♥️ Takes me back to our dating days when Skeet and I stopped along the roadside in the mountains to buy boiled peanuts. He told me I was the only girl he’d ever met who liked boiled peanuts, and I told him he obviously hadn’t been meeting the right girls! 😂 Pretty sure those boiled peanuts are how this Georgia girl captured the heart of one very handsome Georgia boy. ❤️

Ragamuffin

 (2011) Whenever Lily Claire has been outside playing and she looks a mess, I tell her she looks like a little "rag-a-muffin."  Today she had a checkup at the doctor and I told her we needed to brush her hair, to which she replie, "Why?  Am I a "mag -a -ruffin?"  

Literature

 (2016) Helping Bran with a paper for his British Lit class tonight that is about how the Victorian ideals of the time were portrayed in Dickens' Oliver Twist and how he used the novel to attack the Poor Laws of the time, etc.  I am all enthused and loving every second of it and remembering how much I LOVE everything about this time period and topic. Meanwhile, Bran is miserable writing this paper and says to me,"Seriously ...  This is completely useless and and no normal person cares about a bunch of poems that make no sense and all these long, confusing stories ....What kind of weird person would go to college and get a whole degree in this stuff!!?"  Long awkward pause.  "Um.  That would be me, son."  Nice backpedalling, Bran. Yes, he is definitely his father's son.  

Best Friend

 (2010) Lily Claire's teacher told me today that her little two year old classmates were on the floor at circle time and each child in the class was telling about his/her "best friend."  The other kids were naming children in the class as their best friends, but when they got to Lily Claire and asked her who was her best friend, she said "Mama" ... you KNOW I loved that!!!!!!

13

 (2011)Brandon had a GREAT 13th birthday, though I think he fully expected to wake up on that day with a full mustache and a drivers license. Sorry buddy ... Give it a few more years!

24/7

(2016)  Story. Of. My. Life. #24/7 #teenagesons 😂

Cow

(2015) Bran was recounting to me a recent dinner he had at an Italian restaurant.  He said the waitress came and asked him if he wanted a Caesar salad or mixed greens.  He said he knew he didn't like Caesar so he order the mixed greens, not really knowing what it was.  He said in shock, "Mom, when they brought the salad, the leaves were ALL PURPLE!!!!  And then I asked for ranch dressing and they said the dressing was already on it and I couldn't see ANYTHING.  I felt like I was eating grass, like some cow, but I didn't want to say anything and seem rude."  CRACKED me up!!!

Basketball

(2015) I am the WORST basketball mom EVER.  I hate EVERYTHING about it. The uniforms are ugly, the balls thud and echo nonstop, the middle school gym stinks like old sweat socks, we are sitting on the dirty gym floor, balls keep hitting us from all the kids playing around on the sidelines, the buzzer blares in my ears and startles me every single time, the constant ref whistles are shrill and nerve racking, babies are crying, the super enthused mom sitting next to me is screaming "Defense" in a  piercing pitch a dog could hear, the coaches are bellowing "Hands Up" over and over like it's an armed robbery, and if the dad with anger issues next to me shouts,"Make it happen" or "Pass the ball" one more time, I may just lose it.  Did I mention I absolutely HATE it here?? But ... I happen to love one of the players, so here I sit, smiling at Dylan like this is the best place on earth!  Football and baseball I can do, but I'm pretty sure there is a level of hell called "Middle School Rec Basketball," and believe me, that's enough to keep me saved from now to eternity.

Shoes

 I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet  So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Today is definitely NOT the day to walk a mile in Dylan's shoes!

The South

  You know you're in the south when you pass a restaurant called Big D's BBQ Trough situated amongst a trailer park, a baptist church, and Sharky's Firework and Moccasin Emporium.  Now to find that roadside stand of boiled peanuts....

Law

 (2016) ALERT FRIENDS AND FAMILY... Thanks to Lily, I was made aware of an important new law for EVERYONE in America that will apparently go into effect this summer!  Take note!  Wouldn't want to have to make a citizen's arrest ...

Manners

(2016) One of the hallmarks of being a Southern mother .... reminding your kids of every rule of good manners ever known to man while taking them to any event away from home  ... a birthday party, a sleepover, whatever.  The poor kid is trapped in the back seat of the car all the way to their friend's house while you repeat the same age-old list ... "Don't ask for a bunch of food, wait until it's offered ... don't grunt when an adult speaks to you, say Yes M'am and No M'am ... be SURE and say thank you and please ... don't run in their house and wipe your feet on the mat when you go in ... don't act like a buffoon or you'll never be invited again ..."  The kid just nods automatically at every rule you throw out there, like one of Pavlov's dogs hearing a bell for the millionth time.  By the time you pull into the driveway, they can't get out of the car fast enough and the only thing they are thinking is that they sure wish DAD had given them a ride instead of Mom!!!  

Marshmallows

 (2015) Skeet bought Dylan a big bag of mini-marshmallows and now he's the new George Washington Carver of marshmallows!  So far he's had peanut butter, jelly, and marshmallow sandwiches, marshmallow cinammon toast, marshmallow and Cocoa Puffs cereal, marshmallow milk ... you name it and Dylan has put marshamallows on it!

Combo

 (2015 at Myrtle Beach) 

Lily said to me today, "I am sooo glad this combo had a frequency!!!"  Translation: "I am so glad this condo had a vacancy!!!"

Cool

 (2014) Bran just asked me if I would put a mix on his IPod of some cool rock songs he can listen to while he snowboards, WHICH he qualified with "... and NOT YMCA by Various Artists" like last time!"  Excuse me?!    Since when is a generic Drew's Party Hits version of YMCA not cool?!  I personally think that's pretty edgy stuff.  Hahahahahaaaa!

FBI

 (2016) Hmmmm... I wonder what happened to my cute yard decoration?!  NOT that I'm a professional FBI agent or anything, but MAYBE I should interrogate the 17 year old who lives with me who owns a BB gun ... Just a wild shot in the dark! (No pun intended!!!) 

Mystery

(2015) Easter mystery  ... WHY will my children gleefully pick up 100 plastic eggs from the lawn, but groan when they have to pick up one sock off the floor of their room?!  Maybe I should give them cute Easter baskets for collecting their dirty clothes and trash and dishes!  :) 

Rituals

 (2013 I love tucking in my little girl into bed every night.  We have our nighttime rituals before she falls asleep, which always include sipping a small cup of chocolate milk, then pretending we are a mommy and baby bunny in our warm rabbit hole, and then telling the same made-up story together about three kittens who live in a pink and white house and throw a party for all their kitten friends.  I'm going to miss these days!

Car Wash

 I had a sweet memory today. I was cleaning the master bathroom this morning, and as I was scrubbing the sink on Skeet’s side, I noticed all sorts of scratches in the sink. It reminded me that when Brandon was little I used to let him play “car wash” in that sink with his Hot Wheels. He would take all his cars outside and get them real dirty running them through the dirt and grass and then we would line them all up to go into the car wash in sink in the bathroom. He would zoom the cars all around in the bubbles and water and play for hours! Yes, I have scratches all in the marble sink, but I’m glad I do. ❤️ 

Vase

 (2016) You know you live with a 12 year old male when .... you enter his room after a sleepover and find that your flower vase was used as a Coke glass sometime during the night.  One. step. above. animals.  Barely.

Trash

 (2014) OF COURSE on the week that we had a huge anniversary party, did LOADS of yardwork, cleaned out the garage, AND had a kid birthday party, the trash guys FORGET to pick up only OUR trash, which is loaded to the sky!  Know our neighbors are going to be LOVING us tomorrow when it gets super hot outside and "trash mountain" is baking by the curb.  Nice.  Maybe it's some sort of evil, trashman April Fools joke!

Price tags

 (2015) Murphy's Law: Found 24 heavy tea glasses at the Dollar Store today to use on Easter Sunday. Yay! Just finished scraping and scrubbing off 24 sticky price tags that were stuck like glue to the bottom of each one. Boo!! Why does anything need a price tag at the dollar store, anyway?!

Pan

 (2016) Lily just saw this picture of the day she was born and asked, "Why was I in a pan?"  Hahahaa!

Grandparents

 (2015) Today we were going over a reading assignment in class and I skipped one of the questions by accident. One of my students encouragingly said,”It’s ok, Mrs. Taylor, my grandparents make mistakes a lot, too.” Grandparents?! 😂😂😂 Felt a bit older after that comparison!

Lion

 (2020) I had to go by the grocery store tonight and Lily went with me. I was complaining a little to her that I was tired of not being able to find ground beef. Right about that time Lily gasped and spotted this huge beef brisket, something she had never seen before. In all seriousness she turned to me and said, “What in the world?!! They don’t have ground beef, but they have lion?!!” I about died laughing! She had never seen such a big piece of meat and honestly thought it was from a lion!! 😂😂😂 

Tires

 (2013) Got home from the store to see my husband on his hands and knees in our new Indian neighbors' driveway surrounded by their four adorable little girls and their mom.  He was pumping up the tires of all of their bikes and tricycles.  I love that guy.

PGA

(2015)  After 24 years of living with Skeet Taylor, I've been "conditioned" to turn on PGA golf in order to take a Sunday afternoon nap, even when he's not around!  The announcers' low, lulling voices are like Pavlov's bell ... They speak and I instantly fall asleep!

Blind

 (2015) Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Crazy

 True story. Some twenty-something girl behind me on the way home was riding all over my tail and honking at me wanting me to go faster. When we got to the light she pulled up beside me and rolled down her window and started yelling and going berserk! I did not roll down my window or engage with her, but I think when she saw a mad, tired, glaring old lady wearing Piggy and Gerald earrings with a bobblehead felt beagle wearing a sombrero velcroed to the dashboard, she wisely decided to roll up her window and be quiet. She obviously didn’t wanna mess with THAT level of crazy! 😂😂😂😂

The South

 You know you're in the south when you pass a restaurant called Big D's BBQ Trough situated amongst a trailer park, a baptist church, and Sharky's Firework and Moccasin Emporium.  Now to find that roadside stand of boiled peanuts....

Teenagers

 During the summer months, a lot of teenagers are working at the stores and fast food restaurants (my son included), which can sometimes lead to some pretty funny experiences. (To get the full effect here, you have to make the teenager voice below sound like a sort-of clueless surfer dude ...) ANYWAY, the other day, Papaw drove through Sonic to get a large strawberry limeade drink, and after he ordered, the teenage worker piped through the speaker asking, "So ... would you like ketchup and mustard with that, sir?"  Ummm .. no thanks.  Trying to cut back on the ketchup on my limeades these days.   THEN, Bran and I drove through Sonic a few days later and ordered a "vanilla ice cream with hot fudge."  The teenager voice came back through the speaker, "So ... like ... that will be one diet coke with hot fudge?"  Ummm ... no.  We don't usually get hot fudge ON our diet coke.  We were CRACKING up!  Keep up the good work, teenagers!  Feeling real confident about ALL of our futures with you guys next up to run the world.  :

Twins

(2013) Just told Dylan that the panda at the zoo had twins!  "Aren't ALL pandas pretty much twins?"  he asked.  Good point.

Relish

2018) Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 

Snowcones

  I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Retro

 (2011) I guess I've been watching the Retro TV channel too much because tonight Lily Claire said she wanted to watch "Magnum PI."  I about cracked up, since I was expecting her to say "Dora" or "Angelina Ballerina"!!!!

Rubbish

 (2015) So today Lily came running up to me and said, "Mom, you're RUBBISH!"

WHAT?!

"Lily!  That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.

"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"

"It means TRASH!" I said.

Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"

Brilliant

 (2013) Not at my most brilliant ... last night we painted a milk carton for Lily Claire's PreK project with yellow tempra paint, which cracked and fell off over night!  SO, we started over today and I spray painted a new milk jug with yellow spray paint which I had to stop and buy at the hardware store.  When I finished I looked at the finished product and asked myself, "After all that, WHY didn't you just buy a yellow Mayfield jug to begin with?!"  Sigh.  Oh well! :)

Mother Of The Year

 (2015) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...

I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments.  He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month.  I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"  

"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."

She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."

Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."

Wow.  Mother of the Year right here, folks.  Really on top of things!  Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!!  Good grief. :)

Ragamuffin

 (2016) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it!  The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!"  She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga."  Cracked me up!!!

Compliments

 So all my friends out there know that I am married to a WONDERFUL guy and I love him very much! Robert Skeet Taylor  HOWEVER, he has always been NOTORIOUS for some of things he says to me that he THINKS are compliments!  When we were dating, he told me he was glad I wasn't a beauty queen. (Still not sure how THAT was a compliment but it was supposed to be apparently.)  Another time he told me he was glad that no guys looked at me on the beach.  Ummm ... thank you ... I guess??  Well the other night I had been furiously working in the yard for HOURS and when I came inside all bedraggled and a mess, I looked in the mirror and said to him, "Good grief.  I couldn't look any worse if I tried" to which my adoring husband replied, "Oh sweetie, yes you could." Long awkward pause.  WHAT?!!!!!!  And as usual, after twenty minutes of back peddling and explaining, that of course wasn't what he meant!  Geez!  Anyone know where I can sign up an ALMOST perfect husband for eloquence lessons?  I know a guy who needs them!!  :)

Rude

 (2013) Lily Claire asked me, "Does the Easter Bunny come at night while we're sleeping and hide eggs where no on can find them?"

"Yes!" I answered, thinking she'd be delighted.

Frowning, she replied, "That's RUDE!"