Getting Old

You know you're getting old when .... you try and type a text message on your son's very tiny phone WITHOUT your reading glasses and instead of sending a message that says, "We need to check the freeon in the red truck" you send a message that says "We need to heck freeing in the red truck."  Laughed out loud when I got a message back from Skeet that simply said, "WHAT?"

The Skirt

(From 2013) Lily and I were pulling in our garage and our new neighbors were outside ... the dad and two of his children.  Very sweet people!  They are from a Middle Eastern culture and the dad was wearing some sort of traditional clothes/outfit from their country.  Our windows in the car were down and I waved and smiled as we passed them, and so did Lily.  Except she also smiled and happily shouted, "Hello to the dad wearing a skirt!"  Oh lord. I'm pretty sure we've single-handedly set back the status of current world relations.

Tomatoes and Dogs

Last night I watched an old movie and the men kept referring to all the women as "tomatoes" and "dogs"!!! One guy even told a girl she wasn't as much of a dog as he thought she was, and apparently that was a compliment!  Then, the guy's mom, who had a gray bun, glasses,and knitted in a rocking chair the whole movie, was worried that her son would kick her out of the family home when he got married because she was so old.  She then revealed that she was 50!! What??!!!!

Lollipop

(From 2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE rainbow colored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow- colored!"   UG!!

Nick Sabin

This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?
Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!
Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.
Me: Oh.

Dance Fever

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real cute, creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!

Genius

Had NO IDEA that I was raising a child prodigy.  I was getting my nails done yesterday and Lily picked out a color that I actually loved, so I decided I'd use it.  In complete seriousness she said, "Well, I AM sort of a genius about nail polish."  WOW!  Didn't realize I had birthed the Albert Einstein of the nail color world!  Good to know!

Bunny

(From 2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!

Take A Gun

I am watching a cute movie made in 1968 starring James Garner and Debbie Reynolds. They have a teenage son who wants to bum around Europe all summer and the kid just said, "Dad, I will be fine going by myself because I believe that all around the world love and trust protects us all."  The dad replies, "I've been all around the world ... Take a gun."  Cracked me up!!!  Sounds like a conversation that would happen in my house!!!!!

Grammie's Baby

(From 2011) Lily tripped and hurt her knee, then very adamantly informed me, "Mama, you have to cuddle Grammie's baby when she's hurt!"  Three guesses WHO "Grammie's baby" is?  Yes, of course, Lily Claire!

Hang Up

(From 2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Lifetime

So I've decided I'm much more of a Hallmark Channel girl than Lifetime.  Lifetime movies always make me feel creepy and are either scary or depressing, though it's supposed to be a channel that most women love!  I'll stick with the somewhat cheesy, sentimental, feel good Hallmark movies any day! Guess I'll go watch "Operation Cupcake" now rather than "My Teenage Babysitter's Secret Life As An Alcoholic Axe Murderer Who Seduced My Husband's Brother Who Has a Chronic Illness."

Skippy

Dylan, Dylan, Dylan...  I don't know where he comes up with half the things he does or says ... you just NEVER know what is next.  Today at school, his teachers told me that in all seriousness, he has asked all of them to call him by 'the nickname that his entire family calls him' ... "Skippy."  SKIPPY??  I, nor ANYONE in our entire family, has EVER called Dylan "Skippy"!!!!!!  What on earth?!!  He could have at least chosen something a tad less nerdy!!  (From 2014)

Loaf

Ummm.... Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in his bathroom. Boys crack me up!

Face Mask

So we had the Boosterthon Fun Run today at school which was super fun, but by the time I got home, I felt grimy and gross. I decided I'd indulge in a little self repair, including coloring my hair (NOT that I have any gray to cover or anything), taking a hot shower, and trying out this new charcoal face mask product that's supposed to make your skin really clean and soft. I'm doing my thing upstairs and had been settled into our bedroom recliner chair for about 20 minutes, looking quite lovely I might add, in my old robe, glasses, hair coloring goop, and a super thick layer of black charcoal mask drying on my face that's supposed to gently peel off when ready. Now those of you who know my husband, Robert Skeet Taylor, know he is a man of few words. For 26 years he has quietly and patiently put up with all my ideas and antics and shenanigans with school and with the kids, etc, with nothing more than maybe a quiet look of bewilderment or silent resignation. Tonight, however, he walked into our room and took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT is THAT?!!" he asked SUPER loud, looking at my charcoal face. Well, of course, this got me tickled, and when I starting laughing, the whole dried mask cracked and fell off, which I think threw Skeet into further shock!!! So much for trying to have a beauty spa night in peace around here!!!