Retro

(2015) I guess I've been watching the Retro TV channel too much because tonight Lily Claire said she wanted to watch "Magnum PI."  I about cracked up, since I was expecting her to say "Dora" or "Angelina Ballerina"!!!!

SPAM

I have started getting a bunch the weirdest SPAM emails like "Buy Premium Cigars," "Bosley Hair Restoration," "Get Mobile with a HoverRound" and "Meet Single Black Seniors" ... not real sure how I've gotten on some of these particular marketing lists!!

Rubbish

(2016) So today Lily came running up to me and said, "Mom, you're RUBBISH!"
WHAT?!
"Lily!  That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.
"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"
"It means TRASH!" I said.
Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"

Brilliant

(2012) Not at my most brilliant ... last night we painted a milk carton for Lily Claire's PreK project with yellow tempra paint, which cracked and fell off over night!  SO, we started over today and I spray painted a new milk jug with yellow spray paint which I had to stop and buy at the hardware store.  When I finished I looked at the finished product and asked myself, "After all that, WHY didn't you just buy a yellow Mayfield jug to begin with?!"  Sigh.  Oh well! :)

Raggamuffin

(2016) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it!  The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!"  She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga."  Cracked me up!!!

Orthodontist

(2016) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...
I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments.  He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month.  I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"
"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."
She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."
Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."
Wow.  Mother of the Year right here, folks.  Really on top of things!  Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!!  Good grief. :)

Natural

Pretty sure it’s time to schedule an appointment with my hairdresser after a student handed this to me today and said she picked it especially for me because the frosting matches my hair! Wow ... really natural look I apparently have going. 😂😂😂

Hey Mom, I Need Some Food”

I got a text today from Brandon that made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in a long time! So, the other night, very late, he calls me and says, “Mom, I’m hungry after my games. Can you send me some Ramen Noodles and a microwave bowl?” (no ovens in dorms). OF COURSE, what I HEARD was, “Mom, I’m dying of starvation and fading away into nothingingness. I am miserable and alone far, far away. Help me!!!!!” I JUMP onto the computer in the middle of the night and immediately order him four cases of Ramen Noodles, the bowl, AND macaroni and cheese cups, cookies, Sunny Delight, Goldfish, Little Debbie Easter cakes, and a 24 jumbo variety pack of Gatorade, all to be shipped to his dorm ASAP! In my defense, what else could I do after getting what I believed to be a DESPERATE SOS call from my baby who is living far away at college saying he’s HUNGRY (a Southern mother’s WORST NIGHTMARE)! I may have panicked just a little. At any rate, I get this text today from him today with the caption “Hey mom, I need food” and a video of what got delivered to the post office up the street from his dorm today which is now in his tiny car to be hauled back to his tiny room. I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE! Oops. Well, at least I can sleep easy tonight knowing my son is definitely NOT going to be hungry tonight … or for the next six months, apparently!! 😂😂😂

Rude

(2014) Lily Claire asked me, "Does the Easter Bunny come at night while we're sleeping and hide eggs where no on can find them?"
"Yes!" I answered, thinking she'd be delighted.
Frowning, she replied, "That's RUDE!"

Whopper

I am laughing soooooo hard!  Whopper perfume??????????  Dylan would fall instantly in LOVE with any girl who smelled like a Whopper! Haaaa!!!  This is a new product from Burger King Japan!  SO WEIRD!!!!!

Downward Spiral

It's a pretty sure sign that the world is in a serious downward spiral when the news headline of the day is "The Easter Bunny brawls with shoppers at a NJ mall."  Seriously, what is happening to society?!! Or should I say "Hop-pening ..." Hahaaa!!'

Pooped

Puppy nightmare 101 currently happening at the Taylor house ... I didn’t realize Buddy had an accident in the kitchen (💩) and I turned on the Roomba while straightening up downstairs. Unbeknownst to me, the Roomba ran over it and dragged it ALL OVER the kitchen floors and rugs! I have a weak stomach, so cleaning it all up has traumatized me!!  I’m now totally grossed out AND pooped! (pun definitely intended!) 😂😂😂 Thanks, Buddy.  🐶

McWrap

Wow ... some poor McDonalds employee was marching around outside today waving and wearing a huge box costume that said "McWrap." On second thought ... he probably makes more per hour than I do!!! More power to you, Mr. McWrap!

Crumbly Hair

(2012) Lily Claire drew a picture of me tonight ... in the picture, Brandon is on my left and she and Dylan are on my right (just in case you couldn't recognize us for some reason!).  While she was drawing it, she asked  if it was ok if she made me have "purple crumble-y hair" in the picture. Sure! Why not?!

Flaming Squirrel Repellent Sauce

Today's free springtime advice .... never coat all your birdseed with "Coles Flaming Squirrell Repellant Sauce" and then hang your feeder from a very high branch.  Though it sounds unlikely, a big piece of flaming seed WILL fall out of the feeder right into your eye.  Unfortunately I am speaking from painful experience.