True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Monday, April 2, 2018
Pedicure
My husband's MALE comment of the day ... "Why are you going to get a pedicure? Your toes still look pink." (Yes, the old chipped pink polish from a month ago WAS still there, honey.)
Friday, March 30, 2018
Rap
(2012) Bran is singing a super obnoxious "rap" song he's making up about macaroni and cheese and then he informed me that it was only the first verse of this "masterpiece." I am DEFINITELY going to bed now before verse 2 even begins!! (This is the rap so far, "I want macaroni and cheese, I have no keys, cause all my cars are PUSH TO START, I'm not riding in grocery carts") - do you feel my pain?
Mistakes
Today we were going over a reading assignment in class and I skipped one of the questions by accident. One of my students encouragingly said,”It’s ok, Mrs. Taylor, my grandparents make mistakes a lot, too.” Grandparents?! 😂😂😂 Felt a bit older after that comparison!
Thursday, March 29, 2018
PGA
After 26 years of living with Robert Skeet Taylor, I've been "conditioned" to turn on PGA golf in order to take a Sunday afternoon nap, even when he's not around! The announcers' low, lulling voices are like Pavlov's bell ... They speak and I instantly fall asleep!
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
Root Word
(2015) I was teaching my 2nd graders about root words today and when we got to the root "tele," I asked them if they had ever heard a word that used "tele," thinking they'd say "telephone" or "telescope." Without missing a beat, one of my little ones shouted, "Nutella"! (Nu-tele) ... I cracked up!! Not quite ... but very creative!
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Too Loud
Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂
Monday, March 26, 2018
Eloquence
So all my friends out there know that I am married to a WONDERFUL guy and I love him very much! Robert Skeet Taylor HOWEVER, he has always been NOTORIOUS for some of things he says to me that he THINKS are compliments! When we were dating, he told me he was glad I wasn't a beauty queen. (Still not sure how THAT was a compliment but it was supposed to be apparently.) Another time he told me he was glad that no guys looked at me on the beach. Ummm ... thank you ... I guess?? Well the other night I had been furiously working in the yard for HOURS and when I came inside all bedraggled and a mess, I looked in the mirror and said to him, "Good grief. I couldn't look any worse if I tried" to which my adoring husband replied, "Oh, yes you could." Long awkward pause. WHAT?!!!!!! And as usual, after twenty minutes of back peddling and explaining, that of course wasn't what he meant! Geez! Anyone know where I can sign up an ALMOST perfect husband for eloquence lessons? I know a guy who needs them!! :)
Socks
(2012) A conversation with Dylan tonight ...
Me: Dylan, give me your dirty clothes and get in the bath.
Dylan: Mom! Don't wash those socks (the ones he had just taken off) ... I"m going to wear them tomorrow!
Me: No, Dylan! These socks are filthy!
Dylan: No they aren't ... I've only worn them for three days.
Welcome to the world of a nine year old boy. YUCK!!!
Me: Dylan, give me your dirty clothes and get in the bath.
Dylan: Mom! Don't wash those socks (the ones he had just taken off) ... I"m going to wear them tomorrow!
Me: No, Dylan! These socks are filthy!
Dylan: No they aren't ... I've only worn them for three days.
Welcome to the world of a nine year old boy. YUCK!!!
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Retro
(2015) I guess I've been watching the Retro TV channel too much because tonight Lily Claire said she wanted to watch "Magnum PI." I about cracked up, since I was expecting her to say "Dora" or "Angelina Ballerina"!!!!
SPAM
I have started getting a bunch the weirdest SPAM emails like "Buy Premium Cigars," "Bosley Hair Restoration," "Get Mobile with a HoverRound" and "Meet Single Black Seniors" ... not real sure how I've gotten on some of these particular marketing lists!!
Rubbish
(2016) So today Lily came running up to me and said, "Mom, you're RUBBISH!"
WHAT?!
"Lily! That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.
"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"
"It means TRASH!" I said.
Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"
WHAT?!
"Lily! That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.
"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"
"It means TRASH!" I said.
Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"
Friday, March 23, 2018
Brilliant
(2012) Not at my most brilliant ... last night we painted a milk carton for Lily Claire's PreK project with yellow tempra paint, which cracked and fell off over night! SO, we started over today and I spray painted a new milk jug with yellow spray paint which I had to stop and buy at the hardware store. When I finished I looked at the finished product and asked myself, "After all that, WHY didn't you just buy a yellow Mayfield jug to begin with?!" Sigh. Oh well! :)
Raggamuffin
(2016) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it! The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!" She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga." Cracked me up!!!
Orthodontist
(2016) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...
I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments. He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month. I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"
"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."
She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."
Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."
Wow. Mother of the Year right here, folks. Really on top of things! Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!! Good grief. :)
I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments. He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month. I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"
"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."
She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."
Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."
Wow. Mother of the Year right here, folks. Really on top of things! Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!! Good grief. :)
Natural
Pretty sure it’s time to schedule an appointment with my hairdresser after a student handed this to me today and said she picked it especially for me because the frosting matches my hair! Wow ... really natural look I apparently have going. 😂😂😂
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