True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Monday, July 16, 2018
Ancient
What?! Most of the items in the antique store we visited today were from MY teenage years (see exhibit A below)!!! Seriously?!!! Pardon me while I get my ear horn to listen to some ancient Bon Jovi or Van Halen on my Walkman! 😂😂😂
Communication
(2013) Ahhh, yes ... ever since the dawn of time, men have a hard time communicating with women. Today, a little boy at the pool kept wanting to get Lily's attention and play with her in the water. His tactic? Hitting her with a beach ball in the head and getting right in her face and shouting over and over "LET'S PLAY DEAD BABY SHARK!" Needless to say, Lily went kicking away angrily in the OPPOSITE direction with her Mermaid Barbie and My Little Ponies screaming, "NO! I do NOT want to play dead baby shark!!!!" Sorry fella. Better luck next time!
Twins
(2014) Just told Dylan that the panda at the zoo had twins! "Aren't ALL pandas pretty much twins?" he asked. Good point.
Hell
I've died and woken up in hell.
Oh no, wait ... I'm just trying to get my boys to do their summer reading with the dreaded assignments. Same thing, really.
Oh no, wait ... I'm just trying to get my boys to do their summer reading with the dreaded assignments. Same thing, really.
Sky Zone
Last night as we were reminiscing about the day, Dylan says to Lily and me, "Wow ... Sky Zone was so awesome!!! .... Except that one time in dodge ball when some kid pegged me in the jingle bells." Ummm ... Thank you, Daddy Taylor, for teaching the boys such accurate scientific terminology. And thank you, Dylan, for sharing this fascinating tidbit with your mom and sister. 🙄🙄😂😂
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
Put Away
(2011) The boys were gone all week and they joined us today up in the mountains. After about ten minutes of their loud wrestling and goofing around and shouting, Lily Claire ran up to me and asked "Mommy, can we put the boys away now?"
Friday, July 6, 2018
Pockets
Watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and I am here to announce that I hate wedding dresses with pockets. What on earth do you need to carry in a pocket to walk down the aisle?! Chapstick? Bandaids? Your phone??? Hate it. That is all.
Swimmer’s Ear
(2016) Lily came home from the pool last week saying her ear hurt. I told her it was probably water that was still in her ear, which we call "swimmers ear." Tonight Dylan was showing me a tooth that's been hurting him when Lily walked into the room. With great concern and authority she said, "Well, it's probably swimmers tooth. " 😂😂😂
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Citizen’s Arrest
(2014) We bought a special promo cup for Brandon at RaceTrac that you can refill through August 1st for free every time you are there. Today he drove past there and went in to fill his cup and leave. Some older man (another customer) chased him out of the store screaming, "Hey! Hey! You didn't pay for that drink!!! Come back and pay!!!" Bran turned around and said, "It's a promo cup you can refill for free." The guy said, "Oh." and went back in the store. Guess it was a Mango Slushie Citizen's Arrest of some sort! Sheesh! :)
Success
Got tickled today at Walmart observing a teenage worker who was moving so slowly that I was concerned if she even had a pulse! When we encountered her again in the store, I noticed her t-shirt said "Rushing Toward Success." It's going to be a long, long journey at that pace!!! Hahahaaaa!!!
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Artists
I was dusting the boys' room today and couldn't help but notice their clay projects from elementary school art class. Then it struck me .... WHY am I spending so much time worrying about good grades and hoping for sports scholarships when OBVIOUSLY a full ride awaits them in ART SCHOOL?! Donatello and Michelangelo really can't hold a candle to these quality sculptures.
Sunday, July 1, 2018
I Spy
(2012) A glimpse of what it is like to play "I Spy" with Lily Claire ...
LC: I spy with my little eyes something rainbow!
Me: Rainbow? Ok ... (I guess about 20 things that could possibly be "rainbow" and none of them are it) Lily, give me a hint!
LC: Mom, it's rainbow WITH red, white, and blue and stars!
Me: Is it that flag flying outside?
LC: YES!!!
Silly me! I didn't know to look for the "rainbow, red, white, and blue with stars" item first thing!!!
LC: I spy with my little eyes something rainbow!
Me: Rainbow? Ok ... (I guess about 20 things that could possibly be "rainbow" and none of them are it) Lily, give me a hint!
LC: Mom, it's rainbow WITH red, white, and blue and stars!
Me: Is it that flag flying outside?
LC: YES!!!
Silly me! I didn't know to look for the "rainbow, red, white, and blue with stars" item first thing!!!
Friday, June 29, 2018
Jerky
(2015) Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart! He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.) "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat." .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe. Hahahahahaha!!!!!
Unfortunate
(2016) OH NO!!!! Major unfortunate event for today... I was coloring my hair (NOT that I need to cover some gray or anything) and AFTER the 30 minute wait and rinse, I realized I had picked up DARK BROWN at the store instead of DARK BLOND!!! My hair is now darker than my sisters and I am in shock. I wondered why it looked black when I got out of the shower!!! Robert Skeet Taylor, please brace yourself when you get home!!! I am going to have to go get a highlighting kit PRONTO at some remote shopping area where I won't be noticed, except maybe by an Elvis talent scout! Good lord.
Dad
One of life's simple pleasures. ... Calling my dad late each evening just to chat, talk about the weather or what we had for supper, check in on Mom, and laugh about a bunch of goofy stuff! One of the best parts of my day. ❤️
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