Skirt

(2013) Lily and I were pulling in our garage and our new neighbors were outside ... the dad and two of his children.  Very sweet people!  They are from a Middle Eastern culture and the dad was wearing some sort of traditional clothes/outfit from their country.  Our windows in the car were down and I waved and smiled as we passed them, and so did Lily.  Except she also smiled and happily shouted, "Hello to the dad wearing a skirt!"  Oh lord. I'm pretty sure we've single-handedly set back the status of current world relations.

Sealed

(2012) Brandon just asked me how well Obama did in college.  I said nobody knows because his records are sealed.  Bran replied, "I wish MY school records could be sealed."  Cracked me up!!!

Fashionable Styles

Grammie was helping at school today and a little girl in my class asked her to help her spell a difficult word that she wanted to use in her writing.  When Grammie helped spell the word, the little girl smiled real big and said, "Grammie is sooooo smart and awesome ... AND she has fashionable styles!"  Cracked us up!!!  We girls know what's important!!

Tomatoes and Dogs

Last night I watched an old movie and the men kept referring to all the women as "tomatoes" and "dogs"!!! One guy even told a girl she wasn't as much of a dog as she thought she was, and apparently that was a compliment!  Then, the guy's mom, who had a gray bun, glasses,and knitted in a rocking chair the whole movie, was worried that her son would kick her out of the family home when he got married because she was so old.  She then revealed that she was 50!! What??!!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Homework

Lily was sitting on the couch reading a history article for school about cattle drives.  Out of nowhere, Buddy leaped up and tore off a hunk of the article paper and ate it!! We are in hysterics because we just witnessed a dog ACTUALLY eating homework!!! 😂😂😂 

Rainbow

(2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Trained

I already have Buddy perfectly trained. He’s spending this lazy Sunday afternoon riveted to The Love Boat! I knew he was a genius! Obviously the apple doesn’t fall far ... 🐶🐶😂😂

Crisis

I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Waxing

I hate when I go to get my eyebrows done, as I did today, and the lady asks, "Your lip? your lip?" meaning, do I want my upper lip waxed. I always say "no thank you" and then the lady shakes her head and looks at me with shock and despair like she's looking at some huge, shaggy mustache on my face!  It makes me so paranoid!!!  Here's how I think I look and then how the waxing lady makes me THINK I look leaving the shop!!!!

Jaguar

So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Gun

I am watching a cute movie made in 1968 starring James Garner and Debbie Reynolds. They have a teenage son who wants to bum around Europe all summer and the kid just said, "Dad, I will be fine going by myself because I believe that all around the world love and trust protects us all."  The dad replies, "I've been all around the world ... Take a gun."  Cracked me up!!!  Sounds like a conversation that would happen in my house!!!!!

Sport Talk

(2014) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?
Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!
Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.
Me: Oh.

Sweet Talk

(2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!

Brown

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!

Football

Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.