Reindeer

So the guy in the Hallmark Christmas movie I’m watching just said that to find true love you must go into the wilderness under a full moon and spot a reindeer together.  Would a possum or raccoon count? Otherwise I don’t think there’s much chance of finding true love here in Georgia! 😂😂😂

Fluff

I just feel the need to say that I hate any Christmas movie that (A) has the same day repeating itself over and over again until the character learns some lesson, (B) stars Meredith Baxter Bernie, or (C) involves any type of storyline where someone is sick and the whole town rallies to give them one last tear-jerking holiday. All I want is complete, total, 100% predictable, happy fluff for the holidays! NO REALITY, PLEASE!  I know I can always count on you, Hallmark Channel.

Dead

(2012) Tonight we walked all around Bass Pro Shop with the kids and Dylan kept trying to scare Lily about the "stuffed" taxidermy-ish animals that were all around.
She screamed when he shouted, "Look, Lily, there's a REAL bear ... but he's DEAD!!!!!" And, of course, there stood a huge, growling bear on its hind feet staring down at us.
 "Dylan," I scolded, "Stop telling Lily that the animals are 'dead'. You are scaring her!"
 I should have known better. The next thing we passed was a huge "stuffed" moose. When Lily cringed at the sight of it, Dylan whispered reverantly, "Lily, there's a REAL moose ... but it passed away." Only Dylan.

Sign

(2013) Dylan keeps going in Lily's room to jump and wrestle around and he keeps messing up her bed and knocking over all her dollhouse furniture, etc.  She is getting REALLY mad about it, so tonight, this sign (meant for Dylan) was hanging on her door!  I laughed out loud!  It says, "You are not allowed in my room ever again!" Ah, yes, ... brotherly/sisterly love.

Sign

Economics

(2014) Shoot me now ... Dylan "forgot" to tell me about a test he has tomorrow in economics until ten o'clock tonight. Nothing like a grumpy, tired mom trying to teach a grumpy, tired eleven year old about command and market economies and the factors that affect the Gross National Product at eleven at night.  Ug! Is it Thanksgiving break yet??

Balloon

Someone felt the need to put a helium balloon that said "Get Well Soon" on a dead dear on the side of the road! Sick humor, I know, but I am cracking up!!! 😂😂😂

Bible

(2016) Laughing so hard after talking to Bran tonight!  He had to take his final in Bible class today and he didn't realize until yesterday that part of the exam was to write down all the books of the Bible in order!!  He said exhausted, "Mom.  I was up all night singing some song I found of all the books of the Bible and I had to sing it like 1800 times all night long to remember them!!!"  The mental image of that had me rolling ... and think about his poor roommate!!! He's up for sainthood after putting up with that all night!!

Torture

(2013) Hahahahahaaa!  It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV.  I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise."  For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel!  With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of  Mr. Miyagi advice.  Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... :)  I'm STILL laughing!!

Mini Me

(2013) This is Lily pretending to be me, reading glasses and all!  She's just about got it right ... just needs a few more dark circles under her eyes from exhaustion!  Ha! Ha!

Heaven

Lily and I are snuggled in our PJs tonight sipping hot chocolate with rainbow colored marshmallows ... pretty close to heaven on earth, I'd say!

Hero

How to be a hero in two easy steps...
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂

Hot Rod

(2017) My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)!  That was proven yet again this weekend!  Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed.  I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags!  And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator!  Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?!  Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning!  And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom!  Can I please get my car back now?  Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!

Woo

(2012) Wow ... I came out of work today and noticed my car was parked in a different spot.  When I got in I saw that Skeet had come and gotten my car while I was teaching an afterschool club and got the emissions done, an oil change, and filled it up with gas.  Now THAT is how to woo a woman!

Fluffy

(2012) The boys have been picking on their poor baby sister tonight ... she decided her new name is "Fluffy" but they keep "forgetting" to call her that and are calling her "Gaylord" and "Achmed" and "Red Hot Joe" and a host of other names that are making her VERY mad!!!  I hate to say it, but I'm cracking up! "Fluffy", however, is NOT laughing!

Whistle

(2013) Whoever gave Dylan a basketball ref whistle that's been blowing nonstop since 7 AM better sleep with one eye open tonight ...