Mean

(2013) As we were all getting ready for bed tonight, we were talking about all of our Valentines and cupcakes and chocolate and fun from the day.  Dylan asked Skeet,"So how was YOUR Valentine party at work?"  Skeet said, "We didn't have one."  Dylan said, "WHAT?  What did you do all day?"  Skeet replied, "Work."  Dylan angrily replied, "That is MEAN!  I am NEVER working there!"

Peppermint

I made the HUGE mistake of putting Peppermint scented lotion on my feet tonight before bed! Buddy has been licking my feet nonstop and there’s no escape!! It’s tickling me to death and would be super annoying if it weren’t so darn funny!!  #puppyproblems

Freshen Up

(2011) Me:  Lily, let's go upstairs and freshen up before we go to Bran's basketball game.
Lily:  Ok, Mama ... let's freshen down, too!

Pink Chicken

(2012) Lily Claire has been sick this week so as we were snuggling in her bed and she asked me to tell her a story.  When I asked what story she wanted, she replied, "The Pink Chicken Who Has To Do Everything."  Finally figured out she meant "The Little Red Hen"!  I'm feeling a bit like that pink chicken myself these days!

Heartache

(2014) Poor Dyl .. he was so excited that his basketball team was in the playoffs for the championship game, and when they lost tonight, he was SO crushed.  Fortunately, being an eleven year old boy, he was feeling better after a warm bath, an episode of Spongebob, and a surprise run to McDonalds before bedtime by good old Mom for chicken nuggets and a root beer.  Wish I could keep him this age forever and all his heartaches would be that easy to mend.  Sure love that kid.

Compliment

(2014) I received the HIGHEST compliment possible from a nine year old boy last night.  Before going to bed, Dylan hugged me and said, "Mom, I love you more than baseball."  WHOA!  That's huge!

Acne

My funny school story for today… I was giving the kids their spelling test at the end of the day and I didn’t have on my reading glasses. I was very surprised when the next spelling word on the list was “acne.” That seemed to be a little weird on a third grade spelling list. When I read the sentence that was printed with the word, it got even weirder. Reading directly from the spelling sheet paper, I reluctantly said, “OK, the next word is ‘acne’ and the sentence is ‘The older I get the more my body is full of acne,’ said grandpa.”
I then stopped again and looked up at the kids and said, “Wow, that’s a really gross sentence for our spelling test! What on earth?!”
By this point the kids were dying laughing! “No!!” they all shouted, “Mrs. Taylor, the word isn’t “acne”, it’s “ache”!! Then I started dying laughing! The sentence was supposed to say that grandpa had aches all over his body, not acne!!! 😂😂😂 Guess next time I’ll take an extra moment to find my reading glasses BEFORE giving the spelling test!!! #Neveradullmoment

Laughs

(2014) It's about two minutes before bedtime and Lily asks me if she could tell me just one more quick thing before bed.
"Sure," I said sleepily. "What is it?"
"Will you listen to my top 100 laughs and tell me which is the best one?"
Ummm ... no, Lil. Let's save that for your next spend the night with Grammie!!  Hahaaaaa!!

Frankly My Dear ...

(2014) I have TOTALLY failed as a good Southern mother.
I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature).  At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color."  I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."
Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"
After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"
"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right?  It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something?  Right?"
Oh. my. lord.
"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."
Bran, "Never heard of it."
WHERE did I go wrong?!  I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it.  All.four.hours.

Quiet Time

(2013) This evening I kept nicely telling Lily that I needed some "quiet time" (since she talks to me nonstop 24 hours a day)!  After about five minutes of quiet, she informed me that now SHE needed some "loud time."  Sigh.

Tobacco

Today my students were learning about the early American Southern colonies and how they planted tobacco crops in order to make a profit. The discussion about tobacco led to a further discussion about how we now know that tobacco is harmful for you and it’s something that you should stay away from. In all seriousness, one of my little boys raised his hand and said, “Yes because it is very spicy and the peppers can burn your throat!” It was at that point I realized that during the entire discussion he thought we were talking about Tobasco instead of tobacco! 😂😂😂

Pretty Words

(2012) Oh dear.  Lily Claire came skipping up to me in her PJs all ready for bed and proudly told me that she had already said her goodnight prayers by herself.  She said, "And, Mama, I only used pretty words when I talked to God like flowers and butterflies, not ugly words like shut- up or booty."  All I could manage to say was, "Well, I'm sure God appreciated that.”

Breakfast

(2013) When I woke up this morning, I saw on my nighstand that Dylan and Lily Claire had served me a fantastic breakfast in bed!  Just because all the food was either wood or plastic from Lily's pink kitchen in her room was quite alright!

Wealth Management

Dear Wells Fargo,
Thank you for your diligence in having my back with your daily "wealth management" email alerts. Considering that ..
1.  I'm a teacher
2.  I have a son in college
3.  It's basketball AND baseball season
4.  Christmas was last month,
5.  and we got paid six weeks ago ...
my current "wealth management" today was a staggering $3.15.  Is it time to roll over or diversify?  Kudos for keeping my amassed wealth protected and managed! Trying really hard not to spend all my wealth in one place before pay day!

Survival

Skeet and I are watching a survival show called "Dude You're Screwed" where these Navy Seal guys kidnap you and drop you in some impossibly hard survival situation.  The guy in this episode is British and was dropped at the top of a glacier in Alaska, 200 miles from anything.  Skeet said, "That would be fun to try."  I said, "I'd just roll up in a ball and die in the ice."