Shoes

(2014) I have to share my "Mother of the Year" story from this week. I have been crowned once again.   I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet  So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Yes, once again, I am Mother of the Year!  What can you do but laugh?!

Crossfit

I'm pretty sure I just completed an entire CrossFit routine trying to get on my black tights to wear with my dress tonight. I'm exhausted now.

Coyote

We got a message from our HOA that a coyote was spotted walking around our neighborhood!  Yikes!  Guess the Roadrunner will be the next to move in!

Fluff

Oops ... I had set up to record some shows on a retro channel and accidentally recorded 69 episodes of Love American Style!! Hahaaaa!  I've actually enjoyed watching a few of them tonight ... pure fluff is right up my alley!

Mean

(2013) As we were all getting ready for bed tonight, we were talking about all of our Valentines and cupcakes and chocolate and fun from the day.  Dylan asked Skeet,"So how was YOUR Valentine party at work?"  Skeet said, "We didn't have one."  Dylan said, "WHAT?  What did you do all day?"  Skeet replied, "Work."  Dylan angrily replied, "That is MEAN!  I am NEVER working there!"

Peppermint

I made the HUGE mistake of putting Peppermint scented lotion on my feet tonight before bed! Buddy has been licking my feet nonstop and there’s no escape!! It’s tickling me to death and would be super annoying if it weren’t so darn funny!!  #puppyproblems

Freshen Up

(2011) Me:  Lily, let's go upstairs and freshen up before we go to Bran's basketball game.
Lily:  Ok, Mama ... let's freshen down, too!

Pink Chicken

(2012) Lily Claire has been sick this week so as we were snuggling in her bed and she asked me to tell her a story.  When I asked what story she wanted, she replied, "The Pink Chicken Who Has To Do Everything."  Finally figured out she meant "The Little Red Hen"!  I'm feeling a bit like that pink chicken myself these days!

Heartache

(2014) Poor Dyl .. he was so excited that his basketball team was in the playoffs for the championship game, and when they lost tonight, he was SO crushed.  Fortunately, being an eleven year old boy, he was feeling better after a warm bath, an episode of Spongebob, and a surprise run to McDonalds before bedtime by good old Mom for chicken nuggets and a root beer.  Wish I could keep him this age forever and all his heartaches would be that easy to mend.  Sure love that kid.

Compliment

(2014) I received the HIGHEST compliment possible from a nine year old boy last night.  Before going to bed, Dylan hugged me and said, "Mom, I love you more than baseball."  WHOA!  That's huge!

Acne

My funny school story for today… I was giving the kids their spelling test at the end of the day and I didn’t have on my reading glasses. I was very surprised when the next spelling word on the list was “acne.” That seemed to be a little weird on a third grade spelling list. When I read the sentence that was printed with the word, it got even weirder. Reading directly from the spelling sheet paper, I reluctantly said, “OK, the next word is ‘acne’ and the sentence is ‘The older I get the more my body is full of acne,’ said grandpa.”
I then stopped again and looked up at the kids and said, “Wow, that’s a really gross sentence for our spelling test! What on earth?!”
By this point the kids were dying laughing! “No!!” they all shouted, “Mrs. Taylor, the word isn’t “acne”, it’s “ache”!! Then I started dying laughing! The sentence was supposed to say that grandpa had aches all over his body, not acne!!! 😂😂😂 Guess next time I’ll take an extra moment to find my reading glasses BEFORE giving the spelling test!!! #Neveradullmoment

Laughs

(2014) It's about two minutes before bedtime and Lily asks me if she could tell me just one more quick thing before bed.
"Sure," I said sleepily. "What is it?"
"Will you listen to my top 100 laughs and tell me which is the best one?"
Ummm ... no, Lil. Let's save that for your next spend the night with Grammie!!  Hahaaaaa!!

Frankly My Dear ...

(2014) I have TOTALLY failed as a good Southern mother.
I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature).  At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color."  I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."
Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"
After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"
"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right?  It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something?  Right?"
Oh. my. lord.
"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."
Bran, "Never heard of it."
WHERE did I go wrong?!  I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it.  All.four.hours.

Quiet Time

(2013) This evening I kept nicely telling Lily that I needed some "quiet time" (since she talks to me nonstop 24 hours a day)!  After about five minutes of quiet, she informed me that now SHE needed some "loud time."  Sigh.

Tobacco

Today my students were learning about the early American Southern colonies and how they planted tobacco crops in order to make a profit. The discussion about tobacco led to a further discussion about how we now know that tobacco is harmful for you and it’s something that you should stay away from. In all seriousness, one of my little boys raised his hand and said, “Yes because it is very spicy and the peppers can burn your throat!” It was at that point I realized that during the entire discussion he thought we were talking about Tobasco instead of tobacco! 😂😂😂