The South

You know you're in the south when you pass a restaurant called Big D's BBQ Trough situated amongst a trailer park, a baptist church, and Sharky's Firework and Moccasin Emporium.  Now to find that roadside stand of boiled peanuts....

YMCA

(2015) Bran just asked me if I would put a mix on his IPod of some cool rock songs he can listen to while he snowboards, WHICH he qualified with "... and NOT YMCA by Various Artists" like last time!"  Excuse me?!    Since when is a generic Drew's Party Hits version of YMCA not cool?!  I personally think that's pretty edgy stuff.  Hahahahahaaaa!

Mystery

Easter mystery  ... WHY will my children gleefully pick up 100 plastic eggs from the lawn, but groan when they have to pick up one sock off the floor of their room?!  Maybe I should give them cute Easter baskets for collecting their dirty clothes and trash and dishes!

Rituals

(2013) I love tucking in my little girl into bed every night.  We have our nighttime rituals before she falls asleep, which always include sipping a small cup of chocolate milk, then pretending we are a mommy and baby bunny in our warm rabbit hole, and then telling the same made-up story together about three kittens who live in a pink and white house and throw a party for all their kitten friends.  I'm going to miss these days!

Male

My husband's MALE comment of the day ... "Why are you going to get a pedicure?  Your toes still look pink."  (Yes, the old chipped pink polish from a month ago WAS still there, honey.)

April Fools

OF COURSE on the week that we had a huge anniversary party, did LOADS of yardwork, cleaned out the garage, AND had a kid birthday party, the trash guys FORGET to pick up only OUR trash, which is loaded to the sky!  Know our neighbors are going to be LOVING us tomorrow when it gets super hot outside and "trash mountain" is baking by the curb.  Nice.  Maybe it's some sort of evil, trashman April Fools joke!

Sleepover

(2016) You know you live with a 12 year old male when .... you enter his room after a sleepover and find that your flower vase was used as a Coke glass sometime during the night.  One. step. above. animals.  Barely.

Blind

Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Spam

I have started getting a bunch the weirdest SPAM emails like "Buy Premium Cigars," "Bosley Hair Restoration," "Get Mobile with a HoverRound" and "Meet Single Black Seniors" ... not real sure how I've gotten on some of these particular marketing lists!!

Raggamuffin

(2014) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it!  The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!"  She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga."  Cracked me up!!!

Mother of the Year ... again

(2014) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...
I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments.  He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month.  I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"
"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."
She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."
Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."
Wow.  Mother of the Year right here, folks.  Really on top of things!  Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!!  Good grief.

Old

You know you’re getting old when first, your third graders can actually sucker you into letting them form a rock collection all along the top of your teacher laptop keyboard at school and second, when you put your reading glasses on and realize that for all these weeks, one of the treasured “rocks” in the collection is actually an old piece of fried Chick-fil-A chicken  from a biscuit you ate at your desk in January.
 #teacherlife
#cantmakethisstuffup

McWrap

Wow ... some poor McDonalds employee was marching around outside today waving and wearing a huge box costume that said "McWrap." On second thought ... he probably makes more per hour than I do!!! More power to you, Mr. McWrap!

Punch

(2012) Lily Claire just told me that if I don't wear green today, a leprechaun will PUNCH me! I said, "No, he won't!  That's not nice!"  Lily Claire insisted that's what her teacher said!  Then it dawned on me she meant the leprechaun would PINCH me! For a minute, I thought we had an violent leprechaun running around here somewhere!

Poor Papaw

(2013) Poor Papaw!!!  Dylan went over to his house today to play for a while (and to give Mom a break!) and Papaw ended up pitching him 300 wiffle balls AND playing a few rounds of basketball with him in the three hours he was there!  I'm sure Dylan was in HEAVEN .... Papaw, not so much!!!