True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Ritual
(2017) Some traditions never die no matter how old you get ... pjs, the inflatable mattress, and Spongebob episodes at midnight. Still an honored Taylor summertime ritual!
Monday, June 17, 2019
Ditch
Why, yes, I did have to park on a big, soggy grass hill for the swim meet this morning, and YES, my car did get COMPLETELY stuck in a MUD DITCH on the way out!!!! I literally could not go forward or backward and mud was flying everywhere!!! It looked like I was trying to be some sad version of the Dukes of Hazzard! Thankfully, Brandon Taylor came to my rescue and had to PULL me out with a big rope hooked on to the Jeep Wrangler, with me in my car trying to move the wheels, while he shouted directions! Good grief! Never a dull moment with the Taylors, folks!
Haute Cuisine
Well, the boys have opened my eyes to a whole new world of haute cuisine tonight! Who knew that Taco Bell had tacos with nacho cheese or cool ranch Dorito shells? They must be good with as much as the boys begged me to go get them some!
Milkshake
Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Brandon apparently doesn't know his own strength! We drove through Sonic for him to get a milkshake and when the lady handed it to him out the window he accidentally crushed the entire cup and the shake went all over his arm and hand! I am STILL laughing!!!!!!!!!!
Bidocals
Well everyone .... It has begun. My descent into the golden years. After a visit to the eye doctor today, I am the proud new owner of ....BIFOCALS!!! What???!!!!! How did this happen?? Well, at least my new lenses have NO lines and my new frames have lots of sparkly rhinestones! May as well "bling out" those golden years as much as possible and enjoy the ride!
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Hershey Bar
Remember that I mentioned that it is 102 degrees here in Myrtle Beach? I just discovered that Lily left a half eaten Hershey bar in the back seat of my car two days ago ....
Fireflies
Wow! My backyard is twinkling and shimmering with oodles of fireflies! #southernsummernight
Date
(2014) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck?
Me: Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..
Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me) ...
Me again: and ..
Bran: (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!! I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me: I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale: All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck?
Me: Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..
Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me) ...
Me again: and ..
Bran: (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!! I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me: I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale: All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.
Friday, June 14, 2019
Weird
Robert Skeet Taylor and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none! Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!! Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Stuck
(2012) After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!). Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!! I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice. I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?" GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!
Xbox
(2012) Mark this day down in family history ... Bran is letting Lily lay in his room with him AND use his Xbox to watch a Dora the Explorer Goes to the Beach movie!
Big Brother Babysitter
(2014) Bran was a smashing success as a babysitter for Lily tonight! They watched Spongebob, ate fettuccine noodles that Bran made, and caught lightning bugs in a jar. Lily had a blast! Good job Bran!
Conversations
(2014) Conversations with Lily are always interesting! A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!! A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!! A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"
Epic
(2014) Eleven year old boys crack me up! Dyl has three neighborhood friends over for an impromptu sleep over and they are playing video games, playing with old plastic wrestlers from eBay, and eating hamburger helper on paper plates. I just heard one of the boys say, "This sleepover is EPIC! The best one EVER!" AND, apparently, my trash can lid that opens and closes by itself is "SICK" ... which is a HUGE compliment in "boy world!" Please don't be jealous, other moms, of how awesome I am. Hahahaaaaa!!!
Summertime
(2018) Five fifteen year old boys + four pizzas + ten Gatorades + one basketball = summertime at the Taylor house ❤️🙂☀️🍕🏀
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