Browning

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.
Grammie:  A brownie sticker?
Brandon:  No, BROWNING.
Grammie:  What is Browning?
Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.
Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)
Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)
Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!
Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.
Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!
Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Heaven

(2012) I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Melted

We took Bran to a Japanese restaurant last weekend and it reminded me of a hilarious story. When Dyl was about four, he was terrified of the big fire at the hibachi grill at our local Japanese restaurant. While the cook was preparing the grill, Dylan was happily playing with this super cheap, large plastic tiger we’d gotten at the Dollar Store. When the big fire ensued, Dyl was cringing and obviously really frightened so the cook guy was trying to reassure him and make him feel better.  To be funny, he took Dylan’s tiger and waved it through the flames saying that the fire was not scary and wouldn’t hurt him. We were all laughing and smiling during this display UNTIL he handed the big plastic tiger back to Dyl and the whole face had melted off in the flames!!! You should have seen the look on Dylan’s face!! 😂😂😂 I still laugh out LOUD remembering how shocked we all were, including the chef guy,  at the melted tiger blob he pulled from the flames! We bring it up EVERY TIME we eat Japanese food, and crack up every time!!!

Robbers

(2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Lobster

I was at the dollar store this evening picking up a few items for my class. A man in the store was literally yelling at the top of his lungs to his wife across the store,”THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! “ As if that wasn’t weird enough, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what the dollar store was passing off as “lobster” in those frozen one dollar packs of egg rolls! Sounds like a food poisoning fiasco waiting to happen… 🤢  Pretty sure eating the glue sticks I was purchasing would’ve been a safer bet than ingesting those hideous eggrolls! 😂😂😂 #lobsterimposter 🦞

Summer Reading

(2015) Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Whiskey

(2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Relish

Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!
🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Lucky

I am one lucky gal to come home EVERY evening after all these years and be COMPLETELY idolized and adored and smothered with undying love and kisses; to have a best friend who NEVER leaves my side, loves and appreciates everything I cook for dinner (even if it’s reheated McDonald’s chicken nuggets from lunch), hangs on my every word, AND watches Hallmark movies with me without EVER complaining or changing the channel to ESPN ... yes, indeed, you are the BEST puppy ever, Buddy Taylor!! (What? You thought I was talking about someone else???Robert Skeet Taylor 😂😂😂)

Princess

(2010) Lily Claire went to her preschool today while I worked in my room at school.  A mom came in to help in Lily's class and when she asked Lily her name, Lily answered, "My name is Princess ..."  :)  Oh dear!

Run

(2012) Recieving the "mother of the year" award again today (hope you note the sarcasm there)!!!  Went to a different Walmart than our usual one and proceeded to march Lily Claire straight into the MEN'S RESTROOM!  It was on the left where the WOMEN'S restroom is at OUR Walmart and did I read the sign? Of course not!!!  Lily Claire stopped in her tracks and stared at the urinal and asked, "What do we do?"  "RUN!!!!!"  I said.  Thank the LORD there was no one in there or we both would have been scarred for life, I'm sure!!!  😂😂😂

California

My first words in California in the place where we are having lunch, "Do y'all have sweet tea?" Hahaaaa!  You can take the girl out of the South ....

Music

Lily confirmed today that I am successfully raising her to be a true "girl raised in the South."  She came into my room today and said, "Mom, put on some awesome music on your Ipod!"  "Like what?" I asked.  "Like country!" she said.  Did my heart good!

God

(2012) Lily Claire asked me if God could hear us.  I said, 'Yes, God always hears us and watches after us and takes care of us and loves us!"  Lily replied, "No He doesn't ... that's what MOMS do!"  :)

Airport

Robert Skeet Taylor and I have a joke because no matter where we travel, I ALWAYS get picked to get the extra airport security scans. ALWAYS. I must be very suspicious looking!!  Hahahaaaa!  Anyway, today, OF COURSE I got chosen for a "chemical wand" scan on my palms, waist, and shoes.  That's me ... Always covered head to toe with bomb residue!  And I ALWAYS make my bombs wearing lime green cardigan sweaters and rhinestone covered flip flops!  Hahahaha!  Really???  :)