Sleeve

(2016) Nothing like having your 17 year old son wake you up on vacation to show you all his plans and ideas for the "sleeve tattoo" he is NOT getting.  I told him he could choose food or a tattoo.  :)  Every day is an adventure around here.

Torture

(2016) Hahahahahaaa!  It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV.  I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise."  For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel!  With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of  Mr. Miyagi advice.  Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... :)  I'm STILL laughing!!

Hot Rod

(2017) This memory made me laugh out loud ... Brandon Taylor
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)!  That was proven yet again this weekend!  Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed.  I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags!  And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator!  Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?!  Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning!  And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom!  Can I please get my car back now?  Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!

Hero

How to be a hero in two easy steps...
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂

Alternate Universe

(2014) I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning!  I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive.  If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc.  Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead.  When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me!  Scared me to DEATH!  I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!!  Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!  :)

Clear

The lady next me at the Nail Shop is showing impressive restraint! We are both getting a pedicure and while my person is slathering “Ultra Neon Pink Bubblegum Pop Fantasmic” polish on MY toes, the lady next to me just ordered “clear, because it’s winter.”  I can guarantee I will NEVER EVER pick clear, even when I’m dead!  Life is too short for clear, folks. 😂😂😂

Ronald

I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning!  I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive.  If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc.  Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead.  When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me!  Scared me to DEATH!  I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!!  Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!

Ballot

A funny memory from a prior voting day...
Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS!  He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices!  He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one!  I'll probably win!!!!  🙂

Fifty Shades

So glad I FINALLY got to color my hair today before it got the starring role in 50 Shades of Blond, Orange, Gold, and Gray!!! 😂😂

Awkward

(2011) It's official ... Skeet has been out of town WAY too much the past few months.  How do I know this?  Because tonight a very scraggly pizza delivery man with a white stubble beard and no teeth came to the door, and Lily ran down the hall towards him screaming "Daddy".  Nice awkward moment for Mommy, to say the least!

Mommy Days

(2011) Lily Claire has started calling the weekends "Mommy Day" since we get to hang out together without going to school!  I love it!  Looking forward to several fun "Mommy Days" with my girl this weekend!

Grammie

(2012) Had Mom and Dad over tonight for BBQ sandwiches and to watch football/The Good Witch movie from Hallmark!  I had even MORE fun watching Lily Claire and Grammie play ... they read Berenstain Bear books, wrote a LONG Christmas list to Santa, played princess and fairy dolls, played an Alphabet game...  Lily Claire was in heaven!  She was so sad to see them go home ... but she gave Grammie an apple to take home as a present.

CrossFit

(2013) Driving Bran up to CrossFit tonight ... I'm going to sit in the car and eat a cookie while I wait for him.  Hahahahahaaa!!!!

Bitter

(2014) REALLY?!  I arrange a RARE free Saturday night with all the kids taken care of so I can surprise Robert Taylor  with a date ... I can't even remember our last date night!  I'm thinking dinner ... a movie ...a stroll around B&N ... ice cream ... Now he reminded me that he will be out of town Saturday night, taking Bran to a baseball showcase in Tennessee.  I am bummed.  And to top it off, after 24 years with one guy, I really have no other prospects to be my date on Saturday night!!  Sheesh. Guess I'll stay home and wash my hair and be very bitter! :)

Discount Tires

(2016) Today I had to take my car to Discount Tires to get a tire replaced that had a nail in it.  (Me + Discount Tires is already the beginning of a horror story in my book.)  At any rate, though the guy helping me was super nice, I just wanted to get in and out of there with a fast quote on how much it would cost to order my new tire so Robert Skeet Taylor could go get it later.  Unfortunately, Enthusiastic Tire Guy had different plans.  He proceeded to teach me everything I never wanted to know about tires and tire pressure.  He showed me a whole bunch of stickers on the inside of my car door that I didn't care about, he told me all sorts of numbers for correct air pressure in my tires, he showed me a bunch of charts about green, yellow, and red tire tread zones, and then he talked for over thirty minutes about the Georgia Bulldogs and their football season.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there are any TWO things in the WORLD that I have NO interest in AT ALL, it's CAR PARTS AND SPORTS TEAMS. Though I smiled and said "cool" to this barrage of "fun facts," I began secretly wishing I had nails in my ears instead of my tire!  For that hideous hour, I truly thought the Ascension had happened and I had not been chosen, because I'm pretty sure I got a glimpse of HELL today at Discount Tires. 😂😂