Cow

(2014) Bran was recounting to me a recent dinner he had at an Italian restaurant.  He said the waitress came and asked him if he wanted a Caesar salad or mixed greens.  He said he knew he didn't like Caesar so he order the mixed greens, not really knowing what it was.  He said in shock, "Mom, when they brought the salad, the leaves were ALL PURPLE!!!!  And then I asked for ranch dressing and they said the dressing was already on it and I couldn't see ANYTHING.  I felt like I was eating grass, like some cow, but I didn't want to say anything and seem rude."  CRACKED me up!!!

Doubles

Dylan hit four doubles in his games yesterday… he’s now playing baseball the same way that he eats! 🍔🍔🍔🍔⚾️❤️😂
#DT #favoriteshortstop

Invest

I am cracking up that beside my $10.01 balance in my savings account, Wells Fargo posted a big red-flag notice that says IT’S TIME TO INVEST! In what??? Some items from the Dollar Store?! 😂😂😂 #wrongcustomer

Marshmallows

(2010) Skeet bought Dylan a big bag of mini-marshmallows and now he's the new George Washington Carver of marshmallows!  So far he's had peanut butter, jelly, and marshmallow sandwiches, marshmallow cinammon toast, marshmallow and Cocoa Puffs cereal, marshmallow milk ... you name it and Dylan has put marshamallows on it!

YMCA

(2014) Bran just asked me if I would put a mix on his IPod of some cool rock songs he can listen to while he snowboards, WHICH he qualified with "... and NOT YMCA by Various Artists" like last time!"  Excuse me?!    Since when is a generic Drew's Party Hits version of YMCA not cool?!  I personally think that's pretty edgy stuff.  Hahahahahaaaa!

Mystery

Easter mystery  ... WHY will my children gleefully pick up 100 plastic eggs from the lawn, but groan when they have to pick up one sock off the floor of their room?!  Maybe I should give them cute Easter baskets for collecting their dirty clothes and trash and dishes!

Scratches

I had a sweet memory today. I was cleaning the master bathroom this morning, and as I was scrubbing the sink on Skeet’s side, I noticed all sorts of scratches in the sink. It reminded me that when Brandon was little I used to let him play “car wash” in that sink with his Hot Wheels. He would take all his cars outside and get them real dirty running them through the dirt and grass and then we would line them all up to go into the car wash in sink in the bathroom. He would zoom the cars all around in the bubbles and water and play for hours! Yes, I have scratches all in the marble sink, but I’m glad I do. ❤️

Blind

Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Starving

I got a text today from Brandon that made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in a long time! So, the other night, very late, he calls me and says, “Mom, I’m hungry after my games. Can you send me some Ramen Noodles and a microwave bowl?” (no ovens in dorms). OF COURSE, what I HEARD was, “Mom, I’m dying of starvation and fading away into nothingingness. I am miserable and alone far, far away. Help me!!!!!” I JUMP onto the computer in the middle of the night and immediately order him four cases of Ramen Noodles, the bowl, AND macaroni and cheese cups, cookies, Sunny Delight, Goldfish, Little Debbie Easter cakes, and a 24 jumbo variety pack of Gatorade, all to be shipped to his dorm ASAP! In my defense, what else could I do after getting what I believed to be a DESPERATE SOS call from my baby who is living far away at college saying he’s HUNGRY (a Southern mother’s WORST NIGHTMARE)! I may have panicked just a little. At any rate, I get this text from him today with the caption “Hey mom, I need food” and a video of what got delivered to the post office up the street from his dorm  which is now in his tiny car to be hauled back to his tiny room. I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE! Oops. Well, at least I can sleep easy tonight knowing my son is definitely NOT going to be hungry tonight … or for the next six months, apparently!! 😂😂😂

Compliments

So all my friends out there know that I am married to a WONDERFUL guy and I love him very much! Robert Skeet Taylor  HOWEVER, he has always been NOTORIOUS for some of things he says to me that he THINKS are compliments!  When we were dating, he told me he was glad I wasn't a beauty queen. (Still not sure how THAT was a compliment but it was supposed to be apparently.)  Another time he told me he was glad that no guys looked at me on the beach.  Ummm ... thank you ... I guess??  Well the other night I had been furiously working in the yard for HOURS and when I came inside all bedraggled and a mess, I looked in the mirror and said to him, "Good grief.  I couldn't look any worse if I tried" to which my adoring husband replied, "Oh sweetie, yes you could." Long awkward pause.  WHAT?!!!!!!  And as usual, after twenty minutes of back peddling and explaining, that of course wasn't what he meant!  Geez!  Anyone know where I can sign up an ALMOST perfect husband for eloquence lessons?  I know a guy who needs them!!

Old

You know you’re getting old when first, your third graders can actually sucker you into letting them form a rock collection all along the top of your teacher laptop keyboard at school and second, when you put your reading glasses on and realize that for all these weeks, one of the treasured “rocks” in the collection is actually an old piece of fried Chick-fil-A chicken  from a biscuit you ate at your desk in January. 😂😂😂 #teacherlife
#cantmakethisstuffup

Waste

A typical Skeet/Jen conversation last night, this time about Buddy…

Skeet, disgustedly looking at a new chew toy that Buddy had already destroyed: Look at this! Buddy has already torn this thing to shreds!!!
Jen: You’re mad that he chewed up a chew toy? Think of all the fun he had tonight playing with it!
Skeet: That is a huge waste of money!
Jen: Is it a huge waste of money when you chew up a cookie?
Skeet: (Silent resignation) Buddy continues happily chewing.
😂😂😂🐶🐶🐶❤️❤️❤️
Bless this poor man who has put up with me, three children, and two dogs for 29 years!

Expensive

Having a Mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper",  eating "Whales" instead of "Goldfish", buying "Hydrox Cremes" instead of "Oreos" and having conversations like this one today after school ...
Bran: Mom, can we drive through Sonic? I'm starving.
Me:  No, Sonic is too expensive and I don't have any coupons.  I'll have to go where there's a $1 menu.
Bran: Coupons?!  But you have a twenty dollar bill in your wallet!
Me: Yeah, but it has to last me to the end of the month.
Bran:  It's ok, Mom, that's what DAD is for. (loved that logic!)
Me:  Um, don't tell Dad, but this IS his 20 dollar bill!
Bran (after long pause): Well then ...bring on the $1 menu!

Scarred

Those who know me will attest to the fact that I'm adventurous and will try just about anything once (exempting anything illegal  or immoral! 😉).  However, I am NOT AT ALL adventurous when it comes to food, especially any kind of weird meat.  I can't stand those TV shows where they go to some foreign place and eat a lot of "local delicacies."  I get nauseous within the first five minutes. SOOOO, considering that, I made the ABSOLUTE WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE tonight when I stopped in a food store near my house in the name of expediency that I've never been to before  (store name withheld so I don't hurt anyone's feelings). Y'all .... I should have trusted my instincts when my stomach lurched the moment  we walked In the door. The smells and atmosphere were horrendous, and I didn't recognize even one brand name or food item I'd ever seen before in my life.  As I intrepidly headed toward the meat section to find some simple meatloaf Ingredients, I kept getting queasier and queasier.  I was desperately scanning for ANY  meat I could even identify!  I am not kidding when I say that there were packages of huge wrapped hooves that looked like they were from a big cow or buffalo or something, and big slabs of grayish looking meat wrapped in strings that made my stomach churn. The capper was when I peered down into a refrigerated bin and staring back at me were about six frozen WHOLE lambs heads still with frozen fuzzy wool on them, wrapped in some yellowish cling wrap!  I seriously had to grab Lily's hand and run out of the store before I was completely ILL.  What a nightmare!!  What on earth possessed me to go into a sketchy meat shop to begin with?!  I got OUT OF THERE as fast as I could. Remind me next time to PLEASE take the extra turn into Kroger where I can rest assured that some big frozen animal face won't be greeting me from the meat counter and we won't have to stir-fry giant horse hooves for dinner. I am scarred for life, and Robert Skeet Taylor can't quit laughing at my horrible ordeal!

Around Here

While riding with Bran in his truck today, he turned to me and said, "Hank Williams Jr. A Country Boy Can Survive.  Best. Song. EVER."  Yup.  He's from around here.