Babysit

(2015) Bran is babysitting LIly for me tonight for the first time while I go with Skeet to a business dinner.  When we were in the car, I told him, "Bran, you'll get paid $5 an hour for babysitting tonight." From the backseat Lily said, "So Bran has to pay me $5 to babysit me?"  Not quite, Lily!!

Teenagers

During the summer months, a lot of teenagers are working at the stores and fast food restaurants (my son included), which can sometimes lead to some pretty funny experiences. (To get the full effect here, you have to make the teenager voice below sound like a sort-of clueless surfer dude ...) ANYWAY, the other day, Papaw drove through Sonic to get a large strawberry limeade drink, and after he ordered, the teenage worker piped through the speaker asking, "So ... would you like ketchup and mustard with that, sir?"  Ummm .. no thanks.  Trying to cut back on the ketchup on my limeades these days.   THEN, Bran and I drove through Sonic a few days later and ordered a "vanilla ice cream with hot fudge."  The teenager voice came back through the speaker, "So ... like ... that will be one diet coke with hot fudge?"  Ummm ... no.  We don't usually get hot fudge ON our diet coke.  We were CRACKING up!  Keep up the good work, teenagers!  Feeling real confident about ALL of our futures with you guys next up to run the world.  :)

Future

(2012) Lily Claire informed me today that she is going to grow up and be a "gorgeous fairy", have a wedding, and have a little baby named Pinky Flower.  She's got her future all mapped out apparently!

Jingle Bells

(2016) Fellow moms out there will know that, every now and then, those "teachable moments" crop up when we can impart some sort of "life lesson" or "wisdom of the ages" to our children.   Case in point, the other day, Dylan and I were in a store, and he had to wait outside of the ladies room for me.  I told him to stay right by the cart and keep a careful eye on my wallet and keys while I dashed in and out. When I came out of the restroom, he had done just fine and had been sitting there, diligently holding my wallet in his hands.

As I was saying, "Good job" it dawned on me that I also needed to impart one more bit of motherly advice in this moment.  So I added, "Now you know, Dylan, if someone had come by and tried to take that wallet from you, I would want you to just give it to the guy so you would be safe.  I'd rather you be safe than worry about my wallet.  Anything in the wallet can be replaced, but you are irreplaceable."

Looking confused, Dylan responded, "So I should just GIVE the guy the wallet if he tries to steal it from me?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that my impromptu life lesson was obviously a smashing success.

"That's not what Daddy said to do,"  Dylan replied.

My heart warmed in that moment as I realized that Robert Skeet Taylor, too, had taken it upon himself to pass along some fatherly advice to Dylan about this very thing.  "Good job, Daddy," I smiled and thought to myself as I waited for Dylan to elaborate with some timeless nugget of fatherly wisdom.

"No," Dylan continued cheerfully, "Daddy said that if someone ever tried to steal something from me, I should kick the guy in the jingle bells and run like crazy."

Long silence (by me, as I am now speechless) ......  as I stare at a proud, grinning Dylan.

You know, somehow I just don't recall any such father/son wisdom between Andy and Opie or Ward Cleaver and the Beaver, or even one single "jingle bells" episode of  "Father Knows Best"...  I mean, imagine that!  Leave it to the sheer eloquence of the Taylor men of MY household.  Skeet Taylor ... REALLY?!!!  :)

Summer

You know it’s summer when your Walmart cart contains Scrabble, bubbles, water balloons, popsicles, and Cheese Puffs! 😂😂😂

Crayons

(2013) Lily is definitely my child ... she is sitting beside me playing with her crayons but she has them all lined up in a row and has named all of them.  They are apparently a crayon family and they are all talking to each other.  Sophie, the pink crayon, is especially talkative and is telling all the other crayons what to do!  I am cracking up!

Cheap

I have been crowned “mother of the year” yet again! Today I was at the Dollar Store loading up my cart with snacks for my kids to munch on at the pool. I headed over to the pet aisle and was about to put some doggy treats into my cart for Buddy. I stopped myself thinking, “Ewww, no. I don’t want Buddy to eat anything from the cheap Dollar Store! It might be gross or make him sick!” Then, without hesitation, I proceeded to the checkout to buy all the snacks for my OWN CHILDREN to eat ... from the cheap Dollar Store!! 😂😂😂 Sorry, kids ... I guess Buddy lives a little more high on the hog than you three!! 😂😂😂😂 #bestmomever
#buddyisthefavorite

Summertime

(2013) Summertime is in full swing at the Taylor house ... Bran has three friends over after baseball practice to "hang out" and eat pizza and Lily Claire has two little friends from the neighborhood up in her room playing princesses and eating sandwiches.  In another hour or so, we'll head out to watch Dylan's baseball game this evening.  Good times!

ESPN

(2013) I am cracking up at Brandon because he is OUTRAGED that ESPN is showing some international spelling bee instead of baseball.  A cruel twist of fate for a 15 year old boy stuck at home this evening!  Hahahahaha!!!

Southern

(2013) I am definitely raising a Southern girl!  I just asked Lily Claire what she wanted for a snack and she answered, "Yo-Grits", which is what she thought was the name for "yogurt."  Love it!

Bloated

(2013) Dylan and Lily are going to watch a Lego Batman movie and they want me to get out the air mattress for them to lay on while they watch.  Lil just came running into my room and said, "Mom!  We need to get the air mattress all bloated up!"

Sweating

(2013) Had a lunch date with the kids after the puppet show this morning!  They wanted to go to McDonalds so they could also play on the playground.  When we first got there, I told them to go play, but within a few seconds Lily had come back to the table. In an APPALLED voice she told me, "I do NOT want to play in there right now because there is a kid in there who is SWEATING!"  Well, heaven forbid.  Once the offensive "sweat-er" left, she decided she'd go on in and play!  Good grief!!  After that, she and Dyl had a good time in the playground pretending to be a magic princess and a mean bear on the prowl ... all I know is there was a lot of squealing and running and growling going on in there!  Sure hope there was no SWEATING going on!

Isaac

I am cracking myself up at how happy I am being in my PJs watching Love Boat reruns after a fun day at the pool with my kids!  Doesn't take much for my contentment ... now if Isaac could just bring me a smoothie from the Alcapulco lounge, life would be perfect!  Hahahaaa!

Breach

One of my favorites...
Ok, really?!  We went out for lunch today and a lady stopped to admire some jewelry I was wearing.  As I am about to say "thank you" for her nice compliment, Robert Skeet Taylor shouts out, "It's not real."  Seriously???   Woman code 101 has just been seriously breached. Why don't you go ahead and tell the whole place that I have fake highlights in my hair from a drugstore box and my glowing complexion comes from a tube and that it's not my real figure because I have on a tummy control shaper under my dress?!  Any man in his right mind should know you DO NOT spill the time honored "woman" secrets!  Honestly.  Men are from another planet. 😂😂👽

Float

This dude at the pool keeps yelling at his middle school daughter to be careful on her pool float so she doesn’t knock into other people, but instead of yelling “be careful” he keeps screaming “be situationally aware.” Ummmm ... ok. 😂😂😂. #cooldadaward