Relish

(2018) Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!
🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Floor

(2017) Life with Brandon Taylor 101:  if your mom piles all the clothes, socks, hats, food wrappers, and Gatorade bottles from your floor to your bed, don't do something ridiculous like put it all away. Just sleep on a tiny open space on the floor instead. 🙄 #collegestudentlogic

Super Old

Bran was telling me tonight about some car show he had been watching on TV and he said, "Cool, Mom, they totally remodeled this REALLY SUPER, SUPER OLD, OLD CAR so it looks good now ... it was some car made in the 1970s!"  Um .. thanks, Bran.

Cleaners

Embarrassing moment of the day:  I took some clothes from our trip to the dry cleaners and obviously had not done a good job of sorting out the clothes in my suitcase when we got back.  Point in case:  after I dropped off the clothes to be cleaned, the nice, Indian dry cleaner man chased me down in the parking lot to return a pair of my underwear and a bra I had mixed in with the dry cleaning.  Nice.

Communication

(2013)

Ahhh, yes ... ever since the dawn of time, men have a hard time communicating with women.  Today, a little boy at the pool kept wanting to get Lily's attention and play with her in the water.  His tactic?  Hitting her with a beach ball in the head and getting right in her face and shouting over and over "LET'S PLAY DEAD BABY SHARK!"  Needless to say, Lily went kicking away angrily in the OPPOSITE direction with her Mermaid Barbie and My Little Ponies screaming, "NO!  I do NOT want to play dead baby shark!!!!"  Sorry fella.  Better luck next time!

Twins

(2013) Just told Dylan that the panda at the zoo had twins!  "Aren't ALL pandas pretty much twins?"  he asked.  Good point.

Faulty

(2014) The faulty brain waves of sixteen year old boys, as evidenced by my conversation with Bran in the truck tonight ...
Me:  We're going to have a Fourth of July party at our house.
Bran:  When?

Beef Jerky

(2016) Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Grandma

We were at Chili’s tonight and the young waitress looked at Skeet and said, “Here’s your ribs, sir.” Then she looked at Lily and said, “And here’s your chicken pasta.” Then she put my plate in front of me and sweetly said, “And here’s fajitas for grandma.”  What?! Seriously? #thisreallyhappened #NOtip  😧😂

Jesus

(2014) A little theology with Lily on the ride home today ... her questions ...
Does God ever spill anything?
If God gets thirsty and has to go get a drink, is He still watching you?
Are there roller skates in heaven?
Does Jesus eat steak?

Hmmmm ... good questions!  I think my answers were no, yes, yes, and yes.  I mean, is it really heaven without steak and roller skaters??  I think not!

Errands

Robert Skeet Taylor and I were running errands today and we pulled into PGA Golf store.
"Come in with me," he said. "There's LOTS of cool stuff to look at in here!"
After approximately three minutes inside the store I realized I had been a victim of fake news. 😂😂😂

102

(2014) Remember that I mentioned that it is 102 degrees here in Myrtle Beach?  I just discovered that Lily left a half eaten Hershey bar in the back seat of my car two days ago ....

Fireflies

Wow! My backyard is twinkling and shimmering with oodles of fireflies! #southernsummernight❤️

Date

(2014) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck?
Me:  Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: AND put on deodorant ....
Me again: and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ,,,
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...
Me again: and ..
Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Stuck

(2012) After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!).  Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!!  I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice.  I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?"  GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!