Snow Cones

 I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Fan

 I am cracking up ... I "liked" a page that said "Like if you are a Jason Aldean fan."  Well now I'm a "fan" of some page called "I Love Southern Boys" and there hasn't been ONE post about Jason Aldean, but there's been about 100 posts of photos of muscle-y cowboys with no shirts on!  Not exactly what I thought I was signing up for!!!!!!  I kept scrolling down my page wondering, "WHO is sending me all these cowboy pictures?!!!" 😂😂😂

Mars and Venus

 Funny memory from a few years back ... Brenda J Boone Klaas

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.

Grammie:  A brownie sticker?

Brandon:  No, BROWNING.

Grammie:  What is Browning?

Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.

Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)

Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)

Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!

Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.

Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!

Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Heaven

 Love this from when the Dyl was about 8...

I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Meow

 (2016) Lily sang along PERFECTLY with every single country song that came on in the car today as we were running errands ... Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan ... the only problem was that instead of the lyrics to the songs, she would sing "meow" to EVERY SINGLE WORD!  It was her day to be a "kitty" and I thought I would lose my mind on what became the longest car ride in history!  

Japanese

 We took Bran to a Japanese restaurant last weekend and it reminded me of a hilarious story. When Dyl was about four, he was terrified of the big fire at the hibachi grill at our local Japanese restaurant. While the cook was preparing the grill, Dylan was happily playing with this super cheap, large plastic tiger we’d gotten at the Dollar Store. When the big fire ensued, Dyl was cringing and obviously really frightened so the cook guy was trying to reassure him and make him feel better.  To be funny, he took Dylan’s tiger and waved it through the flames saying that the fire was not scary and wouldn’t hurt him. We were all laughing and smiling during this display UNTIL he handed the big plastic tiger back to Dyl and the whole face had melted off in the flames!!! You should have seen the look on Dylan’s face!! 😂😂😂 I still laugh out LOUD remembering how shocked we all were, including the chef guy,  at the melted tiger blob he pulled from the flames! We bring it up EVERY TIME we eat Japanese food, and crack up every time!!!

Robbers

 (2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Lobster

I was at the dollar store this evening picking up a few items for my class. A man in the store was literally yelling at the top of his lungs to his wife across the store,”THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! “ As if that wasn’t weird enough, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what the dollar store was passing off as “lobster” in those frozen one dollar packs of egg rolls! Sounds like a food poisoning fiasco waiting to happen… 🤢  Pretty sure eating the glue sticks I was purchasing would’ve been a safer bet than ingesting those hideous eggrolls! 😂😂😂 #lobsterimposter 🦞

Unicorn

(2012) In all seriousness, Lily Claire just came up to me and said, "Mom, do you remember that time that me you, Daddy, Dylan, Bran, Grammie, and Papaw were all riding on that unicorn one day?" .... ummmm... I"m not quite remembering that as much!

Badge

(2014) I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!

Summer

(2010) Watched the boys playing baseball in the cul de sac tonight as the sun went down and listened to Lily giggling and running around the house  ... love these summer evenings

Relish

(2018) Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!
🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

Floor

(2017) Life with Brandon Taylor 101:  if your mom piles all the clothes, socks, hats, food wrappers, and Gatorade bottles from your floor to your bed, don't do something ridiculous like put it all away. Just sleep on a tiny open space on the floor instead. 🙄 #collegestudentlogic

Super Old

Bran was telling me tonight about some car show he had been watching on TV and he said, "Cool, Mom, they totally remodeled this REALLY SUPER, SUPER OLD, OLD CAR so it looks good now ... it was some car made in the 1970s!"  Um .. thanks, Bran.

Cleaners

Embarrassing moment of the day:  I took some clothes from our trip to the dry cleaners and obviously had not done a good job of sorting out the clothes in my suitcase when we got back.  Point in case:  after I dropped off the clothes to be cleaned, the nice, Indian dry cleaner man chased me down in the parking lot to return a pair of my underwear and a bra I had mixed in with the dry cleaning.  Nice.