Grocery Store

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!  

Felony

 Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Sabin

This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I seriously hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad and actually ridiculous if he was still in college that long without graduating.”

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Phone

 You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Brown

 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 

Pinball Wizard

 Jesus take the wheel ... and the radIo station controls PLEASE!!!! Robert Skeet Taylor is blasting hideous 70s music from HIS era all the way up to see Bran in Royston!!! What the heck is The Pinball Wizard and can it please go away FOREVER???!!!! 😂😂😂

Prodigy

 (2014) 

“Had NO IDEA that I was raising a child prodigy.  I was getting my nails done yesterday and Lily picked out a color that I actually loved, so I decided I'd use it.  In complete seriousness she said, "Well, I AM sort of a genius about nail polish."  WOW!  Didn't realize I had birthed the Albert Einstein of the nail color world!  Good to know!”

Mom

 Story of my life ... I’m sure many of you can relate!!! 😂😂😂

Bacteria

 Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"

Snow Cones

 I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Fan

 I am cracking up ... I "liked" a page that said "Like if you are a Jason Aldean fan."  Well now I'm a "fan" of some page called "I Love Southern Boys" and there hasn't been ONE post about Jason Aldean, but there's been about 100 posts of photos of muscle-y cowboys with no shirts on!  Not exactly what I thought I was signing up for!!!!!!  I kept scrolling down my page wondering, "WHO is sending me all these cowboy pictures?!!!" 😂😂😂

Mars and Venus

 Funny memory from a few years back ... Brenda J Boone Klaas

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.

Grammie:  A brownie sticker?

Brandon:  No, BROWNING.

Grammie:  What is Browning?

Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.

Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)

Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)

Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!

Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.

Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!

Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Heaven

 Love this from when the Dyl was about 8...

I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Meow

 (2016) Lily sang along PERFECTLY with every single country song that came on in the car today as we were running errands ... Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan ... the only problem was that instead of the lyrics to the songs, she would sing "meow" to EVERY SINGLE WORD!  It was her day to be a "kitty" and I thought I would lose my mind on what became the longest car ride in history!