Directions

 You know you’re in the South when the focal point for all spoken directions of the day starts with, “Well first take a right at the cheese straw stand...”  #yellowdaisyfestival #goodtimes

Fruit Loops

 (2013) Dylan was trying to entice Lily to come upstairs to play this morning.  When she wouldn't come, he made a trail of her favorite cereal, Fruit Loops, that went from the family room and up the stairs to her room for her to follow/eat her way upstairs.  It worked!!  

Illegal

 Dear Middle School teachers, 

Please excuse my daughter if she was extremely sleepy in your classes today. Apparently she stayed up half the night writing an impassioned essay entitled “Why School Should Be Illegal.” 😂😂😂 (true story, folks)

Rainbow

A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Rap

Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...

I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).

Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?

Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!

Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.

I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Grocery Store

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!  

Felony

 Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Sabin

This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I seriously hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad and actually ridiculous if he was still in college that long without graduating.”

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Phone

 You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Brown

 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 

Pinball Wizard

 Jesus take the wheel ... and the radIo station controls PLEASE!!!! Robert Skeet Taylor is blasting hideous 70s music from HIS era all the way up to see Bran in Royston!!! What the heck is The Pinball Wizard and can it please go away FOREVER???!!!! 😂😂😂

Prodigy

 (2014) 

“Had NO IDEA that I was raising a child prodigy.  I was getting my nails done yesterday and Lily picked out a color that I actually loved, so I decided I'd use it.  In complete seriousness she said, "Well, I AM sort of a genius about nail polish."  WOW!  Didn't realize I had birthed the Albert Einstein of the nail color world!  Good to know!”

Mom

 Story of my life ... I’m sure many of you can relate!!! 😂😂😂

Bacteria

 Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"