Cologne

 (2013) I was getting Skeet a new bottle of his cologne that I like called Gray Flannel and this was seriously what it said on the product description ... "Launched by the design house of Geoffrey Beene in 1976, Grey Flannel for Men is recommended for romantic use."  Hahahahaaa!!!  I'll be sure Skeet reads those directions ... I'll be expecting a romantic dinner for two and some roses once he sprays some on!!  

Rap Song

 (2012) Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...

I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).

Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?

Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!

Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.

I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Sports

 (2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Hoard

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!  :)

Emergency

 (2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Super Bowl

 (2018) Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Tired

 (2018) You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Makeup

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 😂😂 

Bamboozled

 (2013) I think I'm being bamboozled ... Lily crawled in my bed tonight and said, "See how much I love you, Mama, that I want to sleep in here with you, rather than all alone in my own room?"  Of course, after looking at her little face, it worked. :)

Tattoo

 (2016) Hilarious teacher moment today ... My skirt today had a slit on the side and one of my 4th grade girls saw the unsightly veins on the side of my calf and said, "COOL TATTOO, MRS. TAYLOR!" Nice.  I am now WAY cooler than I thought I was!  Hahaaaaaaa!!!!

Loaf

 (2016) Ummm.... Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in his bathroom. Boys crack me up!

Charcoal

 (2019) A favorite... 😂😂😂

After a long week, I decided I looked like I’d been run over by a truck, so I decided I'd indulge in a little self repair, including coloring my hair (NOT that I have any gray to cover or anything), taking a hot shower, and trying out this new charcoal face mask product that's supposed to make your skin really clean and soft. I'm doing my thing upstairs and had been settled into our bedroom recliner chair for about 20 minutes, looking quite lovely I might add, in my old robe, glasses, hair coloring goop, and a super thick layer of black charcoal mask drying on my face that's supposed to gently peel off when ready. Now those of you who know my husband, Robert Skeet Taylor, know he is a man of few words. For 28 years he has quietly and patiently put up with all my ideas and antics and shenanigans with school and with the kids, etc, with nothing more than maybe a quiet look of bewilderment or silent resignation. Tonight, however, he walked into our room and took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT is THAT?!!" he asked SUPER loud, looking at my charcoal face. Well, of course, this got me tickled, and when I starting laughing, the whole dried mask cracked and fell off, which I think threw Skeet into further shock!!! So much for trying to have a beauty spa night in peace around HERE!!! 😂😂😂

Commitment

 (2018) Being the non-sport person that I am, I may not have ever really WATCHED any of the kids’ football or baseball games in the past 15 years, but I’ve been a world champ at eating concession-stand cheese fries. Pretty proud of that long standing commitment to my children. 😂😂😂

Redneck

 (2020) You know you might be a redneck if…

You’re laying in bed almost completely asleep and your husband walks in the bedroom and ask if you’re awake. When you say yes, he responds, “Oh good! Try one of these new barbecue chips” and then you proceed to actually eat one from some bag he’s holding over you while you’re laying in your bed in your PJs in the dark. Yes, that really did just happen in the Taylor household! 😂😂😂😂 Robert Skeet Taylor