Pink

 (2012) Stopped to get my toes done after school today and sat next to the sweetest older lady.  She laughed at the very bright pink polish going on my toes and told me she only dared wear neutral colors on her nails.    She kept looking and looking at my polish and finally I said, "Go ahead!! Try the hot pink!  You only live once!"  And she did!!!!  We both walked out of there with the brightest pink toes you've ever seen and that sweet, little lady was grinning ear to ear!  Love it!!!!

Hives

 (2020) When you’re itching and  think you have hives from all the stress you’ve been under and then you realize it was just a bunch of crumbled Pringles that fell down your blouse at lunch…😂😂😂 #teacherlife2020

Grooming

 (2020) I just got an offer from a pet website to send me a 128 page book about grooming my dog at home. What on earth?!!! All I do for Buddy is slop some dog shampoo and water on him in the tub then brush him. Buddy must be missing out on the other 127 pages of grooming! 😂😂🐾🐾

Storm

 (2019)  Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days due to bad storms. Our conversation ...

Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?

Bran: No, I'm staying here. 

Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?

Bran: Yeah, I'm ready. 

Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?

Bran: I bought a kite ... 

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Rainbow

 (2013) A funny Dylan memory ...

A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Lip

 I hate when I go to get my eyebrows done, as I did today, and the lady asks, "Your lip? your lip?" meaning, do I want my upper lip waxed. I always say "no thank you" and then the lady shakes her head and looks at me with shock and despair like she's looking at some huge, shaggy mustache on my face!  It makes me so paranoid!!!  Here's how I think I look and then how the waxing lady makes me THINK I look leaving the shop!!!!

Cologne

 (2013) I was getting Skeet a new bottle of his cologne that I like called Gray Flannel and this was seriously what it said on the product description ... "Launched by the design house of Geoffrey Beene in 1976, Grey Flannel for Men is recommended for romantic use."  Hahahahaaa!!!  I'll be sure Skeet reads those directions ... I'll be expecting a romantic dinner for two and some roses once he sprays some on!!  

Rap Song

 (2012) Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...

I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).

Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?

Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!

Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.

I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Sports

 (2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Hoard

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!  :)

Emergency

 (2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Super Bowl

 (2018) Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Tired

 (2018) You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Makeup

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 😂😂