Price tags

 (2015) Murphy's Law: Found 24 heavy tea glasses at the Dollar Store today to use on Easter Sunday. Yay! Just finished scraping and scrubbing off 24 sticky price tags that were stuck like glue to the bottom of each one. Boo!! Why does anything need a price tag at the dollar store, anyway?!

Pan

 (2016) Lily just saw this picture of the day she was born and asked, "Why was I in a pan?"  Hahahaa!

Grandparents

 (2015) Today we were going over a reading assignment in class and I skipped one of the questions by accident. One of my students encouragingly said,”It’s ok, Mrs. Taylor, my grandparents make mistakes a lot, too.” Grandparents?! 😂😂😂 Felt a bit older after that comparison!

Lion

 (2020) I had to go by the grocery store tonight and Lily went with me. I was complaining a little to her that I was tired of not being able to find ground beef. Right about that time Lily gasped and spotted this huge beef brisket, something she had never seen before. In all seriousness she turned to me and said, “What in the world?!! They don’t have ground beef, but they have lion?!!” I about died laughing! She had never seen such a big piece of meat and honestly thought it was from a lion!! 😂😂😂 

Tires

 (2013) Got home from the store to see my husband on his hands and knees in our new Indian neighbors' driveway surrounded by their four adorable little girls and their mom.  He was pumping up the tires of all of their bikes and tricycles.  I love that guy.

PGA

(2015)  After 24 years of living with Skeet Taylor, I've been "conditioned" to turn on PGA golf in order to take a Sunday afternoon nap, even when he's not around!  The announcers' low, lulling voices are like Pavlov's bell ... They speak and I instantly fall asleep!

Blind

 (2015) Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Crazy

 True story. Some twenty-something girl behind me on the way home was riding all over my tail and honking at me wanting me to go faster. When we got to the light she pulled up beside me and rolled down her window and started yelling and going berserk! I did not roll down my window or engage with her, but I think when she saw a mad, tired, glaring old lady wearing Piggy and Gerald earrings with a bobblehead felt beagle wearing a sombrero velcroed to the dashboard, she wisely decided to roll up her window and be quiet. She obviously didn’t wanna mess with THAT level of crazy! 😂😂😂😂

The South

 You know you're in the south when you pass a restaurant called Big D's BBQ Trough situated amongst a trailer park, a baptist church, and Sharky's Firework and Moccasin Emporium.  Now to find that roadside stand of boiled peanuts....

Teenagers

 During the summer months, a lot of teenagers are working at the stores and fast food restaurants (my son included), which can sometimes lead to some pretty funny experiences. (To get the full effect here, you have to make the teenager voice below sound like a sort-of clueless surfer dude ...) ANYWAY, the other day, Papaw drove through Sonic to get a large strawberry limeade drink, and after he ordered, the teenage worker piped through the speaker asking, "So ... would you like ketchup and mustard with that, sir?"  Ummm .. no thanks.  Trying to cut back on the ketchup on my limeades these days.   THEN, Bran and I drove through Sonic a few days later and ordered a "vanilla ice cream with hot fudge."  The teenager voice came back through the speaker, "So ... like ... that will be one diet coke with hot fudge?"  Ummm ... no.  We don't usually get hot fudge ON our diet coke.  We were CRACKING up!  Keep up the good work, teenagers!  Feeling real confident about ALL of our futures with you guys next up to run the world.  :

Twins

(2013) Just told Dylan that the panda at the zoo had twins!  "Aren't ALL pandas pretty much twins?"  he asked.  Good point.

Relish

2018) Lily and I were at Kroger yesterday, and I was buying some egg salad at the deli. I said to Lily that I hoped it didn’t have relish in it because I don’t like relish.
Lily: What’s relish?
Me: It’s sort of like chopped up pickles. I don’t like it.
Lily: Oh! It’s what Papaw puts on his hot dogs!
Me: Yes!
Lily: No, I don’t like relish. And I don’t like hot dogs either!
Me: You don’t like hot dogs??
Lily: No. Well ... I guess if it was the Great Depression I’d eat one, but otherwise no.
😂😂😂😂 Ok! Good to know we have our Great Depression plan in place!!

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 

Snowcones

  I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Retro

 (2011) I guess I've been watching the Retro TV channel too much because tonight Lily Claire said she wanted to watch "Magnum PI."  I about cracked up, since I was expecting her to say "Dora" or "Angelina Ballerina"!!!!

Rubbish

 (2015) So today Lily came running up to me and said, "Mom, you're RUBBISH!"

WHAT?!

"Lily!  That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.

"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"

"It means TRASH!" I said.

Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"