Headache

 (2012) Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Fake News

 Robert Skeet Taylor and I were running errands today and we pulled into PGA Golf store. 

"Come in with me," he said. "There's LOTS of cool stuff to look at in here!"

After approximately three minutes inside the store I realized I had been a victim of fake news. 😂😂😂

Outraged

 (2020) Just went to Chick-fil-A and was OUTRAGED to find out they don’t make large sized milkshakes anymore. Just small. This seems unAmerican. 😂😂😂 I mean, Lord knows I don’t NEED a large … but still. 😂😂😂

Date

(2016) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...

Me: What time is the movie?

Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck? 

Me:  Sure. Do you have money?

Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!

Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...

Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...

Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..

Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...

Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)

Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...

Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...

Me again: and ..

Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!

Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility. 

Bran: Defeated sigh. 

The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Purist

Skeet and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Summertime

 (2012) I can tell it's summertime when my Walmart bill includes bubbles, suncatchers, fingerpaint, Captain Crunch, and Hi Ho Cherry-O!

Brothers

 (2013) Life with two brothers means that everything gets eaten or used up before Lily Claire can get to it, most of the time!  Whenever we buy chocolate milk or doughnuts or ANYTHING, it is usually all gone by the next day when Lily is looking for it, because the boys have gotten to it first.  It makes her really mad!  Anyway, she went into the pantry this week and the light bulb had burned out.  She came out with her hands on her hips, scowling, and said, "Great!  Now the brothers have used up all the electricity, too!"

Lucky

 Robert Skeet Taylor, you are quite possibly the luckiest man on earth. All I could find tonight to put on my poison ivy was diaper rash cream, so it is currently all over my face and neck and hands and arms and ears. Paired with its delightful smell and my scratching, it looks especially nice with the old flannel PJ pants I’m wearing that are covered with faded polar bears. I’m also stopped up from the pollen, so I have a breathe-right strip on my nose, and my contacts were hurting my eyes so I have on black glasses with rhinestones. Skeet couldn’t ask for more gorgeous dream woman to hang out with tonight!!  #luckyman 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Checks

 Life with Jen and Skeet …

We just ordered checks with our new address on them. 

My design has pictures of neon colored popsicles with googly eyes and smiley faces dancing on piles of colorful confetti. 

Skeet’s are gray. 

😂😂😂 

Hunk

(2013) Lily was describing Robert Skeet Taylor at lunch: "a person with black white gray hair, wrinkly forehead, hairy arms, and a scratchy face." WHAT A HUNK!!  I am laughing soooo hard!!! 😂😂😂

Golf

 (2020) Conversations I had with Skeet on the golf course today… He’s such a lucky man to have me by his side!! 😂😂😂 Wonder if he’ll invite me again soon? 

“It’s humid out here”

“Uh oh. I hope you brought a lot of balls.”

“That lake is like a putt putt trap.”

“I’m going to watch from the shade.”

“Aww! Look at that cute dog!”

“I am going to look this tree up on plant app ...”

“I need a drink.”

“Somebody left tees everywhere.”

“They need to empty the trash out here.”

“Why are you using that club?”

“I’m sweating.”

“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep...”

“Woah! Look where this ball is. Somebody did terrible.”

“ I wonder who designs the shape of the sand traps.”

“Don’t get poison ivy getting your ball.”

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...”

“Maybe you should’ve brought your glasses.”

“What’s with all the ant hills?”

“Hold on. My tennis shoe hurts.”

“This is a no judgement zone.”

“That dude must be burning up in that long sleeve shirt.”

“Oops. It’s ok. Try again.”

“Look at all the dandelions!”

“Wow. We look super white in these shorts. We need a tan.”

“Are there fish in this lake? I just saw bubbles!”

“Don’t hit that guy over there.”

“They should make golf balls out of stuff that fish can eat for when they go in the lake.”

“Should I stop keeping score?”

Praise

 (2014) One of my sweet fourth grade boys said to me today, "Mrs. Taylor, the only better woman in my life other than you is my mother."  Absolutely precious. I don't think there is any higher praise possible than that!

OCD

 (2018) Anyone who knows me well knows I have a BAD OCD problem with vacuuming all the time! I have three Roomba vacuums that run all the time and three upright vacuums that I still use after the Roomba. The kids complain that they can’t hear the TV with the Roomba always running to which I just scream, “Too bad!” 😂😂😂 When I downloaded a vacuuming game app, Debbie Leonard wanted to hold a family crisis intervention. 😂😂😂 I know it’s crazy. I once told Bran when he was about ten that  I took med so I wouldn’t clean and vacuum so much, to which he politely said,”Not to hurt your feelings, Mom, but the med’s not working.” 😂😂😂 Anyway he’s been asleep in his room while the carpet cleaner guy has been here today, who he didn’t know was coming, and I got this text from him that cracked me up! He thought poor old mom had finally lost it while he’d been away at school! 😂😂😂

Bonfire

 (2013) Seriously considering burning all the dirty laundry in a bonfire in the backyard rather than doing it all today!  No one would notice a twenty foot burning pile of cloth in my backyard, would they?!!!

Gerbil

 (2011) Lily just asked me if she could have a JEWEL-BALL.  ????  Finally realized she was trying to say GERBIL!  I think the Jewel-Ball is a better option.