Nicer

 (2018) Lily and I were heading to the grocery store today and got behind a driver who was going 2 miles an hour and not turning at the signal, etc. Lily and I were getting annoyed and yelling real meanly  at the driver inside our car to “hurry up” and “pay attention.” At that moment we passed at church that had a HUGE sign on its lawn that said,”Love God. Love people.”  From the backseat Lily said, “Oops. I guess God was sending us an instant message. “ 😂😂❤️ We were much nicer to fellow drivers the rest of the trip!!

Chips

 You know you might be a redneck if…

You’re laying in bed almost completely asleep and your husband walks in the bedroom and ask if you’re awake. When you say yes, he responds, “Oh good! Try one of these new barbecue chips” and then you proceed to actually eat one from some bag he’s holding over you while you’re laying in your bed in your PJs in the dark. Yes, that really did just happen in the Taylor household! 😂😂😂😂 Robert Skeet Taylor

Snow Cone

 (2018) I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Germs

 (2018) Buddy was very excited when we got home tonight and was licking Lily all over her face.  Skeet said, "Lily, don't let Buddy lick your face.  He has bacteria!" to which LIly replied, "Oh Dad!  Those are just LOVE germs!"

Music

 (2019) Tales from Middle School ...

Lily came home today and said,”Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news is our bus driver said he would play music on the bus!”

Me: “Cool! What’s the bad news?”

Lily: “It was Kidz Bop.”😑

Apparently they were all back in their earbuds pretty quickly. 😂😂😂

Depressed

 (2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Baa Baa

 (2011) Lily Claire's version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep":  "Brandon black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full.  One for the magic, one for the dang, one for the yellow boy who lives down the lane."

Lobster

 (2020) I was at the dollar store this evening picking up a few items for my class. A man in the store was literally yelling at the top of his lungs to his wife across the store,”THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! THEY GOT LOBSTER EGGROLLS! “ As if that wasn’t weird enough, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what the dollar store was passing off as “lobster” in those frozen one dollar packs of egg rolls! Sounds like a food poisoning fiasco waiting to happen… Pretty sure eating the glue sticks I was purchasing would’ve been a safer bet than ingesting those hideous eggrolls! 😂😂😂 #lobsterimposter 🦞

School Supplies

 (2013) This was at the TOP of Lily's "most needed" school supplies list ... some new, gorgeous, high-quality jewelry from the Dollar Store to wear to Kindergarten!  Yes, she's my daughter!!

Remember

 (2012) In all seriousness, Lily Claire just came up to me and said, "Mom, do you remember that time that me you, Daddy, Dylan, Bran, Grammie, and Papaw were all riding on that unicorn one day?" .... ummmm... I"m not quite remembering that as much!

Sunbeam

 (2014) I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!  :)

Stressed

(2014) Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Socks

 (2020) No matter how old my kids get, I always buy them a new pair of shoes when school starts. When I texted Brandon about his shoes he asked me if I could also get him some socks. He said to get “no show” and “regular” socks, so I asked him if “regular” meant the kind that went up to his knee. This is the text I got back and now we are both cracking up at the thought of him walking around campus in big black or white knee socks with his shorts!!! 😂😂😂 #fashionfauxpas

Whiskey

 (2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Steve

(2018) We have home phones that will "announce" who is calling once the phone rings.  It's a lady computer type voice that can be hard to understand sometimes.  Anyway, the other morning I was super busy trying to arrange haircuts, get house chores done, etc.  And, of course, the phone kept ringing and ringing all morning.  Every time the caller ID said, "Call from ... Steve."  I never actually looked at the phone or number since I was busy and by the third call from "Steve," I was shouting back to the caller ID, saying things like, "STEVE, I don't know you!" ... "Steve, Quit calling me, I'm busy!" and "STEVE, GIVE IT UP!  STOP CALLING!!!"  Finally after about four or so calls from Steve, I stomped over to the phone as it rang again and I actually READ the caller ID ... which said "SKEET" NOT "Steve," as the lady computer voice kept saying!  (Guess she didn't have anything in her database for the word SKEET.)  Poor Skeet had been calling all those times from Pep Boys, needing a ride home while they worked on his car.  Oh dear.  I will definitely be taking calls from STEVE from now on!  Hahahaaa!  Sorry, Skeet!