Kite

(2017) Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days. Our conversation ...

Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?

Bran: No, I'm staying here. 

Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?

Bran: Yeah, I'm ready. 

Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?

Bran: I bought a kite ... 

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Rainbow

 (2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE rainbow colored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow- colored!"   UG!!

Snacks

 (2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor! 

Boots

 (2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Super Bowl

 (2018) Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Jaguar

 (2018) So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.

Nick Sabin

 (2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran (age 15):  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?

Me:  That would be cool, but I seriously hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad and actually ridiculous if he was still in college that long without graduating.”

Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.

Me: Oh.

Brown

 I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!! 😂😂

Refrigerator

 (2021) You know you might be slightly tired and overworked when... you can’t find your phone at school all morning and then when you go to get your sandwich out of the faculty room refrigerator at lunch, you find your ice cold phone in there along with your sandwich. 😂😂😂 #losingit #literally

Bunny

 (2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!  :)

Cure

 Tried and true cure for a stressful day ... make your hair a little blonder, paint your nails a little pinker, purchase a jumbo sized chocolate truffle DQ Blizzard, bathe yourself in puppy kisses, and watch several cheesy episodes of The Love Boat in your old flannel PJs. Yep, feeling better already. ❤️❤️

Baby

 (2011) Lily tripped and hurt her knee, then very adamantly informed me, "Mama, you have to cuddle Grammie's baby when she's hurt!"  Three guesses WHO "Grammie's baby" is?  Yes, of course, Lily Claire!

Mean

 (2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Aristocats

 (2013) Lily had a VERY exciting moment last night when she realized that our family is "exactly like" the Aristocats ... a mom, dad, two brothers, and a sister!  Now we are all being called by our cat name, since apparently we ARE the Aristocats!  Sincerely, Duchess

Gutenberg

 (2014) I know that Gutenburg's printing press gets the credit most of the time for the best invention of all time,  but I think the guy who invented air conditioning deserves to be sainted or knighted or something! Let's face it, you can't even enjoying reading a book fresh off the printing press when you're roasting hot!!