(2014) Sooooo much work ahead of me to make Bran into decent husband material one day ... case in point: Tonight I walk into his room with all this highlighting product goop in my hair, my head covered with a huge plastic bag, moisturizer cream on my face, my pink robe on, and my black glasses. My husband is smart enough not to comment (years of training). My teenage son, however, says, "What the heck, Mom?! Is that your Halloween costume?!!!" Yes, I did swat him! :) Brandon Taylor
True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Sunday, October 23, 2022
Sunday, October 16, 2022
Old
(2018) Today I was sitting outside on a bench at recess and had my ankles crossed. One of my students was talking to me and then looked down at my ankle and said, Oh no, Mrs. Taylor, what happened?!” She had seen an unsightly spider vein on my leg and thought I had been injured. “Oh it’s nothing,” I said, “It’s OK. I’m not hurt or anything.” Another student who was standing nearby overhearing the conversation rushed over to reassure me. “Don’t worry, Mrs Taylor! That just happens because of oldness.” Wow. I felt much better thanks to that encouraging diagnosis! 😂😂😂😂
Saturday, October 15, 2022
Vacation
(2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town. He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!" Cracked me up!!!
Pajamas
(2016) Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon? You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."
Wednesday, October 12, 2022
Purgatory
(2014) I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys." Shoot me now.
Lullaby
(2011)Lily was singing real sweetly to her baby doll tonight ... "Rock A Bye Baby, the tree falls, bye Mr. Baby, when the tree falls." I think her babydoll may be too terrorized to go to sleep after that rendition!
Monday, October 10, 2022
Grits
(2011) I have succeeded in raising my kids as true Southerners! I told Lily I was going to go order pizza for supper and she said, "No, Mom, let's order grits!" That's my girl!
Five
(2015) I love five year olds. I showed Lily an online picture of the baby panda cubs from the Atlanta zoo and she stood by the computer petting them (on the screen) and talking to them in a soft, high, sweet voice for about five minutes. Precious. Wish she could stay little forever.
Evaporation
(2015) I am amazed at the apparent rapid rate of tater tot evaporation ... Anytime I send Brandon Taylor to Sonic to get some for me, half the pack is somehow gone by the time it gets home to me!!!!! Hmmmmmm......
Homework
(2018) Lily complaining while doing a page of math out of her math book tonight ...
“What is WRONG with this McGrawHill person?! Does he just WANT us to be bored??!!” I’m cracking up!!! 😂😂😂
Chipmunk
(2019) I was doing some yard work today and found this buried in the yard. It was a grave marker Lily made several years ago when a little chipmunk had died in our lawn, and Skeet buried it. She gave it a beautiful “service” that day then made this notecard to say “rest in peace little chipmunk Dave.” Truly made me smile today and gave me a good laugh! Oh, that girl of mine!!! 😂😂😂
Sunday, October 9, 2022
Old School
(2018) I am an old school elementary school teacher and proud of it! I am pleased to say that tonight I rummaged out my "candy corn" earrings and my pumpkin vests for the upcoming season! Now all I need to find are those cute socks with ghosts and black cats on them!!! Eat your hearts out, you young whippersnappers!!
Crime
(2013) Lily loves to make crafts, but tonight she came to me looking completely dejected with some sort of foam ball drenched in Elmer's glue and moaned dramatically, "OH NOOOO!!! Mom .. I am a GLUE GLOBBER." It is apparently a TERRIBLE crime. I just can't believe my sweet baby girl has turned to a life of glue globbing villainy at such a young age.
Wednesday, October 5, 2022
Waffle House
(2018) So I’m going to make a confession. Waffle House grosses me out, and I hate to go there. My husband knows this, so he was in shock today when I texted him that I took the kids to Waffle House for breakfast because the boys LOVE it! One of those sacrificial mom moments, I guess. 😂 Anyway everything went fine, it was SORT OF clean, we ate our food (though they only have cold syrup and serve hashbrowns with everything, even a hamburger) and I was starting to think, “Ok, this wasn’t so bad...”. Just as I was entertaining this positive thought, the waiter next to me dumped an entire gigantic bucket of bleach water on the floor right next to where I was eating. Classy. Couldn’t quite swallow down anymore waffle with the bleach fumes floating over the greasy floor by my feet. Check, please. 😂😂
Tuesday, October 4, 2022
Text
(2012) I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches. They text Bible verses, etc. Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad. Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer." That cracked me up!!!! Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!
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Lily informed me that she will NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could ha...
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Having a mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper", eating "Whales" instead ...