Rap

(2012) Bran is singing a super obnoxious "rap" song he's making up about macaroni and cheese and then he informed me that it was only the first verse of this "masterpiece."  I am DEFINITELY going to bed now before verse 2 even begins!! (This is the rap so far, "I want macaroni and cheese, I have no keys, cause all my cars are PUSH TO START, I'm not riding in grocery carts") - do you feel my pain?

Mistakes

Today we were going over a reading assignment in class and I skipped one of the questions by accident. One of my students encouragingly said,”It’s ok, Mrs. Taylor, my grandparents make mistakes a lot, too.” Grandparents?! 😂😂😂 Felt a bit older after that comparison!

PGA

After 26 years of living with Robert Skeet Taylor, I've been "conditioned" to turn on PGA golf in order to take a Sunday afternoon nap, even when he's not around!  The announcers' low, lulling voices are like Pavlov's bell ... They speak and I instantly fall asleep!

Root Word

(2015) I was teaching my 2nd graders about root words today and when we got to the root "tele," I asked them if they had ever heard a word that used "tele," thinking they'd say "telephone" or "telescope."  Without missing a beat, one of my little ones shouted, "Nutella"! (Nu-tele) ... I cracked up!!   Not quite ... but very creative!

Too Loud

Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Eloquence

So all my friends out there know that I am married to a WONDERFUL guy and I love him very much! Robert Skeet Taylor  HOWEVER, he has always been NOTORIOUS for some of things he says to me that he THINKS are compliments!  When we were dating, he told me he was glad I wasn't a beauty queen. (Still not sure how THAT was a compliment but it was supposed to be apparently.)  Another time he told me he was glad that no guys looked at me on the beach.  Ummm ... thank you ... I guess??  Well the other night I had been furiously working in the yard for HOURS and when I came inside all bedraggled and a mess, I looked in the mirror and said to him, "Good grief.  I couldn't look any worse if I tried" to which my adoring husband replied, "Oh, yes you could." Long awkward pause.  WHAT?!!!!!!  And as usual, after twenty minutes of back peddling and explaining, that of course wasn't what he meant!  Geez!  Anyone know where I can sign up an ALMOST perfect husband for eloquence lessons?  I know a guy who needs them!!  :)

Socks

(2012) A conversation with Dylan tonight ...
Me:  Dylan, give me your dirty clothes and get in the bath.
Dylan:  Mom!  Don't wash those socks (the ones he had just taken off) ... I"m going to wear them tomorrow!
Me:  No, Dylan!  These socks are filthy!
Dylan:  No they aren't ...  I've only worn them for three days.

Welcome to the world of a nine year old boy.  YUCK!!!

Retro

(2015) I guess I've been watching the Retro TV channel too much because tonight Lily Claire said she wanted to watch "Magnum PI."  I about cracked up, since I was expecting her to say "Dora" or "Angelina Ballerina"!!!!

SPAM

I have started getting a bunch the weirdest SPAM emails like "Buy Premium Cigars," "Bosley Hair Restoration," "Get Mobile with a HoverRound" and "Meet Single Black Seniors" ... not real sure how I've gotten on some of these particular marketing lists!!

Rubbish

(2016) So today Lily came running up to me and said, "Mom, you're RUBBISH!"
WHAT?!
"Lily!  That wasn't nice!" I told her, pretending to be shocked.
"Why?" Lily asked in surprise. "What does 'rubbish' mean?"
"It means TRASH!" I said.
Lily hugged me and said, "Oh ... then you're NICE rubbish!"

Brilliant

(2012) Not at my most brilliant ... last night we painted a milk carton for Lily Claire's PreK project with yellow tempra paint, which cracked and fell off over night!  SO, we started over today and I spray painted a new milk jug with yellow spray paint which I had to stop and buy at the hardware store.  When I finished I looked at the finished product and asked myself, "After all that, WHY didn't you just buy a yellow Mayfield jug to begin with?!"  Sigh.  Oh well! :)

Raggamuffin

(2016) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it!  The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!"  She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga."  Cracked me up!!!

Orthodontist

(2016) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...
I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments.  He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month.  I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"
"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."
She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."
Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."
Wow.  Mother of the Year right here, folks.  Really on top of things!  Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!!  Good grief. :)

Natural

Pretty sure it’s time to schedule an appointment with my hairdresser after a student handed this to me today and said she picked it especially for me because the frosting matches my hair! Wow ... really natural look I apparently have going. 😂😂😂

Hey Mom, I Need Some Food”

I got a text today from Brandon that made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in a long time! So, the other night, very late, he calls me and says, “Mom, I’m hungry after my games. Can you send me some Ramen Noodles and a microwave bowl?” (no ovens in dorms). OF COURSE, what I HEARD was, “Mom, I’m dying of starvation and fading away into nothingingness. I am miserable and alone far, far away. Help me!!!!!” I JUMP onto the computer in the middle of the night and immediately order him four cases of Ramen Noodles, the bowl, AND macaroni and cheese cups, cookies, Sunny Delight, Goldfish, Little Debbie Easter cakes, and a 24 jumbo variety pack of Gatorade, all to be shipped to his dorm ASAP! In my defense, what else could I do after getting what I believed to be a DESPERATE SOS call from my baby who is living far away at college saying he’s HUNGRY (a Southern mother’s WORST NIGHTMARE)! I may have panicked just a little. At any rate, I get this text today from him today with the caption “Hey mom, I need food” and a video of what got delivered to the post office up the street from his dorm today which is now in his tiny car to be hauled back to his tiny room. I have never laughed so hard in my LIFE! Oops. Well, at least I can sleep easy tonight knowing my son is definitely NOT going to be hungry tonight … or for the next six months, apparently!! 😂😂😂