Dollar Store

I have been crowned “mother of the year” yet again! Today I was at the Dollar Store loading up my cart with snacks for my kids to munch on at the pool. I headed over to the pet aisle and was about to put some doggy treats into my cart for Buddy. I stopped myself thinking, “Ewww, no. I don’t want Buddy to eat anything from the cheap Dollar Store! It might be gross or make him sick!” Then, without hesitation, I proceeded to the checkout to buy all the snacks for my OWN CHILDREN to eat ... from the cheap Dollar Store!! 😂😂😂 Sorry, kids ... I guess Buddy lives a little more high on the hog than you three!! 😂😂😂😂 #bestmomever
#buddyisthefavorite

Tank Top

Well there's no accounting for taste, apparently!  I graciously offered to get this stunning tank top at Walmart for Dyl and he turned me down, IF you can believe that!  His loss! Hahaaaaa!!

Crayons

(2011) Lily is definitely my child ... she is sitting beside me playing with her crayons but she has them all lined up in a row and has named all of them.  They are apparently a crayon family and they are all talking to each other.  Sophie, the pink crayon, is especially talkative and is telling all the other crayons what to do!  I am cracking up!

Boys

Why do boys think that going swimming means they have had their bath for the day?!

Hoarders

WHY did I just watch the most disgusting, horrible episode of Hoarders while I was doing laundry?  What was I thinking?! Why would a person "hoard" cats?!  I am scarred FOREVER.  I will stick with Love Boat from now on!!!!

Flipper

(2015) Dyl is such a good big brother.  He's been having to pretend to be Lily's pet dolphin, Flipper, for the past hour in the pool and then play Uno with her at adult swim!

Southern Girl

(2013) I am definitely raising a Southern girl!  I just asked Lily Claire what she wanted for a snack and she answered, "Yo-Grits", which is what she thought was the name for "yogurt."  Love it!

Bloated

(2013) Dylan and Lily are going to watch a Lego Batman movie and they want me to get out the air mattress for them to lay on while they watch.  Lil just came running into my room and said, "Mom!  We need to get the air mattress all bloated up!"

Sweating

(2014) Had a lunch date with the kids after the puppet show this morning!  They wanted to go to McDonalds so they could also play on the playground.  When we first got there, I told them to go play, but within a few seconds Lily had come back to the table. In an APPALLED voice she told me, "I do NOT want to play in there right now because there is a kid in there who is SWEATING!"  Well, heaven forbid.  Once the offensive "sweat-er" left, she decided she'd go on in and play!  Good grief!!  After that, she and Dyl had a good time in the playground pretending to be a magic princess and a mean bear on the prowl ... all I know is there was a lot of squealing and running and growling going on in there!  Sure hope there was no SWEATING going on!

Cool Dad

This dude at the pool keeps yelling at his middle school daughter to be careful on her pool float so she doesn’t knock into other people, but instead of yelling “be careful” he keeps screaming “be situationally aware.” Ummmm ... ok. 😂😂😂. #cooldadaward

Woman Code

Ok, really?!  We went out for lunch today and a lady stopped to admire some jewelry I was wearing.  As I am about to say "thank you" for her nice compliment, Skeet Taylor shouts out, "It's not real."  Seriously???   Woman code 101 has just been seriously breeched. Why don't you go ahead and tell the whole place that I have fake highlights in my hair from a drugstore box and my glowing complexion comes from a tube and that it's not my real figure because I have on a tummy control shaper under my dress?!  Any man in his right mind should know you DO NOT spill the time honored "woman" secrets!  Honestly.  Men are from another planet. 😂😂👽

Job

(2011) Another Dylan moment ... I was laying in his bed with him before he fell asleep and he asked, "Mom, when you grow up do you have to have a job?"  Of course, I said, "Yes, if you want to have a house and food!"  Dylan thought a moment then said, "Yea, and if you don't have a job you'd be drunk all the time and have a fat stomach."  WHERE does he get this stuff?!  He cracks me up!

Termites

So the termite exterminators come at the crack of dawn this morning (the yearly check, we don't actually have termites) ... I thought they would just spray some stuff and leave us our letter.  Of course not!  The man gives me a long speech about the option to have them drill into the basement floor and into all the outside bricks and the front porch with their jack hammer and how "it might look bad at first but it'll settle down after a while."  Oh yeah and also the holes could cause some "flooding problems. Do I want him to do that?"  Um ... NO!!!  What on earth? Just squirt some spray, mister!!!!

Burning

Seriously considering burning all the dirty laundry in a bonfire in the backyard rathering than doing it all today!  No one would notice a twenty foot burning pile of cloth in my backyard, would they?!!!

Jewell Ball

(2013) Lily just asked me if she could have a JEWEL-BALL.  ????  Finally realized she was trying to say GERBIL!  I think the Jewel-Ball is a better option.