Naked and Afraid

 Robert Skeet Taylor loves the show Naked and Afraid, and I must admit, it sucks me in every time! The other night while we were watching an episode, I asked him, “Do you think we could survive 21 days in some terrible, wilderness, survival situation?” 

Skeet: No answer. 

Me: What?? You don’t??

Skeet: Not really. 

Me: ... Why?? Would I be the weak link?!

Skeet: No answer. (smart man)

Sheesh!! I have NO IDEA why he would think that!! I only constantly complain if I’m tired, hungry, thirsty, hot, cold, dirty, itchy, cut, scratched, sunburned, sore, scared, wet, damp, near a bug, or in any way slightly uncomfortable!  WHY would I not be the ideal partner in the jungle for a month?! 😂😂😂 Skeet must be crazy to pass up that kind of paradise!

Skeleton

(2012) Life with Dylan:  This morning we were talking about Easter and I said, "Jesus died for us then rose from the grave three days later!"  Dylan:  "Cool!  So Jesus is a skeleton now?"  Sigh.  "No Dyl, Jesus is not a skeleton!" 

Favoritist

 (2012) I gave Lily a new Berenstain Bears book this morning and she gasped real big and said, "Wow! This is my most favoritest book I never seen!"  

Ragamuffin

 (2011) Whenever Lily Claire has been outside playing and she looks a mess, I tell her she looks like a little "rag-a-muffin."  Today she had a checkup at the doctor and I told her we needed to brush her hair, to which she replie, "Why?  Am I a "mag -a -ruffin?"  :)

Weirdo

(2016) Helping Bran with a paper for his British Lit class tonight that is about how the Victorian ideals of the time were portrayed in Dickens' Oliver Twist and how he used the novel to attack the Poor Laws of the time, etc.  I am all enthused and loving every second of it and remembering how much I LOVE everything about this time period and topic. Meanwhile, Bran is miserable writing this paper and says to me,"Seriously ...  This is completely useless and and no normal person cares about a bunch of poems that make no sense and all these long, confusing stories ....What kind of weirdo would go to college and get a whole degree in this stuff!!?"  Long awkward pause.  "Um.  That would be me, son."  Nice backpedalling, Bran. Yes, he is definitely his father's son.  😄 Hahaaaa!!! 

Best Friend

(2010) Lily Claire's teacher told me today that her little two year old classmates were on the floor at circle time and each child in the class was telling about his/her "best friend."  The other kids were naming children in the class as their best friends, but when they got to Lily Claire and asked her who was her best friend, she said "Mama" ... you KNOW I loved that!!!!!! 

Memories

 (2012) I pulled out Brandon's baby book of pictures to show him tonight and Lily rushed over and said, "Ooooo ... I want to look at Bran's remem-bories"! 

Broadway

 (2014) PROUD PROUD parent moment ... Dylan has a part in the 5th grade school musical.  He is CAMPER ITCH-ALOT and apparently he has to "scratch alot".  His one line is, "The mosquitoes are eating me alive!"  Watch out BROADWAY ... I'm sure he will be discovered with this amazing break-out role!! :)

Grass

 (2014) Bran was recounting to me a recent dinner he had at an Italian restaurant.  He said the waitress came and asked him if he wanted a Caesar salad or mixed greens.  He said he knew he didn't like Caesar so he order the mixed greens, not really knowing what it was.  He said in shock, "Mom, when they brought the salad, the leaves were ALL PURPLE!!!!  And then I asked for ranch dressing and they said the dressing was already on it and I couldn't see ANYTHING.  I felt like I was eating grass, like some cow, but I didn't want to say anything and seem rude."  CRACKED me up!!!

Law

ALERT FRIENDS AND FAMILY... Thanks to Lily, I was made aware of an important new law for EVERYONE in America that will apparently go into effect this summer!  Take note!  Wouldn't want to have to make a citizen's arrest ... 

Rules

 One of the hallmarks of being a Southern mother .... reminding your kids of every rule of good manners ever known to man while taking them to any event away from home  ... a birthday party, a sleepover, whatever.  The poor kid is trapped in the back seat of the car all the way to their friend's house while you repeat the same age-old list ... "Don't ask for a bunch of food, wait until it's offered ... don't grunt when an adult speaks to you, say Yes M'am and No M'am ... be SURE and say thank you and please ... don't run in their house and wipe your feet on the mat when you go in ... don't act like a buffoon or you'll never be invited again ..."  The kid just nods automatically at every rule you throw out there, like one of Pavlov's dogs hearing a bell for the millionth time.  By the time you pull into the driveway, they can't get out of the car fast enough and the only thing they are thinking is that they sure wish DAD had given them a ride instead of Mom!!!  :)

Rap

 (2011) Bran is singing a super obnoxious "rap" song he's making up about macaroni and cheese and then he informed me that it was only the first verse of this "masterpiece."  I am DEFINITELY going to bed now before verse 2 even begins!! (This is the rap so far, "I want macaroni and cheese, I have no keys, cause all my cars are PUSH TO START, I'm not riding in grocery carts") - do you feel my pain?

Lion

(2020)  I had to go by the grocery store tonight and Lily went with me. I was complaining a little to her that I was tired of not being able to find ground beef. Right about that time Lily gasped and spotted this huge beef brisket, something she had never seen before. In all seriousness she turned to me and said, “What in the world?!! They don’t have ground beef, but they have lion?!!” I about died laughing! She had never seen such a big piece of meat and honestly thought it was from a lion!! 😂😂😂 

Blind

 (2018) Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 😂😂😂

Rude

 (2013) Lily Claire asked me, "Does the Easter Bunny come at night while we're sleeping and hide eggs where no on can find them?"

"Yes!" I answered, thinking she'd be delighted.

Frowning, she replied, "That's RUDE!"