Senior Citizen

 (2021) One of my students asked me today if I was a senior citizen!😂😂😂 Ummm ... no, but at this point I certainly feel like one, but with none of the discounts! 😂😂

Cheering

 (2013) Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!” 

Brawl

 Today’s Blog Highlight …

Brawl

It's a pretty sure sign that the world is in a serious downward spiral when the news headline of the day is "The Easter Bunny brawls with shoppers at a NJ mall."  Seriously, what is happening to society?!! Or should I say "HOP-pening ..." Hahaaa!!'

BSOL

 (2016) 

 Those of you who know me are aware that I'm not really known for having extensive baseball knowledge (ok, none), and I've been known to erroneously scream "good cut" from time to time when Bran catches a ball in the outfield. I basically sit at the games asking Skeet "What happened?" after each play  and just clap for whatever Bran does. HOWEVER, I was never fully aware of my complete and utter lack of baseball knowledge until the other evening Brandon Taylor and Robert Skeet Taylor were on either side of me  rehashing a recent game. Believe me when I say that they talked for over twenty minutes saying stuff I'd never even heard of IN MY LIFE that apparently did or didn't happen in the game. Y'all, I literally had NO IDEA what they were even saying! It was like a weird, secret "baseball code" that I'd never been privy to until now!

Here's what the conversation sounded like to me ..., "The southpaw dinger brushback pickle set-up-man with the seeing-eye-single shoestring catch in the hole flashed some leather on the hot corner who had a safety squeeze on a sacrifice bunt with a slice foul sinker in the backdoor breaking ball bad hop balk for the closer in the clutch and the mop up with the BABIP ERA WHIP, don't you agree?"

Ummmm .... yes??  .... 

I've now decided that instead of being ESOL, (English as a Second or Other Language), I am what you would call BSOL,.. (BASEBALL as a Second or Other Language).  And after hearing all their jibberish, it will be a PERMANENT condition for me, I am quite sure. Unless maybe there is some Rosetta Stone software that could help me out. 🙂  #lifewiththeTaylormen

Birdseed

 (2018) Today's free springtime advice .... never coat all your birdseed with "Coles Flaming Squirrell Repellant Sauce" and then hang your feeder from a very high branch on a super windy day.  Though it sounds unlikely, a big piece of flaming seed WILL fall out of the feeder right into your eye.  Unfortunately I am speaking from painful experience.

Cat

 (2023) Hilarious story of the day! I get a text from Brandon this morning while he was getting ready for work that he just saw a cat walk down the hallway by his bedroom. This doesn’t sound like a big deal except WE DON’T HAVE A CAT! 😂😂😂 Come to find out it is my neighbors cat, Gary, and he decided just to take a nice little stroll through our house this morning!!! 😂😂😂 He must’ve gotten in when we left the door open for Buddy down by the backyard! Thankfully, Buddy did not see Gary strolling around the house, and our neighbor came and lured him out with a can of cat food! 😂😂😂 Never a dull moment! 🐈🐈‍⬛

Gone With The Wind

 (2014) I have TOTALLY failed as a Southern mother.

I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature).  At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color."  I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."

Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"

After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"

"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right?  It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something?  Right?"

Oh. my. lord. 

"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."

Bran, "Never heard of it."

WHERE did I go wrong?!  I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it.  All.four.hours.

Retro

(2016) A text between Bran and me from his teen years where I was messing with him ... using a bunch of “groovy” slang that he wanted nothing to do with! 😂😂😂

Stickers

 (2012) I was fussing a little bit at Lily Claire tonight because when I came downstairs she had put stickers all over her dolls!  I said, "Lily, don't put stickers on your nice babydolls!" to which she replied, "I didn't. They have chickenpox."

Praise and Worship

 (2014) 

Many of you know that Dylan is really in to WWE wrestling and this Sunday, unbeknownst to me, he brought two of his wrestler "guys" into church.  During the praise songs, I look over and see this!  I am STILL laughing!!!  Apparently it's the WWE meets Praise and Worship! He even had their hands raised!  ONLY Dylan!!!! 

Perks

 (2014) Bran thinks he has hit the BIG TIME being on his highschool baseball team.  Why?  Because he gets FREE sweet tea AND lemonade at practices and games!  WHOA!!!!  Who needs the major leagues with these kinds of perks?!!  You gotta love 14 year old boys!

Book

 (2014) Bran wasn't sure if I could help him with his Language Arts homework last night because it was about some obscure, little known book called "To Kill A Mockingbird" ... had I ever heard of it?  Ummm ... yes, Bran.  I've heard of that "new" book.

Birthday

 (2013) Lily just told me, "Mom, you can come to my birthday party because you're my best friend."  Sniff. Sniff.  Love that little girl!

Marker

 (2012) I walked into the kitchen this evening to find that Lily had drawn a big flower right on the refridgerator with a purple marker!!!! Thankfully I only buy washable markers! When I said, "Lily Claire, Don't draw on Mommy's refridgerator with marker!" Liily answered sincerely, "I didn't do it, Mommy ... the marker did it." Reminded me of a time Dylan drew all over my CAR with a black Sharpie pen and then told me that a bunch of ants had drawn it! Uh huh. :) Three year olds!

Mother of the Year

 (2012) I have to share my "Mother of the Year" story from this week. I have been crowned once again. 🙂  I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid.  We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend."  The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes.  I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc.  I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!"  Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress,  "Mom!  Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!?  What on earth??!   Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do.  I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!"  What a lucky kid.  He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet. So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him.  Yes, once again, I am Mother of the Year!  What can you do but laugh?!