Invitation

(2010) I was telling Dylan tonight about Skeet and my anniversary today... he was extremely annoyed when he asked me WHY he wasn't invited to the wedding!?

Scale

(2013) Lily Claire just stepped on the bathroom scale and asked, "Mama, how much do I cost?"

Mom?

"What a nice surprise," I thought when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed it was Brandon Taylor, who is in Orlando at a baseball tournament.
"Hey Bran!! So glad you called! 😄" I gushed.
"Hello?  Hello?  Mom?  Is this Mom?  Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to call you."
Nice.

Slip

So I am cracking up while watching a whole bunch of DVR'd holiday romance movies I didn't get to before Christmas (though I don't know HOW that is possible since I watched Hallmark 24/7 this month!).  Anyway, there is always a moment in the movie where the guy and girl (who don't like each other at first) end up liking each other and then, by chance, the girl happens to fall or slip or something during a walk and the guy falls down on top of her for this long awkward moment.  I feel like I'm missing out because in 25 years, this has NEVER happened to me and Skeet! HOW can that be??! I thought about orchestrating a "faux slip" magical moment when we go out on our next date, but I'm pretty sure at this point we'd break a hip or not be able to get back up!!!!  Hahahahaaa!  :)

Trapped

Is there some unwritten rule that every time I step into a grocery store they have to be playing a Dan Fogleberg song?!  I HATE Dan Fogleberg songs and I'm always trapped listening to them at Kroger!!!! AAHHHHH!!!!

Baby Pinkie

(2013) Lily and I were driving by a church in our neighborhood that had a live nativity outside. I pointed it out to Lily and said, "Look at the animals!" Lily asked, "Are there lions?" I replied, "No, they are acting out when baby Jesus was born." Lily answered,"Oooo, I just LOVE baby Jesus, ... but I think I'm going to call him Pinkie." For some reason, 'Joy to the World, Baby Pinkie has come' doesn't sound quite as Christmasy to me!

Scratch and Sniff

(2013) Tonight I was reading several stories to Dylan and Lily, one of which was a book about the nativity.  Dylan was super disappointed that it wasn't a "scratch and sniff" book ... WHY we would want to scratch and sniff a donkey, I just don't know!!!!

Handrails

I told Robert Skeet Taylor that I want some pretty handrails for the front steps as my Christmas gift this year, so it's easier for my parents and his parents and other family to get up and down the stairs into our house.  He told me he had a "better idea" ... a knotted rope slung up the stairs that everyone could use to just pull themselves up and down the stairs.   He of course was joking, but I told him I just want HANDRAILS, not a "Tough Grand-Mudder" event to get into the house!

Best Dad Ever

Thank you to the BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WORLD (Jim Klaas) who went with me on a long, crazy errand today that took forever and was wrought with mix-ups and errors and a lot of weird people!!  It took WAY longer than it should have, but I actually had so much fun just laughing and spending time together during the whole crazy ordeal.  I am SO THANKFUL to have my sweet, funny Dad - he lights up our lives!

Blue Christmas

Looks like I'll be having a blue Christmas since Skeet accidentally washed a new pair of jeans with my whites.  Nice.

Barb-e-goat??

Skeet is watching some show where a guy is making a "Mexican Barb-e-goat" with cactus leaves garnish. Seriously?!  I'm guessing this guy ain't from around these parts!!

Fluff

I don't want to watch any Christmas movie that is described as "a searing holiday drama."  All I want is fluff and happiness and folks dancing around and singing in a town where it snows on the night they light the town tree and everyone is friends and someone falls in love and gets married on Christmas Eve after they go Christmas carolling and stop by the town bakery for homemade gingerbread and hot chocolate.  Is that too much to ask?

Star Wars

Lily and I were watching a Christmas movie tonight and a TON of Star Wars commercials kept coming on.  Finally Lily groaned and said disgustedly,"Why does everything have to be about Star Wars??? Why can't it be about Peppa Pig?!  Star Wars is OLD ... It's been around since I was three!"

Burned Out

There is no tired like the tired of an elementary school teacher at the end of the week before Christmas break! As we were dragging home late tonight from school, we passed by our neighbor's nativity scene out in their yard.  I noticed that Mary wasn't lit up as usual, and I turned to Lily and said, "Uh oh. Mary is burned out."  After considering that for a minute, I yelled out the window at plastic Mary, "GIRL, I CAN RELATE!!"  I was cracking myself up, but Lily was looking at me like I'd truly gone off my rocker!  Actually, I think I have!!!  Hahahaaaaa!!!

Good Grief.

Last night I decide I was looking old and tired so I decide to do one of those charcoal masks. Skeet, Dyl, and Lily were all asleep so while I’m waiting on it the thick, black goop to harden, I go downstairs to straighten up the kitchen. I’m in the pantry sweeping when I hear Bran come home. As I come out of the kitchen to say “Hi Bran!” there stands his best friend Justin with him!  I’m in old pink pjs with kitty cats all over them, a broom in my hand, a black charcoal mask all over my face, my hair pinned back off my face, and my glasses!!!! They both stared for a second in shock, then started cracking up!! As I’m scolding Bran about not letting me know he was bringing someone home with him, Justin says, “Don’t worry, Ms. Jen. I don’t judge.” 😂😂😂. Good grief.

Gingerale

(2015) Brandon Taylor is ALWAYS drinking MY special green tea ginger ale that I can only find in North Carolina, and I am always fussing at him about it! Sooooo when he opened the downstairs fridge door tonight, there was a special message waiting for him!!

Favorite

(2010) I was helping Dylan with his homework tonight and it was a questionaire about himself. He had to tell me his favorite subject in school. Quickly he screamed "Recess." I said, "No, it has to be a subject." He thought and shouted, "Lunch!" Again I said "No." Then he said, "PE!" After explaining once again that it had to be a SUBJECT he said "Social Studies." Encouraged I said, "Why?" He answered, "Because we go to recess right afterwards!" Such is the mind of a third grade boy!!!

Poinsettias

(2013) Skeet and Bran left a few minutes ago to pick up all the poinsettias they sold for Bran's baseball team.  Lily asked me where Daddy was and I told her he had gone to pick up some poinsettias.  Lily said, "Oh.  Is that what we're having for supper?"  Guess she thought that was like picking up Chinese!

Squirrel Breath

(2014) Only Dylan!  He told us this evening that he wants to quit his basketball team.  Of course we said NO and gave him a big speech about making commitments and keeping them and not letting your team down, etc.  We finally asked WHY he wanted to quit, thinking it was because he thought his team wasn't good or because he wanted to stay home and play video games or something.  His exact words for wanting to quit were ... "Because the coach’s breath smells like a squirrel."  What?!!!  How does he even know what a squirrel smellls like?!!!  Dylan definitely keeps life interesting around here!!!

All I Want For Christmas...

A direct quote from my 14-year-old son tonight: "Mom ... all I want for Christmas is a mini-fridge for my room ... full of sweet tea."  Yep, he's a Southern boy.

Slurp

There is no denying the Lily is my child! I bought her a drink at QT on the way to get groceries and heard all this loud slurping in the back seat. I turned around and asked her what in the world she was doing!  She said,"I'm just slurping along with the music."  Sure enough, when I listened, she was perfectly slurping along on beat with The First Noel! Oh dear.

11 PM

When you have a 14 year old son, this is the story of your life. In the last week, I've been informed by Dylan on three different nights at 11 PM that he needs $10 cash for the next day, a three subject spiral notebook for the next day, and a button down dress shirt and tie FOR THE NEXT DAY. Do I have any of these at 11 PM?? Noooooooooooo!!!

Love Is Doing The Laundry

As you know, I am loving watching my favorite Christmas movies on Hallmark this season, but you can totally tell that women write these scripts.  Case in point, the guy in the movie just said, "True love to me is doing dishes together and doing the laundry. It's making even ordinary things extraordinary."  Why do I not recall Skeet EVER saying something like that, especially when he's folding the 100th basket of laundry for the week???? Hahaaaa!!!!

Black Friday

Funny memory of Bran and I doing some Black Friday shopping, which included a stop at my favorite store, Kirklands!  Needless to say, it isn't Bran's favorite store and he was cracking me up trying to figure out what half the stuff in the store even was!  When I picked out this adorable decoration for the house, his exact words were, "Why are we getting an old, rusty Santa?!"  He obviously has no taste in cute decor!!

Priceless

(2011) Made a priceless memory today when I went over to help Mom decorate the tables for Thanksgiving ... Lily Claire and Grammie were two peas in a pod mixing and stirring and baking together in the kitchen.  Grammie had lots and lots of "help"!  I think Lily licked more of the frosting than she put on the cake and I don't think Grammie stopped laughing!  It was so much fun watching the two of them together!  Today and EVERY day, I am so thankful for our "Grammie and Papaw."

Plans

(2015) Nothing like having your 17 year old son wake you up on vacation to show you all his plans and ideas for the "sleeve tattoo" he is NOT getting.  I told him he could choose food or a tattoo.    Every day is an adventure around here.

Just Say No ...

I just feel the need to say that I hate any Christmas movie that (A) has the same day repeating itself over and over again until the character learns some lesson and changes his ways, (B) stars Meredith Baxter Bernie, or (C) involves any type of storyline where someone is sick or dying and the whole town rallies to give them one last tear-jerking holiday. All I want is complete, total, 100% predictable, happy fluff for the holidays! NO REALITY, PLEASE!  I know I can always count on you, Hallmark Channel.

Incognito

(2013) Skeet made the boys' day yesterday when he came home and told them that a friend had given him FOUR tickets to the GA/GA Tech game this weekend!  As you may know, Skeet went to Tech so we are huge Tech fans, and of course, Katie is a freshman there this year.  Anyway we were all shouting and cheering and talking about our Buzz face tattoos when Skeet said, " Ummm ... about the Buzz tattoos ... the tickets are on the Georgia side."  SILENCE.  Guess we'll be going incognito ... we better stop by Walmart to get a Georgia shirt to disguise ourselves!  Hope we don't forget ourselves and scream, Go Yellow Jackets!!!!!

Dead

(2015) Tonight we walked all around Bass Pro Shop with the kids and Dylan kept trying to scare Lily about the "stuffed" taxidermy-ish animals that were all around.
She screamed when he shouted, "Look, Lily, there's a REAL bear ... but he's DEAD!!!!!" And, of course, there stood a huge, growling bear on its hind feet staring down at us.
 "Dylan," I scolded, "Stop telling Lily that the animals are 'dead'. You are scaring her!"
 I should have known better. The next thing we passed was a huge "stuffed" moose. When Lily cringed at the sight of it, Dylan whispered reverantly, "Lily, there's a REAL moose ... but it passed away." Only Dylan.

Not Allowed

(2013) Dylan keeps going in Lily's room to jump and wrestle around and he keeps messing up her bed and knocking over all her dollhouse furniture, etc.  She is getting REALLY mad about it, so tonight, this sign (meant for Dylan) was hanging on her door!  I laughed out loud!  It says, "You are not allowed in my room ever again!" Ah, yes, ... brotherly/sisterly love.  

Economics

(2014) Shoot me now ... Dylan "forgot" to tell me about a test he has tomorrow in economics until ten o'clock tonight. Nothing like a grumpy, tired mom trying to teach a grumpy, tired eleven year old about command and market economies and the factors that affect the Gross National Product at eleven at night.  Ug! Is it Thanksgiving break yet??

Get Well Soon

Someone felt the need to put a helium balloon that said "Get Well Soon" on a dead dear on the side of the road! Sick humor, I know, but I am cracking up!!!

Bible Class

Laughing so hard after talking to Bran tonight!  He had to take his final in Bible class today and he didn't realize until yesterday that part of the exam was to write down all the books of the Bible in order!!  He said exhausted, "Mom.  I was up all night singing some song I found of all the books of the Bible and I had to sing it like 1800 times all night long to remember them!!!"  The mental image of that had me rolling ... and think about his poor roommate!!! He's up for sainthood after putting up with that all night!! 😂😂😂😂

Torture

(2014) Hahahahahaaa!  It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV.  I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise."  For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel!  With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of  Mr. Miyagi advice.  Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ...  I'm STILL laughing!!

Hot Rod

My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)!  That was proven yet again this weekend!  Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed.  I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags!  And. the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator!  Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?!  Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning!  And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom!  Can I please get my car back now?  Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!

There’s Always Tomorrow

(2016)

This morning, as I was driving the kids through Burger King to get them a sausage biscuit for breakfast, I succumbed to pressure and agreed to play the Rudolph TV music soundtrack in the car on the way to school. (I know ... it's not even Thanksgiving ..)  Anyway, as we were waiting for our food, we got to the song where Clarice, Rudolph's love interest, was singing a very dramatic rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow."  When Clarice was making her big finish, I decided to chime in on the very last few super high notes in my loudest, highest, opera voice.  Of course, I was looking back at the kids who were now HOWLING with laughter because I wasn't aware that, at that very moment, the Burger King lady had opened the window to hand us our bag, just as I let out my highest, loudest opera note!  Of course, she thought I was totally off my rocker (which I pretty much am at this point)!  After I  grabbed our bag and sped off as fast as I could, we could not stop laughing all the way to school! Now, all evening, Dylan and Lily have asked me for a repeat performance of my special rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow."  That is definitely going to be one for the books!

Mommy

(2014) This is Lily pretending to be me, reading glasses and all!  She's just about got it right ... just needs a few more dark circles under her eyes from exhaustion!

No Go

This is a bit weird ... the grinning Dad with the mustache wearing this one piece reindeer outfit would be a definite NO GO for the guys at our house! #Taylormenwouldntbecaughtdeadinreindeerhoodiepjs. 😂😂😂

Woo’d

Wow ... I came out of work today and noticed my car was parked in a different spot.  When I got in I saw that Skeet had come and gotten my car while I was teaching an afterschool club and got the emissions done, an oil change, and filled it up with gas.  Now THAT is how to woo a woman!  :)  Thanks, buddy!

Fluffy

(2013) The boys have been picking on their poor baby sister tonight ... she decided her new name is "Fluffy" but they keep "forgetting" to call her that and are calling her "Gaylord" and "Achmed" and "Red Hot Joe" and a host of other names that are making her VERY mad!!!  I hate to say it, but I'm cracking up! "Fluffy", however, is NOT laughing!

Whistle

Whoever gave Dylan a basketball ref whistle that's been blowing nonstop since 7 AM better sleep with one eye open tonight ...

Just Where He Needs Me...

This past Sunday, we made our weekly lunch stop at Eagles Landing after church. We ended up sitting right beside an elderly man who was eating alone. Even as a young child, I've always had a very tender heart for the elderly and have always felt sad when I see them alone, especially at a restaurant. We sat down and right away the gentleman and I began chatting and he ended up telling us all about how he works at the hospital to cheer up patients there and how he was looking forward to any upcoming trip to New Orleans where he grew up. By his thick New Orleans accent, it was easy to tell he'd lived there a long time!  He told us stories about playing hide and seek in an old three story house that his grandmother owned there when he was a child.  He told us about living all around the US before retirement and about his grown children. And then, with tears in his eyes, he told us his wife had died two weeks ago and they had been married for 54 years.  At that moment, I was so glad the Lord had placed us in his path on that rainy Sunday afternoon. Little did we know that God was at work as we walked through those doors and placed us right where He needed us to cheer and comfort someone we didn't even know. I was so grateful to have spent some time talking with this sweet man, and it brought to mind the words of the song ...

What can I say to cheer a world of sorrow?
How bring back hope where men have sorely failed?
Just where I am I'll speak the word of comfort,
Tell how for me Christ's sacrifice availed.
 
Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.

What can I do to ease life's heavy burdens?
What can I do to help mankind in need?
Just where I am I'll share my neighbor's hardship,
Lighten his load, and prove a friend indeed.

Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.

Ronald McDonald

I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning!  I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive.  If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc.  Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead.  When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me!  Scared me to DEATH!  I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!!  Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!

Write In Vote

Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS!  He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices!  He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one!  I'll probably win!!!!

50 Shades

So glad I FINALLY got to color my hair today before it got the starring role in 50 Shades of Blond, Orange, Gold, and Gray!!!

CrossFit

(2014) Driving Bran up to CrossFit tonight ... I'm going to sit in the car and eat a cookie while I wait for him.  Hahahahahaaa!!!!

Daddy

(2010) It's official ... Skeet has been out of town WAY too much the past few months.  How do I know this?  Because tonight a very scraggly pizza delivery man with a white stubble beard and no teeth came to the door, and Lily ran down the hall towards him screaming "Daddy".  Nice awkward moment for Mommy, to say the least!

Discount Tires

Today I had to take my car to Discount Tires to get a tire replaced that had a nail in it.  (Me + Discount Tires is already the beginning of a horror story in my book.)  At any rate, though the guy helping me was super nice, I just wanted to get in and out of there with a fast quote on how much it would cost to order my new tire so Robert Skeet Taylor could go get it later.  Unfortunately, Enthusiastic Tire Guy had different plans.  He proceeded to teach me everything I never wanted to know about tires and tire pressure.  He showed me a whole bunch of stickers on the inside of my car door that I didn't care about, he told me all sorts of numbers for correct air pressure in my tires, he showed me a bunch of charts about green, yellow, and red tire tread zones, and then he talked for over thirty minutes about the Georgia Bulldogs and their football season.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there are any TWO things in the WORLD that I have NO interest in AT ALL, it's CAR PARTS AND SPORTS TEAMS. Though I smiled and said "cool" at this barrage of "fun facts," I began secretly wishing I had nails in my ears instead of my tire!  For that hideous hour, I truly thought the Ascension had happened and I had not been chosen, because I'm pretty sure I got a glimpse of HELL today at Discount Tires.

Bribe

(2011) Had to "bribe" the kids to get in the tub tonight by adding some red and yellow food coloring to the water ... they now have a bright orange "Halloween" bath!  They jumped right in after that!

Bear Hunt

(2012) Mom and Dad are on their annual October trip through the Carolinas so Lily and I went over to their house this evening to water their flowers. Lily completely could not understand WHY Grammie and Papaw were not at their house. I told her they were on a trip. She thought a while then said, "So ... they're on a bear hunt?" Uh ... no, Lil.  I'm not thinking Grammie picked a "bear hunt" for her anniversary trip this year!

Fortune Cookie

(2014) We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant tonight and when it came time to read the fortune cookies, we had a hilarious faux pas!  Lily asked to read Skeet's fortune out loud to all of us and, without any help, proceeded to read, "You will have good-looking personal affairs."  WHAT?!!!  Skeet was LOVING that fortune, until I snatched it and said, "Sorry mister.  It actually says, 'You will have good LUCK in your personal affairs!"   Oops ... letting a first grader read your fortune may alter your fate quite a bit, apparently!!

Inspired

(2012) GREAT Men's Sunday service at church today!!!  The theme was  "God's Power Tools" which Dylan really loved and listened to.  One funny thing though ... a men's chorus sang the upbeat chorus  "At Calvary" and Dylan thought they were singing "At Halloween."  He was very inspired!

News Flash

(2013) News flash for the family ... Lilly Claire informed me that she has changed her name to "Fluffy Belle."  Just FYI!

Halloween Costume

(2015) Sooooo much work ahead of me to make Bran into decent husband material one day ... case in point:  Tonight I walk into his room with all this highlighting product goop in my hair, my head covered with a huge plastic bag, moisturizer cream on my face, my pink robe on, and my black glasses.  My husband is smart enough not to comment (years of training).  My son, however, says, "What the heck, Mom?!  Is that your Halloween costume?!!!"  Yes, I did swat him!  :)  Brandon Taylor

Sweet Hubby

(2011) I have a sweet hubby ... You know I've been searching for a formal dress this week and I was bemoaning the fact that I'd tried on a dress I had ordered and it looked HORRIBLE when I actually put it on.  I texted Skeet dramatically, "UG! My new dress looks super horrible on me and now I hate myself!!!"  He instantly texted back, "Must be something wrong with the dress."  Made my day!  Thanks, buddy!

New Name

(2011) Lily Claire will not answer me at all tonight unless I remember to call her by her new self-given name, "Strawberry Shortcake."

Parenting

(2014) Had a heartfelt moment with my teenage son tonight, which for those of you who live with "stoic" men like mine, know those can be pretty rare.  Bran had gotten in some trouble this week and we had doled out the consequences, which were a lot more stiff than others.  Bran accepted the consequences without argument and faced up to his mistakes in a brave and honest way, but it was a tough on all of us.  Tonight as he and I were quietly talking things over again, I said, "I know we're probably the strictest of all the parents."  Bran replied, "Yeah .. but I think it's because you care the most."  Parenting is a tough job and I teared up hearing that from him  ... not something you think your 15 year old son would understand or realize in the moment.  He will never really know how fiercely we do love and care and how very, very proud we are to be his parents.

Burping

A funny school story today...
In our classroom, we have lots of talks about being polite and
using manners, especially when ladies are present. This is a whole new concept for third grade boys in particular!!  Today, we decided to eat lunch together in the classroom, and halfway through the Magic School Bus episode, I noticed two of my boys had left the classroom and were standing out in the hallway. I called out to them and said, "Guys ... why are you in the hall?"  Very seriously they said, "Mrs. Taylor, we had to step outside because we were burping A LOT around ladies."  I could hardly keep a straight face while thanking them for their admirable courtesy!! 😂

Raid

There was some big bug in the Lily's room and being the HERO that I am, I went upstairs with my Raid Can and sprayed it for like five minutes (never can be too careful!).  Anyway Dylan and Lily came running downstairs again and said the bug was still moving.  "How is that possible?!" I shouted.  "I sprayed about half a can of Raid on it!"  When I went back upstairs, I realized that I had NOT sprayed the BUG, I had sprayed a black KEN DOLL SHOE that was on the carpet instead!!  I'm getting old... apparently I need my reading glasses these days even to exterminate.

Pizza Man

(2011) Ok, so it's usually Lily Claire who is scared of the pizza delivery guy but tonight it was ME!  This older man who delivered our pizza tonight talked to me at the door for over thirty minutes about how "rich bums are building skyscrapers while dogs are in cages getting killed and a black hole could come and swallow us up."  I just kept smiling and nodding and agreeing with everything he said!!!!

Vacation

(2013) I think Lily has been misunderstanding all these weeks when I tell her that Skeet is out of town.  He's gone on business trips a few days of each week, but today in the car Lily asked me, "Why does Daddy take so much vacations?!"  Cracked me up!!!

Hint

Guess Lily was giving me a hint that I've been cleaning the house too long today in my raggy PJs with my hair a wreck when she said in a very sweet voice, "Mom, are you going to get dressed soon?  You always look lovely when you're not in pajamas."  Hahahaaa!

You’re a Creep

I'm still cracking up at an awkward moment I had at the grocery store today!  I was sort of lost in my own thoughts about what I was looking for in the store and a weird song was playing over the loud speaker (which is ALWAYS the case at Kroger, I must say ... don't get me started on being trapped in there with Dan Fogelburg ... ug!)  ANYWAY, the radio singer was belting out, "Forget about that wedding band, tonight I want to be your man" to which I said out loud, "Wow, you're a creep!"  Unfortunately the guy who I then noticed was standing right next to me in the frozen section did NOT know I was talking to the radio and gave me a very bad look as I scurried away as fast as I could!!!!  Oops. I'm sure he's still wondering why I called him a big creep for looking at the frozen pizzas!

Purgatory

I'm pretty sure there is a level of Dante's purgatory called "Doing book reports with Middle School boys."  Shoot me now.

Chick Fil A

(2014) The boys are all at the BHS football game and Lily wanted me to take her to Chick Fil A.  When we got there she wanted to stay and play on the playground but I had just planned to go through the drive thru.  I told her, "Lily, I didn't bring my Kindle or any book to read while you play!  I won't have anything to do!"  She thought a minute and suggested, "Well, you could sing a little song and play with my pink Webkinz beaver."  Hmmmm ....  I'd like to see the looks I'd get in Chick Fil A if I were to sit alone in a booth and do that!  Hahahahaa!

Grits

(2014) I have succeeded in raising my kids as true Southerners!  I told Lily I was going to go order pizza for supper and she said, "No, Mom, let's order grits!"  That's my girl!

Precious

(2014) I love five year olds.  I showed Lily an online picture of the baby panda cubs from the Atlanta zoo and she stood by the computer petting them (on the screen) and talking to them in a soft, high, sweet voice for about five minutes.  Precious.  Wish she could stay little forever.

Evaporation

I am amazed at the apparent rapid rate of tater tot evaporation ... Anytime I send Brandon Taylor to Sonic to get some for me, half the pack is somehow gone by the time it gets home to me!!!!!  Hmmmmmm......

Girl Cheese

(2013) Grammie and Papaw came over tonight for homemade chili and to watch a movie. I was asking everyone if they wanted a "grilled" cheese sandwich with their chili and Lily shouted, "YES! I want a "girl" cheese sandwich!" Papaw laughed and said, "I want a "girl" cheese sandwich, too!" Lilly put her hands on her hips and said, "No Papaw, you have to have a BOY cheese sandwich!"

Old School

I am an old school elementary school teacher and proud of it!  I am pleased to say that tonight I rummaged out my "candy corn" earrings and my pumpkin vest for the upcoming season!  Now all I need to find are those cute socks with ghosts and black cats on them!!! Eat your hearts out, you young teachers!

Villainy

(2014) Lily loves to make crafts, but tonight she came to me looking completely dejected with some sort of foam ball drenched in Elmer's glue and moaned dramatically, "OH NOOOO!!! Mom .. I am a GLUE GLOBBER." It is apparently a TERRIBLE crime. I just can't believe my sweet baby girl has turned to a life of glue globbing villainy at such a young age.

King Henry

So I've been zealously watching "The Tudors" on Showtime and am now madly in love with King Henry VIII (sorry, Skeet).  Then I read a bio about the REAL Henry and find, in truth, he was obese, smelled bad, and had oozing ulcers on his legs.  Hmmm ... never mind, Henry, I've changed my mind.

Simple

(2014) I love that even in this "high-tech" age, little ones are still pretty simple folks.  Lily spent today drawing chalk pictures on the sidewalk, playing hopscotch, building with blocks, playing with Mr. Potato Head, rocking her baby dolls, coloring in a coloring book, playing in a sandbox, collecting acorns, catching falling leaves, and planting flowers in a flower pot.  Nothing sophisticated or complicated ... just simple, old-fashioned fun.  She had a blast... I wish she could stay four years old forever!

Your Crazy's Showin'

You know you've been raised by a Southern mama when .... your husband rehires the cleaning service to help you around the house and you are frantically cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen so they won't be dirty when the cleaning lady shows up!!! As we say around here, "Your crazy is showing .. better tuck it back in!!!"

"Super Cute"

(2011) Great.  Dylan talked me into watching a show with him on Animal Planet called "Viking Wilderness."  One whole part was this long footage of these big bears mating and Dylan said, "Awwwwwww!  Mom, look!  That bear is hugging the baby bear!!!"  Of course I quickly agreed it was "super cute" and then tried to change the subject!!!!

God's texting ...

I signed Bran up a few years back for text messages from a Youth Group at one of our local churches.  They text Bible verses, etc.  Anyway, his phone went off right in the middle of class today and the teacher looked mad.  Bran said, "Sorry, church is texting me" and the teacher said, "Oh ... ok then, go ahead and answer."  That cracked me up!!!!  Guess when God texts, by george, you ANSWER!

Criminals

(2015) Funny story from today!  Dylan and Lily were playing "cops and robbers" and they had created this fort thing out of blankets, etc, that was supposed to be the "jail."  Apparently, Lily was the criminal who had been apprehended and put in the "jail."  A while later, Dylan crawled in the jail with her and I heard her say really seriously to him, "So ... What are you in for?"  I laughed out loud!!!!

British

Dylan walks through the family room tonight and asks, "Mom, why do all your shows have British people in them?"  Guess I've been watching too much PBS lately!

Buffalo Wings

(2014) Got a huge laugh at Dylan's parent/teacher conference today!  His teacher was sharing with me a piece he had written about which Native American tribe he would like to have been part of in early America.  Dyaln chose the Pawnee because "he wanted to hunt buffalo and use buffalo for his tent and clothes and he really loves eating buffalo wings."  He seriously wrote that and was dead serious!  We were cracking up!!

Grown man

Was stopped at the grocery store tonight by a GROWN MAN WITH TWO CHILDREN who said, "Mrs. Taylor!  Do you remember me?  You were my 5th grade teacher!"  AAAHHHHH!!!  I obviously was five years old when I was his teacher!!!!

No-No

(2015) I am laughing sooo hard!  There is a commercial on for that hair removal product called the  "No No" and Lily said in all seriousness, "Daddy needs that." She can never understand why the guys have hair on their chests and legs and refers to it as their "fur."  Guess the "No No" would take care of their unfortunate "fur" problems!!! I cannot stop laughing!!

Love, Mom

There is one very happy 18 year old college student in Franklin Springs, GA tonight.  I got a call around 9 PM from Bran ..."Mom, we just finished baseball practice and I am starving, but the school cafeteria is closed, no one delivers here, and I have no money."  About 10 minutes later after making a phone call, I sent him a text ... "Go to the Pizza Hut at Franklin Springs Circle.  There is a large pizza and a 2 liter drink waiting for you in your name. It's paid for. Love you, Mom". Took him a half second to text back, "ON MY WAY!!!"  He may be 18, but it still makes this mom's heart happy to take care of her boy.  I don't get that chance too often anymore! ❤️

ITunes

(2010) Things you hear yourself saying to a 7th grader supposedly doing his homework at the computer .... "Since when can you research biomes on Itunes?"

Clean Sheets

(2014) Lily and I were snuggling in the bed together and I said, "Doesn't your bed feel the best when it has these soft, clean sheets on it?"  She put her little arms around my neck and said, "My bed feels the best when you're in it, Mama."  Nothing better than being loved by a little girl.

Thugs

Cracked up at the bookstore today ... there was seriously a book on the shelf called "THUGS ...and the women who love them."  Hope I won't need to buy that book any time soon!  I think I'll stick with Pride & Prejudice.

Yes

(From 2011) Dylan was in the room while I was watching "Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta" and this bride's grandma kept saying no very emphatically to every dress the girl put on. Dylan got mad and said, "Grandmas aren't supposed to act like that. They are supposed to say "yes" ... to EVERYTHING!"

Lizard

Of course.  Skeet is put of town, Bran isn't here and now there is a lizard in the kitchen. I just threw a box on it and now must go get the neighbor kid who likes them to come get it.  I don't need those kind of stress!!!!!!! 😂😂🐍🐍

Hair

(From 2014) Lily got to choose an item from the dollar store for filling her "teeth brushing" chart for two weeks, so she chose this GORGEOUS fake long hair!  She said, "EVERYONE, except God, will think it's REAL!"

Sentimental

Feeling a bit sentimental and philosophical tonight as I have watched my  kids play with a whole basket of dress up clothes and costumes and laughing themselves silly, coloring pictures of pumpkins with the beloved 64 box of crayons, being outside throwing balls, riding bikes, playing tag, squealing, cheering when it's Macaroni and Cheese for supper ... I know we are told all the time that the kids of today are more "sophisticated" and that we need to prepare them for a whole different world from what we know .. but actually, I think children are the same as they've ever been in all the truly important ways. Yes, the world will be different for them in many ways, but the REAL things in life ... love and family and faith and kindness ... the truly important things of the heart, will always be the same. As for tonight, I'm smiling as I watch my own children tossing away the imposed cares of the grown up world for as long as they can and simply enjoying the carefree days of childhood.

Shoot

Kitchen sink got all backed up and when Skeet got under there to try and see what was wrong with the disposal, the whole thing exploded!  Everything got soaked with dirty water, including Skeet's face and work clothes.  I know that's not funny but ... that's FUNNY!!!!!!  I am proud that all he yelled was "Shoot"!

Annoying

Skeet, Bran, Dylan, Lily and I were in the car this evening heading to a restaurant.  Here is the conversation between Lily and Dylan ...
Dylan: (making all sorts of weird faces and noises)
Lilyl:  Dylan STOP!!!
Dylan: (continues making all sorts of werid faces and noises)
Lilyl:  Dylan, STOP IT!  You are being annoying!
Dylan: (still making all sorts of weird faces and noises)
Lilly: STOP DYLAN!  EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE ANNOYING!
Long pause ...
Dylan: Grammie doesn't. (Then Dylan continues with weird faces and noises.)
Cracked me up because it's SO true!

Bacteria

Lily just informed me that she would NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could have a LOT of "bacteria."  A true romantic in the making ... 😂😂😂😂

Dad

Nothing like having your sweet 80 year old Dad show up at your front door just to give you a hug and be with you after hearing you've had a really rough day.  Enjoying having him sitting in the recliner chair, watching football and just chatting and laughing. I have the best family in the world.

Pink Polish

Stopped to get my toes done after school today and sat next to the sweetest older lady.  She laughed at the very bright pink polish going on my toes and told me she only dared wear neutral colors on her nails.    She kept looking and looking at my polish and finally I said, "Go ahead!! Try the hot pink!  You only live once!"  And she did!!!!  We both walked out of there with the brightest pink toes you've ever seen and that sweet, little lady was grinning ear to ear!  Love it!!!!

Exhausted

I hope my family appreciates the blood, sweat, and tears I put into slaving over a hot stove for their supper tonight!  They wanted soup and sandwiches, so I opened SEVERAL pop-top cans of tomato soup BY MYSELF, then lovingly wrapped each grilled cheese sandwich in Sonic takeout foil. I am EXHAUSTED. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it ...😂😂😂😂). #bestmomever.

Slime

Lily just proudly showed me some huge blob of slime she made and then I realized she was carrying it around on top of her children's Bible!! What?
Me: "SLIME on your Bible, Lil? Really?!
Lily: GASP!!! Oops!!!!
Me: I'm calling Jesus right now to tell on you.
Lily: (running to get it off) Nooooooooo!!! I'm sorry, Jesus!!!!!
😂😂😂😂

Spanish

(From 2015) My second graders were writing today, and I saw some of the kids making capital letter mistakes, which had been a little mini lesson previously.  I said, "Uh oh!  Be careful everybody. I see some folks putting capital letters where they don't belong, and vice versa."  One of my little ones looked up in surprise and gasped,"Mrs. Taylor!  I didn't know you spoke Spanish!"

Hurricane

Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days. Our conversation ...
Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?
Bran: No, I'm staying here.
Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?
Bran: Yeah, I'm ready.
Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?
Bran: I bought a kite ...

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Getting Old

You know you're getting old when .... you try and type a text message on your son's very tiny phone WITHOUT your reading glasses and instead of sending a message that says, "We need to check the freeon in the red truck" you send a message that says "We need to heck freeing in the red truck."  Laughed out loud when I got a message back from Skeet that simply said, "WHAT?"

The Skirt

(From 2013) Lily and I were pulling in our garage and our new neighbors were outside ... the dad and two of his children.  Very sweet people!  They are from a Middle Eastern culture and the dad was wearing some sort of traditional clothes/outfit from their country.  Our windows in the car were down and I waved and smiled as we passed them, and so did Lily.  Except she also smiled and happily shouted, "Hello to the dad wearing a skirt!"  Oh lord. I'm pretty sure we've single-handedly set back the status of current world relations.

Tomatoes and Dogs

Last night I watched an old movie and the men kept referring to all the women as "tomatoes" and "dogs"!!! One guy even told a girl she wasn't as much of a dog as he thought she was, and apparently that was a compliment!  Then, the guy's mom, who had a gray bun, glasses,and knitted in a rocking chair the whole movie, was worried that her son would kick her out of the family home when he got married because she was so old.  She then revealed that she was 50!! What??!!!!

Lollipop

(From 2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE rainbow colored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow- colored!"   UG!!

Nick Sabin

This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?
Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!
Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.
Me: Oh.

Dance Fever

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real cute, creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!

Genius

Had NO IDEA that I was raising a child prodigy.  I was getting my nails done yesterday and Lily picked out a color that I actually loved, so I decided I'd use it.  In complete seriousness she said, "Well, I AM sort of a genius about nail polish."  WOW!  Didn't realize I had birthed the Albert Einstein of the nail color world!  Good to know!

Bunny

(From 2012) I love the imagination of 4 year olds ... I was laying with Lily Claire last night in her bed while she fell asleep and she said, "Mama, let's pretend that you are the mommy bunny and I am the baby bunny and we are down in our little rabbit hole underground."  So we did!  We had a lot of fun in that little rabbit hole together!

Take A Gun

I am watching a cute movie made in 1968 starring James Garner and Debbie Reynolds. They have a teenage son who wants to bum around Europe all summer and the kid just said, "Dad, I will be fine going by myself because I believe that all around the world love and trust protects us all."  The dad replies, "I've been all around the world ... Take a gun."  Cracked me up!!!  Sounds like a conversation that would happen in my house!!!!!

Grammie's Baby

(From 2011) Lily tripped and hurt her knee, then very adamantly informed me, "Mama, you have to cuddle Grammie's baby when she's hurt!"  Three guesses WHO "Grammie's baby" is?  Yes, of course, Lily Claire!

Hang Up

(From 2010) Lily Claire was playing with my cell phone (which was turned off) and I asked her who she was "talking" to.  She happily answered "Santa Claus".  A few moments later she slammed the phone down and said, "I hang up because Santa Claus was being mean to me!"  That's a two year old for you!!!

Lifetime

So I've decided I'm much more of a Hallmark Channel girl than Lifetime.  Lifetime movies always make me feel creepy and are either scary or depressing, though it's supposed to be a channel that most women love!  I'll stick with the somewhat cheesy, sentimental, feel good Hallmark movies any day! Guess I'll go watch "Operation Cupcake" now rather than "My Teenage Babysitter's Secret Life As An Alcoholic Axe Murderer Who Seduced My Husband's Brother Who Has a Chronic Illness."

Skippy

Dylan, Dylan, Dylan...  I don't know where he comes up with half the things he does or says ... you just NEVER know what is next.  Today at school, his teachers told me that in all seriousness, he has asked all of them to call him by 'the nickname that his entire family calls him' ... "Skippy."  SKIPPY??  I, nor ANYONE in our entire family, has EVER called Dylan "Skippy"!!!!!!  What on earth?!!  He could have at least chosen something a tad less nerdy!!  (From 2014)

Loaf

Ummm.... Dylan just informed me that we need a new "loaf" of toilet paper in his bathroom. Boys crack me up!

Face Mask

So we had the Boosterthon Fun Run today at school which was super fun, but by the time I got home, I felt grimy and gross. I decided I'd indulge in a little self repair, including coloring my hair (NOT that I have any gray to cover or anything), taking a hot shower, and trying out this new charcoal face mask product that's supposed to make your skin really clean and soft. I'm doing my thing upstairs and had been settled into our bedroom recliner chair for about 20 minutes, looking quite lovely I might add, in my old robe, glasses, hair coloring goop, and a super thick layer of black charcoal mask drying on my face that's supposed to gently peel off when ready. Now those of you who know my husband, Robert Skeet Taylor, know he is a man of few words. For 26 years he has quietly and patiently put up with all my ideas and antics and shenanigans with school and with the kids, etc, with nothing more than maybe a quiet look of bewilderment or silent resignation. Tonight, however, he walked into our room and took one look at me and stopped dead in his tracks. "WHAT is THAT?!!" he asked SUPER loud, looking at my charcoal face. Well, of course, this got me tickled, and when I starting laughing, the whole dried mask cracked and fell off, which I think threw Skeet into further shock!!! So much for trying to have a beauty spa night in peace around here!!!

Roast

Tonight I was miffed when Dylan came home at supper time with a big bag of hamburgers after I'd made a roast. Halfway through dinner I look over and see that Dylan has put huge hunks of roast on each hamburger and is eating them!!! "See Mom! The roast didn't go to waste!" he proudly informed me. Only a 14 year old boy!!!

Pillow Talk

Every single news story I ever hear or read makes me upset.  I am now officially ONLY EVER going to watch Doris Day and Hallmark movies forever for the rest of my life starting today.  If you ever want to discuss current events with me, make sure it is something about Pillow Talk.  That is all.

Raccoon

Lily Claire asked me if I took ballet class when I was a little girl ... of course I did!  I dug out this old picture from 1976 of a recital where I was a racoon in a "Snow White" ballet!  I LOOOOVED that sparkly costume!  Lily and Dylan laughed and laughed when I showed them!

Genies

Lily was on Dylan's phone this evening and when he got it back he showed me what she had typed into the search bar ... What a sweet age it is to be eight when you still believe in everything magical! 😊❤️

Sharpies

(2016) Lily was coloring a math sheet tonight which spurred on this conversation ....
Lily: (enthusiastically) I love Sharpies!!!! Do you?
Me: Yes, I love them!
Lily: Do you them as much as you love me?
Me: Hmmmmm .... I think I love Sharpies a little more. 😂
Lily: (laughing) Nu-uh, Mommy!  You love me to "affinity." (infinity)
She doesn't even know how right she is. ❤️

Video Games and Jesus

I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Hot Dogs

While having our gourmet dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese tonight, Lily informed us all that they weren't "hot dogs", they were "warm dogs."

Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ...

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.
Grammie:  A brownie sticker?
Brandon:  No, BROWNING.
Grammie:  What is Browning?
Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.
Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)
Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)
Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!
Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.
Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!
Brandon:  Sunglasses.

I Love Southern Boys?

I am cracking up ... I "liked" a page that said "Like if you are a Luke Bryan fan."  Well now I'm a "fan" of some page called "I Love Southern Boys" and there hasn't been ONE post about Luke Bryan, but there's been about 100 posts of photos of muscle-y cowboys with no shirts on!  Not exactly what I thought I was signing up for!!!!!!  I kept scrolling down my page wondering, "WHO is sending me all these cowboy pictures?!!!"

Meow

Lily sang along PERFECTLY with every single country song that came on in the car today as we were running errands ... Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan ... the only problem was that instead of the lyrics to the songs, she would sing "meow" to EVERY SINGLE WORD!  It was her day to be a "kitty" and I thought I would lose my mind on what became the longest car ride in history!

Robbers

(2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed..  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Unicorn

I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!  (2014)

Summer Reading

Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Aim

Observation about the male species .... They spend their lives perfecting aiming a ball through a six foot high net, or aiming a teeny tiny white ball into a cup sized hole onto a green hundreds of feet away, or nailing a ball right into a hand- sized glove way,way,way out from centerfield.  The Taylor males succeed at ALL of these almost 100% of the time.  So my question is, how is it that these skilled males have NO AIM IN THE BATHROOM???  As I clean the bathrooms yet again this week, I ask you,  WHERE is the expert aim and skill, guys????  Step up your game, boys ... PLEASE!!

Whiskey

Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whiskey."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!

Stop Calling, Steve!

My funny story for this week ... we have home phones that will "announce" who is calling once the phone rings.  It's a lady computer type voice that can be hard to understand sometimes.  Anyway, the other morning I was super busy trying to arrange haircuts, get house chores done, and get Bran ready to take to senior pictures, etc.  And, of course, the phone kept ringing and ringing all morning.  Every time the caller ID said, "Call from ... Steve."  I never actually looked at the phone or number since I was busy and by the third call from "Steve," I was shouting back to the caller ID, saying things like, "STEVE, I don't know you!" ... "Steve, Quit calling me, I'm busy!" and "STEVE, GIVE IT UP!  STOP CALLING!!!"  Finally after about four or so calls from Steve, I stomped over to the phone as it rang again and I actually READ the caller ID ... which said "SKEET" NOT "Steve," as the lady computer voice kept saying!  (Guess she didn't have anything in her database for the word SKEET.)  Poor Skeet had been calling all those times from Pep Boys, needing a ride home while they worked on his car.  Oh dear.  I will definitely be taking calls from STEVE from now on!  Hahahaaa!  Sorry, Skeet!  :)

Pokémon Go

Dylan wanted to play Pokemon Go during the sermon in church this morning. Of course I looked "shocked" and said, "NO!" To which Dylan replied, "I wanted to see if Pokemon could find Jesus in here ..." Nice try, Dyl.

Brandon 101

Life with Brandon Taylor 101:  if your mom piles all the clothes, socks, hats, food wrappers, and Gatorade bottles from your floor to your bed, don't do something ridiculous like put it all away. Just sleep on a tiny open space on the floor instead. 🙄 #collegestudentlogic.

REALLY Old

Bran was telling me tonight about some car show he had been watching on TV and he said, "Cool, Mom, they totally remodeled this REALLY SUPER, SUPER OLD, OLD CAR so it looks good now ... it was some car made in the 1970s!"  Um .. thanks, Bran.

Dry cleaning

Embarrassing moment of the day:  I took some clothes from our trip to the dry cleaners and obviously had not done a good job of sorting out the clothes in my suitcase when we got back.  Point in case:  after I dropped off the clothes to be cleaned, the nice, Indian dry cleaner man chased me down in the parking lot to return a pair of my underwear and a bra I had mixed in with the dry cleaning.  Nice.

Men's Room

Recieving the "mother of the year" award again today (hope you note the sarcasm there)!!!  Went to a different Walmart than our usual one and proceeded to march Lily Claire straight into the MEN'S RESTROOM!  It was on the left where the WOMEN'S restroom is at OUR Walmart and did I read the sign? Of course not!!!  Lily Claire stopped in her tracks and stared at the urinal and asked, "What do we do?"  "RUN!!!!!"  I said.  Thank the LORD there was no one in there or we both would have been scarred for life, I'm sure!!!

Moms

Lily Claire asked me if God could hear us.  I said, 'Yes, God always hears us and watches after us and takes care of us and loves us!"  Lily replied, "No He doesn't ... that's what MOMS do!"

Hooters

Ummmm... WHO in my house DVR'd the Hooters International Beauty Pageant?!!!!  ....  Brandon?!!

Hell

I've died and woken up in hell.

Oh no, wait ... I'm just trying to get my boys to do their summer reading with the dreaded assignments.  Same thing, really.

Men vs. Women

Ahhh, yes ... ever since the dawn of time, men have a hard time communicating with women.  Today, a little boy at the pool kept wanting to get Lily's attention and play with her in the water.  His tactic?  Hitting her with a beach ball in the head and getting right in her face and shouting over and over "LET'S PLAY DEAD BABY SHARK!"  Needless to say, Lily went kicking away angrily in the OPPOSITE direction with her Mermaid Barbie and My Little Ponies screaming, "NO!  I do NOT want to play dead baby shark!!!!"  Sorry fella.  Better luck next time!

Twins

Just told Dylan that the panda at the zoo had twins!  "Aren't ALL pandas pretty much twins?"  he asked.  Good point.

Terminology

Last night as we were reminiscing about the day, Dylan says to Lily and me, "Wow ... Sky Zone was so awesome!!! .... Except that one time in dodge ball when some kid pegged me in the jingle bells." Ummm ... Thank you, Robert Skeet Taylor, for teaching the boys such accurate scientific terminology.  And thank you, Dylan, for sharing this fascinating tidbit with your mom and sister. 🙄

Cat Jail

Several years ago on our mountain Trip, Lily tried to pet a cat that was wandering around and it scratched her. So she got her revenge by drawing a picture of the perpetrator in "cat jail." 😂😂

My Son

Yep. Bran's my son. He likes to drive barefoot, windows down, country music playing.

Bible Humor

A few weeks ago in "Mom's VBS," we learned about Joseph.  Lily and I happened to get this drink at the store last week and we said instead of Joseph's Coat, we got Joseph's Coke!  Hahaaaa!  A little Bible humor there for ya!

Sleepovers

You know your OCD fixation with vacuuming is out of control when your daughter is lying in bed at night going to sleep and says,"I don't like sleepovers at night because I miss the sound of your voice and the Roomba running." 😂😂

High Heels

Lily Claire is a definitely her mother's daughter (as if we didn't already know that!).  She was clomping around the house in these pink, plastic Cinderella high heel shoes and said,"Mom, these shoes really hurt!"  "Take them off," I said.  She looked shocked and said, "No!  They are cute high heels!"  Guess we all must suffer for beauty! :)

Citizen's Arrest

We bought a special promo cup for Brandon at RaceTrac that you can refill through August 1st for free every time you are there.  Today he drove past there and went in to fill his cup and leave.  Some older man (another customer) chased him out of the store screaming, "Hey!  Hey!  You didn't pay for that drink!!!  Come back and pay!!!"  Bran turned around and said, "It's a promo cup you can refill for free."  The guy said, "Oh." and went back in the store.  Guess it was a Mango Slushie Citizen's Arrest of some sort!  Sheesh! :)

Rushing Toward Success

Got tickled today at Walmart observing a teenage worker who was moving so slowly that I was concerned if she even had a pulse!  When we encountered her again in the store, I noticed her t-shirt said "Rushing Toward Success." It's going to be a long, long journey at that pace!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Art School

I was dusting the boys' room today and couldn't help but notice their clay projects from elementary school art class. Then it struck me .... WHY am I spending so much time worrying about good grades and hoping for sports scholarships when OBVIOUSLY a full ride awaits them in ART SCHOOL?! Donatello and Michelangelo really can't hold a candle to these quality sculptures. 😂😂

Bible Stories

Oh dear.  I am afraid Lily Claire is not quite grasping clearly the Bible stories I'm trying to teach her this summer!  She thinks Adam and Eve are "Abba and Denise" and now she just asked if she and her friend could watch "Jesus Gets Eaten By A Whale."  Nice. (2013)

Gander Mountain

Skeet made Lily and me go into Gander Mountain tonight while he bought bullets after going to the shooting range with Bran today. As you can image, we were thrilled.  Luckily, we spotted some fabulous merchandise while we were waiting!! Love me some yarn-y camo tree fluff suits!!!  Dreams do come true!

I Spy

A glimpse of what it is like to play "I Spy" with Lily Claire ...
LC:  I spy with my little eyes something rainbow!
Me:  Rainbow?  Ok ... (I guess about 20 things that could possibly be "rainbow" and none of them are it)  Lily, give me a hint!
LC:  Mom, it's rainbow WITH red, white, and blue and stars!
Me:  Is it that flag flying outside?
LC: YES!!!
Silly me!  I didn't know to look for the "rainbow, red, white, and blue with stars" item first thing!!!

Checking Account

The man at the bank that helped me over the phone had to pick out the design on my new checks when I had to shut down my old checking account suddenly a few weeks ago.  I told him that my current check design was flowers.  He said he had something perfect along those lines that I would like.  Today I opened the package of 200 new checks that arrived in the mail ... that are all WINNIE THE POOH!?!  Oh well.

Brain Waves

The faulty brain waves of sixteen year old boys, as evidenced by my conversation with Bran in the truck tonight ...
Me:  We're going to have a Fourth of July party at our house.
Bran:  When?

Shrimp Fried Rice

We ordered shrimp fried rice for supper tonight and I told Lily that she had to eat the rice, not just the shrimp (as she usually does).  When I came to get her plate later, the shrimp was gone, and here's what she had done with the rice!  She is soooo my child!

Great Value

Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Hero

I did my good deed for the day!  It was pouring rain when we turned into our neighborhood this afternoon. A little turtle was in the middle of the road, right in the path of the big garbage truck stopped one driveway away. I stopped the car, dashed out, and carried him over to the pine straw and out of the way of being crushed by the truck. It feels good to be a superhero ... even to a turtle! 😂🐢

Abba and Denise

Lily asked me tonight if we could watch the Beginner's Bible video about "Abba and Denise."  Yes, that would be Adam and Eve.  :)

Steak and Roller Skates

A little theology with Lily on the ride home today ... her questions ...
Does God ever spill anything?
If God gets thirsty and has to go get a drink, is He still watching you?
Are there roller skates in heaven?
Does Jesus eat steak?

Hmmmm ... good questions!  I think my answers were no, yes, yes, and yes.  I mean, is it really heaven without steak and roller skates??  I think not!

Blonde

Lily had us so confused today, and it was hilarious! She kept mumbling things and when someone couldn't hear her, she'd say, "Oh no. You're blonde." What?! Finally I asked her what that meant and she said, "Being blonde means you can't see!" Hmmm .. that's "blind" and you meant "deaf," Lil. Comedy of errors!

Yes To The Dress

WE SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!!!! ... at Toys R Us, that is! Lily spent her birthday gift card on this Cinderella princess bride gown! (Note the pink and yellow PJs underneath this super elegant gown!) When we put the veil on, Lily said "I LOOOOVE this bride hair!"

Front Teeth

My Lily makes me laugh so much!! She was mad when she realized she couldn't learn to whistle without her two front teeth, so the next thing I know, she had made some front teeth out of paper and taped them on!! I love this funny little girl!

Always With You

Sweet conversation with Lily in the car tonight ... she was a little worried about the thunderstorm warning that kept coming up on the radio. After a while she said to me, "You know what's a good thing about being a Christian? When you are scared you can say a prayer to God and He will help you not be scared and always be with you." Exactly right, sweet girl.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

Cheese Balls

Why do I let the kids talk me in to this kind of stuff in the summer???? A ginormous cheese ball barrel???? Full of essential vitamins and minerals, I'm sure!! Oh well. It's only summer once! Viva la Cheese Balls!

Teeny Tiny

Family, take note. I had a dental cleaning today and the hygienist said, and I quote, "You have a teeny, tiny mouth."  Quite the opposite of what I've been hearing for all these years!

Headache

Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Grandma Cora

Whenever Lily Claire (age 4)  plays with her baby dolls these days, she is "Mamma" and I am "Grandma Cora," for some unknown reason!  This was all fine and good until Lily started calling me Grandma Cora real loud in every restaurant and store in Snellville!

Crushed

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  Brandon apparently doesn't know his own strength!  We drove through Sonic for him to get a milkshake and when the lady handed it to him out the window he accidentally crushed the entire cup and the shake went all over his arm and hand!  I am STILL laughing!!!!!!!!!!

Golden Years

Well everyone .... It has begun. My descent into the golden years.  After a visit to the eye doctor today, I am the proud new owner of ....BIFOCALS!!! What???!!!!!  How did this happen??  Well, at least my new lenses have NO lines and my new frames have lots of sparkly rhinestones!  May as well "bling out" those golden years as much as possible and enjoy the ride!

Tank Top

Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck? 
Me: Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: AND put on deodorant ....
Me again: and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ,,,
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me) ...
Me again: and ..
Bran: (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!! I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me: I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale: All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome

Purist

Skeet and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Stuck

After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!).  Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!!  I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice.  I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?"  GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!

Snippets

Conversations with Lily (age 5) are always interesting!  A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!!  A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"

Epic

Eleven year old boys crack me up!  Dyl has three neighborhood friends over for an impromptu sleep over and they are playing video games, playing with old plastic wrestlers from eBay, and eating hamburger helper on paper plates.  I just heard one of the boys say, "This sleepover is EPIC!  The best one EVER!"  AND, apparently, my trash can lid that opens and closes by itself is "SICK" ... which is a HUGE compliment in "boy world!"  Please don't be jealous, other moms, of how awesome I am.

Summertime

I can tell it's summertime when my Walmart bill includes bubbles, suncatchers, fingerpaint, Captain Crunch, and Hi Ho Cherry-O!

Jingle Bells

Fellow moms out there will know that, every now and then, those "teachable moments" crop up when we can impart some sort of "life lesson" or "wisdom of the ages" to our children.   Case in point, the other day, Dylan and I were in a store, and he had to wait outside of the ladies room for me.  I told him to stay right by the cart and keep a careful eye on my wallet and keys while I dashed in and out. When I came out of the restroom, he had done just fine and had been sitting there, diligently holding my wallet in his hands.

As I was saying, "Good job" it dawned on me that I also needed to impart one more bit of motherly advice in this moment.  So I added, "Now you know, Dylan, if someone had come by and tried to take that wallet from you, I would want you to just give it to the guy so you would be safe.  I'd rather you be safe than worry about my wallet.  Anything in the wallet can be replaced, but you are irreplaceable."

Looking confused, Dylan responded, "So I should just GIVE the guy the wallet if he tries to steal it from me?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that my impromptu life lesson was obviously a smashing success.

"That's not what Daddy said to do,"  Dylan replied.

My heart warmed in that moment as I realized that Robert Skeet Taylor, too, had taken it upon himself to pass along some fatherly advice to Dylan about this very thing.  "Good job, Daddy," I smiled and thought to myself as I waited for Dylan to elaborate with some timeless nugget of fatherly wisdom.

"No," Dylan continued cheerfully, "Daddy said that if someone ever tried to steal something from me, I should kick the guy in the jingle bells and run like crazy."

Long silence (by me, as I am now speechless) ......  as I stare at a proud, grinning Dylan.

You know, somehow I just don't recall any such father/son wisdom between Andy and Opie or Ward Cleaver and the Beaver, or even one single "jingle bells" episode of  "Father Knows Best"...  I mean, imagine that!  Leave it to the sheer eloquence of the Taylor men of MY household.  Skeet Taylor ... REALLY?!!!  :)

The High Life

Bran just informed me that he "has it made" tonight ... he's laying in his bed watching the MLB channel on TV, he's got ESPN showing on the IPad, and he has a glass of sweet tea. He's living the teenage boy version of "the high life" apparently!

Over the Hill

Today's weird but true event: There is a small white church up the road from us that has a small graveyard beside it. Today one of the gravestones was decorated with all sorts of helium balloons, which to me was sort of funny. But then I noticed the balloons said "Over the Hill'!! What on earth?! Can you be "Over the Hill" after you have died?!  Maybe the balloons should have said "Under the Hill" instead!

Southern Girl

I am definitely raising a Southern girl!  I just asked Lily Claire what she wanted for a snack and she answered, "Yo-Grits", which is what she thought was the name for "yogurt."

Air Mattress

Dylan and Lily are going to watch a Lego Batman movie and they want me to get out the air mattress for them to lay on while they watch.  Lil just came running into my room and said, "Mom!  We need to get the air mattress all bloated up!"

Sweating

Had a lunch date with the kids after the puppet show this morning!  They wanted to go to McDonalds so they could also play on the playground.  When we first got there, I told them to go play, but within a few seconds Lily had come back to the table. In an APPALLED voice she told me, "I do NOT want to play in there right now because there is a kid in there who is SWEATING!"  Well, heaven forbid.  Once the offensive "sweat-er" left, she decided she'd go on in and play!  Good grief!!  After that, she and Dyl had a good time in the playground pretending to be a magic princess and a mean bear on the prowl ... all I know is there was a lot of squealing and running and growling going on in there!  Sure hope there was no SWEATING going on!

Woman Code 101

Ok, really?!  We went out for lunch after church and a lady stopped to admire some jewelry I was wearing.  As I am about to say "thank you" for her nice compliment, Robert Skeet Taylor shouts out, "It's not real."  Seriously???   Woman code 101 has just been seriously breeched. Why don't you go ahead and tell the whole place that I have fake highlights in my hair from a drugstore box and my glowing complexion comes from a tube and that it's not my real figure because I have on a tummy control shaper under my dress?!  Any man in his right mind should know you DO NOT spill the time honored "woman" secrets!  Honestly.  Men are from another planet.

Redneck

Brandon's joke for the day: "You know you're a redneck if your alligator has braces."

Hunk

Lily was describing Robert Skeet Taylor at lunch: "a person with black white gray hair, wrinkly forehead, hairy arms, and a scratchy face." WHAT A HUNK!!   😂😂😂

Gatorade

This is what you must resort to when you live with boys who eat and drink everything in the house ...even the brand new flavor Gatorade I bought for MYSELF that is ALL gone but this ONE last bottle!!!

Laundry

Seriously considering burning all the dirty laundry in a bonfire in the backyard rathering than doing it all today!  No one would notice a twenty foot burning pile of cloth in my backyard, would they?!!!

Jewel-Ball

Lily just asked me if she could have a JEWEL-BALL.  ????  Finally realized she was trying to say GERBIL!  I think the Jewel-Ball is a better option.

Grumpy Princess

Lily Claire had to dress up as a fairy tale character for preschool today, which sounded super fun last night, but this morning, Lily wasn't quite as thrilled.  Here is a 7 AM picture of the grumpiest princess you'll ever see!

New Number

Saw something soooo funny today ....  a church had apparently moved to a new location and all you could see from the road was their former sign.  Unfortunately, the lone sign was right in front of a graveyard and it said, "We have moved.  Call us at our new number."

Pure Heaven

Wow ... Perfect "almost summer" evening in Georgia. Taking a walk alone ... 63 degrees, breeze blowing, the sun almost ready to dip down for the night...  honeysuckle in the air and Rascal Flatts humming in my ear ... pure heaven for this Southern girl.

Lipstick

So I delievered some news to Lily Claire last night that was followed by ten minutes of uproarious squealing, jumping, twirling, and clapping with delight.  Did I tell her we had won the lottery?!  No.  Did I tell her we were going to Disney World?!  No.  Did I tell her she could wear pink lipstick to her ballet recital tonight?  Yes!  It was a major lipstick celebration at our house.

"Bandsintown"

I signed up for this site called "Bandsintown" that tracks when music groups that you like are going to be in town doing concerts.  It automatically gets information from your Itunes playlists and puts those artists in a tracking system for you.  It then gave me some suggestions for some other groups I might want to see in concert based on my current favorites.  I had to crack up when it suggested that I be notified when GENE KELLY was coming in concert!  That concert would be quite a marvel since he DIED in 1996!!  I DEFINITELY want to know about THAT concert so I can be the first to get tickets!

Foreign Creatures

Lily Claire comes downstairs after her bath this evening and Skeet says in all seriousness, "Hey Lil, you forgot your pajamas on the bottom."
Lil and me:  "It's called a nightgown, Daddy."
Skeet, "Oh."
Yes, Lily and I live as foreign creatures in a Man Cave.

Except Mom ...

One of my favorite memories of the boys is perfect for Mother's Day: one day they were arguing and Dylan kept telling Brandon what to do.  They came stomping up the stairs with Bran shouting, "DYLAN, STOP telling me how to live my life!!  NO ONE can tell you how to live your life!!!"  Then there was a pause and Brandon added, "Except Mom, she tells everyone how to live their life."  Glad he learned that early!!!  :)

Chocolate-Dipped

You gotta love 3rd grade baseball ... it was super hot at the field, one kid overheated, one kid broke his thumb, the team lost .... but the coaches took them to Dairy Queen after the game so all was right with the world!  Apparently, a chocolate dipped ice cream cone is the best cure for just about anything when you're 8 years old!