Snake

Not so good surprise under the recycle bin outside this morning!  Has one yellow stripe below its head. What kind is it?  I can never remember all the helpful rhymes to know if it's a bad snake .. With my luck It's probably "yellow stripe on its head will kill you dead" or "Find under a recycle taker and you'll meet your Maker" or something else ominous!!

Fried Rice

(2015) We ordered shrimp fried rice for supper tonight and I told Lily that she had to eat the rice, not just the shrimp (as she usually does).  When I came to get her plate later, the shrimp was gone, and here's what she had done with the rice!  She is soooo my child!!!

Faulty

(2013) The faulty brain waves of sixteen year old boys, as evidenced by my conversation with Bran in the truck tonight ...
Me:  We're going to have a Fourth of July party at our house.
Bran:  When?

Beef Jerky

(2013) Brandon Taylor made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Dad

One of life's simple pleasures. ... Calling my dad late each evening just to chat, talk about the weather or what we had for supper, check in on Mom, and laugh about a bunch of goofy stuff!  One of the best parts of my day. ❤️

Grandma

We were at Chili’s tonight and the young waitress looked at Skeet and said, “Here’s your ribs, sir.” Then she looked at Lily and said, “And here’s your chicken pasta.” Then she put my plate in front of me and sweetly said, “And here’s fajitas for grandma.”  What?! Seriously? #thisreallyhappened #NOtip

Abba and Denise

(2013) Lily asked me tonight if we could watch the Beginner's Bible video about "Abba and Denise."  Yes, that would be Adam and Eve.

Theology

(2014) A little theology with Lily on the ride home today ... her questions ...
Does God ever spill anything?
If God gets thirsty and has to go get a drink, is He still watching you?
Are there roller skates in heaven?
Does Jesus eat steak?

Hmmmm ... good questions!  I think my answers were no, yes, yes, and yes.  I mean, is it really heaven without steak and roller skaters??  I think not!

Barter

I am cracking up at the brother-sister barter system going on in the Taylor house! Dylan just offered Lily $3 to make him 4 grilled cheese sandwiches. Lily raised it to $4 and a deal was struck! 😂😂😂 (The only thing Lily failed to tell Dylan was that Buddy accidentally licked all his sandwiches before she delivered them… She was afraid he wouldn’t pay the full price if he knew!) 😂😂😂

Scorpio

Watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and when they were interviewing a "groom to be" about how he met is future bride, he said that they were perfect for each other because "they were both Scorpios and their tails were so easily intertwining."  Um ... Okay.

Storm

Sweet conversation with Lily in the car the other night ... she was a little worried about the thunderstorm warning that kept coming up on the radio.  After a while she said to me, "You know what's a good thing about being a Christian? When you are scared you can say a prayer to God and He will help you not be scared and always be with you."  Exactly right, sweet girl.
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalm 56:3

Radio

Had to keep myself from cracking up today at the Sprint store!  The young girl helping me fix a problem with my phone kept singing to the music that was playing on the radio in the store ... which would have been fine, except she was seriously singing three octaves higher than the melody AND on a completely different note!!!!

Green Stamps

Oh my goodness!  Watching an old film clip on TCM and this lady is buying a new toaster with her books of green stamps!  I totally remember my grandma collecting those!  Does anyone else remember that?

Bitmoji

Lily was choosing an outfit for her Bitmoji and chose one that was tight jeans with a crop top. She showed it to me, then said,”No, I better change that. Grammie wouldn’t approve.”  😂😂😂

Headache

(2012) Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Tiny

Family, take note. I had a dental cleaning today and the hygienist said, and I quote, "You have a teeny, tiny mouth."  Quite the opposite of what I've been hearing for all these years! 😂😂😂

Beards

(2012) After Bran's baseball game tonight, he told me he thought that the other team was a Varsity team.  I asked, "Why do you think so?"  and he said, "Well, because two of the players had full grown beards!"  Yup, we've never played against bearded kids before!  Cracked me up!!!!

Moose

(2013) Lily Claire asked me tonight if I remembered the time when she was three and we all rode on a moose in the hay on Christmas.  ..... um ...  no memory of THAT whatsoever!!!!  ?????

Pioneer

I was trimming some big tree branches today and started contemplating all the strenuous jobs I've completed in the yard this summer BY MYSELF in the blazing heat... chopping down several small trees, pruning all the giant bushes in our backyard (at least 50 or more), cutting back 15 or more prickly overgrown ugly bushes in our side yard by hand, using a chain saw to cut back 35 foot crepe myrtles then chop them up, hauling dead trees away, planting and transplanting dozens of bushes, tackling the poison ivy in our woods, cranking the gas blower BY MYSELF (after only about 300 yanks on that stupid pull cord ...who's dumb idea was that?) ... the impressive list just goes on and on.  I realized that indeed, I COULD have survived back in the day as a pioneer.  ... a grouchy, irritable, bitter pioneer, but a pioneer no less.

Ritual

(2017) Some traditions never die no matter how old you get ... pjs, the inflatable mattress, and Spongebob episodes at midnight. Still an honored Taylor summertime ritual!

Ditch

Why, yes, I did have to park on a big, soggy grass hill for the swim meet this morning, and YES, my car did get COMPLETELY stuck in a MUD DITCH on the way out!!!! I literally could not go forward or backward and mud was flying everywhere!!! It looked like I was trying to be some sad version of the Dukes of Hazzard! Thankfully, Brandon Taylor came to my rescue and had to PULL me out with a big rope hooked on to the Jeep Wrangler, with me in my car trying to move the wheels, while he shouted directions! Good grief! Never a dull moment with the Taylors, folks!

Haute Cuisine

Well, the boys have opened my eyes to a whole new world of haute cuisine tonight!  Who knew that Taco Bell had tacos with nacho cheese or cool ranch Dorito shells?  They must be good with as much as the boys begged me to go get them some!

Milkshake

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  Brandon apparently doesn't know his own strength!  We drove through Sonic for him to get a milkshake and when the lady handed it to him out the window he accidentally crushed the entire cup and the shake went all over his arm and hand!  I am STILL laughing!!!!!!!!!!

Bidocals

Well everyone .... It has begun. My descent into the golden years.  After a visit to the eye doctor today, I am the proud new owner of ....BIFOCALS!!! What???!!!!!  How did this happen??  Well, at least my new lenses have NO lines and my new frames have lots of sparkly rhinestones!  May as well "bling out" those golden years as much as possible and enjoy the ride!

Hershey Bar

Remember that I mentioned that it is 102 degrees here in Myrtle Beach?  I just discovered that Lily left a half eaten Hershey bar in the back seat of my car two days ago ....

Fireflies

Wow! My backyard is twinkling and shimmering with oodles of fireflies! #southernsummernight

Date

(2014) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...
Me: What time is the movie?
Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck?
Me:  Sure. Do you have money?
Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!
Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...
Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...
Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..
Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...
Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)
Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...
Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...
Me again: and ..
Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!
Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility.
Bran: Defeated sigh.
The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Weird

Robert Skeet Taylor and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Stuck

(2012) After I took Bran to his double header an hour early in Loganville today, I was going to be "super fun mom" and take Dylan and Lily to this McDonalds nearby to eat and play in the playground thing (I usually say NO when they want to do that!).  Of course, Lily got STUCK in the top of the playground that went TO THE CEILING and I had to CLIMB through all the tubes to get her down!!!!  I could barely fit in the tubes and my knees kept creaking and cracking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice.  I ran in to some little kid in one of the tubes and she said, "Why are YOU in here?"  GOOD QUESTION, KID! I guess there is a reason why 42 year olds don't have 4 year olds!!!!

Xbox

(2012) Mark this day down in family history ... Bran is letting Lily lay in his room with him AND use his Xbox to watch a Dora the Explorer Goes to the Beach movie!

Big Brother Babysitter

(2014) Bran was a smashing success as a babysitter for Lily tonight!  They watched Spongebob, ate fettuccine noodles that Bran made, and caught lightning bugs in a jar.  Lily had a blast!  Good job Bran!

Conversations

(2014) Conversations with Lily are always interesting!  A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!!  A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"

Epic

(2014) Eleven year old boys crack me up!  Dyl has three neighborhood friends over for an impromptu sleep over and they are playing video games, playing with old plastic wrestlers from eBay, and eating hamburger helper on paper plates.  I just heard one of the boys say, "This sleepover is EPIC!  The best one EVER!"  AND, apparently, my trash can lid that opens and closes by itself is "SICK" ... which is a HUGE compliment in "boy world!"  Please don't be jealous, other moms, of how awesome I am.  Hahahaaaaa!!!

Summertime

(2018) Five fifteen year old boys + four pizzas + ten Gatorades + one basketball = summertime at the Taylor house ❤️🙂☀️🍕🏀

Babysitting

(2014) Bran is babysitting LIly for me tonight for the first time while I go with Skeet to a business dinner.  When we were in the car, I told him, "Bran, you'll get paid $5 an hour for babysitting tonight." From the backseat Lily said, "So Bran has to pay me $5 to babysit me?"  Not quite, Lily!!  :)

Teenagers

During the summer months, a lot of teenagers are working at the stores and fast food restaurants, which can sometimes lead to some pretty funny experiences. (To get the full effect here, you have to make the teenager voice below sound like a sort-of clueless surfer dude ...) ANYWAY, the other day, Papaw drove through Sonic to get a large strawberry limeade drink, and after he ordered, the teenage worker piped through the speaker asking, "So ... would you like ketchup and mustard with that, sir?"  Ummm .. no thanks.  Trying to cut back on the ketchup on my limeades these days.   THEN, Bran and I drove through Sonic a few days later and ordered a "vanilla ice cream with hot fudge."  The teenager voice came back through the speaker, "So ... like ... that will be one diet coke with hot fudge?"  Ummm ... no.  We don't usually get hot fudge ON our diet coke.  We were CRACKING up!  Keep up the good work, teenagers!  Feeling real confident about ALL of our futures with you guys next up to run the world.  :)

Future

(2012) Lily Claire informed me today that she is going to grow up and be a "gorgeous fairy", have a wedding, and have a little baby named Pinky Flower.  She's got her future all mapped out apparently!

Jingle Bells

(2014) Fellow moms out there will know that, every now and then, those "teachable moments" crop up when we can impart some sort of "life lesson" or "wisdom of the ages" to our children.   Case in point, the other day, Dylan and I were in a store, and he had to wait outside of the ladies room for me.  I told him to stay right by the cart and keep a careful eye on my wallet and keys while I dashed in and out. When I came out of the restroom, he had done just fine and had been sitting there, diligently holding my wallet in his hands.

As I was saying, "Good job" it dawned on me that I also needed to impart one more bit of motherly advice in this moment.  So I added, "Now you know, Dylan, if someone had come by and tried to take that wallet from you, I would want you to just give it to the guy so you would be safe.  I'd rather you be safe than worry about my wallet.  Anything in the wallet can be replaced, but you are irreplaceable."

Looking confused, Dylan responded, "So I should just GIVE the guy the wallet if he tries to steal it from me?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that my impromptu life lesson was obviously a smashing success.

"That's not what Daddy said to do,"  Dylan replied.

My heart warmed in that moment as I realized that Robert Skeet Taylor, too, had taken it upon himself to pass along some fatherly advice to Dylan about this very thing.  "Good job, Daddy," I smiled and thought to myself as I waited for Dylan to elaborate with some timeless nugget of fatherly wisdom.

"No," Dylan continued cheerfully, "Daddy said that if someone ever tried to steal something from me, I should kick the guy in the jingle bells and run like crazy."

Long silence (by me, as I am now speechless) ......  as I stare at a proud, grinning Dylan.

You know, somehow I just don't recall any such father/son wisdom between Andy and Opie or Ward Cleaver and the Beaver, or even one single "jingle bells" episode of  "Father Knows Best"...  I mean, imagine that!  Leave it to the sheer eloquence of the Taylor men of MY household.  Skeet Taylor ... REALLY?!!!  :)

The Highlife

(2013) Bran just informed me that he "has it made" tonight ... he's laying in his bed watching the MLB channel on TV, he's got ESPN showing on the IPad, and he has a glass of sweet tea. He's living the 15 year old boy version of "the highlife" apparently!!

Summer

You know it’s summer when your Walmart cart contains Scrabble, bubbles, water balloons, popsicles, and Cheese Puffs! 😂😂😂