Grown Man

(2010) Was stopped at the grocery store tonight by a GROWN MAN WITH TWO CHILDREN who said, "Mrs. Taylor!  Do you remember me?  You were my 5th grade teacher!"  AAAHHHHH!!!  I obviously was five years old when I was his teacher!!!!

No-No

(2013) I am laughing sooo hard!  There is a commercial on for that hair removal product called the  "No No" and Lily said in all seriousness, "Daddy needs that." She can never understand why the guys have hair on their chests and legs and refers to it as their "fur."  Guess the "No No" would take care of their unfortunate "fur" problems!!! I cannot stop laughing!!

College Boy

(2016) There is one very happy 18 year old college student in Franklin Springs, GA tonight.  I got a call around 9 PM from Bran ..."Mom, we just finished baseball practice and I am starving, but the school cafeteria is closed, no one delivers here, and I have no money."  About 10 minutes later after making a phone call, I sent him a text ... "Go to the Pizza Hut at Franklin Springs Circle.  There is a large pizza and a 2 liter drink waiting for you in your name. It's paid for. Love you, Mom". Took him a half second to text back, "ON MY WAY!!!"  He may be 18, but it still makes this mom's heart happy to take care of her boy.  I don't get that chance too often anymore! ❤️

Skunks

(2018) Of course. I’m being eaten alive by mosquitoes sitting at quite possibly the worst football field in Gwinnett County and the two men next to me are apparently professional exterminators and keep talking about how they can smell skunks all around us in the woods. Living the dream out here ...😂😂😂

Wizard of Oz

(2013) Lily is loving Wizard of Oz!  So far, her favorite is Glenda the Good Witch (the big sparkly dress and wand gave her a big advantage), but she said she does NOT like the "chipmunks" (aka,  the Munchkins).

Bed

(2014) Lily and I were snuggling in the bed together and I said, "Doesn't your bed feel the best when it has these soft, clean sheets on it?"  She put her little arms around my neck and said, "My bed feels the best when you're in it, Mama."  Nothing better than being loved by a little girl.  :)

Research

(2010) Things you hear yourself saying to a 7th grader supposedly doing his homework at the computer .... "Since when can you research biomes on Itunes?"

Sentimental

(2014)
Feeling a bit sentimental and philosophical tonight as I have watched my  kids play with a whole basket of dress up clothes and costumes and laughing themselves silly, coloring pictures of pumpkins with the beloved 64 box of crayons, being outside throwing balls, riding bikes, playing tag, squealing, cheering when it's Macaroni and Cheese for supper ... I know we are told all the time that the kids of today are more "sophisticated" and that we need to prepare them for a whole different world from what we know .. but actually, I think children are the same as they've ever been in all the truly important ways. Yes, the world will be different for them in many ways, but the REAL things in life ... love and family and faith and kindness ... the truly important things of the heart, will always be the same. As for tonight, I'm smiling as I watch my own children tossing away the imposed cares of the grown up world for as long as they can and simply enjoying the carefree days of childhood.

Young

So the lady doing my nails at the Nail Shop says to me, "You have beautiful skin! Don't need makeup!" While I'm still basking in the glow of this generous compliment, she adds, "I bet you very pretty when you were young."  Ummmm ... thanks????  I am desperately hoping something was lost in the translation!! 😂😂😂

Food Pyramid

(2013) I think I need to have a chat with Lily about the food pyramid ... here is the grocery list she made for me today!!  I'm thinking we better get some apples and yogurt instead ... ok, and maybe the brownies!  :)
1.  Puffy Things (aka, Cheese Puffs)
2.  Brownies
3.  Fruit Roll Ups
4.  Cheese Pringles
5.  Cupcakes
6.  Cake
7.  Doughnuts

Hair

(2014) Lily got to choose an item from the dollar store for filling her "teeth brushing" chart for two weeks, so she chose this GORGEOUS fake long hair!  She said, "EVERYONE, except God, will think it's REAL!"

Elliptical

Robert Skeet Taylor, what do you MEAN you think maybe we could get rid of my elliptical machine?!! WHY would you think I’m not using it that much??!! 😂😂😂😂 How DARE you!!!!

Crate

I love that after 28 years of being married to an elementary school teacher, my husband doesn’t even bat an eye at my school crate ... no matter what it looks like for the next day!!

Played

(2018) Laughing out loud! Bran just sent me a picture from his dorm showing me that he had MADE his bed (if you know BT, you know this has NEVER happened before in his lifetime). He then told me he probably deserved a little reward for doing this amazing chore so he could run up to McDonalds for a “late night snack.”  Boy, have I been played! That boy cracks me up!! (And yes, he got McDonalds). 😂😂😂😂

Win

(2016)
Bran ... Concert
Dylan ... Gwinnett County Fair
Lily ... Pool
Me... Pjs on the couch watching Mrs. Marple
I win!!! 😀

Baseball

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! said every baseball mom ever.

Whale

(2013) Social graces aren't always the strong suit of my gifted children.  Case in point, today one of my boys was telling us all about beluga whales and in his attempt to describe them to the class and me, he said, "And they are a little smaller than Mrs. Taylor."  What?!  Anything with "WHALE" in its title shouldn't be SMALLER than me!  Thanks, guys.

Book Report

(2011) Life with 11 year old boys ...We are trying to fill out Dylan's book response form for school which is entailing searching for symbolism and poetic language in The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Wish us luck!!!!

Sleeping Booty

(2010) Dylan is laughing his head off because Lily Claire is playing with her princess dolls and keeps calling Sleeping Beauty "Sleeping Booty."  Oh dear!

Slime

(2018) Lily just proudly showed me some huge blob of slime she made and then I realized she was carrying it around on top of her children's Bible!! What?!!
Me: "SLIME on your Bible, Lil? Really?!
Lily: GASP!!! Oops!!!!
Me: I'm calling Jesus right now to tell on you.
Lily: (running to get it off) Nooooooooo!!! I'm sorry, Jesus!!!!!
😂😂😂😂

Spanish

(2015) My second graders were writing today, and I saw some of the kids making capital letter mistakes, which had been a little mini lesson previously.  I said, "Uh oh!  Be careful everybody. I see some folks putting capital letters where they don't belong, and vice versa."  One of my little ones looked up in surprise and gasped,"Mrs. Taylor!  I didn't know you spoke Spanish!"

Cinderella

(2010) It's a special day for the Taylor girls ... Lily and I are watching Disney's Cinderella for the first time together and Lily is captivated!!  Every time Cinderella comes on the screen, she shouts "What her name, Mama?"

Coolness

(2011) Life with a 13 year old son:  On my way home this evening, I called Bran to remind him to get his homework and chores done.  Typically, Bran never "remembers" to do any of his chores without lots of "reminders." So I say, "Bran, don't forget to take down the trashcans from the curb before football practice."  To which he replies, totally seriously, "I already did it, Mom, because you know ... I'm just cool like that."  Uh huh ... we'll see how long this wave of "coolness" lasts!

Waiting

(2011) Saturday, I made the mistake of shopping early for Lily's Halloween costume online and she ended up picking out a sweet kitty cat costume.  HOWEVER, now she is asking me every day if I can draw whiskers on her face and put on her costume (which, of course, we don't have yet!)  She just came storming into my room huffing and said, "WHEN is Halloween?  I've been waiting and waiting!"  Oh dear.  October is going to be a loooooooooong month!

Wrong

If watching Hallmark channel and eating Little Debbies on the couch in my pajamas is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.😂😂😂

Grooming

I just got an offer from a pet website to send me a 128 page book about grooming my dog at home. What on earth?!!! All I do for Buddy is slop some dog shampoo and water on him in the tub then brush him. Buddy must be missing out on the other 127 pages of grooming! 😂😂🐾🐾

Medicine

This would be why I don’t take cold or allergy medicine before bedtime. Last night I dreamed that we had a pet lion in our backyard that had wandered in from the highway. I was concerned if the lion would get along with Buddy and the big group of gorillas we already had living in the backyard.  I also wasn’t sure if I was feeding the lion enough dog food every day and kept pouring huge mixing bowls full of it outside. We eventually let the lion into our kitchen to drink water out of a huge basin and let it lay on the floor and wander around the house roaring. Our neighbors then rented a petting zoo for one of their kid’s birthday parties and the owners asked if they could have the lion as part of their petting zoo. I agreed because I was worried the dog food for the lion was too expensive,but in the dream I was crying the whole time the lion was being put into a crate to leave with the petting zoo people. I kept telling the petting zoo people to take care of my lion and to remember that he was a boy lion named Joseph, but they wouldn’t listen to me. I kept trying to pet the lion one last time before the truck left. It was soooo bizarre and distressing! DEFINITELY going to stay away from the meds tonight before bed!!! 🦁🦁🦁

Storm

(2018) Life with Brandon Taylor ... I called him today to check in on him since his school is closed the next two days. Our conversation ...
Me: Hi Bran! Are you coming home because of the storm?
Bran: No, I'm staying here.
Me: Well do you have a plan for bad weather? A safe place you can go if the wind gets bad?
Bran: Yeah, I'm ready.
Me: Are you sure? You know the winds are supposed to be really, really strong. What is your plan? How exactly have you gotten ready?
Bran: I bought a kite ...

Yep ... that's Brandon.  😂😂😂

Old Timer

(2015) Lily just said, "Mom, remember in the old, old, old times when everyone had to wear a beard?  Well Daddy must have looked HORRIBLE!"  Sorry Robert Skeet Taylor, but I am cracking up, you old timer, you!!

Fruit Loops

(2013) Dylan was trying to entice Lily to come upstairs to play this morning.  When she wouldn't come, he made a trail of her favorite cereal, Fruit Loops, that went from the family room and up the stairs to her room for her to follow/eat her way upstairs.  It worked!!

16

Driving down some country back roads on my way to Callaway Gardens ... Windows down, sun shining, listening to some old Chicago 17 and 18 ... for a brief while I felt 16 again.

Cheese Straws

You know you’re in the South when the focal point for all spoken directions of the day starts with, “Well first take a right at the cheese straw stand...”  #yellowdaisyfestival #goodtimes

Sealed

(2012) Brandon just asked me how well Obama did in college.  I said nobody knows because his records are sealed.  Bran replied, "I wish MY school records could be sealed."  Cracked me up!!!

Tomatoes and Dogs

Last night I watched an old movie and the men kept referring to all the women as "tomatoes" and "dogs"!!! One guy even told a girl she wasn't as much of a dog as she thought she was, and apparently that was a compliment!  Then, the guy's mom, who had a gray bun, glasses,and knitted in a rocking chair the whole movie, was worried that her son would kick her out of the family home when he got married because she was so old.  She then revealed that she was 50!! What??!!!! Hahahaaaa!!!

Homework

Lily was sitting on the couch reading a history article for school about cattle drives.  Out of nowhere, Buddy leaped up and tore off a hunk of the article paper and ate it!! We are in hysterics because we just witnessed a dog ACTUALLY eating homework!!! 😂😂😂

Illegal

Dear Middle School teachers,
Please excuse my daughter if she was extremely sleepy in your classes today. Apparently she stayed up half the night writing an impassioned essay entitled “Why School Should Be Illegal.” 😂😂😂 (true story, folks)

Rainbow

(2010) A scary glimpse into the minds of seven year old boys: At the drugstore, I let Dylan pick out some candy.  He picked out this HUGE multicolored lollipop, of course.  He said, "Mom, I bet I'll be the first person EVER to be able to eat all this at once."  I replied,"If you do, you'll get sick."  He thought a moment and replied cheerfully, "Well, if I throw up, at least it will be rainbow!"   UG!!

Bob the Blob

So what does one do when a student spills red juice on your classroom floor that won't come off, no matter how much the custodian tried?  You turn it into "Bob the Blob," our new beloved classroom friend!  Hahahahaa!  Like we say in my classroom, "I'm not weird, I'm gifted!" (Ok, maybe I'm a little weird, too! Hahahaaaa!)

BEEP

(2012) Failed parenting lesson of the evening ...
I walk in the office and Dylan is sitting at the computer listening to some rap song from pro wrestling.  It doesn't sound very "appropriate" so I come over to disapprove and decide to use the moment to teach a sobering life lesson (or so I think).
Me:  Dylan, would you feel ok about listening to that song if God was sitting right next to you?
Dylan: (dead serious)  Yeah   I think God would be okay with this version, Mom, because whenever they say a cuss word in the song it says "BEEP" instead!
Me: Ummm, ok ... no.  You and God aren't going to listen to this song anymore.
I sure hope God has a very good sense of humor!!!!!

Gray Flannel

I was getting Skeet a new bottle of his cologne that I like called Gray Flannel and this was seriously what it said on the product description ... "Launched by the design house of Geoffrey Beene in 1976, Grey Flannel for Men is recommended for romantic use."  Hahahahaaa!!!  I'll be sure Skeet reads those directions ... I'll be expecting a romantic dinner for two and some roses once he sprays some on!!

Lip

I hate when I go to get my eyebrows done, as I did today, and the lady asks, "Your lip? your lip?" meaning, do I want my upper lip waxed. I always say "no thank you" and then the lady shakes her head and looks at me with shock and despair like she's looking at some huge, shaggy mustache on my face!  It makes me so paranoid!!!  Here's how I think I look and then how the waxing lady makes me THINK I look leaving the shop!!!!

Nick Sabin

(2012) This is why Bran hates to have sports conversations with me ...

Bran:  Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if I went Alabama to play for Nick Sabin?
Me:  That would be cool, but I hope that guy would have GRADUATED by the time you get there to start playing football!  That'd be sort of sad if he was still in college that long!
Bran:  Mom ... Nick Sabin is the COACH.
Me: Oh.

Sweet Talk

(2013) Note to self ... do NOT take a 15 year old boy to the grocery store with you!  I was running in to pick up one or two things and came out with a TON of stuff that I got sweet-talked into buying ... a case of Mug rootbeer, Chex mix, Pringles, Fruit Loops with marshmallows, a family sized bag of Chips Ahoy, chocolate chip PopTarts ... a hoard of neverending snacks for the bottomless pit named Brandon Taylor!

Crisis

(2013) I had to get creative tonight ... Lily couldn't find any of her Barbie's shoes and her Barbie "HAD to go on a walk and was going to get splinters in her toes" (according to Lily).  It was a full blown Barbie crisis!  Anyway, after a little aluminum foil, Barbie now has some awesome silver boots!  Fashion emergency SOLVED.

Brown

I hate when I'm trying to buy makeup online and they try and use real creative names for the colors  ... I just need some BROWN eyeliner, but the choices I have are "Dance Fever", "Ice Pixie" or "Brazen Rain".  Can I just find BROWN, please?! Which of these is BROWN??!!

Megatron

Adding to the roasting heat and biting bugs at the football field is a New York lady sitting right next to me angrily SCREAMING in my ear after every play.  Really??!! Apparently her son’s name or nickname is “Megatron.” I know because it’s ringing in my ears.  She keeps YELLING “Watch the ball” but it sounds like “Watch the bull” which is annoying me even more.  I must have been mistaken that this is 10U rec football ... it’s apparently the Super Bowl. I’m about to commit a second felony at the ball-field already this season, but this time NOT involving snow cones.

Accidentally

So Bran calls and informs me that he accidentally backed his truck into a car tonight. What kind of car? A Jaguar, of course. What are the odds of this in Royston, Georgia?! You can’t make this stuff up.