True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
We The People
Something hilarious happened tonight when we were at Mah Jong Chinese restaurant. At the end of the meal my father-in-law made a joke with the young waiter about there being a shortage of turkeys this Thanksgiving because they were all running for president. 😂 The young waiter laughed and said that he didn’t want a turkey to be president because the president rules over all of us. Of course, I HAD to chime in saying he needed a small lesson in US government, because “we the people” run the government, no one “rules over us” here in America! We are a DEMOCRACY (democratic republic) and the PEOPLE have the final say! I literally almost broke out singing The Preamble song from Schoolhouse Rock, I was so inspired!😂😂😂 Of course, Lily was dying during the whole minilesson and when we left the restaurant and stepped one foot out the door she said, “And THAT is why you don’t take a social studies teacher to a Chinese restaurant!!!!” We both then completely cracked up!!!! #teacherkidproblems #can’ttakemomanywhere 😂😂😂
Sunday, November 24, 2019
Christmas Movies
I just feel the need to say that I hate any Christmas movie that (A) has the same day repeating itself over and over again until the character learns some lesson and changes his ways, (B) stars Meredith Baxter Bernie, or (C) involves any type of storyline where someone is sick or dying and the whole town rallies to give them one last tear-jerking holiday. All I want is complete, total, 100% predictable, happy fluff for the holidays! NO REALITY, PLEASE! I know I can always count on you, Hallmark Channel.
Memory
(2012) Made a priceless memory today when I went over to help Mom decorate the tables for Thanksgiving ... Lily Claire and Grammie were two peas in a pod mixing and stirring and baking together in the kitchen. Grammie had lots and lots of "help"! I think Lily licked more of the frosting than she put on the cake and I don't think Grammie stopped laughing! It was so much fun watching the two of them together! Today and EVERY day, I am so thankful for our "Grammie and Papaw."
Sleeve
(2016) Nothing like having your 17 year old son wake you up on vacation to show you all his plans and ideas for the "sleeve tattoo" he is NOT getting. I told him he could choose food or a tattoo. :) Every day is an adventure around here.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Torture
(2016) Hahahahahaaa! It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV. I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise." For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel! With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of Mr. Miyagi advice. Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... :) I'm STILL laughing!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Hot Rod
(2017) This memory made me laugh out loud ... Brandon Taylor
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)! That was proven yet again this weekend! Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed. I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags! And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator! Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?! Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning! And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom! Can I please get my car back now? Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)! That was proven yet again this weekend! Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed. I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags! And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator! Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?! Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning! And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom! Can I please get my car back now? Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!
Hero
How to be a hero in two easy steps...
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂
Sunday, November 10, 2019
Alternate Universe
(2014) I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning! I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive. If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc. Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead. When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me! Scared me to DEATH! I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!! Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?! :)
Clear
The lady next me at the Nail Shop is showing impressive restraint! We are both getting a pedicure and while my person is slathering “Ultra Neon Pink Bubblegum Pop Fantasmic” polish on MY toes, the lady next to me just ordered “clear, because it’s winter.” I can guarantee I will NEVER EVER pick clear, even when I’m dead! Life is too short for clear, folks. 😂😂😂
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Ronald
I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning! I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive. If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc. Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead. When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me! Scared me to DEATH! I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!! Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!
Ballot
A funny memory from a prior voting day...
Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS! He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices! He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one! I'll probably win!!!! 🙂
Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS! He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices! He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one! I'll probably win!!!! 🙂
Tuesday, November 5, 2019
Fifty Shades
So glad I FINALLY got to color my hair today before it got the starring role in 50 Shades of Blond, Orange, Gold, and Gray!!! 😂😂
Monday, November 4, 2019
Awkward
(2011) It's official ... Skeet has been out of town WAY too much the past few months. How do I know this? Because tonight a very scraggly pizza delivery man with a white stubble beard and no teeth came to the door, and Lily ran down the hall towards him screaming "Daddy". Nice awkward moment for Mommy, to say the least!
Mommy Days
(2011) Lily Claire has started calling the weekends "Mommy Day" since we get to hang out together without going to school! I love it! Looking forward to several fun "Mommy Days" with my girl this weekend!
Grammie
(2012) Had Mom and Dad over tonight for BBQ sandwiches and to watch football/The Good Witch movie from Hallmark! I had even MORE fun watching Lily Claire and Grammie play ... they read Berenstain Bear books, wrote a LONG Christmas list to Santa, played princess and fairy dolls, played an Alphabet game... Lily Claire was in heaven! She was so sad to see them go home ... but she gave Grammie an apple to take home as a present.
CrossFit
(2013) Driving Bran up to CrossFit tonight ... I'm going to sit in the car and eat a cookie while I wait for him. Hahahahahaaa!!!!
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