Elvis

(2015)  OH NO!!!!  Major unfortunate event for today... I was coloring my hair (NOT that I need to cover some gray or anything) and AFTER the 30 minute wait and rinse, I realized I had picked up DARK BROWN at the store instead of DARK BLOND!!!  My hair is now darker than my sisters and I am in shock.  I wondered why it looked black when I got out of the shower!!! Robert Skeet Taylor, please brace yourself when you get home!!!  I am going to have to go get a highlighting kit PRONTO at some remote shopping area where I won't be noticed, except maybe by an Elvis talent scout!  Good lord.

Jerky

 (2018) Brandon Taylor... this still makes me laugh!!! 😂😂😂

(2016) Brandon made me laugh out loud today at Walmart!  He was begging me to buy him some $6 bag of Beef Jerky and I happened to spot a $1 bag of "Great Value" brand Beef Jerky instead. (FYI, I almost ALWAYS buy store brands.)  "Mom!" he groaned with disdain, "That is probably made from giraffe meat."  .... We bought the $6 bag to be safe.  Hahahahahaha!!!!!

Grandma

 (2020) Funny memory ... 😂😂😲😲

We were at Chili’s tonight and the young waitress looked at Skeet and said, “Here’s your ribs, sir.” Then she looked at Lily and said, “And here’s your chicken pasta.” Then she put my plate in front of me and sweetly said, “And here’s fajitas for grandma.”  What?! Seriously? #thisreallyhappened #NOtip  😧😂

Barter

(2019) I am cracking up at the brother-sister barter system going on in the Taylor house! Dylan just offered Lily $3 to make him 4 grilled cheese sandwiches. Lily raised it to $4 and a deal was struck! (The only thing Lily failed to tell Dylan was that Buddy accidentally licked all his sandwiches before she delivered them… She was afraid he wouldn’t pay the full price if he knew!) 😂😂😂

Teeth

 (2015) My Lily makes me laugh so much!!  She was mad when she realized she couldn't learn to whistle without her two front teeth, so the next thing I know, she had made some front teeth out of paper and taped them on!! I love this funny little girl!

Yes to the Dreas

 (2013) WE SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!!!! ... at Toys R Us, that is! Lily spent her birthday gift card on this Cinderella princess bride gown! (Note the pink and yellow PJs underneath this super elegant gown!)  When we put the veil on, Lily said "I LOOOOVE this bride hair!"

Blonde

(2013) Lily had us so confused today, and it was hilarious!  She kept mumbling things and when someone couldn't hear her, she'd say, "Oh no.  You're blonde."  What?!  Finally I asked her what that meant and she said, "Being blonde means you can't see!"  Hmmm .. that's "blind" and you meant "deaf," Lil.  Comedy of errors!

Inspirational

 (2017) Funniest texts of the day between Brandon and me! He's loving working for a remodeler/landscaper this summer, but today's job was SUPER tough. He had to remove a large privacy fence with a crowbar and his hands! Then he had to try and dig the cemented posts out of the ground! He was dead tired when he sent me this text. My attempt to be motivational didn't quite have the inspirational effect I had hoped!! 😂😂😂 I am still laughing!! 

Headache

 (2012) Dylan accidentally knocked into Lily this morning and Lily bumped into the kitchen table.  With a mad look on her face, she turned to Dylan and said, "Dylan! Now I have a headache in my back!"

Fake News

 Robert Skeet Taylor and I were running errands today and we pulled into PGA Golf store. 

"Come in with me," he said. "There's LOTS of cool stuff to look at in here!"

After approximately three minutes inside the store I realized I had been a victim of fake news. 😂😂😂

Outraged

 (2020) Just went to Chick-fil-A and was OUTRAGED to find out they don’t make large sized milkshakes anymore. Just small. This seems unAmerican. 😂😂😂 I mean, Lord knows I don’t NEED a large … but still. 😂😂😂

Date

(2016) Bran has a movie date tonight with a very sweet girl from school. A glimpse into a mother/teenage son conversation in the car today ...

Me: What time is the movie?

Bran: Seven. Can we pick her up in my truck? 

Me:  Sure. Do you have money?

Bran: A little but did you know it's SIXTEEN DOLLARS for popcorn and stuff??!!!!

Me: I'll buy the tickets so you can buy her some popcorn     ...

Me again: and be sure and take a shower before you go ...

Me again: ... AND put on deodorant ..

Me again: ... and fix your hair so it won't look weird from your baseball hat ...

Bran: (giving me bad looks more frequently now)

Me again: and don't wear a tank top ...

Bran: (wishing he could jump out of the moving vehicle he's stuck in with me)  ...

Me again: and ..

Bran:  (with great disdain and eye rolling) MOM!! Ok!!!!! I'm good!!!! Duh!!  I'm not going to wear a TANK TOP!!!!!!!

Me:  I just had to check to make sure that wasn't in your realm of possibility. 

Bran: Defeated sigh. 

The moral of this tale:  All women of the free world should forever be grateful to the mothers of malekind that they have money to pay for popcorn, they do not stink or have smashed up hat hair, and they do NOT show up in raggedy Bob Marley tank tops on said dates. You are welcome.

Purist

Skeet and I got frozen yogurt tonight at a place that had over 40 toppings ... and Skeet got none!  Just plain chocolate yogurt. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!! I had mini M&Ms, kit kat pieces, rainbow sprinkles, mini Reese's, Oreo bits, Heath bar crumbles, AND a blue gummi bear on MY yogurt!!!  Skeet calls himself a "purist" ... I call him WEIRD!!

Summertime

 (2012) I can tell it's summertime when my Walmart bill includes bubbles, suncatchers, fingerpaint, Captain Crunch, and Hi Ho Cherry-O!