(2014)
Love these! Lily was 6. ❤️❤️❤️
Conversations with Lily are always interesting! A few snippets from today as we were running errands ...
"Does Jesus drink Coke?
Then inside a store, "I'll push the cart Mama, since you're a little bit old."
"I wish God was a girl .. that'd be better."
And, after we saw a funeral procession with a white hearse with flashing lights, "OH MY GOSH!!! A PRINCESS IS IN TOWN!!"
(2023) I was letting Lily practice her driving today and she went what I thought was particularly fast around a curve. I said, “Whoa, slow down! This isn’t NASCAR!”
To which she replied, “NASCAR, Mom?
I’m going 11 miles an hour.
In a minivan. “
Point taken. We both cracked up! 😂😂😂
One of my favorite memories of the boys is perfect for Mother's Day: one day when the boys were younger, they were arguing and bickering. Dylan kept telling Brandon what to do. They came stomping up the stairs with Bran shouting, "DYLAN, STOP telling me how to live my life!! NO ONE can tell you how to live your life!!!" Then there was a pause and Brandon added, "Except Mom, she tells everyone how to live their life.” Glad he learned that early!!! 😂😂😂
(2016) You might teach third graders if ...You can’t find the Scotch tape on your desk and two of your little girls pipe up and say, “Oh we have it, Mrs. Taylor. We were just using it to wax our eyebrows!” Really?! 😂😂😂 #neveradullmoment
(2014) Life with Dylan 101.
He was assigned a project in his Social Studies class to learn about China. His task was to bring in a Chinese artifact of some sort and explain about it to the class.
Me: "How did your Social Studies sharing go today? What did you take in for your Chinese artifact?"
Dylan: (whipping out a John Cena wrestling action figure). "This."
Me: (dumbfounded) What? Why?!! John Cena has NOTHING to do with China!!
Dylan (emphatically): "Yes he does, Mom! It says right here on his foot, 'Made In China'!"
Great. Can't wait to see the stellar grade we get on that one.
(2011) Life with Dylan: This morning we were talking about Easter and I said, "Jesus died for us then rose from the grave three days later!" Dylan: "Cool! So Jesus is a skeleton now?" Sigh. "No Dyl, Jesus is not a skeleton!"
(2012) I gave Lily a new Berenstain Bears book this morning and she gasped real big and said, "Wow! This is my most favoritest book I never seen!"
Nehi Peach and boiled peanuts. Takes me back to our dating days when Skeet and I stopped along the roadside in the mountains to buy boiled peanuts. He told me I was the only girl he’d ever met who liked boiled peanuts, and I told him he obviously hadn’t been meeting the right girls! Pretty sure those boiled peanuts are how this Georgia girl captured the heart of one very handsome Georgia boy.
(2016) Helping Bran with a paper for his British Lit class tonight that is about how the Victorian ideals of the time were portrayed in Dickens' Oliver Twist and how he used the novel to attack the Poor Laws of the time, etc. I am all enthused and loving every second of it and remembering how much I LOVE everything about this time period and topic. Meanwhile, Bran is miserable writing this paper and says to me,"Seriously ... This is completely useless and and no normal person cares about a bunch of poems that make no sense and all these long, confusing stories ....What kind of weird person would go to college and get a whole degree in this stuff!!?" Long awkward pause. "Um. That would be me, son." Nice backpedalling, Bran. Yes, he is definitely his father's son.
(2011) Whenever Lily Claire has been outside playing and she looks a mess, I tell her she looks like a little "rag-a-muffin." Today she had a checkup at the doctor and I told her we needed to brush her hair, to which she replie, "Why? Am I a "mag -a -ruffin?"
(2013) Dylan came home all dirty and sweaty from his batting practice then played outside until dark. When he came in, Lily took one step toward him and said sternly, "Dylan, you better go get a bath or your friends will think you're a skunk." No one loves you like your siblings!!!
(2013) One of the hallmarks of being a Southern mother .... reminding your kids of every rule of good manners ever known to man while taking them to any event away from home ... a birthday party, a sleepover, whatever. The poor kid is trapped in the back seat of the car all the way to their friend's house while you repeat the same age-old list ... "Don't ask for a bunch of food, wait until it's offered ... don't grunt when an adult speaks to you, say Yes M'am and No M'am ... be SURE and say thank you and please ... don't run in their house and wipe your feet on the mat when you go in ... don't act like a buffoon or you'll never be invited again ..." The kid just nods automatically at every rule you throw out there, like one of Pavlov's dogs hearing a bell for the millionth time. By the time you pull into the driveway, they can't get out of the car fast enough and the only thing they are thinking is that they sure wish DAD had given them a ride instead of Mom!!!
(2010) Skeet bought Dylan a big bag of mini-marshmallows and now he's the new George Washington Carver of marshmallows! So far he's had peanut butter, jelly, and marshmallow sandwiches, marshmallow cinammon toast, marshmallow and Cocoa Puffs cereal, marshmallow milk ... you name it and Dylan has put marshamallows on it!
I had a sweet memory today. I was cleaning the master bathroom this morning, and as I was scrubbing the sink on Skeet’s side, I noticed all sorts of scratches in the sink. It reminded me that when Brandon was little I used to let him play “car wash” in that sink with his Hot Wheels. He would take all his cars outside and get them real dirty running them through the dirt and grass and then we would line them all up to go into the car wash in sink in the bathroom. He would zoom the cars all around in the bubbles and water and play for hours! Yes, I have scratches all in the marble sink, but I’m glad I do. ❤️
(2021) One of my students asked me today if I was a senior citizen!😂😂😂 Ummm ... no, but at this point I certainly feel like one, but with none of the discounts! 😂😂
(2013) Guess I was cheering too loudly for Dyl at his ballgame because Lily turned to me and said, “Sshhhh, Mom! You’re making my ears go blind!!”
Today’s Blog Highlight …
Brawl
It's a pretty sure sign that the world is in a serious downward spiral when the news headline of the day is "The Easter Bunny brawls with shoppers at a NJ mall." Seriously, what is happening to society?!! Or should I say "HOP-pening ..." Hahaaa!!'
(2016)
Those of you who know me are aware that I'm not really known for having extensive baseball knowledge (ok, none), and I've been known to erroneously scream "good cut" from time to time when Bran catches a ball in the outfield. I basically sit at the games asking Skeet "What happened?" after each play and just clap for whatever Bran does. HOWEVER, I was never fully aware of my complete and utter lack of baseball knowledge until the other evening Brandon Taylor and Robert Skeet Taylor were on either side of me rehashing a recent game. Believe me when I say that they talked for over twenty minutes saying stuff I'd never even heard of IN MY LIFE that apparently did or didn't happen in the game. Y'all, I literally had NO IDEA what they were even saying! It was like a weird, secret "baseball code" that I'd never been privy to until now!
Here's what the conversation sounded like to me ..., "The southpaw dinger brushback pickle set-up-man with the seeing-eye-single shoestring catch in the hole flashed some leather on the hot corner who had a safety squeeze on a sacrifice bunt with a slice foul sinker in the backdoor breaking ball bad hop balk for the closer in the clutch and the mop up with the BABIP ERA WHIP, don't you agree?"
Ummmm .... yes?? ....
I've now decided that instead of being ESOL, (English as a Second or Other Language), I am what you would call BSOL,.. (BASEBALL as a Second or Other Language). And after hearing all their jibberish, it will be a PERMANENT condition for me, I am quite sure. Unless maybe there is some Rosetta Stone software that could help me out. 🙂 #lifewiththeTaylormen
(2018) Today's free springtime advice .... never coat all your birdseed with "Coles Flaming Squirrell Repellant Sauce" and then hang your feeder from a very high branch on a super windy day. Though it sounds unlikely, a big piece of flaming seed WILL fall out of the feeder right into your eye. Unfortunately I am speaking from painful experience.
(2023) Hilarious story of the day! I get a text from Brandon this morning while he was getting ready for work that he just saw a cat walk down the hallway by his bedroom. This doesn’t sound like a big deal except WE DON’T HAVE A CAT! 😂😂😂 Come to find out it is my neighbors cat, Gary, and he decided just to take a nice little stroll through our house this morning!!! 😂😂😂 He must’ve gotten in when we left the door open for Buddy down by the backyard! Thankfully, Buddy did not see Gary strolling around the house, and our neighbor came and lured him out with a can of cat food! 😂😂😂 Never a dull moment! 🐈🐈⬛
(2014) I have TOTALLY failed as a Southern mother.
I was helping Bran study last night for an American Lit test about "Realism" and "Naturalism" (one of my least favorite periods of literature). At any rate, part of the study guide was about "regionalism" and "regional dialect" and "local color." I was explaining these concepts to Bran and said, "For example, Margaret Mitchell put Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on a plantation in the Civil War south and had the characters act and speak based on where they lived and the time period."
Bran replied, "Who are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara?"
After a gasp of horror, I replied in utter shock and dismay, "You don't know who Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara are?"
"Oh wait ... wait, " Bran said, "Oh yeah ... they are making a movie about them, right? It's called Fifty Shades of Gray, or something? Right?"
Oh. my. lord.
"Um, no Brandon. They already MADE a move about Rhett and Scarlett called Gone With the Wind."
Bran, "Never heard of it."
WHERE did I go wrong?! I actually needed smelling salts for the vapours at this point in the conversation ... As God as my witness, I will be forcing my son to watch Gone With the WInd with his grandmother and me in the very near future, even if I must hog tie him to the couch to do it. All.four.hours.
Many of you know that Dylan is really in to WWE wrestling and this Sunday, unbeknownst to me, he brought two of his wrestler "guys" into church. During the praise songs, I look over and see this! I am STILL laughing!!! Apparently it's the WWE meets Praise and Worship! He even had their hands raised! ONLY Dylan!!!!
(2014) Bran thinks he has hit the BIG TIME being on his highschool baseball team. Why? Because he gets FREE sweet tea AND lemonade at practices and games! WHOA!!!! Who needs the major leagues with these kinds of perks?!! You gotta love 14 year old boys!
(2014) Bran wasn't sure if I could help him with his Language Arts homework last night because it was about some obscure, little known book called "To Kill A Mockingbird" ... had I ever heard of it? Ummm ... yes, Bran. I've heard of that "new" book.
(2013) Lily just told me, "Mom, you can come to my birthday party because you're my best friend." Sniff. Sniff. Love that little girl!
(2012) I walked into the kitchen this evening to find that Lily had drawn a big flower right on the refridgerator with a purple marker!!!! Thankfully I only buy washable markers! When I said, "Lily Claire, Don't draw on Mommy's refridgerator with marker!" Liily answered sincerely, "I didn't do it, Mommy ... the marker did it." Reminded me of a time Dylan drew all over my CAR with a black Sharpie pen and then told me that a bunch of ants had drawn it! Uh huh. :) Three year olds!
(2012) I have to share my "Mother of the Year" story from this week. I have been crowned once again. 🙂 I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid. We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend." The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes. I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc. I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!" Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress, "Mom! Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!? What on earth??! Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do. I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!" What a lucky kid. He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet. So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him. Yes, once again, I am Mother of the Year! What can you do but laugh?!
(2023) You know you live in Georgia when … the man in front of you at the post office is mailing a rooster in a box full of holes that says “live bird” on it! 😂😂😂🐓🐓🐓
(2014) This morning Lily woke up and told me she had the "goodest" dream EVER! She dreamed that she and a bunny and a kitten were sliding down a rainbow into a pot of gold! Such are the happy dreams of little girls!
(2017) Conversation at our house this evening ...
Lily: Guess what? We are learning about Jackie Robinson in Social Studies. He's a famous baseball player!
Dylan: We are learning about a guy named Surutha Ghandi.
Me: Surutha? I thought his name was Mahatma Ghandi ..
Dylan (dead serious): Well, that's probably his twin brother.
(And note ... gift wrapping is available!!)
(2016) Ummm ... apparently "someone" who is not me (who is also six years old and lives in this house) has been texting from my phone. It was a stretch, but the text to Santa was my first clue.
(2019) Another installment of "Jen and Skeet Are Polar Opposites" ...
We were watching a survival show tonight called "Dude You're Screwed" where these Navy Seal guys kidnap you and drop you in some impossibly hard survival situation. The guy in this episode is British and was dropped at the top of a glacier in Alaska, 200 miles from anything.
Skeet said, "That would be awesome to try."
I said, "I'd just roll up in a ball and die in the ice."
😂😂😂
(2012) Dylan and I were watching some cartoon that had a pirate in it and he said, "Mom are there really such things as pirates?" I said, "Yes, there were pirates a long time ago and today there are still some pirates that go around stealing from other people's boats." Dylan answers in complete seriousness, " Who in the WORLD would want to be a baby then grow up to be a pirate?! Lily will NOT be a pirate when she grows up!" Very true, Dyl!
(2016) Lily just informed me that she knows what God looks like. Apparently, He's "big and sunny."
2015) I am the WORST basketball mom EVER. I hate EVERYTHING about it. The uniforms are ugly, the balls thud and echo nonstop, the middle school gym stinks like old sweat socks, we are sitting on the dirty gym floor, balls keep hitting us from all the kids playing around on the sidelines, the buzzer blares in my ears and startles me every single time, the constant ref whistles are shrill and nerve racking, babies are crying, the super enthused mom sitting next to me is screaming "Defense" in a piercing pitch a dog could hear, the coaches are bellowing "Hands Up" over and over like it's an armed robbery, and if the dad with anger issues next to me shouts,"Make it happen" or "Pass the ball" one more time, I may just lose it. Did I mention I absolutely HATE it here?? But ... I happen to love one of the players, so here I sit, smiling at Dylan like this is the best place on earth! Football and baseball I can do, but I'm pretty sure there is a level of hell called "Middle School Rec Basketball," and believe me, that's enough to keep me saved from now to eternity.
(2018) I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL. I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot! Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done. OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants! Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated! At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!! Are you kidding me?!! THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing. She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!! THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins. I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished! THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.
(2012) Today's episode of LIFE WITH BOYS: As I am cleaning up the boys' messy bathroom this evening for the hundredth time, I find a TOOTH just lying on the counter. In the midst of being creeped out by that, Dylan barges in and says, "MOM! Look at my spit beard!!!" BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!
(2023) While Lily is putting away her Christmas decorations in her room, I say: Why don’t you make a New Year’s resolution to be more organized this year in your room?
Lily: No, I already have a New Year’s resolution.
Me: (impressed)That’s great! What is it?
Lily: To find a better mascara.
😑😑😑 Really?!
Life with a 14 year old girl!!! 😂😂😂😂