True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Bible Class
Laughing so hard after talking to Bran tonight! He had to take his final in Bible class today and he didn't realize until yesterday that part of the exam was to write down all the books of the Bible in order!! He said exhausted, "Mom. I was up all night singing some song I found of all the books of the Bible and I had to sing it like 1800 times all night long to remember them!!!" The mental image of that had me rolling ... and think about his poor roommate!!! He's up for sainthood after putting up with that all night!! 😂😂😂😂
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Torture
(2014) Hahahahahaaa! It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV. I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise." For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel! With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of Mr. Miyagi advice. Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... I'm STILL laughing!!
Monday, November 13, 2017
Hot Rod
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)! That was proven yet again this weekend! Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed. I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags! And. the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator! Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?! Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning! And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom! Can I please get my car back now? Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!
There’s Always Tomorrow
(2016)
This morning, as I was driving the kids through Burger King to get them a sausage biscuit for breakfast, I succumbed to pressure and agreed to play the Rudolph TV music soundtrack in the car on the way to school. (I know ... it's not even Thanksgiving ..) Anyway, as we were waiting for our food, we got to the song where Clarice, Rudolph's love interest, was singing a very dramatic rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow." When Clarice was making her big finish, I decided to chime in on the very last few super high notes in my loudest, highest, opera voice. Of course, I was looking back at the kids who were now HOWLING with laughter because I wasn't aware that, at that very moment, the Burger King lady had opened the window to hand us our bag, just as I let out my highest, loudest opera note! Of course, she thought I was totally off my rocker (which I pretty much am at this point)! After I grabbed our bag and sped off as fast as I could, we could not stop laughing all the way to school! Now, all evening, Dylan and Lily have asked me for a repeat performance of my special rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow." That is definitely going to be one for the books!
This morning, as I was driving the kids through Burger King to get them a sausage biscuit for breakfast, I succumbed to pressure and agreed to play the Rudolph TV music soundtrack in the car on the way to school. (I know ... it's not even Thanksgiving ..) Anyway, as we were waiting for our food, we got to the song where Clarice, Rudolph's love interest, was singing a very dramatic rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow." When Clarice was making her big finish, I decided to chime in on the very last few super high notes in my loudest, highest, opera voice. Of course, I was looking back at the kids who were now HOWLING with laughter because I wasn't aware that, at that very moment, the Burger King lady had opened the window to hand us our bag, just as I let out my highest, loudest opera note! Of course, she thought I was totally off my rocker (which I pretty much am at this point)! After I grabbed our bag and sped off as fast as I could, we could not stop laughing all the way to school! Now, all evening, Dylan and Lily have asked me for a repeat performance of my special rendition of "There's Always Tomorrow." That is definitely going to be one for the books!
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Mommy
(2014) This is Lily pretending to be me, reading glasses and all! She's just about got it right ... just needs a few more dark circles under her eyes from exhaustion!
No Go
This is a bit weird ... the grinning Dad with the mustache wearing this one piece reindeer outfit would be a definite NO GO for the guys at our house! #Taylormenwouldntbecaughtdeadinreindeerhoodiepjs. 😂😂😂
Woo’d
Wow ... I came out of work today and noticed my car was parked in a different spot. When I got in I saw that Skeet had come and gotten my car while I was teaching an afterschool club and got the emissions done, an oil change, and filled it up with gas. Now THAT is how to woo a woman! :) Thanks, buddy!
Fluffy
(2013) The boys have been picking on their poor baby sister tonight ... she decided her new name is "Fluffy" but they keep "forgetting" to call her that and are calling her "Gaylord" and "Achmed" and "Red Hot Joe" and a host of other names that are making her VERY mad!!! I hate to say it, but I'm cracking up! "Fluffy", however, is NOT laughing!
Whistle
Whoever gave Dylan a basketball ref whistle that's been blowing nonstop since 7 AM better sleep with one eye open tonight ...
Friday, November 10, 2017
Just Where He Needs Me...
This past Sunday, we made our weekly lunch stop at Eagles Landing after church. We ended up sitting right beside an elderly man who was eating alone. Even as a young child, I've always had a very tender heart for the elderly and have always felt sad when I see them alone, especially at a restaurant. We sat down and right away the gentleman and I began chatting and he ended up telling us all about how he works at the hospital to cheer up patients there and how he was looking forward to any upcoming trip to New Orleans where he grew up. By his thick New Orleans accent, it was easy to tell he'd lived there a long time! He told us stories about playing hide and seek in an old three story house that his grandmother owned there when he was a child. He told us about living all around the US before retirement and about his grown children. And then, with tears in his eyes, he told us his wife had died two weeks ago and they had been married for 54 years. At that moment, I was so glad the Lord had placed us in his path on that rainy Sunday afternoon. Little did we know that God was at work as we walked through those doors and placed us right where He needed us to cheer and comfort someone we didn't even know. I was so grateful to have spent some time talking with this sweet man, and it brought to mind the words of the song ...
What can I say to cheer a world of sorrow?
How bring back hope where men have sorely failed?
Just where I am I'll speak the word of comfort,
Tell how for me Christ's sacrifice availed.
Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.
What can I do to ease life's heavy burdens?
What can I do to help mankind in need?
Just where I am I'll share my neighbor's hardship,
Lighten his load, and prove a friend indeed.
Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.
What can I say to cheer a world of sorrow?
How bring back hope where men have sorely failed?
Just where I am I'll speak the word of comfort,
Tell how for me Christ's sacrifice availed.
Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.
What can I do to ease life's heavy burdens?
What can I do to help mankind in need?
Just where I am I'll share my neighbor's hardship,
Lighten his load, and prove a friend indeed.
Just where he needs me, my Lord has placed me,
Just where he needs me, there would I be!
And since he found me, by love he's bound me
To serve him joyfully.
Monday, November 6, 2017
Ronald McDonald
I shared this with my teacher friends at school today, but I had to share the funniest thing that happened to me at school this morning! I have bus duty in the morning and have to check off the buses as they arrive. If cars pull in the bus lanes, I have to go ask them to move, which is a job I HATE because the folks are all stressed and sometimes mad, etc. Anyway, today, a blue van was blocking a whole row of buses from getting in, so I went over and tentatively knocked on the tinted windows to ask the driver to please park or go around the back of the school instead. When the window rolled down, it was this big, creepy Ronald McDonald CLOWN guy staring back at me! Scared me to DEATH! I completely did NOT expect his scary smiling face through the window!!! Come to find out, the Kindergarten was having some special Ronald McDonald program this morning. Teaching elementary school is like living in an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE on most days ... where else does this kind of stuff happen?!
Write In Vote
Skeet Taylor ... you are NUTS! He couldn't get his ballot to work today at one point when he was asked to vote for THREE folks for Water and Soil Commissioners and there were only TWO choices! He told me later that he wrote in MY NAME so he could get the machine to go on to the next one! I'll probably win!!!!
Sunday, November 5, 2017
50 Shades
So glad I FINALLY got to color my hair today before it got the starring role in 50 Shades of Blond, Orange, Gold, and Gray!!!
Saturday, November 4, 2017
CrossFit
(2014) Driving Bran up to CrossFit tonight ... I'm going to sit in the car and eat a cookie while I wait for him. Hahahahahaaa!!!!
Daddy
(2010) It's official ... Skeet has been out of town WAY too much the past few months. How do I know this? Because tonight a very scraggly pizza delivery man with a white stubble beard and no teeth came to the door, and Lily ran down the hall towards him screaming "Daddy". Nice awkward moment for Mommy, to say the least!
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Lily informed me that she will NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could ha...
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Having a mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper", eating "Whales" instead ...