Fatal Mistake

(2017) Dyl's sweet little girlfriend is coming with us to our family Super Bowl party, and Dyl just got his first dose of Southern Mama crazy!  We pulled in to her driveway, and Dyl made the fatal mistake of saying, "Mom, can I have your phone to text her that I'm here?" Long, looooong pause of sheer disbelief.... WHAT?????!!!!!!! I needed my smelling salts as I was completely overcome by the vapors at this point. I was able to wheeze out, "YOU. NEVER. EVER. EVER. TEXT. OR. HONK. TO. PICK. UP.  A. GIRL!! YOU GO TO THE DOOR!!"
Dylan looked completely baffled and said "Mom, why?"
"Because you are a GENTLEMAN and, more importantly, BECAUSE I SAID SO!"  Needless to say, Dylan went to the door ... bless his heart. 😂😂😂 Score one for Southern mothers everywhere.

Quiet Time

(2013) This evening I kept nicely telling Lily that I needed some "quiet time" (since she talks to me nonstop 24 hours a day)!  After about five minutes of quiet, she informed me that now SHE needed some "loud time."  Sigh.

Santa

(2014) Ummm ... apparently "someone" who is not me (who is also six years old and lives in this house) has been texting from my phone. It was a stretch, but the text to Santa was my first clue.

Birthday Party

(2011) Well, Lily is indeed her mother's daughter: she knows what she wants ... but then changes her mind!  She now does NOT want a Belle birthday party beause she doesn't want Beast to have any part of the party, and he's on all the party goods, etc! Sooooo... we have now moved on to a My Little Pony birthday theme to be sure that Beast will not attend. Sorry, Beast, I tried!!

Breakfast in Bed

(2013) When I woke up this morning, I saw on my nighstand that Dylan and Lily Claire had served me a fantastic breakfast in bed!  Just because all the food was either wood or plastic from Lily's pink kitchen in her room was quite alright!

Text

(2014)

I can't stop laughing at this autocorrect snafu in this text conversation between Bran and me when he ran in Kroger a minute tonight!!!!

Super Bowl

(205) Yes, Lily Claire is my daughter!  This afternoon she said, "I feel sorry for Papaw because it's raining on his birthday." I answered, "Well at least it's the Super Bowl so he'll like that!"  To which Lily responded, "What is the Super Bowl?"  Oops.  Hahaaaaa!!

Hero

(2013) This evening, Dylan had to interview a hero/special person in his life for a school writing project ... I love that he called his Dad.

Pretty Words

(2013) Oh dear.  Lily Claire came skipping up to me in her PJs all ready for bed and proudly told me that she had already said her goodnight prayers by herself.  She said, "And, Mama, I only used pretty words when I talked to God like flowers and butterflies, not ugly words like shut- up or booty."  All I could manage to say was, "Well, I'm sure God appreciated that, Lil."

Wealth Management

Dear Wells Fargo,
Thank you for your diligence in having my back with your daily "wealth management" email alerts. Considering that ..
1.  I'm a teacher
2.  I have a son in college
3.  It's basketball AND baseball season
4.  Christmas was last month,
5.  and we got paid six weeks ago ...
my current "wealth management" today was a staggering $3.15.  Is it time to roll over or diversify?  Kudos for keeping my amassed wealth protected and managed! Trying really hard not to spend all my wealth in one place before pay day!  Hahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Survival

Skeet and I are watching a survival show called "Dude You're Screwed" where these Navy Seal guys kidnap you and drop you in some impossibly hard survival situation.  The guy in this episode is British and was dropped at the top of a glacier in Alaska, 200 miles from anything.  Skeet said, "That would be fun to try."  I said, "I'd just roll up in a ball and die in the ice."

Soap

I got Mom and Dad an automatic soap dispenser for their kitchen sink that squirts out soap when you pass your hand underneath it. I have been laughing so hard at their tales of trying to get used to it and remember it's there! Mom forgot it was there and reached her hand over to get her coffee cup from the Keurig and ended up with a big blob of soap on the top of her hand!  Then Dad had two sausage biscuits on plates that he took out of the microwave and when they sat down to eat, his plate had a huge blob of soap on the plate right beside his biscuit!  He didn't realize he had gotten the plates too close to the dispenser!!  I could not stop laughing!!  Well, at least they are guaranteed to be sparkling clean at all times!  Hahahaaaa!!

Pirate

(2013) Dylan and I were watching some cartoon that had a pirate in it and he said, "Mom are there really such things as pirates?"  I said, "Yes, there were pirates a long time ago and today there are still some pirates that go around stealing from other people's boats."  Dylan answers in complete seriousness, " Who in the WORLD would want to be a baby then grow up to be a pirate?!  Lily will NOT be a pirate when she grows up!"  Very true, Dyl!

Claires

Conversation when Lily and I got home this afternoon from our excursions ...
Skeet: Hey Lil!  Where did y'all go?
Lily:  To Claire's!
Skeet:  What did you get to eat there?
...Really? Step your game up, Daddy!!  Seriously!!

God

Lily just informed me that she knows what God looks like. Apparently, He's "big and sunny." 😄