Snow Cones

I have come to the realization that without air conditioning, I would be a mean, lonely hermit with NO friends or maybe even be in JAIL.  I get SO grouchy and irritable when I'm SUPER hot!  Case in point, after Lily's cheer photos last week on a SCORCHING HOT turf football field in the dead middle of the hottest afternoon in August (and I was stupidly wearing sweat pants), Lily asked if she could have a snow cone when we were done.  OF COURSE, the snow cone truck was parked RIGHT in the sun and I was already super grouchy from sweating to death in the 100 degree afternoon sun in sweatpants!  Sweat was actually dripping down my nose, which made me SUPER grumpy and irritated!  At any rate, I begrudgingly got in the line (no shade, mind you) for a small, Coke flavored snow cone, and the lady in front me proceeds to order SIX LARGE SNOW CONES!!!  Are you kidding me?!!  THEN, she asked the guy to name ALL the sugar free flavors first before choosing.  She then sends her daughter to inquire about what flavors all the siblings want, which fluctuated about ten times from Pina Colado to Blue Raspberry! After an eternity in the boiling sun waiting for her snow cone buffet to be ready, she looks at the snow cones the man is setting on the counter for her and says she needs MORE flavor on ALL of them!!!!  THEN, she takes sample bites of each one and starts to walk away, but NOT before coming back to the window to ask for extra napkins.  I literally almost committed a snow cone FELONY at the window before that lady was finished!  THANKFULLY we got into our air conditioned car to leave and narrowly escaped my hot, angry descent into a life of crime.

Heaven

(2011) I overheard Brandon and Dylan talking in their room after I had put them to bed last night ... Dylan leaned over the bunk bed and enthusiastically said, "Brandon, Heaven is going to be AWESOME!  There are going to be talking dogs and you get to play video games with Jesus!"  He then paused and thought a moment before saying, "I sure hope He knows how to play."

Hot Dogs

(2010) While having our gourmet dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese tonight, Lily informed us all that they weren't "hot dogs", they were "warm dogs."

Mars and Venus

Hilarious exchange between Grammie and Brandon tonight ...  I call it Brandon is from Mars, Grammie is from Venus ....

Brandon:  I put a Browning sticker on the back of my new truck.
Grammie:  A brownie sticker?
Brandon:  No, BROWNING.
Grammie:  What is Browning?
Brandon:  It's like a hunting and gun brand at Bass Pro Shop.
Grammie:  (Frowning with disapproval)
Brandon:  I also put one of these stickers on it (pointing to his shirt)
Grammie:  What is that?  A bomb?!
Brandon:  Um, no ... it's the Oakley logo.
Grammie:  Oakley?!  I've never heard of that!  What do they make?!!!  Bullets?  Knives?!!
Brandon:  Sunglasses.

Fan

I am cracking up ... I "liked" a page that said "Like if you are a Jason Aldean fan."  Well now I'm a "fan" of some page called "I Love Southern Boys" and there hasn't been ONE post about Jason Aldean, but there's been about 100 posts of photos of muscle-y cowboys with no shirts on!  Not exactly what I thought I was signing up for!!!!!!  I kept scrolling down my page wondering, "WHO is sending me all these cowboy pictures?!!!" 😂😂😂

Kitty

(2014) Lily sang along PERFECTLY with every single country song that came on in the car today as we were running errands ... Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan ... the only problem was that instead of the lyrics to the songs, she would sing "meow" to EVERY SINGLE WORD!  It was her day to be a "kitty" and I thought I would lose my mind on what became the longest car ride in history!

Melted

We took Bran to a Japanese restaurant last weekend and it reminded me of a hilarious story. When Dyl was about four, he was terrified of the big fire at the hibachi grill at our local Japanese restaurant. While the cook was preparing the grill, Dylan was happily playing with this super cheap, large plastic tiger we’d gotten at the Dollar Store. When the big fire ensued, Dyl was cringing and obviously really frightened so the cook guy was trying to reassure him and make him feel better.  To be funny, he took Dylan’s tiger and waved it through the flames saying that the fire was not scary and wouldn’t hurt him. We were all laughing and smiling during this display UNTIL he handed the big plastic tiger back to Dyl and the whole face had melted off in the flames!!! You should have seen the look on Dylan’s face!! 😂😂😂 I still laugh out LOUD remembering how shocked we all were, including the chef guy,  at the melted tiger blob he pulled from the flames! We bring it up EVERY TIME we eat Japanese food, and crack up every time!!!

Robber

(2011) We were reading a "Dear God" book tonight before we went to bed about having a bad temper.  After the book, Dylan pondered very seriously, "Mom, God even loves robbers, though He's kind of depressed about them."  VERY true, but cracked me up!

Baa Baa Blacksheep

(2011) Lily Claire's version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep":  "Brandon black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full.  One for the magic, one for the dang, one for the yellow boy who lives down the lane."

Badge

(2014) I was excitedly telling Lily tonight that she is going to join Sunbeams in  the fall.  It's a program similar to Girl Scouts that we have at our church.  I was a Sunbeam as a little girl, so I was explaining that she could earn lots of badges for things like art and camping and gardening, etc.  She thought a minute and replied in all seriousness, "I hope there is a badge for unicorn spotting."  Hmmmm ... don't recall that one  ... but it would make a cool looking badge!  :)

Stressed

Why am I always 100% stressed about the boys finishing their summer reading and they are 0% stressed?!!!  I am getting the feeling that Dylan isn't being too meticulous with reading his chapters of "Who Was Neil Armstrong?" since he just informed me that Neil had two brothers named Wilbur and Orville.  Sheesh.

Aim

Observation about the male species .... They spend their lives perfecting aiming a ball through a six foot high net, or aiming a teeny tiny white ball into a cup sized hole onto a green hundreds of feet away, or nailing a ball right into a hand- sized glove way,way,way out from centerfield.  The Taylor males succeed at ALL of these almost 100% of the time.  So my question is, how is it that these skilled males have NO AIM IN THE BATHROOM???  As I clean the bathrooms yet again this week, I ask you,  WHERE is the expert aim and skill, guys????  Step up your game, boys ... PLEASE!!

Go Figure

Just can't understand why Robert Skeet Taylor doesn't seem interested in looking at pics of a bunch of cute stuff I saw at Hobby Lobby while the Braves game is on ... oh well, his loss! 😂😂😂

Whiskey

(2015) Oh dear. I may need to cut down on the country music songs in the car since Lily just informed us that at Longhorn tonight she was going to order "whisky."  We couldn't stop laughing, and she had no idea what it was!!!

Sweetest Thing

(2013) I had the sweetest thing happen this afternoon as I was leaving school!  The maintenance guys from the county office were on our hallway ALL day trying to fix problems with our air conditioners, and mine was having a LOT of issues, so there were three or four of them in my room all afternoon.  Very polite and helpful crew.  Anyway, when I was gathering up my stuff to leave, one of the workers in about his mid-20s who had been in my room almost all afternoon said to me, "M'am, I would have loved to be in your class when I was a kid.  Your room is so animated and welcoming.  I sure would have loved it here."  Those kinds words from such  a totally unexpected source completely MADE my day.