Mother Of The Year

 (2015) Just when I think I am doing SO well keeping up with all three of my children and their lives, this happens ...

I call the orthodontist today to make Bran's next four or five appointments.  He takes himself each time and we just pay the bill every month.  I am chatting with the ortho lady and after we make the appointments I ask, "So when will Brandon be getting his bottom braces put on?"  

"I'm not sure," she replies, "Hold a moment and I will check for you."

She gets back on the phone after a moment and says, "M'am ... it says here that he actually got them put on already ......... last July."

Me, "(SILENT, BIG AWKWARD PAUSE)."

Wow.  Mother of the Year right here, folks.  Really on top of things!  Apparently I don't see my 16 year old's bottom teeth as often as I thought. I seriously have NO recall of that ever happening!!!  Good grief. :)

Ragamuffin

 (2016) Lily Claire lives life to the fullest, and at the end of every day she is covered with dirt and food and markers ... you name it!  The other evening we were heading home from a ballgame and I looked at her in the backseat, her hair and clothes and face a complete mess, and said, "Lily, you look like a ragamuffin!"  She said, "I like the "muffin" part, but not the "ragga."  Cracked me up!!!

Compliments

 So all my friends out there know that I am married to a WONDERFUL guy and I love him very much! Robert Skeet Taylor  HOWEVER, he has always been NOTORIOUS for some of things he says to me that he THINKS are compliments!  When we were dating, he told me he was glad I wasn't a beauty queen. (Still not sure how THAT was a compliment but it was supposed to be apparently.)  Another time he told me he was glad that no guys looked at me on the beach.  Ummm ... thank you ... I guess??  Well the other night I had been furiously working in the yard for HOURS and when I came inside all bedraggled and a mess, I looked in the mirror and said to him, "Good grief.  I couldn't look any worse if I tried" to which my adoring husband replied, "Oh sweetie, yes you could." Long awkward pause.  WHAT?!!!!!!  And as usual, after twenty minutes of back peddling and explaining, that of course wasn't what he meant!  Geez!  Anyone know where I can sign up an ALMOST perfect husband for eloquence lessons?  I know a guy who needs them!!  :)

Rude

 (2013) Lily Claire asked me, "Does the Easter Bunny come at night while we're sleeping and hide eggs where no on can find them?"

"Yes!" I answered, thinking she'd be delighted.

Frowning, she replied, "That's RUDE!"

Dragon

 (2011) Tonight at dinner, Grammie asked Lily if she was a "good girl."  Lily thought a minute then shouted, "NO!  I AM A MEAN DRAGON!  ROARRRRR!"  We all about cracked up!  She's definitely her mother's daughter!!!

Heaven

 (2013) Poor Papaw!!!   Dylan went over to his house today to play for a while (and to give Mom a break!) and Papaw ended up pitching him 300 wiffle balls AND playing a few rounds of basketball with him in the three hours he was there!  I'm sure Dylan was in HEAVEN .... Papaw, not so much!!!  :)

Good Night

 (2013) Lily Claire melted my heart tonight.  When I tucked her in bed and was leaving her room I said, "Good night sweet girl.  I love you."  She answered, "Ok.  Thank you for loving me, Mom."  So precious.

Hunk

 (2015) Oh my gosh... I can NOT quit laughing! One of Bran's baseball buddies came rushing up to Skeet tonight and said, "Mr. Taylor! We learned about someone today in history class that looks EXACTLY like you! I couldn't believe it!" Guess who it was?!! PRESIDENT TRUMAN!!!!!!!!!!! I about fell out laughing! Someone, hold me back from this hunk! 

Punch

 (2012) Lily Claire just told me that if I don't wear green today, a leprechaun will PUNCH me! I said, "No, he won't!  That's not nice!"  Lily Claire insisted that's what her teacher said!  Then it dawned on me she meant the leprechaun would PINCH me! For a minute, I thought we had an violent leprechaun running around here somewhere!  :)

BSOL

 Those of you who know me are aware that I'm not really known for having extensive baseball knowledge (ok, none), and I've been known to erroneously scream "good cut" from time to time when Bran catches a ball in the outfield. I basically sit at the games asking Skeet "What happened?" after each play  and just clap for whatever Bran does. HOWEVER, I was never fully aware of my complete and utter lack of baseball knowledge until the other evening Brandon Taylor and Robert Skeet Taylor were on either side of me  rehashing a recent game. Believe me when I say that they talked for over twenty minutes saying stuff I'd never even heard of IN MY LIFE that apparently did or didn't happen in the game. Y'all, I literally had NO IDEA what they were even saying! It was like a weird, secret "man code" that I'd never been privy to until now!

Here's what the conversation sounded like to me ..., "The southpaw dinger brushback pickle set-up-man with the seeing-eye-single shoestring catch in the hole flashed some leather on the hot corner who had a safety squeeze on a sacrifice bunt with a slice foul sinker in the backdoor breaking ball bad hop balk for the closer in the clutch and the mop up with the BABIP ERA WHIP, don't you agree?"

Ummmm .... yes??  .... 

I've now decided that instead of being ESOL, (English as a Second or Other Language), I am what you would call BSOL,.. (BASEBALL as a Second or Other Language).  And after hearing all their jibberish, it will be a PERMANENT condition for me, I am quite sure. Unless maybe there is some Rosetta Stone software that could help me out. 🙂  #lifewiththeTaylormen

Birthday

 (2011) Just had a FUN birthday dinner with my family at the Japanese restaurant ... cracking up because after spend the night parties and a baseball car wash this weekend, both my boys pretty much slept through the whole thing!!!

DMV

 My dad took a friend of ours from church to renew his license at the DMV.  They walked in and not a SOUL was in the place (how lucky!)  The walked up to the counter and said they needed to renew.  Now, mind you, NO ONE was there but them.  The lady said, "I'm sorry, You have to take a number."  Laughing, they went over and pulled a number, number 12, and then returned to the lady.  The lady then said, "I'm sorry.  You'll have to be seated until your number is called."  THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE THERE!  As soon as they sat down in the waiting area, the lady caled out, "Number 12." They took their number to her at that point and THEN she proceeded to help them renew.  I was cracking up envisioning this scene ... it's like something from the Carol Burnett show!  

Advice

 Today's free springtime advice .... never coat all your birdseed with "Coles Flaming Squirrel Repellant Sauce" and then hang your feeder from a very high branch on a super windy day.  Though it sounds unlikely, a big piece of flaming seed WILL fall out of the feeder right into your eye.  Unfortunately I am speaking from painful experience.

Snow Day

 Another installment of “Jen and Skeet are complete opposites.”

SNOW DAY 

Snow pouring outside. 

Skeet: I think I’m going to get the laundry done, go for a brisk walk, then go to the gym for a long workout!

Jen: I think I’m going to wrap another fuzzy blanket around my head and sit by the fire with Buddy and my massive mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream and eat another biscuit.”

We both successfully completed our goals for the day!😂😂😂 

Bedtime

 (2015) It's about two minutes before bedtime and Lily asks me if she could tell me just one more quick thing before bed. 

"Sure," I said sleepily. "What is it?"

"Will you listen to my top 100 laughs and tell me which is the best one?"

Ummm ... no, Lil. Let's save that for your next spend the night with Grammie!!